I feel like I look SO much bigger than other women my age, h

Options
jhutton_ch
jhutton_ch Posts: 12
in Success Stories
Age: 22
Height: 5’8.5”
HW: 160 lbs
SW: 140 lbs
CW: 133 lbs
GW: 125 lbs

I would like to preface this post by saying I do not have an eating disorder. My sister was anorexic when she was a teenager and has been struggling with an eating disorder since. Ever since I began losing weight, many friends and family members have said “You’re not anorexic, are you?”, instead of celebrating my success with me. Let me just say, it’s quite annoying. I understand they are just concerned, but when I have been working my butt of at the gym and eating well, the last thing I want to hear is that I have developed an eating disorder. I have a healthy BMI and plan on keeping it that way.

Now that that’s out of the way... I can’t help but feel discouraged when I look at pictures of other women who have a similar build and weight and feel I look nothing like them. I understand that everyone’s body is different, but when someone my height looks ten times better than me when they are 20 lbs heavier, I must be doing something wrong. My boyfriend says I am crazy and that I look great, but he is too sweet and has said that since I met him two years ago and was a lot heavier. When we go out in public, he tries to find women who have a similar shape as I do so I can see what they look like. I always think they look way better than I do. Thoughts like “No way my thighs are that small!” and “Like I could fit into those clothes!” run through my head.

So, I ask everyone in the myfitnesspal community to please tell me how heavy I look in pictures, and what areas of my body could use some toning. I know this all must sound incredibly self-absorbed, and for that I truly apologize. I just want to be proud of my body and the hard work it took to get there, but I can’t seem to get over my negative self-image. At the same time, however, please don’t say positive things just to make me feel better. I want the truth, and I thank you so much in advance if you give it to me!


k1s7j5.jpg

2vdp3l3.jpg
«13

Replies

  • 143sunflower
    143sunflower Posts: 56
    Options
    I think you look great!! If you want muscle tone...do weight training....:wink:
  • princesslmc2
    princesslmc2 Posts: 264 Member
    Options
    Thanks for sharing!! The mind can be a wondrous or an evil thing. I too am 5'8" and would LOVE to look as amazing as you do. My goal is to be 160 pounds... and I fear I still won't look as good as you even at that. Then again, I have knobby knees. LOL.

    But seriously. You have an amazing figure and you look so toned!! In a word - you are beautiful!

    Now all of that being TRUTHFULLY said... If you want more toning, I too suggest strength training. A friend of mine recently had gotten to her goal weight, then started the ChaLEAN Extreme program (which I am currently on Round #2 completing) and she lost an addition 10 pounds - and her muscles look amazing (not too buff... just gorgeous). The key with that program was lifting heavy to the point of failure to push your muscles....
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
    Options
    Oh my word, you are almost 5-9, you weigh 133 pounds and you have CURVES in all the right places! I think you are fantabulously lucky, and probably other women are looking at you and envying you. Maybe the curves are throwing you; you probably do have to wear different styles than someone who is built like a boy. But this is not a bad thing! Think of the styles they could never pull off that you can really wear!

    If I were you, I might invest in a day with a really good clothing person who can show you what styles will flatter your curves. That might make a real difference for you.

    Best wishes to you!
  • farmerswife87
    farmerswife87 Posts: 72
    Options
    Girl, this post breaks my heart. I am soooo jealous of your waist line, and you're very slim. It breaks my heart that you don't see that. I'm 5'4", and my CW is 143lbs, my goal is 135 lbs. So give yourself a break!

    Confidence is sexy, strut it up lady!!
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    Options
    You look amazing girl! That voice in your head is wrong! Listen to your man, he sounds like a good one! ;)
  • musicgirl88
    musicgirl88 Posts: 504 Member
    Options
    Girl, I am 5'7" and I would KILL for your body!! Look at your posture and amazing curves, and the fact that your thighs don't touch when you stand!! I can not wait to get to that point. I beleive one of the things that you are seeing in others that you aren't seeing in yourself is confidence. The reason you believe those girls look better is because they are more confident in how they look. You will get there!! You just need to stop comparing yourself to the others and you're already half way there by knowing that everone's body has a different build. I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others, and I think that is natural, but don't let it affect your health and confidence. You do look AMAZING. Your body is toned and curved in all the right places. All you need to do is some self-reflecting and ask yourself why you aren't as confident as all those other girls. I'm sure you will see how beautiful you look!
  • tinkerbell1964
    tinkerbell1964 Posts: 152
    Options
    I had a figure like that when i was your age and i was 5 inches shorter than you , you must be a size 8 or 10 ........... I would say you have a gorgeous figure that any one of us would be proud of, i don't think you need to lose any weight as you don't look heavy or over weight, don't compare yourself to other women , just be happy with the way you are, BTW i'm trying to get down to that goal weight myself , stuck at 133 lbs , but seeing as you've managed to get there and you look amazing you've inspired me to lose that last 7lbs
  • MeredithLee11
    MeredithLee11 Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    You look great, and congrats on your almost 30-pound weight loss! You should be VERY proud of yourself! (I'm not just saying that to be nice. You've worked hard and you're beautiful!)

    What areas do you already do strength training in? IMO, everyone should strength train their entire bodies, not just specific areas.
  • steve1126
    steve1126 Posts: 22
    Options
    You look terrific !!! Stop worrying and comparing yourself to others your age! If it helps, my 25 year old son thinks you're HOT!
  • strawn0830
    strawn0830 Posts: 10
    Options
    You are so young and you have a wonderful shape. Enjoy your youthful, toned skin and your success in losing weight. As you get older, you will realize that comparing yourself to anyone but you is not only unproductive, it's sabotage. It never gets better than what you have right now! Relax. Be proud of yourself. Confidence is much more appealing.
  • AngelicaDulas
    AngelicaDulas Posts: 196
    Options
    Honey, if you can't get through the negative view of yourself maybe you have a body dysmorphia issue mentally. you might consider seeing a psycologist who specializes in that kind of thing. I'm 5'9" and 1/2" and my lowest number is 155, might stop at 160!!! I couldn't imagine weighing only 133. I think that if you lose any more you will lose the great curves you do have going on. Believe your significant other!!! I know that has helped me with my self image, seeing me through the eyes of someone who loves me.
  • jlsAhava
    jlsAhava Posts: 411 Member
    Options
    It seems like your self image, rather than your body, needs some work. Unfortunately, no matter how perfect anyone else thinks you look, it probably won't convince you that you look great. That's an issue that needs to be worked on outside of the gym. While you may not have issues as extreme as anorexia, it does seem like your self-image is something that a counselor or therapist may be able to help you to improve.

    I really like the suggestion someone made about investing in a personal shopper or stylist for a day. They can help you find styles that best suit your figure.

    You're beautiful with great curves. Maybe you'd be happier with more muscle definition? You'll need to focus on strength training to help you with that. My fear is that no matter how good you look, you won't be pleased with the outcome.

    Take care of yourself!
  • jhutton_ch
    jhutton_ch Posts: 12
    Options
    I had a figure like that when i was your age and i was 5 inches shorter than you , you must be a size 8 or 10 ........... I would say you have a gorgeous figure that any one of us would be proud of, i don't think you need to lose any weight as you don't look heavy or over weight, don't compare yourself to other women , just be happy with the way you are, BTW i'm trying to get down to that goal weight myself , stuck at 133 lbs , but seeing as you've managed to get there and you look amazing you've inspired me to lose that last 7lbs

    I know that I really shouldn't compare myself to other women, but I do :) I'm so happy that you have been inspired and I wish you the best of luck losing those last few pounds!!!
  • ace175
    ace175 Posts: 518 Member
    Options
    I think you look GREAT!!! I'd LOVE for my body to look like yours! Haha
  • jhutton_ch
    jhutton_ch Posts: 12
    Options
    You look terrific !!! Stop worrying and comparing yourself to others your age! If it helps, my 25 year old son thinks you're HOT!

    Well that's always nice to hear :) Thank you so much for commenting!
  • jhutton_ch
    jhutton_ch Posts: 12
    Options
    It seems like your self image, rather than your body, needs some work. Unfortunately, no matter how perfect anyone else thinks you look, it probably won't convince you that you look great. That's an issue that needs to be worked on outside of the gym. While you may not have issues as extreme as anorexia, it does seem like your self-image is something that a counselor or therapist may be able to help you to improve.

    I really like the suggestion someone made about investing in a personal shopper or stylist for a day. They can help you find styles that best suit your figure.

    You're beautiful with great curves. Maybe you'd be happier with more muscle definition? You'll need to focus on strength training to help you with that. My fear is that no matter how good you look, you won't be pleased with the outcome.

    Take care of yourself!

    I hope that's not true. I hope one day I will love the way I look. Like I said to someone else, this is my form of therapy. This is the first time I have gotten advice and feedback from people who do not know me personally. But yes, if my negative self-image persists, I do think I would need to talk to a professional. And I would love to have a stylist for a day! But paying for graduate school doesn't leave much money to spend on proper clothes! Thank you for your post :)
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    Options
    You probably don't have an eating disorder, but you might want to look up body dysmorphic disorder. And I mean that sincerely. I can tell you the truth, how stunning your body is from head to toe, in my opinion, but it doesn't matter as it's what *you* see in the mirror. I'd consider getting some sort of counseling in order to understand why you're dissatisfied with your body. If you feel counseling is out of the question, don't focus on losing weight, but work out more. That might change your body in a way that would be satisfying to yourself.

    Good luck girly.
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
    Options
    And I would love to have a stylist for a day! But paying for graduate school doesn't leave much money to spend on proper clothes! Thank you for your post :)

    You could ask as a birthday or Christmas present.
  • jlsAhava
    jlsAhava Posts: 411 Member
    Options
    It seems like your self image, rather than your body, needs some work. Unfortunately, no matter how perfect anyone else thinks you look, it probably won't convince you that you look great. That's an issue that needs to be worked on outside of the gym. While you may not have issues as extreme as anorexia, it does seem like your self-image is something that a counselor or therapist may be able to help you to improve.

    I really like the suggestion someone made about investing in a personal shopper or stylist for a day. They can help you find styles that best suit your figure.

    You're beautiful with great curves. Maybe you'd be happier with more muscle definition? You'll need to focus on strength training to help you with that. My fear is that no matter how good you look, you won't be pleased with the outcome.

    Take care of yourself!

    I hope that's not true. I hope one day I will love the way I look. Like I said to someone else, this is my form of therapy. This is the first time I have gotten advice and feedback from people who do not know me personally. But yes, if my negative self-image persists, I do think I would need to talk to a professional. And I would love to have a stylist for a day! But paying for graduate school doesn't leave much money to spend on proper clothes! Thank you for your post :)

    Getting advice here is a step in the right direction, but remember that we aren't certified therapists (most of us, anyway). Run far and fast from anyone who tries to diagnose and treat you through the forum. While you're in grad school it may actually be the PERFECT time to start seeing a therapist. I know when I was in grad school, some of the local hospitals had sliding scale that provided significantly reduced session costs. Also grad school (and the period immediately following) is a time of big stress - so it may be helpful just to spend some time hashing out your life with an objective (and trained) listener.

    I also think you're better off going to a therapist sooner rather than later. The longer you hold onto this negative self-image, the more ingrained it will become, and the harder it will be for you to change it. You're beautiful, it's time for you to appreciate it :)
  • VStar55
    VStar55 Posts: 75
    Options
    The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. Right now it's possible that someone will see your pictures and start to negatively compare themselves to you. It's a no win situation. There are all sorts of shapes and sizes in this world, yours is yours alone. If you have a healthy BMI , eat right and exercise and you still pick on yourself, it's time to do some mental work. Practice working on the mental chatter, when it starts up close your eyes and breathe and tell yourself, " Nope, no more negativity. I'm not going to play that game anymore." I know it sounds kind of corny, but that's because you're not used to looking at yourself in a positive light.

    Love yourself, be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.

Categories

Do you Love MyFitnessPal? Have you crushed a goal or improved your life through better nutrition using MyFitnessPal?
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!