Motivating a friend to lose weight

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kdanderson05
kdanderson05 Posts: 147
in Health and Weight Loss
Okay now that I am no saint when it comes to staying motivated and losing weight, but I do know that I am trying and I will beat this as the time goes on. Anyways I have this friend that is overweight, and it's very hard to see her in the condition that she is in. I just don't know how to help her understand that she needs to lose weight before it gets too late. Her way of thinking is that if it is a juice it is healthy since it is a fruit kind, or a prepackaged smoothie powder mix is healthy since it is a smoothie, or other various things like that. She is also very much like me in the sense that if someone around her is eating, she has to eat too, and she could have just ate 30mins ago too. I feel really bad because I hate seeing her this way, and my husband keeps on telling me I can't change her and she has to want to change, but I want to try to help her before it is too late. So, how do you help someone who is overweight but still doesn't see themselves that way? Please I need advice on dealing with this and trying to help her with this, but I am just at a loss.

Replies

  • kdanderson05
    kdanderson05 Posts: 147
    Options
    Okay now that I am no saint when it comes to staying motivated and losing weight, but I do know that I am trying and I will beat this as the time goes on. Anyways I have this friend that is overweight, and it's very hard to see her in the condition that she is in. I just don't know how to help her understand that she needs to lose weight before it gets too late. Her way of thinking is that if it is a juice it is healthy since it is a fruit kind, or a prepackaged smoothie powder mix is healthy since it is a smoothie, or other various things like that. She is also very much like me in the sense that if someone around her is eating, she has to eat too, and she could have just ate 30mins ago too. I feel really bad because I hate seeing her this way, and my husband keeps on telling me I can't change her and she has to want to change, but I want to try to help her before it is too late. So, how do you help someone who is overweight but still doesn't see themselves that way? Please I need advice on dealing with this and trying to help her with this, but I am just at a loss.
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
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    Unfortunatley I believe all you can really do is wait until she's ready and willing and be there for her when she is! You can however lead by example by showing her how you do it, giving encouragement, and little pushes in the right direction. This is a hard thing to do when your ready, so if she doesn't want it yet, just be there when she does!!
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    You're entering into a no-no zone. I know it's hard but you can't change how she feels about herself. Hopefully as she sees you losing weight she will feel inspired to ask you for some help, otherwise butt out if you'd like to keep her as a friend.
  • Losing_It
    Losing_It Posts: 3,271 Member
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    You're entering into a no-no zone. I know it's hard but you can't change how she feels about herself. Hopefully as she sees you losing weight she will feel inspired to ask you for some help, otherwise butt out if you'd like to keep her as a friend.

    Ditto! :flowerforyou:
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
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    What you *could* do....is stop going out to eat with her all the time (or pick lighter/healthier places). Try doing outings like window shopping, going to the zoo, etc that are more walking, verses places like the movies where you sit and eat! Also, if it's a group get-together bring a camera! Take pictures then e-mail them to her later...I swear it was one picture of me that made me want to change more than ever!
  • DjBliss05
    DjBliss05 Posts: 682
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    If you say anything to her, I feel like you would be risking the friendship. If she isn't ready to hear it, she won't anyway. It is a lose-lose (and losing weight is not part of that!).

    Be a role model. If she wants to go out for pizza, tell her that you really don't want pizza and suggest somewhere with better options. Invite her to go on walks if you want company. Just start losing weight! She will see the results and want to jump on the band wagon. Don't do it to try and change her. Do those things because you want to and are motivated to make your own changes. Eventually, she will come to you to ask for advice. Trust me when I say that she knows she is overweight. She knows all the pain that comes with it. She may also know that the food choices she makes are bad for her. You may not see it, but she has to have a pretty good idea.
  • kdanderson05
    kdanderson05 Posts: 147
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    everyone thank you for the advice I truly appreciate it.

    I would never ever suggest to her that she needs to do it. I will just be there for advice and guidance, but I refuse to enable her anymore either.:flowerforyou:

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