Any asexuals?

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  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
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    Alright, I used to post on AVEN off and on for the longest time.
    I'm not going to say you'll grow out of it because some people just don't, but I just turned 30 and somehow I have a slight interest in well (sex). But, at the same time I don't have a big sex drive and I never have. I can take it or leave it and on top of that I would absolutely love to date and eventually marry someone, but I just never find myself attracted to guys like that at all-so I just don't care about it, if it happens it happens, it's not a big deal to me.
    I haven't been on AVEN for a long time and I probably won't go back for awhile. For me, sexuality isn't a big deal-it's not how I identify myself to others, but I know for a lot of people it's a major part of their identity growing up. But, I do understand where you are coming from so if you need to talk feel free to message me and I won't sit there and tell you that eating different food will help.. It may and it may not but sometimes people just aren't attracted to others in a sexual way and that works out too.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
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    I didn't have sex till I was 23. And havent had it since. Just don't care about it like others I guess. Wasn't that good for me. I mean, she enjoyed quite well, but I was like, "whatever". I hardly think about it. Unless Im on here of course!

    Yeah pretty much the same here. I'm good to flirt but beyond that just doesn't really appeal to me.
  • SoFLYFireman
    SoFLYFireman Posts: 170 Member
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA&feature=related

    Sorry... Had to :wink:
  • DarkAngel864
    DarkAngel864 Posts: 229 Member
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    I'm just very curious about this. Are asexuals affectionate people? Is it just the act of sex that doesn't appeal to them. The link the OP posted is blocked at work, so I couldn't read up on it.

    I'm extremely affectionate and sexual, so this isn't me being disrespectful, rather just very intrigued where asexuals mindset is.
  • LaPistolaSexola
    LaPistolaSexola Posts: 243 Member
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    I am asexual today.

    this makes me sad.
  • ZachyABaby
    ZachyABaby Posts: 235
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    I didn't have sex till I was 23. And havent had it since. Just don't care about it like others I guess. Wasn't that good for me. I mean, she enjoyed quite well, but I was like, "whatever". I hardly think about it. Unless Im on here of course!

    haha, still a man. "She enjoyed it quite well"

    Yah, all ten seconds bro.

    Work wouldn't want me checking the OP's link and I wouldn't anyhow. Hopefully you find some people that you can relate with, though. I think a lot of feelings toward sex come from our attitudes toward ourself. People who don't like their bodies, the way they feel naked, the thought of someone else seeing them naked... etc... come off as not enjoying sex. Body image does a lot to the mind and you might be surprised what doors and outlets open for you once you come into better acceptance with what your momma gave you, with or without the weight loss.

    Best of Luck.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    I wasn't sure what you meant by asexual, so I looked it up. It said "Married". I guess I'm asexual too.


    Ha! speak for yourself :wink:

    He spoke for me.

    :mad:

    I'll share my husbands secret with you asexual married men. Do dishes, laundry, write love letters stick them in her lunch, put the kids to bed, etc. Make your wife's life easier and I'm sure she'll show her gratitude. :bigsmile:

    Are the dishes mandatory? What if I just buy new ones from time to time?
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    This is undoubtedly the most unique post I've ever seen on MFP. I don't think there's anything wrong with being asexual in terms of low libido, but I would be interested in seeking some sort of counsel over why it makes you feel uncomfortable. Sex serves many purposes, not just physiological ones. In a proper relationship (whatever that is for whoever you are) it provides a strong bond between two people and is another way to connect, just like a deep conversation. :) That being said, I am waiting, and in a long-distance relationship, so I'm celibate at the moment. I wish I could be more asexual because this would be much easier. :wink:
  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
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    I didn't have sex till I was 23. And havent had it since. Just don't care about it like others I guess. Wasn't that good for me. I mean, she enjoyed quite well, but I was like, "whatever". I hardly think about it. Unless Im on here of course!

    haha, still a man. "She enjoyed it quite well"

    Yah, all ten seconds bro.

    Work wouldn't want me checking the OP's link and I wouldn't anyhow. Hopefully you find some people that you can relate with, though. I think a lot of feelings toward sex come from our attitudes toward ourself. People who don't like their bodies, the way they feel naked, the thought of someone else seeing them naked... etc... come off as not enjoying sex. Body image does a lot to the mind and you might be surprised what doors and outlets open for you once you come into better acceptance with what your momma gave you, with or without the weight loss.

    Best of Luck.

    i think he makes a good point. (i know this has nothing to do anymore with the original post- sorry)
    but anywho. i have alot of guy friends and they are always most turned out by confidence. they've dated gals of all shapes and sizes but the ones that they stuck with were the ones who believed in themselves!
    not to mention its hard to enjoy sex if you are worried about how you look the whole time. i'm sorry but you just have to let go sometimes!
  • b00b0084
    b00b0084 Posts: 729 Member
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    I am not asexual but I have no desire for sex since I "blew up" with my last pregnancy. That will change. lol sex is great when you appreciate your own body!

    But to each his own, if you are asexual then more power to you!
  • b00b0084
    b00b0084 Posts: 729 Member
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    Hmmm.... I thought asexual meant sex with yourself......:blushing:

    So I guess I'll go find me a new thread....

    :tongue: :laugh: :wink:
    I was going to say the same thing haha. That's what I thought it meant. Or an organism that doesn't need a partner to reproduce, to be more specific.

    considering you are taught in school that asexual animals reproduce on their own (have sex with themselves lol)
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I wasn't sure what you meant by asexual, so I looked it up. It said "Married". I guess I'm asexual too.


    Ha! speak for yourself :wink:

    He spoke for me.

    :mad:

    I'll share my husbands secret with you asexual married men. Do dishes, laundry, write love letters stick them in her lunch, put the kids to bed, etc. Make your wife's life easier and I'm sure she'll show her gratitude. :bigsmile:

    Are the dishes mandatory? What if I just buy new ones from time to time?

    thats even better!
  • ♥MyCrazyBeautifulLife
    ♥MyCrazyBeautifulLife Posts: 61
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    I didn't have sex till I was 23. And havent had it since. Just don't care about it like others I guess. Wasn't that good for me. I mean, she enjoyed quite well, but I was like, "whatever". I hardly think about it. Unless Im on here of course!

    blinkWTF.gif

    serious?

    I thought the same thing lol
  • rentrikin
    rentrikin Posts: 104 Member
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    Hi...
    Like others.. I find it a little odd to be posting this subject on this site but I guess everything is up for grabs. However.. and not to be critical but the fact that you state you have no interest in sex and yet post about it tells me that you have more interest in it than you believe . I wouldnt worry about it.. and I certainly wouldn't label myself.. (asexual..gray sexual etc) you are young and everyone has different biological clocks. If you are happy with your life and the way you are.. does it really matter? Rhonda
  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
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    Wow, I wasn't expecting this many posts! I am surprised how controversial this topic is.

    I agree with people that at my heaviest I was not happy with my body at all, and was horrified by my inability to tie shoes and so on. However now I'm about 12 pounds away from a 'healthy' weight and am feeling q much higher self esteem. I decided that I'd had enough of feeling uncomfortable with myself and - well - nobody can fix that except me, so I might as well get on with it instead of waiting. I'm very happy and confident now & this increases with every pound I lose.

    But this has not changed my sex drive on any level. Sex is still boring and dull, though not 'frightening' per se. It simply doesn't appeal. I don't see it as a problem so I can't be bothered to go bother a doctor about something that isn't a problem and I don't even want to be 'fixed'...

    I've had loads of private messages and I'll definitely send friend requests to those who have offered!

    To let those interested know what asexuals can feel... There are many asexuals, romantic and aromantic, and it's hard to generalise. In my case, I can still get 'butterflies' feelings towards certain people, but have no desire to have sex with them. A relationship would be fully satisfying without sex.

    Humans (and all things) did evolve to breed. But we have gained a level of complexity beyond other breeding machines. Many choose not to have children - a disaster for propagation of our genes, but satisfying for our complex brains. Similarly I can lack the desire to have sex with people.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    Hmmm...this is sort of a hypothetical question, and I may have missed it, but have you experienced sex yet? I wouldn't say it's always boring and dull. I used to be sexually active and, well, it's potentially one of the most fun things EVER. It feels great with the right person. It certainly can be unpleasant with the wrong one though.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    Hmmm...this is sort of a hypothetical question, and I may have missed it, but have you experienced sex yet? I wouldn't say it's always boring and dull. I used to be sexually active and, well, it's potentially one of the most fun things EVER. It feels great with the right person. It certainly can be unpleasant with the wrong one though.

    Why would someone go out and have sex if they aren't interested or curious about it? If you aren't interested, everyone is the wrong one.
  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
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    Hmmm...this is sort of a hypothetical question, and I may have missed it, but have you experienced sex yet? I wouldn't say it's always boring and dull. I used to be sexually active and, well, it's potentially one of the most fun things EVER. It feels great with the right person. It certainly can be unpleasant with the wrong one though.

    Yes I have. It was neither pleasant nor unpleasant. It just felt completely unnecessary and was boring.
    Edit: More info: it was in a relationship, but the relationship didn't work out (partly because I kept avoiding the sex). The sex had no impact on my way of thinking. I still sometimes think I haven't had sex in my life because it had such little impact it almost doesn't register.
  • ZachyABaby
    ZachyABaby Posts: 235
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    I feel the same way about doing the dishes.
  • carmenvo
    carmenvo Posts: 34
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    I don't think I'm asexual, but my libido is just lower than average I think. I have had great sex, with men and women so that didn't really make a difference, but now, I don't. First I thought that it was just a phase, a result of graduating, getting my first job, moving out, getting a second job etc. But now I just don't know.

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