"Are you starving yourself?" VENT!

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patssarah
patssarah Posts: 146 Member
in Motivation and Support
Maybe I am supposed to be flattered by this remark, but IM NOT!:explode:

I was always lazy, sat around all day (Im a stay at home mom) so I am home all day, was in a really bad habit of eating crap and never excercising. Finally Feb 16th of this year, I got sick of it! I felt depressed, un attractive, un healthy, and I had zero energy.
I found comfort in food, so I would eat to feel better.
Anyway, so I began eating right, still allowing myself treats when I wanted them, and I started excercising. Within 2 weeks I felt 100% better, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thats all it took, so now 2.5 months into my new lifestyle I am 20 pounds lighter, and almost to my goal weight. I am very proud of myself. And then I get comments that piss me the f* off!!

My mom was the first one "Sarah what are you doing starving yourself?" "Sarah, your not eating enough" "1200 calories isnt enough" "Oh I forgot you are starving yourself" Almost everytime I talk to her or see her!
I tried not to let it bother me at first, but Im getting so sick of hearing it! And Im not only eating 1200 calories anymore, because I am so close to my goal, I have upped my calories and go over some days, just to keep my body guessing.

Today one of the mothers at my sons school made a comment to me "Hey! What have you been doing starving yourself? I keep wanting to ask you what your thinking starving yourself"

Seriously!!! maybe I shouldnt complain, maybe I am being overly sensitive, but it is so frustrating that I am getting in shape and eating right and losing weight the healthy way, I am living a new lifestyle, I am happier and feel better than I ever have, and then people are so un supportive!

Am I the only person who gets offended by this crap? Has this happened to anybody else?

Anybody have any good come-backs to shut these people up?:smile:

I just needed to vent.. I have gotten a couple of the "have you lost weight? you look great" compliments and those I like:blushing: but it just really gets me worked up when I hear somebody (mainly my mother, or other family members she has told I am starving myself) say something so negative.
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Replies

  • Dawntodusk
    Dawntodusk Posts: 262 Member
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    Are these people who say these things overweight? If so, it is clearly envy! I cannot imagine another person who is in good shape saying anything but congratulations. Ignore the negative. It's hard because they are friends and family, but they are WRONG!
  • mlwprima2
    mlwprima2 Posts: 4
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    You look awesome. I don't really have a comment for them but as long as you are happy forget about them, they are jealous (I BET). I would rather get that than, "ma'am, how many months are you"? or "Dang, you used be a ballerina, what happened"? Keep up the good work!
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
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    Are these people who say these things overweight? If so, it is clearly envy! I cannot imagine another person who is in good shape saying anything but congratulations. Ignore the negative. It's hard because they are friends and family, but they are WRONG!

    I completely agree! Honestly it is jealously... some people are just negative. Shake the haters off girl, you look great!!
  • SassyStef
    SassyStef Posts: 413
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    I hate those comments too and unfortunately that is the perception everyone thinks when they think of weight loss....starvation.....lol

    I just say, do you realize how much you have to eat to look this good lol or I bet I am eating more than you!

    Hopefully you can start letting it roll off you back, family can be the worst critics...maybe you should tell them that their insupportableness is really hurting your feelings and explain what you are doing to get healthy. Good luck!!
  • orange_avocado
    orange_avocado Posts: 232
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    I think our society has become used to only seeing a certain body type - celebrities and 13 year old girls are allowed to be skinny, but if you're a normal person you should be overweight or at least "comfortably chubby". It makes people feel justified in their own weight. Your own family especially probably figures that since you all have the same genes and *they* can't lose weight, you must be starving yourself!

    Good for you on your success, and sorry you have to put up with all the negativity!
  • KyleJCooper
    KyleJCooper Posts: 44 Member
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    I totally understand. I've dropped 80 pounds since my heaviest, and people were like "good job!" constantly. Now that I am within 10 pounds of my goal, I am constantly hearing things like "well don't get TOO skinny," etc etc. It is frustrating. As long as you are not going way below your daily goal, you are eating plenty and are NOT starving yourself. Take pride in how awesome you look now, and don't let the peanut gallery get you down. (FYI my mother is definitely the most vocal person I'm referring to as well).
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
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    For some reason America is beginning to think that if you are slim and healthy then you are starving yourself in some way. You have got to be. How else could you possibly lose weight? By eating?? Well, wait it isn't supposed to work like that (lots of sarcasm).

    Little do they know....if you do it the right way you aren't starving, you are eating all the time

    You look great. Ignore the jealousy. And moms are just like that.
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
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    :sad: :sad:
    You look awesome. I don't really have a comment for them but as long as you are happy forget about them, they are jealous (I BET). I would rather get that than, "ma'am, how many months are you"? or "Dang, you used be a ballerina, what happened"? Keep up the good work!

    Better than your kid saying you look like a sumo wrestler... yeah it happened to me, and it was innocent enough, but :sad: .
  • xxMsComptonxx
    xxMsComptonxx Posts: 53
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    I have noticed I cannot tell people exactly what i am doing to lose weight or they will judge. then when someone who doesnt even know me asks if i am starving myself i try to understand they do not know what they are saying is hurtful. I know where you are coming from on this subject but what may be sensitive to you... others see as a "slick comment" and mean no harm. But i take offense as well. Just give the usual "fake nod" as i like to call it. :)
  • tinacrane
    tinacrane Posts: 134 Member
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    People get used to the way we look over time and that's how they identify with us, that what makes them comfortable...When we make changes, especially relatively quick ones, I think people become uncomfortable and unsure. After awhile, they will not even remember what you looked like before and will have nothing to comment on. This too happens relatively quickly...Don't worry, just love the way you look!
  • Mkmassey3
    Mkmassey3 Posts: 214 Member
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    Bump * I totally have a comment to write here, but have to run out and it might get lengthy....so I will be back to share :tongue:
  • ppiinnkkmmoonn
    ppiinnkkmmoonn Posts: 418
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    yep happens to me allll the time im 5'8 as well so people really give it to me. it mostly family my sister made fun of bra called it a training bra. A best friend says i need butt implants since i have none. guys say i cant hug you cuz i will break ?? "NO i can carry it myself im not dainty!" ect ect ect but on the plus side most people tell me the wish they had my legs and my height and that im beautiful so i try to keep those compliment closer then the negative ones.
  • WorkingMomGetsFit
    WorkingMomGetsFit Posts: 70 Member
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    To my mom, I would be sarcastic with her (that's just me)..."Yes mom, that is exactly what I am doing and it's working great!" Sarcasm is usualy enough to shut my mom up. LOL To everyone else, I would thank them for the "compliment" and simply tell them healthy eating and exercise. No need to go into details but atleast they know you are definitely putting in the work!
  • dianeensey
    dianeensey Posts: 13 Member
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    For some people the only way to build themselves up is to put other people down. You can't control what they say to you, but you can control your reactions. Try something like laughing "Starving? Heck no, I'm getting healthy. Never felt better." That will mess them up because they want you to feel bad and guilty!
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    Jealousy can be very ugly. If you are NOT starving (ie: netting OVER 1200 a day) and you feel GOOD and energetic and are eating healthy food then *kitten* them plain and simple. YOU know you're not doing anything wrong, so tell them to go shove it.

    Just say "no, I'm not starving myself, I am eating appropriate portion sizes of healthy foods and exercising. I feel great. You should try it."
    (and when you add the "you should try it", make sure they see you kinda look them up and down real quick as if you're assessing their body fat.):devil:
  • Jitteryspork
    Jitteryspork Posts: 550 Member
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    Just say... "In fact yes I am.. I haven't eaten since last month... and I am surprised I am still up and walking around and not exhausted from malnutrition. The hunger is actually starting to dull down a bit and I am hoping in 4 months it will be gone completely, and I will still be able to take the kids to school"

    That will make them go "What??" ...
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Tell them your Dr. is happy with your progress, so no need to worry. Those who were genuinely concerned will stop as soon as they know you have a Dr.'s sign-off. If they continue to make rude comments, tell them it's none of their business. If they don't shut up, tell thm you'd love to spend time with them when they can stop discussing your body, but apparently that will not be today, and then leave. They'll get the message.
  • BiancaNayomi
    BiancaNayomi Posts: 14
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    I can really feel your pain. Just say "it's none of your business " with a strict voice, and they should understand you don't want to discuss this with them. And you mother, be honest, say you wanted a more healthy lifestyle and that you are happy : )
    I think every parent just want their children to be happy, so : )
  • MsScorpio67
    MsScorpio67 Posts: 91 Member
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    When you make positive changes in your life, it makes others look at theirs. And most times, they don't like what they see. So it's like your a constant reminder of what they should be doing and instead of being support of your efforts, they knock you for it. OR! Some people are so used to being overweight that they really don't know what being at a healthy weight looks like. And for some it takes time for them to get used to the new you.

    I don't really have any snappy comebacks that you can use, but I just want to encourage you to keep up the good work despite what others say to you. You know in your heart and mind that you are making positive changes and it will only benefit you in the long run. If nobody can appreciate that, well, that sounds personal. As my friend would say, "You do you boo-boo"
  • SolidGoaled
    SolidGoaled Posts: 504 Member
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    Jeez, I don't know what is worse - this type of comment or no comment at all. I have a few friends who just refuse to acknowledge that I've lost 32 lbs and am finally getting back to my hot self instead of the fat stay at home mom who had let herself go for the last 10 years. My hubby says that my weight loss is to the very noticeable point and that anyone who hasn't seen me in the last 4 months would have to be blind not to notice. Well, I still have a few friends who just refuse to acknowledge it. Maybe they don't want to embarrass me, maybe they don't want to acknowledge the prior weight problem, maybe they are jealous and secretly hoping I gain it back before they HAVE to say something.... heh heh... but, no matter what people say or don't say - you keep it up and starve away. (figuratively speaking) :)

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