Why do people insist ...?

I think people are supporting you when they say its paying off... I appreciate the comments simply because when I look in teh mirror I don't see the progress.. when I stare at the numbers Im still not convinced... When someone compliments my efforts its then that I realize that "hey, maybe it really is paying off"

If people commented and told you to stop gaining weight, all hell would break loose...I k now I don't appreciate it.. and didn't appreciate it.

there is no happy medium, even tho both comments are out of love, kindess, and support.

I guess because it is a sore subject and it's so that we don't offend people.

I for one, wish someone would have took me aside and said, 'hey, I think you need to look at your weight'.

Saying that, we tell my sister, and it's no use, she gets in denile. She's 21yrs old and a size 24 but SQUEEZING into size 18 so therefore she thinks she's a size 18. No no no.

Your right, weigh loss is personal. Though, while it may be annoying for people to comment on weight loss. The main reason why people may not comment on weight gain is because they don't want to hurt you or offend you. Typically, when people gain weight its not on purpose, its a sign that the person is not putting their health as a priority, or that there may be deeper issues. Though, when someone loses weight, in most situation, its a conscious effort. Though, people may express their concern, because they don't want you engaging in unhealthy behaviors or trying to conform to societal pressure. People want you to be happy!

But more importantly you focus on you and what your goals are. Frankly, sometimes other people are jealous, so push the haters to the side

Be mindful of the source. It could be jealousy, it could be genuin concern, and it could simply be ignorance. Either way, calmly correct them. State your argument in favor of losing more (or however much) and do so calmly. When I tell people my target (which is middle ground for my age and height) I get the "That's way too much!" My gut reaction is to tell them to stuff it, it's my body. Thankfully, I simply state that according to the BMI chart that's much healthier than I am now, would you like to see? And direct them to a computer or a print out.

It's my experience that once I show them the cold hard facts they shut up. If I hear another peep, I threaten them with the charts again...once they see where they stand they start thinking they should lose weight too!

A few years back I lost most of my weight, I was sooo happy! Well, I had some things go wrong in my love life and started eating back the way I did before and it started coming right back. I went from 125, back up to 210 in a matter of months. I would give anything if someone had been like, um, kim, your getting fat again!!! or at least told me i should get on the scale and see what it says! i swear i knew i was gaining some, but never imagine it would come back like that. I just stopped caring, didn't step on a scale, and ate what i wanted...and here i am years later, trying to do it all over again. you better believe this time, i will be keeping a close check on my weight!

I am having this problem at my office. I started MFP when I got the job that I am currently at. They have watched me loose 40 lbs and they all know I go to the gym twice a day and I am serious about eating healthy. Now all of a sudden they are being quite mean about "you too skinny" - "you should eat something" - my manager constitaly brings "bad" food into the office and says,.. " oh are you going to eat some of this, that is right you won't" along with some other things. Truthfully it has made me more determined. I wonder if some of them are not a little jealous about the changes I have made in my life. I try and just let it go, stick to my guns. It really is none of her buisness. I don't understand why they feel like they really are entitled to an opion on my weight. It is MY weight not a group office weight...

*end of rant*

sorry i needed to get that out I guess

If people commented and told you to stop gaining weight, all hell would break loose...I k now I don't appreciate it.. and didn't appreciate it.

there is no happy medium, even tho both comments are out of love, kindess, and support.

LOL I think "All hell would break loose" sounds just about right for people commenting when someone is overweight. I mean most people are pretty defensive about their weight, especially when they've...let themselves go... Its one of those, I know I need to lose weight, and I feel bad enough as it is, I don't need you saying it too kind of things.

As for the comments about not losing to much weight, or the "you look think enough, I don't think you need to lose anymore"....I don't think those are because people are bitter. I think its just the overall shock value of your before and after appearance.

To be in my healthy weight, I will need to lose 120lbs. (33 I've lost so far, and haven't even dropped a pant size!)...but when someone asks me "How much are you trying to lose"...and my reply is "120", I just get this look of horror, I like they think I'm going to become anorexic. Because 120 is like a whole person.

And the same thing for people closer to your goal weight, 5 lbs becomes more noticeable. So each time you drop 5lbs here or there, you look significantly skinner. And people just aren't adjusted, and might feel like your taking it "to far"... you know?

That's just my 2 cents on the subject.

also, i would like to add, that people are scared to say or do anything about their kids being overweight, b/c there's a chance that it might hurt their self esteem?? that pisses me off so bad? which do you care about most? them having a heart attack at the age of 30? or their self esteem?? I'm not saying tell them their fat everyday, i'm saying teach them how important it is to eat healthy and be active! and do it with them! childrens obesity has went up a ton!! kids are having heart attacks! and diabetes at the age of 12! but at least they will have a good self esteem! lol

sorry, that's a pet peive, had to vent!

I could not agree with you more ... and at one time, I was guilty of doing this. Not any longer. My 11 y.o. daughter, who is overweight, watched my weight loss success over the last two years and as such, I have been working with her on good food choices and getting regular exercise for a little over 6 months now. She's only lost about 10 lbs, but her clothes are fitting better and she was so excited last week when she ran into my room and announced that she no longer needed to use the bra extender we had to get her. She's participating in an after school athletic club (the only girl among a see of upcoming freshman football players) and she is playing softball. She also participated in her first organized run last month - The Shamrock Run (she did the Leprechaun Lap, but it was a start since she wasn't ready for a 5K yet). Now we are looking for a 1 mile run as her next adventure and she is looking forward to it ... which was music to this momma's ears!

sounds to me like it has done great things for her "self esteem" Great Job Mama!

I feel your pain. My husband and I come from very critical and obese families who make our dramatic weight loss a constant topic of conversation everytime we have a get-together. I'm tired of hearing, ''You've lost too much" or " You look fine now and shouldn't lose more," and finally,a nd this one takes the cake from my own Mom, "You better stop or you might become anorexic."

I mean, REALLY!??!

I'm dreading easter dinner because I've lost more weight and I'm sure I'll be scrutinized and have twice as much food piled onto my plate by sabotaging family because of it.

Sigh...

My mom is overweight, and since I have started all of this she has been very supportive. I guess in that I am lucky. It seems to even have motivated her to make some small changes. That is an even bigger victory. I really do try and shrug it off, but it is everyday and it is taxing. My partner is happy that the changes I have made have made me confident, and happier but she gets a little bothered by the things that they have said or done in the office. She is with me everyday and has said you wanna loose 10 more then be my guest if it makes you feel better then it is no place of mine to try and change your mind. I just don't understand why they would really care what I do. I don't say anything about them eating 20 cupcakes?