Don't judge other people!! :(

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2

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  • skinnyhopes
    skinnyhopes Posts: 402 Member
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    respect :)
  • believetoachieve
    believetoachieve Posts: 675 Member
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    hey they asked, we answer..just because you dont like the answer we give doesnt mean we are being rude.
    dont come on here asking for advice if you cant take what other people say.

    if you want to know why you are plateaued and only working out for 20 mins 2x a week dont get offended if someone tells you to workout more...you asked we answer..simple as that.

    That's not true. People spit out their advice without being asked. In another thread on here, people were ridiculing those who walk on treadmills - making fun of them, laughing at them, etc. It baffles me that people even think this way about others - let alone come to a forum and make fun of these people for "just" walking, or laughing at them for running "too slow". That's just wrong, and totally uncalled for!

    In another situation, someone insulted people who park close to the gym entrance. I explained how I'm on an extremely tight schedule, and it's freezing cold here. Wearing shorts/capris to the gym, I have no choice but to park close. He responded, telling me that I'm not doing my fitness"properly". Again, unsolicited, unasked for, and just rude! :frown:
  • annacataldo
    annacataldo Posts: 872 Member
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    if you want to know why you are plateaued and only working out for 20 mins 2x a week dont get offended if someone tells you to workout more...you asked we answer..simple as that.

    Plenty of people lose weight with little to no excercise. Such as myself, who has lost .6lbs a day with barely excercising. I have friends on here in a wheelchair, or severe asthma, that can't excercise.. excercising more is not the answer for everyone. Its not an instant fix, and telling someone who isn't eating enough as is, to excercise more cuz she hit a plateu like I saw u do earlier is wrong advice. I know plenty of ppl that burn 1k calories a day and never take a day off from gym, that hit plateus as well...excercising more isn't always the answer, everyone is different!
  • Mightytaco84
    Mightytaco84 Posts: 76 Member
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    Welcome to the Internet! Anonymity is a powerful tool.

    The Internet teaches one thing well and that is to not feed the trolls.

    I know, but a lot of these people aren't trolls, they're just loud, rude people with hurtful intentions who think they're the fitness god (rather than simply trying to irritate others). :frown:

    Definition of a troll
  • DaniiDean
    DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
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    When did we learn to judge? ....... such a awful thing.

    nice post :)
  • Karma8683
    Karma8683 Posts: 4
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    I agree completely. Judgmental people are one of my biggest pet peeves. I've come to the conclusion that they are trying to compensate for their own insecurities. Ignoring it is hard and its good that you can vent in a supportive environment.
  • susiewusie
    susiewusie Posts: 432 Member
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    OP well said ,some people just like to rant on in posts as they wouldnt dare do it face to face I bet !
  • MsTae84
    MsTae84 Posts: 43 Member
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    I totally agree with this post.. Before you start judging others take a look at yourself.
  • baxyboy
    baxyboy Posts: 70 Member
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    Completely agree - it's all about finding what works best for you.
    If you are happy with what you're eating, the exercise you're doing and you are losing weight - who cares what anyone else thinks!

    "You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Friedrich Nietzsche
  • JayClitherow
    JayClitherow Posts: 16
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    I agree with all but one point.... the parking next to the gym door, next to my gym door is nothing but two rows of disabled spaces, and generally these are parked in by fit blokes in 4x4's, and I know that there are people who come to my gym to use some of the facilities who really are less able than some of us and so these spaces would be very beneficial should they be kept free for them... but yes other than that I agree totally (and even with that point I was just being silly and pedantic really as I am in that mood :o) ) everyone is different and some people chose to do all this without the gym at all and just walk a little more, leave those biccies with coffee so they can have desert later, who cares, whatever works for you, there is no right or wrong way.

    I believe some people just feel so passionate about it, that when asked, instead of giving advice and advising how they do it, they tend to tell people how they should do it (I've found myself doing this from time to time) and they may not mean to, they perhaps just feel overall they are trying to help, but in reality they are not!

    Jay.
  • rachel871
    rachel871 Posts: 113 Member
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    I'm kind of on the fence with this - although there are a lot of people on these forums who do try to preach their way as 'the only way', which does get very annoying, a lot of the time they are giving advice in response to people asking for it - and surely if you're dedicated and motivated to your diet, the way you're choosing to do it, you're going to think its the best way aren't you?!

    the other side of the argument is that a lot of people who ask for advice don't give full information to start with - ie they ask what they're doing wrong, so people respond (eg exercise more) and only then do they say they can't exercise for x reason, and then the people giving the advice seem like bad guys!

    at the end of the day the trouble with internet forums where you are essentially talking to strangers, is posts can be taken wayyyy out of context! something i think you see more and more of in these threads... i reckon just take what people say with a pinch of salt, if what you are doing is working for you, then keep at it and don't mind anyone else's opinions! :)
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,632 Member
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    Well said. Support is one thing, arguing is another.
  • ybba12490
    ybba12490 Posts: 252
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    I hate when people say I'm wrong for doing something fitness/diet related. If I have been to a doctor and they have told me what I'm doing is healthy, don't try and convince me that I'm wrong, especially concerning calories and or what I'm consuming. Everyone's body is different and has different needs. I wouldn't have lost 8lbs in 2 weeks the HEALTHY way if I was doing something "wrong"
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    That's not true. People spit out their advice without being asked. In another thread on here, people were ridiculing those who walk on treadmills -

    it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

    why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

    people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you.
  • ybba12490
    ybba12490 Posts: 252
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    I'm kind of on the fence with this - although there are a lot of people on these forums who do try to preach their way as 'the only way', which does get very annoying, a lot of the time they are giving advice in response to people asking for it - and surely if you're dedicated and motivated to your diet, the way you're choosing to do it, you're going to think its the best way aren't you?!

    the other side of the argument is that a lot of people who ask for advice don't give full information to start with - ie they ask what they're doing wrong, so people respond (eg exercise more) and only then do they say they can't exercise for x reason, and then the people giving the advice seem like bad guys!

    at the end of the day the trouble with internet forums where you are essentially talking to strangers, is posts can be taken wayyyy out of context! something i think you see more and more of in these threads... i reckon just take what people say with a pinch of salt, if what you are doing is working for you, then keep at it and don't mind anyone else's opinions! :)

    I really really agree with this also. However, there is a difference between being rude and being helpful. I know you say things can be taken out of context, but some people just seem to go out of their way to be rude! Not cool!
  • 36jessica
    36jessica Posts: 319 Member
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    Well said! We're supposed to support each other but maybe sometimes I get the feeling that it's a competition. I don't want to compare myself to others or have others compae themselves to me. We are all fighting the same war, but each battle is totally unique.
  • JunkFoodJane
    JunkFoodJane Posts: 150 Member
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    I have been thinking about this for a few days. Since surgery 18 months ago (major) I am soooo uncomfortable with what my body can do. Someone recently was talking about people holding on on the treadmill and how it's worthless and negates the workout.

    My HRM disagreed, as did the sweat dripping through my clothes after half an hour. My surgery was for nothing I did wrong- rather following my doctor's orders I ended up in a terrible spot. Sure, I used to charge along at 7mph and only 20 lbs less, but my body is different now. I didnt need 19 year old hard bodies trying to give me advice. I used to look like them, they don't know how TERRIFIED I am of falling on the treadmill. Or how my balance, which I used to take pride in in my gymnastics, is compromised. I am sweating as hard as they are. My body is just in a totally different place.


    If I feel sad I'm not losing weight, I'm not asking for tips. Just to let people know. :)
  • longtallted
    longtallted Posts: 34 Member
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    I once heard somebody say "communication... is what the listener does". i.e. It does not matter how appropriate the person talking/writing feels they are being, it is the recipient of their words who feels and decides what is being 'communicated'.

    In this context, basically, if you think you're writing useful, appropriate posts on a forum and anybody gives you feedback that they don't appreciate the communication they receive from it... then you need to adapt your style or it will continue to be rejected.

    If you want to talk and be listened to, then providing your words in a way that is welcomed by the listener is required. That's not negotiable, it is essential.
  • debbiequack
    debbiequack Posts: 275 Member
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    You know, when I used to go to trainers, they would tell me things like "well, it's not going to do you any good if you only do it twenty minutes a day"... etc... I would get sooo annoyed.

    Two years ago I started with slow walking 2 miles a day, 3X per week, and now (at my own pace) I'm up to 30 min of cardio, 6X/week and another 10 of weight training 6X?week. It worked for me to do it at that pace.

    Best,

    Debbie
  • debbiequack
    debbiequack Posts: 275 Member
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    "it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

    why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

    people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you"

    I don't agree with this comment. I agree with it in "Life in general" but MFP is a support board and I personally come hoping to filter out everything but advice that's asked for and general encouragement.

    In the big, real world, I don't care if someone is judging me, particularly if I don't know them. But here, I'm looking for something specific.

    Just my two cents.

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