natural skinny vs. working hard

thedreamhazer
thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
Has anyone noticed that people, in general, are more supportive of thinner people when they think that they are just naturally that way, as opposed to when people work hard to stay that way?

It's just my perception, but as I've started to lose weight and get smaller, I've started to get really paranoid about people figuring out how hard I work. I started a new job at 20 lbs. down, so my coworkers don't know that I'm losing weight, and I'm really anxious about them figuring out that I've been working really hard. My perception is that, when you're naturally thin, people are jealous but not nicer about it. When you work hard for it, people seem more upset. Like, you're grasping for something that you're not supposed to have?

Does anyway else see this, or do you get the opposite? Also, what are your explanations for this behavior?

Replies

  • misspenny762
    misspenny762 Posts: 279 Member
    I've noticed it for sure.
  • rfialkiewicz
    rfialkiewicz Posts: 183 Member
    I've noticed it. It's very frustrating.

    For a few of my interactions, they are people who have seen so many anas and bulis that anyone who counts out their calories is a little scary and I have to re-assure them that I am actually eating.

    Others I have to chock it up to jealousy. It's the only thing I've been able to figure out. Because you beat the system and they haven't.

    As for those "naturally thin" people? I don't believe it. They are "naturally active" or "naturally small eaters", but I have never met anyone who did gain weight on a junk diet without exercise.
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    Our problem is that we do thing, like loosing weight and/or getting in shape, hoping that somebody will notice and say something nice. It is not right, and people around us don't have the obligation to notice our weight change (up or down) and/or say something about it.; we need to do things for ourselves because it is our health and our bodies

    Don't worry about your co-workes, family or friends. Do you feel better and healthy when you look at the lady in the mirror? If you do, you will feel more confident and look and act better. And sooner or later somebody will notice. If they don't, it is their loss.

    Keep walking the healthy path that you set for yourself. Keep posting your daily food intake and your daily exercises and the rewards will be yours.

    By the way, I did notice that you look great my dear!
  • keith0373
    keith0373 Posts: 2,154 Member
    We have noticed it with a family member for sure and women in general. My wife and I have lost 40 and 70 lbs respectively. Guys are always nice to both of us, but women are nasty, including her sister, the Gods Gym instructor. Her sister hates it that my wife is smaller than her even though she is 3 years older and had 2 kids.
  • fxst78
    fxst78 Posts: 221 Member
    I've noticed it. It's very frustrating.

    For a few of my interactions, they are people who have seen so many anas and bulis that anyone who counts out their calories is a little scary and I have to re-assure them that I am actually eating.

    Others I have to chock it up to jealousy. It's the only thing I've been able to figure out. Because you beat the system and they haven't.

    As for those "naturally thin" people? I don't believe it. They are "naturally active" or "naturally small eaters", but I have never met anyone who did gain weight on a junk diet without exercise.

    Totally agree, there is no such thing as naturally skinny. Calories in Vs calories out is how it works. People who are "naturally skinny" just eat the same amount of calories as they expend, but they do it without having to log it. If those people started to increase the calories and decrease the exercise then they too will put on weight. My wife does not watch what she eats at all and is quite slim. As a sneaky experiment I logged all her food and exercise for a week and low and behold she broke even at the end of the week!
  • LainMac
    LainMac Posts: 412 Member
    Yes, I have noticed that people are Okay with the "naturally thin" but not the "work at it thin". I've never been thin but hubby is in shape by eating right and working out often. So he is in good shape, actually great shape for a guy almost 50.

    His mother (a natural thin person because she really doesn't eat at all) said "Oh of my 5 kids, only child 4 is thin." while having a cup of tea with Hubby (child 5) and his sister (child 2). Hubby's sister says "Mum, what are you talking about, Child 5 is in great shape." Her response was "That doesn't count because he has to work at it." Now child 4 smokes and barely eats anything like mum but doesn have to "work at it" ~ oh yes, that is so much better????

    The other reason is that if you, Ms thedreamhazer, are able to get results by regular exercise and good food choices, you put the onus of other people's health back on their own shoulders. You make them "feel bad" because your sucess means that they could have sucess too if they just changed their ways. People don't want to change. They want to keep on keeping on doing the same thing and magically get better results.
  • HIzara
    HIzara Posts: 187
    "Diet" and "Dieting" is a touchy subject. I agree with everything posted on "diet" and "dieting". No one wants to talk about it. No one wants to know that you are on a "diet". Well, most people don't know the difference between a "crash diet" and changing your nutritional lifestyle and being very selective of what goes in your body.

    The more knowledgeable you are though, you know that the food you put in your mouth determines mostly how your body will end up looking like. Exercise is just a bonus booster.

    What I do is focus on exercising. I tell people that I have been working out 8x-10x a week for the past 12 weeks and lost 17 lbs as a result. (which is true.) Then I am asked about my workout regime.

    Everyone's reaction so far (relatives, friends and strangers alike), "WOW".

    I think hard work and discipline when it comes to exercise is a better subject to talk about. There's nothing unhealthy that can be discussed when it comes to exercise. It's a much healthier and clean topic to discuss. As we get deeper into the conversation, I mention that in order to have to capacity and energy to workout everyday, I have to be selective of my diet to ensure that I give myself the energy to workout and feel good. This means, more protein and less fat, etc..

    Dieting is tricky because there are illnesses and other things that people fear. Exercise takes discipline and hard work.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
    When I was in my early 40s working in my fitness-related jobs, I would often work with overweight men who were my general age. At the time I was in the 12%-15% body fat range. They would list all their excuses for gaining weight and make remarks like "you wouldn't understand, or, you can eat anything you want because you're naturally thin". I could never say what I was thinking, which was, "no, by body is just like yours, except that I get off my butt and run 40 or 50 miles a week". (and 10 years later, I proved myself right) :ohwell:
  • xarrium
    xarrium Posts: 432 Member
    We have noticed it with a family member for sure and women in general. My wife and I have lost 40 and 70 lbs respectively. Guys are always nice to both of us, but women are nasty, including her sister, the Gods Gym instructor. Her sister hates it that my wife is smaller than her even though she is 3 years older and had 2 kids.

    Yes!! Women can be really catty... I think it's part jealousy and part "needing" to have an opinion... guys are usually like, "Hey, cool, you're doing a good job", while girls are more like, "Well, tell me everything you do, then I'll pick it apart and discredit everything you know based on what I know." Sigh. It makes me really glad there's a nice community here that's supportive of anyone and everyone. :)
  • usernom
    usernom Posts: 8
    i agree with you somewhat; the two groups do seem to be treated differently.

    some people make little changes over a lifetime, while others wage an all-out assault on themselves. personally, whenever i hear about someone feverishly dieting, i immediately worry what would drive someone to fight so passionately against their own body (especially if i didnt think there was ever anything wrong with them before*). tampering with the very thing that keeps you alive ? not everyone is comfortable with that ! that being said, if someone has never shared your experience, then they most likely do not understand your motives or how you came by them. a negative bystander might pass judgment on your rationale from time to time, but these are judgments based on assumptions. ignore such people, and do not let them diminish your achievements !

    *referring to health risks at previous weight
  • anu_6986
    anu_6986 Posts: 702 Member

    Yes!! Women can be really catty... I think it's part jealousy and part "needing" to have an opinion... guys are usually like, "Hey, cool, you're doing a good job", while girls are more like, "Well, tell me everything you do, then I'll pick it apart and discredit everything you know based on what I know." Sigh. It makes me really glad there's a nice community here that's supportive of anyone and everyone. :)

    That is quite true! Ya its nice to see the ppl here being so positive and supportive :)
  • sbriggs84
    sbriggs84 Posts: 4
    A lot of people feel I am naturally thin. I am 5"3 and 127 pounds right now. But I agree with what you guys have
    been saying. When I started MFP it really made me look at my eating habits. Yay some days I could eat ANYTHING i wanted,
    burgers, chips, cookies, anything. But I noticed that there would be other days I would eat like 700 calories, I just
    wouldn't feel like eating. Now when I get nervous about something, I will eat constantly and I've noticed i will gain weight pretty
    quickly like in a week 3 or 4 pounds. I think I have a small frame but i still gain weight it's just all in my stomach and butt. Which is the genetics I received from my father. The only good genetics i have is an active childhood which instilled in me a love of sports which always encouraged me to exert spurts of energy for the sake of a win. But like I said i agree with everyone!!! Good work! Everyone and I love this site!!! And the encouragement !!
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