Wishing my family members were supportive

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alexbowser
alexbowser Posts: 322
in Motivation and Support
Today I told my sister that I planned to walk to school tomorrow (about 6 miles road trip), and she started give me all these stupid excuses why I shouldn't. I told her I was doing it, because I wanted to and she launched into this ridiculous speech about how "she's too lazy to ever diet" and "everyone asks her what her weight loss secret is, but she just doesn't do anything". It felt really rude considering how hard I'm working.

Last night my dad made a big deal about asking me permission for them to eat popcorn in front of me. It doesn't bother me at all what they eat and I've never said anything about it (I just eat something else), but he was so obnoxious about it.

They act like I think I'm better than them because I try to eat healthy, even though it doesn't inconvenience them at all. I've made so many sacrifices for them (delaying schooling for a year to watch my 1 year old niece), but I can't sacrifice my health for them anymore.
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Replies

  • vyctoria1120
    vyctoria1120 Posts: 16
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    Stay positve, you'll do great :happy:
  • scha4r
    scha4r Posts: 17 Member
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    I hear ya. My family thinks I'm too skinny (which I'm not) and then try and load as many calories as they can onto my plate whenever I come and visit. Definitely stems from jealousy, I think.

    Stay strong. You can do this. You're doing it for you, not them!!
  • Grokette
    Grokette Posts: 3,330 Member
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    Continue to lead by example and others may join you on your journey!!
  • KendraElmendorf
    KendraElmendorf Posts: 837 Member
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    I agree stay positive! If you are doing it for you than you will do great!. I have the same sort of problem but I plan to do my best to work my way through it. Then when I'm done, I can show them that I DID do it!
  • samb
    samb Posts: 464 Member
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    My family & boyfriend are the same way. You are not alone! And that's why we are all here! We all are working very hard to get to our goals and you should never let anyone stand in your way, no matter how much they upset you. I am a vegetarian and my family constantly criticizes me for it and for trying to be healthy and working out, etc, but in all reality they are just jealous I am dedicating myself and making the effort (& making something of myself/getting to my goals) while they are moving away from their goals by doing nothing! A lot of us are in the same boat, and with the support of MFP friends and dedication/commitment, we can reach our goals and beyond, regardless of what stands in our way! <3
  • samb
    samb Posts: 464 Member
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    I agree stay positive! If you are doing it for you than you will do great!. I have the same sort of problem but I plan to do my best to work my way through it. Then when I'm done, I can show them that I DID do it!


    Exactly!!!
  • rblanton
    rblanton Posts: 3 Member
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    Just ignore them and keep doing this for you!!
  • kbeach08
    kbeach08 Posts: 184 Member
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    :( That really stinks about your family!! Keep at it even if the feel the need to make you feel bad about it! We are here to help support you and to tell you that your doing a great job!!! :D
  • MissNicholas
    MissNicholas Posts: 11
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    Family/loved ones can be one of your biggest hurdles when trying to make positive changes in your life (did you see The Fighter?). It is likely that you making positive changes makes them feel insecure because they know you're doing the right thing and they aren't. But don't let it get to you. Maybe after a while they'll want to make changes too, maybe not. Either way, continue to move forward in a positive direction! You have a whole online community here to support you!
  • sandyw127
    sandyw127 Posts: 131 Member
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    i say screw em.. if they cant support you !
  • Angel1066
    Angel1066 Posts: 816 Member
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    Your doing this for yourself and even though they are your family you just have to ignore them. Have you ever wondered that they might be jealous of you because you are taking control and being healthy. You keep doing what your doing because it makes you happy.
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I get the same problems every day in my home because I'm a reluctant vegan (I have a hard time digesting red meat and have a dairy allergy) It's even more offensive because I really have no control over my inability to eat these things.

    They'll act so disgusted when I eat something healthy and say that it looks gross, as they look up from a giant bloody steak. My mother also refuses to touch tofu or soymilk so if she's making dinner that night then I'm royally screwed and have to fend for myself. I cook dinner for them almost every night because I'm my grandfathers full time caregiver and they always glare at me when I don't eat what I've prepared for them.

    I honestly think that our families aren't trying to be rude, but they don't really understand if they haven't had to struggle as we are. In my parents and grandfathers case I think it's simply them being too old to understand that healthy doesn't mean disgusting.

    I try to explain to them that I don't think less of them for eating the way they do and I hope they don't think less of me. Usually this shuts them up for a few days. I hope it works for you ;{ <3
  • tdolphin1
    tdolphin1 Posts: 26
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    I know how you're feeling. Just know that you are doing what is right for you, that will make you feel better, be healthier & stronger...that's what is important. They're just jealous and are trying to take it out on you, don't let them...just let it roll off. Who knows you might inspire them along the way....but the important thing is not to give up, listen to yourself & what you want. Keep up the great work girl!!
  • hartsmart
    hartsmart Posts: 141 Member
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    my father was like that when i was younger...even though he once offered me $200 for a new wardrobe if i lost weight.
    my mother was always up and down with her weight, often using whatever the new fad was.
    i never did anything about it when i was younger, and now i look back and wish i had just taken care of myself when i was younger.
    take control now...ignore the rudeness. i don't know why, but some times people just like push buttons. if you don't let it bother you, chances are they'll give up. maybe even come around and be supportive?!

    good luck. you're off to a good start with this website full of supportive people!
  • wmjrigo
    wmjrigo Posts: 69 Member
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    I've had that too from my wife and family. Finally my wife told me it was because it made her feel guilty. Now she is losing weight with me! Just hang in there and do what you know is right.
  • jsteras
    jsteras Posts: 344 Member
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    I think everyone must have family like that. LOL. I told my sister who lives next door to me that I was eating healthy and exercising and 1/2 hour later she shows up at my door with lunch cakes. I told her to keep them I don't want them, she insisted so I offered her a fiber one bar. I told her to take them or I was throwing them in the trash she said "oh they won't hurt you". Well I probably made her mad but I threw them in the trash!!
  • alexbowser
    alexbowser Posts: 322
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    I'll only be living with them for another 3 months (moving to pittsburgh for school), so it shouldn't be too hard.

    I bought some soymilk once and my dad acted like it was a huge political statement, soymilk just tastes good. It'll be nice to be on my own soon and buy the groceries I like.
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    they'll be alright - let them b!tch away and you go on with your new lifestyle - doesn't matter what they think! you are doing the right thing, so keep your chin up!

    and congrats on that walk - that's a good 'un! :flowerforyou:
  • Aetarac
    Aetarac Posts: 135 Member
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    My family was the same way. I think it has to do with them feeling that you are rejecting them and their choices. Often food is what bonds people together and you are choosing to eat different, and they may feel also to be different. Just know (and let them know) you are doing this for you and your health. As others have said be come here to be with people facing same struggles.
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    Sometimes when people change their life for the better, it inadvertendly holds a mirror up to others that they are not ready to look into. Sometimes it's pure and simple jealousy.

    It's not your fault. It's their problem not yours. Such a shame they behave to childishly rather than support you.

    You'll need to find your support elsewhere, but keep doing what you're doing.

    Sounds like you've done enough to appease them... now it's your turn!

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