Feeling a little down

DjBliss05 · November 2008

So, 17 pounds so far. Twelve of them have come off in the last 6 weeks.

I should be thrilled, right?

I'm really not. I feel frustrated that I ever got to where I was (my highest was 267) and even more frustrated that I still feel so fat where I am now. I think I feel even more fat now than I did 50lbs ago because I am paying attention more now.

I am so mad that the spare tire around my waist refuses to shrink. Pants fall off of me but because the weight won't come off my middle, I can't fit into a smaller size. I tried to cheer myself up today by trying to fit into a 16 and it made me miserable. I wasn't even close. How much do I have to lose before I can feel beautiful?

On top of that, people started noticing. It made me realize how bad I need to hear some positive reinforcement. I certainly am not good at making myself feel better right now. Then today, someone at work... you know, that person that you feel like you have to compete with in the office... decided to tell me that she weighs 130lbs and would be able to gain weight without looking.... and she stopped there. Without looking like me? Lovely...

I want to have hope and keep working, but I'm feeling really bad right now. I feel like this process is bringing up so much pain. It took years to get this way and years to stay that way. All those years were filled with pain b/c I couldn't love myself enough. Now I am trying to do what I have to do to keep from being in more pain in the future, but it kind of means confronting the past. This just isn't easy. :brokenheart:

DjBliss05 · November 2008

So, 17 pounds so far. Twelve of them have come off in the last 6 weeks.

I should be thrilled, right?

I'm really not. I feel frustrated that I ever got to where I was (my highest was 267) and even more frustrated that I still feel so fat where I am now. I think I feel even more fat now than I did 50lbs ago because I am paying attention more now.

I am so mad that the spare tire around my waist refuses to shrink. Pants fall off of me but because the weight won't come off my middle, I can't fit into a smaller size. I tried to cheer myself up today by trying to fit into a 16 and it made me miserable. I wasn't even close. How much do I have to lose before I can feel beautiful?

On top of that, people started noticing. It made me realize how bad I need to hear some positive reinforcement. I certainly am not good at making myself feel better right now. Then today, someone at work... you know, that person that you feel like you have to compete with in the office... decided to tell me that she weighs 130lbs and would be able to gain weight without looking.... and she stopped there. Without looking like me? Lovely...

I want to have hope and keep working, but I'm feeling really bad right now. I feel like this process is bringing up so much pain. It took years to get this way and years to stay that way. All those years were filled with pain b/c I couldn't love myself enough. Now I am trying to do what I have to do to keep from being in more pain in the future, but it kind of means confronting the past. This just isn't easy. :brokenheart:

bnlmembercb · November 2008

you are in a better place than you realize. acknowledging that the process of gaining weight took years also means you realize that losing it will not be a fast process.

First, the way you are feeling should not and cannot be minimalized.

Keep in mind:
Think about how many years you have added to your life already by the changes you have made! In 10 years from now, the pants size you wore today on your way to a much slimmer you won't matter much.

LifeChanges42 · November 2008

Try to think of it in a different light. Don't think of trying to feel beautiful... think about the fact that you are doing something that will literally save your life.
I am a size 14 and I am 32 years old. I have 3 kids. A few weeks ago, I was lying on the bathroom floor unable to move the left side of my body. I called for my husband and he called an ambulance. My blood pressure was 191/128. My doctor had me do a bunch of tests and I appear to be okay on paper, but I am scared to death that I am going to die. My blood pressure is high because of heredity, but it is really high because I am 60 lbs overweight. My body does seems to have a magic number that if I can get below it, my body seems to regulate my blood pressure on its own without medicine. I have not lost a pound in 3 years. So I know I have my work cut out for me with diet and exercise. I need to get healthy. I need to learn how to eat healthier.... no more junk food for me. No more added salt, no more pop.... I can go on and on.
Next time your 130 lb co-worker opens her trap just say I was there once... now I am here, but I am learning how to be healthy and I WILL get there even if it takes 10 years and a few times of falling down and skinning my knees. I WILL be stronger than you for overcoming my issues and working at them diligently.
Just think of the comments you'll get when you're down to your desired weight. You'll have to show photos to prove you were heavy.

Keep your chin up!!!!!!!!!!

newhotMelissa · November 2008

Today is my first day. Maybe it is too soon for me to say this,but you are doing a great job. We too easily tend to be our own worst critics. Just remember that when you get to your goal weight there is still going to be someone you think you have to compare yourself to, whether it's weight or their hair or whatever. Be proud of yourself. These things take time. Eventually you will realize how great you are and you wont be comparing yourself so much. This is hard....what you have accomplished so far is amazing.

beckybubbles · November 2008

you are walking down a hard road, but you are DOING it! Take pride in what you have accomplished so far. I know what you mean by, "how much do you have to lose to feel beautiful"? Even though I weigh less than you do, I have the same thoughts too. The middle is the hardest part to lose I think, along with the thighs, but know that if I keep doing what I am doing I will eventually get "there". Wherever that place may be in your mind. At some point you are going to be so proud of yourself for making yourself a priority and taking pride in who you are by keeping yourself healthy with diet and exercise, that its not going to be a size anymore that makes you feel beautiful, you will feel that way b/c of the person you have become in the process of the journey of weight loss. This is something i need to remind myself of often. I need to remember to not compare myself and accept myself for how God made me and know that I am what i am and all i can do is make sure that I am taking care of what has been given. As for the annoying chick in your office, we all of have those people too. Kill her with kindness and know that you are actually in a better place than she is, even if she is the coveted 130 pounds, because you don't need to put someone else down to make yourself feel better. Keep pressing on, you are worth it!

MollySue30 · November 2008

Sweetie,

I think that we have all been there at one point or another. I have totally been there, I am to the point right now even tonight that i was ready to give up and just start eating like I had been before. it just upsets me that I can't eat the way I use too. I then thought wait look how far I have already been even with losing only 10 pounds right now.

I have been working out roughly 3-4 days a week and have been doing alot of cadio and it seems to be helping me firm up my legs. I have been doing side bends with 15 pound weights and doing side bends. I have noticed that my love handles are slowly disappering. oh sorry bad spelling,

I have struggled all my life with my weight. I have two little girls and I have been struggling for the last 5 years right now trying to get it off. I will do really good for a while and then when the weight wouldn't come off fast enough then I would just give up. I have had many of nights that I would just cry and wonder why does this have to happen to me. I just finally got in my mind that I needed to do something with my life when my health took a big down turn this year. I had found out that I was pregnant in Feb. 14th and then went to the doctor the next day to find out how far along I was and did the ultrasound to find out that they baby had passed. I just cried and said why it was something that I did. I put on almost 20 pounds from the depression. I should be happy that have to pretty girls but wanted so much to have another one. After my surgery, my health went down fast. I have been to doctor after doctor and alot of medical bills. I have been trying to get my life back in order.

I just hope that you will stay with this program, you have come so far and I will be there for a friend if you need someone to talk to. I hope that you think that it is a totally life change and it is going to take some time to get things set and we will get you through this.

Have a great night.
:flowerforyou:

sweetpea03b · November 2008

I totally agree with beckybubbles on this one. First of all remember... we all have our own self-esteem issues. Even people who are thin have their own issues and may not feel beautiful all the time. Even people half your size may have the same thoughts. Like me... I have been overweight my whole life. In high school I hated myself and actually had people walk behind me and moo. I was thinner then than I am now. Now I think... if only I could be that thin again. Funny, its it? How you can appreciate something now that you didn't then. It is hard. I get in ruts and feel like giving up... sit down and cry for exhaustion on counting calories and working out so much. I go through spells where I don't even want to be close to my husband because I feel fat and ugly. We have all gone through it. That's why we're here... to help you get over this hump and keep on!

You think... how on earth did I get this far gone? But it didn't happen overnight... and neither is losing it... the right way. Some people take the "miracle pill" or whatever and lose it like 1-2-3... but they will gain it all back! You are doing this the right way! The healthy way! We are here for you! Take it one day at a time... one meal at a time. Join my 6lb holiday challenge and reward yourself for your hard work!

DjBliss05 · November 2008

Thanks everybody.

I am hoping a good nights rest will help me feel better!

I really appreciate all the responses. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one that has to go through the icky feelings.

:flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick · November 2008

:flowerforyou: I'm sorry you're feelin down and having a tough time Hon. Bout all I can do is offer a hug....I think sometimes there's things we just have to move through and then out the other side.

Learning to love ourselves is a very tough thing to do....it's a simple process, but it's not easy if it's not something you grew up learning in your house of orgin.

One thing I realized about 6 monthes back is I needed to catch my head up with my body's changing ways. I think if we can continually do that we will succeed and keep the weight off and realize we ARE worth it. No matter what weight it' so important that we learn to accept ourselves right now, exactly as we are today.

Doesn't mean we don't continue on with our goals, simple means...we accept we're not perfect, that we are human and that some days we'll make better choices than others. But to keep our self respect at all times, I see that as vital to our journeys.

It's currently what I'm working on....and lately Hon, it's not been the easiest but my life is compirised of only positive folks (ok, ohter than public places where I have no control..lol) life's simply to short to keep anyone else around.:flowerforyou:

Would it help to pamper yourself a bit tonight...even if you are angry at yourself...you deserve nice things...your body has been working sooo hard to get healthy. How about a nice bubble bath before you head to bed, paint your toe nails...ya know that girly pampering stuff we sometimes forget to indulge in.

Feeling a little down

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