HOPE STORY - MUST READ A skinny 20 years old took a fantastic stand against fat shaming
Allterrain_Lady
Posts: 421 Member
It happened today on the subway. It was so impressive, I'll try to do as close a rendition as possible of what happened.
I was with a friend of mine who's highly overweight. Up to the point where it as a real impact on her quality of life.
She can't stand on her feet for a very long time so she sat. Because the subway was crowded and the both of us couldn't stay comfortably on the seat intended for two people I stayed standing.
In front of her was a maybe 7 years old and his (I thought) baby-sitter in her early 20s.
The boy looked at her and said: “Look at that woman.She's so fat, her friend can't seat next to her.”
My friend was tearing and about to move when the girl stopped her and said: “Do you mind staying for 5 minutes? I think we should kill that kind of mindset right now.”.
She then turned to face the boy and went: “Yes, she is a fat lady. What else do you know about her?”
The boy looked stunned and said: “Nothing. I don't know her.”
“My point exactly. Well, maybe she is a great docteur and saves lives every day. Maybe she's an amazing violin player and talk to people with music. Maybe she could beat you at Super Mario Kart. Maybe she's none of that but takes good care of her loved ones and that would be enough.
I heard you got time-out at school because you didn't behave today. Does that mean you're a bad kid? That there's nothing more to say about you?
Do you like it when people judge me because I had you at 15?
People have stories that are more interesting than you think. And it doesn't always show on them. Because you don't know anything about people, you shouldn't judge. And even when you know a lot you should refrain from judging.”
My jaw dropped at that girl's speech. She was awesome. My friend was actually crying.
She added: “What do you think you should do right now?”
The boy: “I should say I'm sorry.
The Mum: “Yes. And I think we should try and know each other. Maybe you could tell her three things about yourself and she would do the same. If that's ok?”
My friend nodded.
The boy apologized and said he played soccer and that would be his job when he grew up. My friend said that she played chess but that wasn't her job. He said that he didn't like his piano teacher. She said she didn't like hers when she was young either. He said that his favorite food was waffle. And she said that she knew 9 magic cards tricks.
He looked impressed.
The boy and her mum arrived at their station and left. It was a moment of grace.
Those two make me very hopeful for the years to come.
Thought I should share. There's hope for beating fat shaming!
I was with a friend of mine who's highly overweight. Up to the point where it as a real impact on her quality of life.
She can't stand on her feet for a very long time so she sat. Because the subway was crowded and the both of us couldn't stay comfortably on the seat intended for two people I stayed standing.
In front of her was a maybe 7 years old and his (I thought) baby-sitter in her early 20s.
The boy looked at her and said: “Look at that woman.She's so fat, her friend can't seat next to her.”
My friend was tearing and about to move when the girl stopped her and said: “Do you mind staying for 5 minutes? I think we should kill that kind of mindset right now.”.
She then turned to face the boy and went: “Yes, she is a fat lady. What else do you know about her?”
The boy looked stunned and said: “Nothing. I don't know her.”
“My point exactly. Well, maybe she is a great docteur and saves lives every day. Maybe she's an amazing violin player and talk to people with music. Maybe she could beat you at Super Mario Kart. Maybe she's none of that but takes good care of her loved ones and that would be enough.
I heard you got time-out at school because you didn't behave today. Does that mean you're a bad kid? That there's nothing more to say about you?
Do you like it when people judge me because I had you at 15?
People have stories that are more interesting than you think. And it doesn't always show on them. Because you don't know anything about people, you shouldn't judge. And even when you know a lot you should refrain from judging.”
My jaw dropped at that girl's speech. She was awesome. My friend was actually crying.
She added: “What do you think you should do right now?”
The boy: “I should say I'm sorry.
The Mum: “Yes. And I think we should try and know each other. Maybe you could tell her three things about yourself and she would do the same. If that's ok?”
My friend nodded.
The boy apologized and said he played soccer and that would be his job when he grew up. My friend said that she played chess but that wasn't her job. He said that he didn't like his piano teacher. She said she didn't like hers when she was young either. He said that his favorite food was waffle. And she said that she knew 9 magic cards tricks.
He looked impressed.
The boy and her mum arrived at their station and left. It was a moment of grace.
Those two make me very hopeful for the years to come.
Thought I should share. There's hope for beating fat shaming!
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Replies
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Wow. Thats pretty great parenting right there0
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She might have had him at 15, but she's clearly a very good mum and a decent human being, good on her. Hopefully a lesson he'll carry with him into adulthood. Thanks for sharing that, it gives us all hope!0
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That story made my day. What a great mom AND human.0
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Oh my god this made ME tear up...this is a wonderful story. That woman was an amazing mother, and lets hope that boy passes what he learnt on to some of his friends too.... Children can really be very thoughtlessly mean.0
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Good for this young mother to use this as a good "teachable moment" for her young son. Children are often blunt and come off as rude because they just say what they're thinking. This mother should be commended for teaching him to be non-judgmental and empathetic.0
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awesome.0
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That mothers name?
Albert Einstein.0 -
Love this!0
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wonderful and uplifting
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Gave me goosebumps.0
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Wow, that mom is wise beyond her years. I would like to think that I would think to say something like that, but... Well, maybe after hearing this story I will. Thanks for sharing.0
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So her 'teachable moment' about not shaming people was to shame her 7 year old child in front of strangers on a subway? Got it.0
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Great parent - and how kind of your friend to participate in the lesson and to show such grace in response. (I can imagine it would be really hard to talk to a kid who just said something so mean, even if he's only seven!) I'm betting that little guy is going to remember that exchange for a long time.0
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This is a awesome story. The mother will raise a fine man someday.0
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So her 'teachable moment' about not shaming people was to shame her 7 year old child in front of strangers on a subway? Got it.
No, it's called "parenting" and "life lessons."
I suppose she should have just let her kid get away with it and said nothing. So he could grow up to be a turd. Yeah, that's the way it should have gone. Great idea!
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Lookingformyself wrote: »
Plus, I should have said how nicely she was talking to him. He wasn't being told off at all. She was explaining something very important and deep with a sweet voice, words he could understand and concepts he could relate to.0 -
Beautiful story. Fantastic life lesson for the boy, and great advice from the mom. People are far too quick to judge more often than not and I hope it's something everyone keeps in mind. ♥0
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Awesome story. It's like one of those facebook stories where it says "now share with 10 people..." (except this one actually happened, most of them are fake). My only difference is that someone doesn't have to have calculable value such as violin player or doctor to deserve respect from others. If all she is is a person that's enough. I hope she comes on MFP!0
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What a great story.0
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Oh this is where the comment of shaming came from on my thread, I'd never seen it before.0
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I'm glad you mentioned this. Good lesson!Lookingformyself wrote: »Lookingformyself wrote: »
Plus, I should have said how nicely she was talking to him. He wasn't being told off at all. She was explaining something very important and deep with a sweet voice, words he could understand and concepts he could relate to.
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thank you for sharing that - it was really inspiring.0
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I hope I can be a mother like her once I have children. She seems very wise.0
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awesome parenting right there...0
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That is so awesome.0
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EricJonrosh wrote: »My only difference is that someone doesn't have to have calculable value such as violin player or doctor to deserve respect from others. If all she is is a person that's enough. I hope she comes on MFP!
Actually that's exactly what the mother said when she told him that taking good care of loved ones is enough.
I try to lure my friend into MFP but she wants to improve her English skills first.
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Wow, thank you so much for sharing this story! Way full of win. That mother not only taught her son a lesson on the subway, but turned a hurtful situation into something lovely (even if your friend was still probably mortified). :flowerforyou:0
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(even if your friend was still probably mortified). :flowerforyou:
My friend was mortified at first. But, of course, we discussed what happened at length afterwards and she told me how good it felt to be acknowledged as a whole person. She had to hear the rude comment but it didn't go unnoticed. No awkward silence. The worst, she told me was when people pretend not to hear or shush the kid and move on.
I used to be fat(ter) but never had to go through this. I can only imagine how awful that would be.
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