Pick up lines
binary_jester
Posts: 3,311 Member
There was a post asking what was the worst you heard...couldn't find it, but theses had me rollin'. Notice they says rude and crude...so if you offend easily...click "back"
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
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Replies
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Oh Binary_Jester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You always crack me up! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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hahaa 37....i'm gonna use that on my boyfriend. gotta keep it fresh youknowwhati'msayinnn0
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I have been doing it all wrong it seems.
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27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
See, now I think this one is great.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: That just made my day even better, too funny!!!!0
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Add this one - "Are you gonna be walking to your car alone later?" lol...those are good ones though!0
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Or the one where the guy throws some ice on the floor and stamps on it, following with "Now i've broken the ice, can i buy you a drink?"0
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best one ever done to me.......... a girl came up and licked my face and said " if your lucky that will be your C..k later"
needles to say i tripped over my tongue following her around all night0 -
and...0
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Just as a PSA...most of theses line should be prefaced with, "Soooo...do you carry pepper spray?"0
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LOL too funny!! thanks for the laugh :laugh: :laugh:0
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oh i do like your posts, always controversial but very funny.
worst one i heard?
do you like chocolate? then drop your snickers and i'll give you a boost (uk chocolate bars, not sure if you have them across the pond)0 -
Nope...don't have Boost...but that's funny.oh i do like your posts, always controversial but very funny.
worst one i heard?
do you like chocolate? then drop your snickers and i'll give you a boost (uk chocolate bars, not sure if you have them across the pond)0 -
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
these literally made me LOL!!!0 -
Should i be worried that ive had numbers- 2,13,15,23,24 used on me??
Think im going to the wrong places :laugh:0 -
he took me home! J/Kand...0 -
I shall use these next time I am out on the pull!
(which is never!)0 -
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....ummm I wanna get in your pants.... Nah, no thanks, I have one a##hole in there already...says the waitress....hahaha This really happened. I dyed laughin'....0
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Or the one where the guy throws some ice on the floor and stamps on it, following with "Now i've broken the ice, can i buy you a drink?"
That would totally work on me.0 -
:laugh: I needed that!0
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heading to the clubs tonight to see how they work. be back with my progress later0
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"Got change for a Fifty?"0
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:smokin:0
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My favorite one that worked on me was... You're so hot, you must need a drink to cool down. :drinker:0
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Or as they say out here: "Get in the truck"
Ted0 -
I try pick up lines on my wife, but she usually respond with a "SHUT UP BOY!" Good thing I'm no longer single, because I would be in trouble.0
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These were great. Makes me wonder who actually uses them but fun to read. One I was surprised to see wasn't on there:
Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from heaven, did it hurt?
I just learned a new one too lmao
Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.0 -
Besides the one mikeyml listed as surprised not on that list. Here's another i was surprised not to see or something like it.
Guy: Wow look at you! Aren't you a perfect blend of races. Do you have a little Italian in you? You look like you might?
Girl: No I dont think so?
Guy: Well do you want some?
or
Girl: Actually I do.
Guy: You want some more?0 -
best one I ever heard was not a one liner. It was a story about how he had a heart condition and sometimes his heart stops beating..and he followed it with and the only thing that starts it is a kiss from a pretty girl. Ashamed to say he got that kiss!0
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