Are some people really just naturally big?

blackdragonclare
blackdragonclare Posts: 91
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
I have battled with my weight my whole life and all anyone ever tells me is that I have a big frame (my dr says the oppersite) or that its my genetics even though most of my family are like sticks.

so my question is are some people just destined to be a certain size? my whole adult life I have been 180lb weather I starve myself eat healthy or eat rubbish the only time I've been any bigger is when I've just had a baby. so is this the size I'm ment ti be?

I've been getting really down the last week about it (that's why the last few days I've eaten junk) I don't want to be this size fir the rest of my life I am on my feet nearly all day chasing the kids around but the number never changes. am alone on this one?

Replies

  • Achoooo
    Achoooo Posts: 130
    I'm not sure, I know some people will probably never be a size 2, but they probably don't need to be.
    I think if you are using MFP to track everything, then as long as you are getting the appropriate calories along with vitamins, minerals, fiber, all that, then if you stay the same but are doing everything right, then yes maybe. But perhaps tweaking by seeing what you are doing then making adjustments, maybe you'll start to lose.
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
    I'm never gonna be a stick... but I will be a size 6. thats my goal. Focus on the NSV's for a while and you will be encouraged.
  • blackdragonclare
    blackdragonclare Posts: 91
    I'm never gonna be a stick... but I will be a size 6. thats my goal. Focus on the NSV's for a while and you will be encouraged.
    what are nsv's
  • iitsolivia
    iitsolivia Posts: 28
    Non-Scale Victories! Like slipping into that pair of jeans without having love handles :)
  • ♥♥YoungMrs♥♥
    ♥♥YoungMrs♥♥ Posts: 178
    non scale victories..the numbers dont necessarily mean everything..
  • blackdragonclare
    blackdragonclare Posts: 91
    non scale victories..the numbers dont necessarily mean everything..
    thanks I'm no good at abreviations.
  • Mayor_West
    Mayor_West Posts: 246 Member
    Just like anything else in life, it simply comes down to how badly you want it. Your health needs to be a top priority in your life- putting other things ahead of it will only yield unsatisfactory results. If you are willing and able to FULLY commit yourself, then you WILL succeed. But the commitment needs to be there, otherwise you'll have frustration in its place. This is your life- how it turns out is entirely up to YOU.
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    I really don't believe anyone is naturally overweight. Except for the rare medical condition, most of us are overweight or obese because we either eat too large of a portion, make poor food choices (eating cookies over fruit or emotional eating), or some combination of both.

    You even mentioned in your original post that "I've been getting really down the last week about it (that's why the last few days I've eaten junk)." See the paragraph above...you aren't meant to be overweight but you do make poor choices. Please don't take that the wrong way, as WE ALL made poor choices, hence our need for MFP!

    Most of us will never be rail thin, and quite frankly I would never want to be, but I don't believe for an instant anyone's body is designed to have an unhealthy BMI.
  • tdh302
    tdh302 Posts: 57 Member
    Genetics do play a part and although we can't solely blame genetics for difficulty with reaching a particular size/weight- it can't be discounted either; it is one factor.

    I have been pretty much the same weight and size since i was about 25. I have never really changed much other than an occasional 5 pounds up or down - back to where I stay. I'm lucky in that I happen to fall into the middle of what most charts show as a healthy weight range, but to try to get to the low end, forget it. Throw in Hashimoto's, the fact that I'm over 40, and that is just not going to happen. I do believe that for some people, eating extremely "clean", staying within a specific calorie range, and working out (cardio + weights) , will still not necessarily yield the same dramatic results that others doing the same thing will see. I often joke that if most people ate like I do and worked out like I do, they would be too thin. My body just doesn't work like that.

    If for no other reason to simply be the very best that you can be, and be the healthiest that you can be, keep up the good work and focus on good health, physical stamina and strength, and living your fullest life :)
  • angp7711
    angp7711 Posts: 324 Member
    I can answer for me. I am a "big" person. I come a family of big people. WE just have big frames. Here is a calculator to measure frame http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/fsz

    I may have a big frame BUT I know that I don't naturally have fat deposits around my organs. I am pretty close to a healthy BMI and I will stop when I get down to 145 (I am 5'5) I have a girlfriend who is my height and weight and size who has looked great at a weight lower than that. I know for me my face and upper chest start to look really gaunt around 151 even though I could still use to lose some more in my lower body and middle at that weight I won't go too much lower. In addition to frame size think about body composition. I may be naturally a bigger person BUT I do not naturally have unhealthy bodyfat percentage.

    If you are getting frustrated maybe you could change your goal a bit. Go for losing inches around your waist. It is the most dangerous fat that surrounds your organs. Maybe go for reducing your bodyfat percentage. These things are overall health goals. I think you will shock yourself. Once you take the focus off the scale number and attain one of the other goals. The scale might drop past this "set" weight for you.

    Don't lose hope. Keep treating your body well, moving it and giving it good fuel. It can't do any harm...
    Hugs!
    Ang
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    I believe most people are destined to be a certain size, I will never be a 2 - my hips are too wide and there isn't much you can do about bone width. With that said I went from a 16 to an 8, and probably could get down to 4 or 6 (working on that now). You just have to have patience and stick with it. Even a good 30lb weight loss will do you some good.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    To determine the body frame size, measure the wrist with a tape measure and use the following chart to determine whether the person is small, medium, or large boned.Women:Height under 5'2" Small = wrist size less than 5.5"Medium = wrist size 5.5" to 5.75"Large = wrist size over 5.75"Height 5'2" to 5' 5" Small = wrist size less than 6"Medium = wrist size 6" to 6.25"Large = wrist size over 6.25"Height over 5' 5" Small = wrist size less than 6.25"Medium = wrist size 6.25" to 6.5"Large = wrist size over 6.5"Men:Height over 5' 5" Small = wrist size 5.5" to 6.5"Medium = wrist size 6.5" to 7.5"Large = wrist size over 7.5"

  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I believe some people have bigger frames or bigger body types but in general, the heigh/weight or BMI scales are fairly accurate.
    To be really sure, talk to your doc about it the next time you're in for a check-up. Hopefully they know you well enough so you can get a better idea of what a healthy weight is and how they think you could better get there.

    After a quick look at your food diary (went back a couple weeks to skip your junk emotional eating) - it actually looks to me like you don't eat enough and that may mean your body is doing that starvation mode thing.
  • Shadowcasting
    Shadowcasting Posts: 124 Member
    If people can be "naturally thin" then people can be "naturally heavy". However, that doesn't mean a "naturally heavy" person cannot be within a healthy weight range. It just means they may have to put more work into it if they want to be lighter. I will never be a size 4. When I had my son, my OBGYN was nice enough to mention that my hips were "made for making babies"...... I'm sure it was meant in the nicest way possible ;) At my thinnest (in high school) I was accused of being anorexic, but my butt still struggled to get into a size 8. Eating anything I wanted and never exercising got me to this weight, not destiny. I can be a size 12 and be happy.
  • benitocereno
    benitocereno Posts: 101 Member
    I used the "big-bone" excuse for a long time myself. It is true that people do come in all shapes and sizes, and some people have it easier than others, but I honestly believe 99% of the time it is a convenient excuse to stay at a weight you've become accustomed to. It's true that some people will never wear petite clothes, but that should be because of muscle differences, not skeletal ones. I don't remember who said it, but think about it this way- "how many fat skeletons have you seen?"

    I happen to have a pretty wide frame myself - broad shoulders, wide hips, etc. But now that I've lost the weight and I can see the tips of my hip-bones, my collar bone, etc, I know what size my frame actually is. If you asked me two years ago I would have said I'm just a big and stocky guy. Now I can say with honestly that I have a wide frame, but the inches I've lost from all over reveal that I'm not just "big-boned" like I thought in the past. I'm actually pretty trim under all that 'natural bigness' :smile:

    All that said, I think most people see themselves as being naturally big because they've maintained the same diet for years and years, not because they've actually lost to a healthy BMI and adjusted their diet.
  • ATT949
    ATT949 Posts: 1,245 Member
    I read a page that described the wrist size and the elbow size approach.

    I was large framed by wrist size but medium by elbow. I'm more inclined to go with the elbow size method because you're measuring the width of a single bone vs measuring around a wrist.


    http://www.ehow.com/how_5168263_determine-size-elbow-size-method.html
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    I think there is some variation.....think of it as 2 people could eat the same and because of a ton of different variables (metabolism, activity levele etc) can vary greatly as far as what they actually weigh
    BUT I think (just my opinion) if u are significantly over-weight I think there must be an issue with the types or foods you eat and/or portion control

    Just my .02
    good luck to everyone!
    Kim
  • eveunderground
    eveunderground Posts: 236 Member
    Just like anything else in life, it simply comes down to how badly you want it. Your health needs to be a top priority in your life- putting other things ahead of it will only yield unsatisfactory results. If you are willing and able to FULLY commit yourself, then you WILL succeed. But the commitment needs to be there, otherwise you'll have frustration in its place. This is your life- how it turns out is entirely up to YOU.
    100% agree with this.
  • hclb
    hclb Posts: 4
    I used to say that a lot, that some people are big boned (not really knowing if bone density or anything to do with bone size has something to do with a person's weight) because that's what I've heard others say. Maybe I was just using it as an excuse LOL.
  • Mayor_West
    Mayor_West Posts: 246 Member
    Bone density has NOTHING to do with a propensity for storing excess fat. Poor eating habits, however, have everything to do with it.
  • blackdragonclare
    blackdragonclare Posts: 91
    Just like anything else in life, it simply comes down to how badly you want it. Your health needs to be a top priority in your life- putting other things ahead of it will only yield unsatisfactory results. If you are willing and able to FULLY commit yourself, then you WILL succeed. But the commitment needs to be there, otherwise you'll have frustration in its place. This is your life- how it turns out is entirely up to YOU.
    as much as I want to lose weight I will always put my children before me and anything else so I guess I'm destined to fail
  • Natalie0506
    Natalie0506 Posts: 163
    I want to add this: My mom, and the rest of her family, are thinner people. They have small frames. My father passed away at well over 600 lbs. Growing up, I ate pretty well, was outside a lot playing sports, hiking, swimming, and yet I was a size 9 when I graduated from 8th grade. By the time I graduated high school, I was a 12/14. I was still playing sports, still eating well. For me, I gain weight SO easily, and I have a HELL of a time losing it. I made terrible choices with food as an adult, and on top of 3 pregnancies in 6 years, I gained a LOT of weight. At my highest, I was 230 lbs. I'm now at 216, up from 204 after I lost 25 lbs. I think that when your body gains weight easily, you have to make better choices than someone who doesn't.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    This may come across as a 2x4 but giving your children an unhealthy overweight mom is not putting them first in my opinion. This attitude also suggests any of us not overweight "do not put our kids first". I'm giving my kids a healthy and energetic mom that will hopefully be enjoying life and my great grandkids when I'm 80. I am also teaching them a healthy and active life style. Thatmay be one of the most important lessons in life I can show them.

    In this thread alone you've listed 3 excuses - being big boned, emotional issues, and being a mom. They are all excuses. If you want it bad enough YOU WILL JUST DO IT. We all have kids, problems, money issues etc. That's life and tomorrow our problems will still be here. Over eating doesn't make any of that better or easier to deal with.
  • SparkleKittie
    SparkleKittie Posts: 127
    I naturally have a very wide hips and shoulders and slightly taller bone structure than most girls. I get **** for it, but then there are men who LOVE curvy, tall women. *shrugs* All I know is I feel better and better about myself the more weight I lose.
  • jellybaby84
    jellybaby84 Posts: 583 Member
    Hmmm, I don't know, if you listen to the HAES policy (Health at Every Size) then you are meant to be the weight that you are and for some people that is large or even very large. They believe (know?) that a higher weight does not make you less healthy, except in extreme cases. They actually think it makes you more healthy in many ways. They say that having a healthy lifestyle is important but that this may or may not result in weight loss and, if it doesn't, the only problem with that is that society is prejudiced against fat people.

    I don't think I buy it but it's certainly a view point that's out there.
  • Arielnesika
    Arielnesika Posts: 87 Member
    I recently had my lean body mass measured and it was 161 pounds, I'm 5'7". It was kind of awesome to know exactly how many pounds of fat I'm carrying on my body... and to know that my goal weight probably shouldn't be 160 pounds. I just won't ever be a size 2 and that's fine! Maybe LBM decreases with weight loss (I haven't gotten a complete answer on that) but it seems like unless I were to loose bone density, guts, or muscle mass, I just wouldn't want to be below or even too near that weight.

    Sorry about the long self-centered comment but...I really suggest getting that measurement. I may be misunderstanding it, but it definitely gave me some peace of mind about my goal weight.
  • angp7711
    angp7711 Posts: 324 Member
    Just like anything else in life, it simply comes down to how badly you want it. Your health needs to be a top priority in your life- putting other things ahead of it will only yield unsatisfactory results. If you are willing and able to FULLY commit yourself, then you WILL succeed. But the commitment needs to be there, otherwise you'll have frustration in its place. This is your life- how it turns out is entirely up to YOU.
    as much as I want to lose weight I will always put my children before me and anything else so I guess I'm destined to fail

    Sweetie, I have three kids (10, 9 and 3) and a hubby. I really believe in order to take care of everyone else I need to take good care of myself. Its OK to put yourself on the priority list. Getting my 60 minutes of exercise and taking a bit of extra time to make a more time consuming healthier meal doesn't make me a bad mom. In my house if mommy ain't happy ain't nobody happy, lol. Remember you are setting examples for your kids on how to live the best healthiest life. When I take good care of myself I am happier and have more energy to keep up with them. It really does pay you back.

    smiles!
    Ang
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    This may come across as a 2x4 but giving your children an unhealthy overweight mom is not putting them first in my opinion. This attitude also suggests any of us not overweight "do not put our kids first". I'm giving my kids a healthy and energetic mom that will hopefully be enjoying life and my great grandkids when I'm 80. I am also teaching them a healthy and active life style. Thatmay be one of the most important lessons in life I can show them.

    In this thread alone you've listed 3 excuses - being big boned, emotional issues, and being a mom. They are all excuses. If you want it bad enough YOU WILL JUST DO IT. We all have kids, problems, money issues etc. That's life and tomorrow our problems will still be here. Over eating doesn't make any of that better or easier to deal with.

    Agreed.

    We are all here because we made excuses for way too long or justified our being overweight. You can choose to do something about it or choose to justify why you are overweight and stay on that path.

    My excuse was that I was too busy. I travel some for work, sometimes I work 16 hour days, so in my mind I had no time for weight loss. Finally I got off my rear end a couple months ago and realized long work days and travel are no excuse to suck down oversized portions. I still work long hours and fly all over the place (I'm in an airport right now!) but I am responsible for every morsel that goes in my mouth. Sure, I don't exercise as much as I would like because I am pressed for time but I am doing the best I can for my situation.

    I don't mean to be so blunt but really it is up to you. Everyone here has their own hardships, it is just a matter of how badly you want to reach your end goal. Try using MFP, lean on this community for support...you CAN do it!
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