Rough Relationship Getting You Down...

I take it out on running, beer potato chips and cake.

I'm not in a bad relationship, but it is a difficult one. It's actually why I started exercising. When I feel stressed about it, I go straight to the gym. The first time I did it I came home and got drunk off of old-fashioneds while listening to early 90's R&B and dancing in my kitchen, but I don't need that anymore.

Remember one thing, You cannot change someone...You must change yourself in a positive manner and hope the other person with notice and follow suit.... Me and my wife are re-conciliating after she had an affair and it is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. Good luck

I'm a divorce lawyer... I have all kinds of ways to deal with bad relationships...

If you're unhappy, you need to put together a plan to get out. It is not impossible, you just need to have a plan. I was unhappy in a relationship, so I moved back in with my mom just so I could have a place to sleep and get out of the relationship. I wasn't married to the person, but I would have done the same thing if I had been, except adding in the extra step of finding a divorce lawyer.

I have a friend who is currently in a rough relationship (not physical abuse). Her and her boyfriend (of over 5 years) have a 6 month plan, goals they need to work towards that will hopefully make their relationship better, plus they're going to counseling. She is also putting a good chunk of her disposable income in savings every month to allow her to leave if the 6 month plan doesn't work. She doesn't want to leave, but she also doesn't want to end up bitter and resentful if she stays.

It is very difficult and painful. Not only do I deal with daily as part of my job (five custody trials just this summer alone), but I went through it myself several years ago when my oldest daughter was only ten. It was brutal, but with lots of hard work, it worked out. I was able to maintain a great relationship with my daughter (even though she ended up being nearly 600 miles away),and I remarried (17 years now) and have three more awesome children who adore their big sister. Was it easy? No way... Was it the best thing to do? Ultimately yes, but divorce is a major decision and should not be taken lightly and not before you have done everything in your power to reconcile with your spouse. Any marriage can be fixed with hard work if both of you want to put in the effort. (The only exceptions to that in my experience are physical abuse and repeated infidelity).

Best place to start is to ask yourself if your wife truly is your top earthly priority. If she is not, your relationship is doomed until you re-structure your priorities. If you honestly think she is, ask her if she believes that. Ask her if she thinks you value anything more than her... believe me, she will tell you. She obviously needs to do the same thing, but you do not have any control over that. If you want to stay married then you need to bust your butt to make it happen... even if you see no reward or pats on the back from your wife. There is a very simple formula to a happy long-lasting relationship: Do not let your spouse out-serve you. Even if she is not on board with it, demonstrate your love for her every day through your quiet actions, regardless of what she says or does. That is how you will know she is your top priority. If you don't want to do that, then your marriage is probably over.