STRESS!!!!!

annie_p · April 2011

I know "they" say stress is one of the hardest hurdles to weight loss. But what if you can't get rid of the stress? There is honestly NOTHING I can do. I work in a group home with 3 older gentlemen(soon to be a 4th woman with high medical needs). I'm the direct supervisor, overseeing and working with 7(soon to be 11-13) people with completely different personalities. On top of that, my supervisor(not my direct supervisor but one above) HATES me. She just took over my home less than a week ago, and has already confronted my supervisor about my "attitude". Some years ago, I pissed her off somehow...and she wanted me fired then. My direct supervisor at the time talked to the higher-ups and I was allowed to stick around. I still have NO idea what exactly happened, or how close I actually came to being fired...but point now...she's in a higher position and could easily cost me my job. Problem number two; our house nurse seems to think I copped an attitude with her! I don't recall this attitude, nore do I have the slightest idea what she is thinking about. It was supposedly over some dental appointment, and the only thing I can remember is asking her if she had gotten anything figured out yet. Usually, it's the nurses job to schedule NEW doctors, especially when a client needs to be sedated. I don't have that kind of qualification. UGH

Then there's the usual...money, in-laws, baby, sick grandparents...ya' know...day to day stuff. So how in the heck am I supposed to lose weight to my full potential when I carry so much stress around with me on a day to day basis???

Steph70508 · April 2011

Without going into all the detail, I have gone through an EXTREME amount of stressful events in my personal life over the last 3 years. I found that focusing on my diet and losing weight actually helped with it. To this day, the gym is my xanax! I take it all to the gym and leave it there.

dominioniwoman · April 2011

I have a lot of stress too and it is hard for me to lose weight. I just keep working out and trying to eat well so that way it at least I don't have that added to my stress levels.

I agree that you need to set aside me time and try to ignore the people who are negative

TNAJackson · April 2011

Is there any way you could possibly transfer to another location or another position within your company so you are not in direct contact with those people at work?

When I get really stressed out, I try (doesn't always happen) to go work out... I find I work out harder when I'm pissed. It also relieves more stress in a more positive way. Although I do have to admit, sometimes it doesn't work and I end up stress eating.

ReneeOfTheFae · April 2011

Two (maybe three) things I could suggest.

1.) Is it at all possible to leave your job? Could you find a job elsewhere?

[(2.) If no. 1 isn't possible, your company must have some form of HR. Most HR departments have a mediator. If you were able to set up one or more mediation sessions through your HR department, it is very likely that the problem might get fixed.]

3.) Meditate. Can you find time, even if it's only five minutes, each day to sit quietly and concentrate on your breathing? You can always work up to more time if you need. If that doesn't work, I know that I am able to clear my mind and breathe deeply when I am putting on lotion after my shower. Added bonus to that, the more you massage your cellulite areas, the more you push it back into place and that less you see of the "cottage cheese" look. So many reasons to do it!

On a side note, please don't take this the wrong way, but is it possible that you *did* cop an attitude as a result of stress and your body going through the steps it takes to lose weight, but weren't aware of it? I know that I get really fussy (a much nicer word for it, in my case) when I'm hungry or tired.

I don't know if this has helped, but I hope everything is ironed out sooner rather than later.

Best of luck!

concordancia · April 2011

The things you mentioned are stressors, not stress itself. Stress is your reaction.

You cannot change any of the things on your list, but you can change yourself and how you react to them. Cardio workouts, yoga routines and meditation have all been shown to help how our bodies deal with stress. Yoga especially, since it combines exercise with meditation.

WolffEarl · April 2011

I am certainly NO expert on stress relief but let me make a few observations. First of all there are some areas of your life that you have less (or little) control over. Whether your supervisor hates or loves you or the nurse is having some concerns/admiration regarding your attitude is largely out of your hands. (I assume you tried talking to either one to figure out what is going on, unless that is too uncomfortable). So, basically it is pointless to worry about that. (As they say: It is not your monkey (i.e. problem).
The health of your grandparents, children getting sick, etc. once again are only in small part under your control. Here I would remember that "This too shall pass". Especially in moments of hi tension this comes in handy. Sounds like you ahve very little time for yourself. Especially as a caregiver (my wife is a nurse) it is so common to think about everyone else long before ever thinking about yourself. You might have to learn how to say no sometimes.
However, let as consider the alternative to better eating or looking out for yourself. So you are stressed. Out comes the pizza, icecream, candy bar, cheeseburger, mac and cheese, cookie jar, french fries, beer, triple decker chocolate cake with extra icing on top. Stress relief felt? Yes but very fleeting, requiring more feeding shortly/daily. etc. Fast forward a few years. Feeling heavy, getting bigger, more difficult to move, more stress from having trouble coping with physical demands of job and running a household, looking after parents, feeling less capable, job performance suffering.. etc. you get the picture.
Now consider instead the opposite. In spite of stress you do not grab the comfort food. Instead you say to yourself. " I am really stressed, so my body needs extra help to deal with it. I need to treat it with respect and give it good food, extra vitamins (esp. VItamin B I am told for antistress), need to feed my body with healthy foods so I will not get sick and even more stressed. MY body and I deserve the best, not the junk I have been tricked into thinking is what I need. And then soon you will realize how much extra fruit, vegetables, unprocessed grains, lean meats you can eat and still lose weight and feel more energetic, more optimistic. THat is under your control, do not let your body be your master, be the master of your body. THat part of your life YOU are in control of.
Opps that went on much longer than I thought. Best I stop now>

annie_p · April 2011

Is there any way you could possibly transfer to another location or another position within your company so you are not in direct contact with those people at work?

When I get really stressed out, I try (doesn't always happen) to go work out... I find I work out harder when I'm pissed. It also relieves more stress in a more positive way. Although I do have to admit, sometimes it doesn't work and I end up stress eating.

I could only transfer if I wanted to take a huge cut in pay. Which would cause more stress. And I'm actually not in direct contact with them. I see the nurse less than once a week and see the other gal even less than that. That's the good part. It's just stressful mostly because I'm a people pleaser, and having people mad at me for no reason I can find kills me.

annie_p · April 2011

Two (maybe three) things I could suggest.

1.) Is it at all possible to leave your job? Could you find a job elsewhere?

[(2.) If no. 1 isn't possible, your company must have some form of HR. Most HR departments have a mediator. If you were able to set up one or more mediation sessions through your HR department, it is very likely that the problem might get fixed.]

3.) Meditate. Can you find time, even if it's only five minutes, each day to sit quietly and concentrate on your breathing? You can always work up to more time if you need. If that doesn't work, I know that I am able to clear my mind and breathe deeply when I am putting on lotion after my shower. Added bonus to that, the more you massage your cellulite areas, the more you push it back into place and that less you see of the "cottage cheese" look. So many reasons to do it!

On a side note, please don't take this the wrong way, but is it possible that you *did* cop an attitude as a result of stress and your body going through the steps it takes to lose weight, but weren't aware of it? I know that I get really fussy (a much nicer word for it, in my case) when I'm hungry or tired.

I don't know if this has helped, but I hope everything is ironed out sooner rather than later.

Best of luck!

I am currently trying to find a new job, but until then...I'm stuck. And I've been trying to find a new job for the last few years. I've been with the company for 5 1/2 years and have been trying to get out for 3...that's how crappy the job situation is here. Especially with no degree to speak of. I'm lucky to have the job I have. Our region is a small fraction of a larger state wide company which is also a fraction of a HUGE nation wide company. I have 4 people directly above me that can decide my future with the company, and one of them hates me. Two love me and the third only recently met me. So it's kind of a messy situation. I do try to find me time, but it is so hard. And as for copping an attitude...I really don't know. I'm trying to think of when we discussed the matter in question, and what I may have said that could've been taken the wrong way.

tigercrazy · April 2011

So sorry to hear all of that about your job. I recently was put on medical leave because of my job. First it was for 3 wks, then the doc added a month, now it's for the remainder of the year (work in a school)..'nuff said

Stress is a killer. I agree with others that you NEED to make time for yourself, no matter what! Along with all of the stress I also pushed God aside. If you have Him, KEEP Him in your life.. front and center. I hope somehow, that you can get away from those people who are causing this to your health. I'll keep you in my prayers. Maybe you can put a picture of your kids (if you have them) or someone that really means alot to you, right on your 'fridge to help give you encouragement and just that little reminder that you are better than that food you are about to grab that's not good for you! Good Luck!!!!!:flowerforyou:

annie_p · April 2011

I am certainly NO expert on stress relief but let me make a few observations. First of all there are some areas of your life that you have less (or little) control over. Whether your supervisor hates or loves you or the nurse is having some concerns/admiration regarding your attitude is largely out of your hands. (I assume you tried talking to either one to figure out what is going on, unless that is too uncomfortable). So, basically it is pointless to worry about that. (As they say: It is not your monkey (i.e. problem).
The health of your grandparents, children getting sick, etc. once again are only in small part under your control. Here I would remember that "This too shall pass". Especially in moments of hi tension this comes in handy. Sounds like you ahve very little time for yourself. Especially as a caregiver (my wife is a nurse) it is so common to think about everyone else long before ever thinking about yourself. You might have to learn how to say no sometimes.
However, let as consider the alternative to better eating or looking out for yourself. So you are stressed. Out comes the pizza, icecream, candy bar, cheeseburger, mac and cheese, cookie jar, french fries, beer, triple decker chocolate cake with extra icing on top. Stress relief felt? Yes but very fleeting, requiring more feeding shortly/daily. etc. Fast forward a few years. Feeling heavy, getting bigger, more difficult to move, more stress from having trouble coping with physical demands of job and running a household, looking after parents, feeling less capable, job performance suffering.. etc. you get the picture.
Now consider instead the opposite. In spite of stress you do not grab the comfort food. Instead you say to yourself. " I am really stressed, so my body needs extra help to deal with it. I need to treat it with respect and give it good food, extra vitamins (esp. VItamin B I am told for antistress), need to feed my body with healthy foods so I will not get sick and even more stressed. MY body and I deserve the best, not the junk I have been tricked into thinking is what I need. And then soon you will realize how much extra fruit, vegetables, unprocessed grains, lean meats you can eat and still lose weight and feel more energetic, more optimistic. THat is under your control, do not let your body be your master, be the master of your body. THat part of your life YOU are in control of.
Opps that went on much longer than I thought. Best I stop now>

I know there are a lot of things I have no control over, and I do accept that. The major issue though, is that a lot of things also rest in my hands. If things don't go a certain way, I'm the first person to be blamed, and as I'm sure your wife can tell you, working with peoples lives, you can't make mistakes. Very frustrating.

Luckily, I'm not a stress eater. On the contrary, I tend to eat a lot less when I'm stressed. I've been working on that, and have been very good as far as keeping within my calorie range.

STRESS!!!!!

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