I made my kid overweight

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erica79
erica79 Posts: 242 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I went to sign my 8 year old boy up for football yesterday and was told he has to lose 15 pounds or he will have to move up to the next division. I can't believe I let him get this big. I feel like such a bad mother for allowing him to eat so much.
A little history... My son was born 2lbs and 3 months early. He was a peanut. unitl age 5 he was on of the smallest kids in the family. He's always been very active. He's been playing baseball, football, steet hockey, basketball and bowling since he was 5. His first year of football is when he starting getting bigger and his appetite increased A LOT. He would come home from school have a sandwich, go to football practice for 2 hours and then come home and have a normal dinner. At the time, I was watching my weight and it never really occured that this was wrong. Plus like I said he was a peanut at that time so with all the exercise he was getting I thought he really needed that extra sandwich before practice. And maybe he did but once football was done he continued eating this way. And we didn't stop him..
So 3 years later, my kid is overweight. Since I starting eating healthy my husband and son have too. We eat only whole wheat pasta and brown rice, hardly any sweets and no soda. He has lots of apples, yogurt veggies etc Of course he'd still rather cookies, but so wouldn't I.... I pack a lunch every day so he's not eating processed school lunches. Still with all this eating healthy he has managed to continue to gain and not lose. I made an appointment to speak to our doctor about this but in the meantime, does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to lose weight? It's getting nice out now and we have been getting out more and more to ride bikes, walk to dogs etc...but when you are only 8 and you have to lose 15 pounds..it's really hard..
Pleasen no parenting bashing. I already feel pretty rotten.
thanks for reading..
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Replies

  • e1lindsay
    e1lindsay Posts: 230
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    I would say just wait and see what the doctor says...with all the healthy eating and exercise i don't think you could do anything more! just watch his sugar intake, even naturally occuring sugar. maybe he has a thyroid problem or something...or maybe he's about to hit a growth spurt and his height will catch up to his weight!
  • Sarahbear83
    Sarahbear83 Posts: 110 Member
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    Honestly, some kids just put on a bit of extra weight around this age and it balances out once they hit puberty. So long as he is eating a balanced diet, with occasional treats and getting plenty of exercise, I would not worry about his weight. There are more factors to determine health than just weight.
  • shaunshaikh
    shaunshaikh Posts: 616 Member
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    I am a wrestling coach and many parents put their kids into wrestling because they hope they will lose weight. I once had a 5 year old kid who was 95 pounds... for about 2 practices, before his parents stopped bringing him and returning my phone calls.

    My guess is that if he's an active kid, is eating healthy foods, and doesn't have any underlying medical conditions that the problem probably boils down to portion size. You should know from this website that you CAN have too much of a good thing. Find out from your doctor or the internet how many calories he should be eating a day and adjust his diet accordingly.

    I grew up with a pretty bad sense of portion sizes and it made me overweight any time I wasn't full-on into sports. I know how it goes. Good luck, at least you recognize the problem and are trying to fix it.
  • e1lindsay
    e1lindsay Posts: 230
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    also, if that's him in the picture i don't think he looks that overweight! looks like a normal 8 year old to me, but all kids are different...my nephew will be 7 in a couple weeks and he's only 32 lbs! he's tiny!
  • fuzzymel
    fuzzymel Posts: 400 Member
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    I agree see what the doctor says and then work on an action plan.
  • lllazarus
    lllazarus Posts: 11
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    Wait until you talk to the doctor and then you will be able to decide what course of action to take.
  • erica79
    erica79 Posts: 242 Member
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    I am a wrestling coach and many parents put their kids into wrestling because they hope they will lose weight. I once had a 5 year old kid who was 95 pounds... for about 2 practices, before his parents stopped bringing him and returning my phone calls.

    My guess is that if he's an active kid, is eating healthy foods, and doesn't have any underlying medical conditions that the problem probably boils down to portion size. You should know from this website that you CAN have too much of a good thing. Find out from your doctor or the internet how many calories he should be eating a day and adjust his diet accordingly.

    I grew up with a pretty bad sense of portion sizes and it made me overweight any time I wasn't full-on into sports. I know how it goes. Good luck, at least you recognize the problem and are trying to fix it.

    thanks. That was my plan for tonight. I do think his portions might be too big. Going to dig and see how many calories he should be consuming. Maybe I'll track his intake as well.
  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
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    You might find that he's getting food from other sources during the day. I did that when I was smaller - I would buy unhealthy snacks from shops ALL THE TIME. I didn't learn! Needless to say I put on weight after puberty ended. Anyway, don't assume he's just eating what you give him - he simply CANNOT gain weight on less than his BMR anyway.

    Edit - sorry if this sounds horrible or rude! - I'm just relating it to what I did when I was younger, and what a lot of children do.
  • erica79
    erica79 Posts: 242 Member
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    also, if that's him in the picture i don't think he looks that overweight! looks like a normal 8 year old to me, but all kids are different...my nephew will be 7 in a couple weeks and he's only 32 lbs! he's tiny!

    32 pounds! that's tiny. That is him in the picture. He's not huge, just got a belly and but like him mom :smile:
  • Genie30
    Genie30 Posts: 316 Member
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    I'm wondering if portion control might be the key. Is he having adult sized meals or ones appropriate to his age?

    Also, could he be accessing other food or drinking his calories in soda at school? One thing I used to do was take any money I'd been given and shove it straingt in the vending machine to get chocolate with.

    It's good you've noticed now and that you have the opportunity to turn it around :-D
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
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    don't be so hard on yourself..i am so sorry you are feeling this way, but just think..at least you aren't like those parents on maury that have 3 year olds over 100 lbs..you are doing what you cna to improve yourself AND your family..you are doing a wonderful thing as a mother..wait and see what the doctor says, then go from there...best of luck :)
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
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    My son was pushing overweight at that age, he stayed that way through 8th grade. Then suddenly, he hit a growth spell. He is now 6 foot and slightly underweight. I think it is genetics. I would not panic about it or feel guilty at all. I would talk to the doctor. Children all grow in different ways. Now if he is sitting on the coach, playing video games and eating snacks 24/7, you might be a little justified in your guilt. But I really think he is probably pretty normal.
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    I went to sign my 8 year old boy up for football yesterday and was told he has to lose 15 pounds or he will have to move up to the next division. I can't believe I let him get this big. I feel like such a bad mother for allowing him to eat so much.
    A little history... My son was born 2lbs and 3 months early. He was a peanut. unitl age 5 he was on of the smallest kids in the family. He's always been very active. He's been playing baseball, football, steet hockey, basketball and bowling since he was 5. His first year of football is when he starting getting bigger and his appetite increased A LOT. He would come home from school have a sandwich, go to football practice for 2 hours and then come home and have a normal dinner. At the time, I was watching my weight and it never really occured that this was wrong. Plus like I said he was a peanut at that time so with all the exercise he was getting I thought he really needed that extra sandwich before practice. And maybe he did but once football was done he continued eating this way. And we didn't stop him..
    So 3 years later, my kid is overweight. Since I starting eating healthy my husband and son have too. We eat only whole wheat pasta and brown rice, hardly any sweets and no soda. He has lots of apples, yogurt veggies etc Of course he'd still rather cookies, but so wouldn't I.... I pack a lunch every day so he's not eating processed school lunches. Still with all this eating healthy he has managed to continue to gain and not lose. I made an appointment to speak to our doctor about this but in the meantime, does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to lose weight? It's getting nice out now and we have been getting out more and more to ride bikes, walk to dogs etc...but when you are only 8 and you have to lose 15 pounds..it's really hard..
    Pleasen no parenting bashing. I already feel pretty rotten.
    thanks for reading..

    Agreed with the previous poster-- my kids have all totally chunked out at different times....starting around age 8, and then, yes, as growth spurts hit, up they shoot. I have a nine year old girl who has always been chunkier than the other kids, and is now about a head and and a half taller than them.

    God makes us all differently. Personally, the last thing I'd worry about is getting him into football. I knew a parent who weekly would put his son in a sweatsuit and make him run laps around the football field, at age 8, to get him to weight before game time. He would also restrict food.

    The rest of us parents were aghast.

    Your son is healthy, no? You're a good mom. You feed him well. Don't bash yourself. Weight limits for football are only necessary for "injury" purposes. They're certainly not indicative of your parenting skills, so cut yourself some slack.

    Sounds like you have a healthy kid, eating good food. To put him on a diet or restrict his intake would seem folly, in my opinion-- as long as he's not sitting on his behind all day playing X-box and/or eating crap food, I wouldn't sweat it.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    I'm not a parent... but maybe some fun activities around town? Skating is a blast, and speed skating can burn as many calories as running but actually give you better muscle tone, plus its a lot of fun! Bike ridding as a family, or playing tennis, etc as a family would also be a lot of fun and not seem as much like exercise :) Good luck!
  • bparr
    bparr Posts: 246 Member
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    One suggestion-- if not already-- try to ensure not eating too close to bed time-- even if healthy food, doesn't get burned off as well when you go to sleep soon after eating.
  • sarahbear1981
    sarahbear1981 Posts: 610 Member
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    I would say this may have to do with natural weight gain before a growth spurt. If he is eating healthy and exercising there is not much else he can do. I would get him checked and make sure every thing is okay in terms of thyroid and insulin levels. Also, does he have access to food outside your house. Is he trading his food for other food? I used to do that despite the healthy lunches my mom would pack me.

    I want to tell you that you shouldn't feel rotten. Kids don't come with manuals and you are already making healthy changes for your whole family. Please don't feel guilty. My mom thinks it is her fault I am so heavy but I don't blame her because she tried very hard to give us healthy choices. Ultimately I am the one who has made the choices I have made. Not her. Just give your son the tools he needs to be healthy and be proud of doing that. He will know you love him and care about his health.
  • cbratthauer
    cbratthauer Posts: 228 Member
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    I think a lot of kids that age go through a chunky stage. You also need to be careful so that he knows not to feel bad about himself or end up with low self esteem. When I was 8 I was a chunky kid, my gym teacher even told me I needed to lose weight (only in not such a nice way). It pretty much ruined my image of myself. Of course by the time I was 13 I had lost that extra weight (through no dieting or exercising) and I was one of the skinniest in my class. My cousin's daughter (who I basically raised until she was 5) is now 9 years old. When she was 7 and 8 she went through a little chunky stage and my cousin freaked out. She now limits what Cheyenne eats and will even stop her before she's finished with a meal. It scares me because now when Cheyenne can she will go crazy over sweets and fatty foods before she has to go back to her mom, which is definitely not good for her! I think do what everybody else says, talk to a doctor, and maybe it's just a little stage he is going through!
  • waverly9876
    waverly9876 Posts: 605 Member
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    I think that you are doing the right thing. You seem like a great mom who cares about her son. Check with the doctor and ask your son if he is eating other things than what you give him. He might get upset so dont hound him, just ask him in a nice, fun way. Good luck!!!
  • zudleymarie
    zudleymarie Posts: 100 Member
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    Also, there is some research that suggests that preemies becoming larger children in later childhood, because parents are always trying to "catch them up." My son was a month early, had problems feeding and as in the NICU, and I was always so concerned about him being small and delayed, and now he has definitely caught up.
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
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    This happened to my son at about the same age (age 7-9). Then, when he was 10, he had a major growth spurt and thinned out and has been an average weight for the last 9 years. If you are truly concerned, I agree with watching portion sizes on meals. If he is still hungry, give him a bowl of fruit with a little yogurt or an apple with a little peanut butter. Don't bring any junk in the house, then he can't beg for it! Focus on "being healthy" not "losing weight" so he doesn't have negative body issues (yes, boys can have eating disorders too!). I think you are doing everything you can for him....good job!

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