why do people have to make you feel ****ty by saying no to f

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ChantalD75
ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
in Food and Nutrition
We often have lunch brought in at work. Paid for by the company. I always decline as I bring my own lunch. And if I don't I will make a stop and pick up something healthy and eat with them. And again today they are ordering in as it's Admin Day and one of the girls bday. And they were pushy about me ordering from this local chicken place. Told me just order a salad... there is no healthy salad on the menu btw... except the side salads... but why eat that when I can eat what I brought... which I can control what I eat and what I put on my food??? Why is this such a big deal.... why do they feel the need to push this on me? Why do I feel so guilty saying no thank you??
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Replies

  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
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    Don't worry about them! My office ordered breakfast and lunch every day and they would try to push me into ordering every day. I never gave in... and they all got fatter and fatter... I got thinner. So, I win, haha. Dont let them pressure you into it. If you're more comfortable with the food you bring, stick with it.
  • lsd007
    lsd007 Posts: 435
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    People suck!!

    Really though, I think people just don't understand. If they are the type of people who don't have to work to maintain a healthy weight then they see no harm in eating whatever tastes good. And, if they're the opposite..people who SHOULD be working to get to a healthy weight but just don't bother (ie: ME about four months ago! lol) then they don't really "get" why someone should go to the trouble to "diet" when they can just get whatever sounds good at the moment, even if its not healthy! At my old job, every Friday we ordered out, either from a local pizza, Mexican or a place that had the BEST pasta dishes...all not healthy, diet-friendly choices. In January I stopped ordering and they all got a little hateful about it.
  • mykaanderson
    mykaanderson Posts: 20
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    Dont feel bad at all for sticking to your guns. These are the one's that usually have all the excuses/complaints why they can't lose weight, really, it's such a mystery? Keep at it as I enjoy my orange instead of the baked treats in the lunch room "Nothing tastes as good as fit feels" - I heard this a few years back and it's so true!
  • MandiG82
    MandiG82 Posts: 7
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    I find that most people feel uncomfortable when someone else is making a choice that they might think is "better" than the choice they're making. My husband and I are both trying to lose weight and we find that people are pushy about us ordering out, etc. We don't just find it with food though. We're newly married, have lots of things to do and have decided to not have television. We like not having it, we get a lot more done now and it's just a simple choice for us. People get all defensive about it when they find out we don't have TV. They say things like "how do you not have TV?" or "well, yeah, I only have it for background noise" or "I really never watch it". Okay. Cool. No problem. People just feel uncomfortable when others make different decisions than they do. You keep doing what you're doing! You're doing the right thing for you!
  • smoonygirl
    smoonygirl Posts: 23 Member
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    I can understand your feelings about this completely.... people just don't get it... I don't know if telling them what you just told us would help, but maybe?

    People like to make other people feel like outsiders when they don't automatically join in... so they start pressuring so you would conform... and be one of them...

    Can you just eat what you brought when they are eating? That way your still involved but not sabotaging yourself.....
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
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    I find that most people feel uncomfortable when someone else is making a choice that they might think is "better" than the choice they're making. My husband and I are both trying to lose weight and we find that people are pushy about us ordering out, etc. We don't just find it with food though. We're newly married, have lots of things to do and have decided to not have television. We like not having it, we get a lot more done now and it's just a simple choice for us. People get all defensive about it when they find out we don't have TV. They say things like "how do you not have TV?" or "well, yeah, I only have it for background noise" or "I really never watch it". Okay. Cool. No problem. People just feel uncomfortable when others make different decisions than they do. You keep doing what you're doing! You're doing the right thing for you!

    that makes alot of sense!!! Thank you!!!
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
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    I have the same problem. I also get the, "You are so skinny already why do you continue to eat healthy?" Ummmm....because its a lifestyle not a diet! My coworkers usually freak out when they hear that I haven't touched soda in any form, regular or diet, in 12 years. Ignore them. Continue with how you live your life and let them continue the way they live theirs.
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
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    I can understand your feelings about this completely.... people just don't get it... I don't know if telling them what you just told us would help, but maybe?

    People like to make other people feel like outsiders when they don't automatically join in... so they start pressuring so you would conform... and be one of them...

    Can you just eat what you brought when they are eating? That way your still involved but not sabotaging yourself.....

    Yes that is what I told them... I brought myself a nice salad I will just have that... and they keep saying... but this is a paid lunch you can eat that salad tomorrow.... they just don't get it.... I just got upset and said I worked too hard to get where I am now .....
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Just curious, what are you saying as a response? (oops, see now that you just posted what you say - nevermind)

    My co-workers are mostly good about when I don't join in ordering because they know I'm trying to lose weight so all I have to say is "No, thanks, I packed lunch today" or "No thanks, I'm just going to get a salad in the cafeteria". I get looks from some like "oh, you're no fun" but those are the same people that complain that they're getting fat so it's their problem, not mine.

    Maybe it would help to say something like that or just keep repeating "no, thank you" every time they try to press you...
  • fit36
    fit36 Posts: 1
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    I've had to compare myself to an alcoholic to some of my friends in order to get them to understand. Unless you were a monster, you wouldn't say to an alcoholic "C'mon, one's not gonna kill ya!" You just wouldn't. When they say they're on the wagon, you leave it at that, and praise them for their strength. And for whatever reason, not drinking is a life choice they NEEDED to make. It's the same with food for me. I can't just have a nibble, it would be a downward spiral. But I swear it doesn't stop people from constantly asking or saying "it's ok...just this once..." Ugh!
  • suemar74
    suemar74 Posts: 447 Member
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    They may not get it. When I think about my views on food before I started making healthier choices, I realize that food made me happy. Ordering something from a local restaurant was more enjoyable to me than bringing some "blah" food from home. And if I offered the menu to someone else and they declined, I would have thought it was a money issue. Never would I have thought they actually *preferred* the sandwich they brought from home. They may be pushing because they want to share that "happiness" with you. They may not realize that healthier choices make you feel better, in so many ways.

    Or they could be pushing because they want you to be "the skinny one" in the office, hehehe.
  • byHISstrength
    byHISstrength Posts: 984 Member
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    Even though you shouldn't have to explain yourself, you can politely just tell them that you are working really hard to make healthy food choices. It is a matter of respect. They need to respect your decision to eat well. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it will pay off if you stay diligent. Hey, maybe one day some of them will join you.
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
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    thank you all for your replies!!!! I appreciate your support and modivation!!!!! :happy:
  • curvygirl512
    curvygirl512 Posts: 423 Member
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    A few random thoughts:

    1. If you previously ordered out with the rest of your co-workers, and have since changed your food choices, they now may feel that you are shunning the friendship, not just the lunchtime routine. Who knows? maybe you are. Reassure your friendly co-workers that you're just eating differently, not that you are moving on to new friendships.

    2. So many times, as we make the choices to eat more healthy food and live more healthy lives, we feel like we need to be on the defensive. Try the opposite approach--go on the offensive. With my co-workers, this was a huge help. With my mother, still a work in progress. LOL, Mom.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    I rarely go out to lunch with my work friends, etc...but I do make the extra effort so I can maintain my networking contacts. Also, my boss always takes the admins out on Admin Professionals day - I would prefer a gift card or somethign like that, but I know he enjoys taking us all out for a nice lunch. I just try to find the healthiest thing on the menu and work out extra that day. LOL :)

    Although, this is not a weekly/monthly event - this only happens once a year.

    I do have a co-worker who does get offended if I do not eat the donuts/breakfast burritos/etc... that they bring in. It's because they are miserable and unhealthy and want everyone around them to be the same (misery loves company, right?).
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,444 Member
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    You are doing great; stand your ground!
  • halejr23
    halejr23 Posts: 294
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    I say ignore them. Frankly, my bet is they are jealous of you that you have the willpower and smarts to eat healthy instead of eating crap all the time. I know how you feel ... I have a buddy who brags about losing 20 pounds in 6 months. However, the way he did it was by eating a yogurt in the morning then not eating until dinner - which would be something typically very unhealthy and HUGE portions. He tries teasing me about how I eat and ... I shoot back with "I do not eat like a teenage girl trying to get in to her prom dress"!

    It annoys him but also usually shuts him up. When it doesn't I ask him if he wants to workout or run with me. Since he knows he doesn't have the energy/fuel he always declines! ;-)
  • DeniseGdz
    DeniseGdz Posts: 592 Member
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    I find that most people feel uncomfortable when someone else is making a choice that they might think is "better" than the choice they're making. My husband and I are both trying to lose weight and we find that people are pushy about us ordering out, etc. We don't just find it with food though. We're newly married, have lots of things to do and have decided to not have television. We like not having it, we get a lot more done now and it's just a simple choice for us. People get all defensive about it when they find out we don't have TV. They say things like "how do you not have TV?" or "well, yeah, I only have it for background noise" or "I really never watch it". Okay. Cool. No problem. People just feel uncomfortable when others make different decisions than they do. You keep doing what you're doing! You're doing the right thing for you!

    AMEN! People do try to sabatoge you :noway: when it's something that is better for you and not for them. I don't think they do it conciously (or at least hope not :grumble: ) but it happens. Be proud that you are able to fend them off!! I'm proud of you!! Don't feel guilty- feel proud! :flowerforyou:

    as far as not having a TV, I applaud you. :drinker: My husband and I have one but are only able to watch it every blue moon. We have decided there are much better things to do with our time!!
  • 30tips
    30tips Posts: 132
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    Haha, I know, people do that ALL the time... It feels good once you find the right way to say no easily when you want to
  • 30tips
    30tips Posts: 132
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    I concur... this is probably the most common reason, in my opinion:
    They may not get it. When I think about my views on food before I started making healthier choices, I realize that food made me happy. Ordering something from a local restaurant was more enjoyable to me than bringing some "blah" food from home. And if I offered the menu to someone else and they declined, I would have thought it was a money issue. Never would I have thought they actually *preferred* the sandwich they brought from home. They may be pushing because they want to share that "happiness" with you. They may not realize that healthier choices make you feel better, in so many ways.

    Or they could be pushing because they want you to be "the skinny one" in the office, hehehe.
    I also like candy´s idea of trying the offensive... though they might not be excited about you ordering salads for them...

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