Binge eating once a week
davidflip
Posts: 6
Hi guys! This is my first time writing on here and I just wanted to hear a little about what others may think of my eating habits (lol).
So first, a little about myself:
I am currently 20 years old, male, and currently weigh (last time I checked) 125 pounds. I am 5'5 in height. I first started using MFP religiously more than a year ago and have lost a total of around 45 lbs since maybe September of 2013. I've been somewhat maintaining my current weight since approximately July 2014.
Now for my eating habits:
I am obsessed with eating clean, I try to stay away from processed junkie foods and have developed the 'whole foods', 'eating clean mentality'. I love my diet and really do feel better about myself. I maintain at about 1500 calories per day and do not really feel deprived all that much. I also regularly run 4-5 times a week (around 10-12 km per run, depending how I feel that day).
Ok, so now, why I'm writing this post: basically, it has come to my attention that maybe once a week I start to go on these binge frenzies at night where I pretty much eat whatever I want to the point where my stomach hurts (like right now lol). I've been doing this for probably almost 2 months now (since University restarted). It usually cycles with 4 days of regular eating followed by 1 day of terrible eating.But honestly, I've seen no difference in weight and if anything, have probably lost a couple of pounds.
I'm just concerned with the fact that in the long run I may jeopardize my eating habits and will develop even more terrible binges to the point where I will never be able to control myself ever again..... (does that make sense??) haha I hope you guys understand what I mean. I'm just concerned that my weekly binges may have a negative effect on my health in the long run!
Thanks for reading this and let me know what you think
David.
So first, a little about myself:
I am currently 20 years old, male, and currently weigh (last time I checked) 125 pounds. I am 5'5 in height. I first started using MFP religiously more than a year ago and have lost a total of around 45 lbs since maybe September of 2013. I've been somewhat maintaining my current weight since approximately July 2014.
Now for my eating habits:
I am obsessed with eating clean, I try to stay away from processed junkie foods and have developed the 'whole foods', 'eating clean mentality'. I love my diet and really do feel better about myself. I maintain at about 1500 calories per day and do not really feel deprived all that much. I also regularly run 4-5 times a week (around 10-12 km per run, depending how I feel that day).
Ok, so now, why I'm writing this post: basically, it has come to my attention that maybe once a week I start to go on these binge frenzies at night where I pretty much eat whatever I want to the point where my stomach hurts (like right now lol). I've been doing this for probably almost 2 months now (since University restarted). It usually cycles with 4 days of regular eating followed by 1 day of terrible eating.But honestly, I've seen no difference in weight and if anything, have probably lost a couple of pounds.
I'm just concerned with the fact that in the long run I may jeopardize my eating habits and will develop even more terrible binges to the point where I will never be able to control myself ever again..... (does that make sense??) haha I hope you guys understand what I mean. I'm just concerned that my weekly binges may have a negative effect on my health in the long run!
Thanks for reading this and let me know what you think
David.
0
Replies
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If you're binging, then you're missing something, either emotionally or physically, and your body is craving it. You might take a look at your calories and macros and make sure you're meeting your body's needs, and if those are fine, you might have some other issues you need to work out.0
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If you're eating 1600 cals for four days and then binging on the fifth and still maintaing/losing then your maintenance calories are a lot higher then 1600. Basically it sounds like you are stuck in a cycle of restricting and binging. Try eating more calories consistenly, use a calculator to estimate your TDEE and eat at this amount including some treats. This may help fix your issue and stop the binge episodes because your body won't feel starved or deprived0
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SnuggleSmacks wrote: »If you're binging, then you're missing something, either emotionally or physically, and your body is craving it. You might take a look at your calories and macros and make sure you're meeting your body's needs, and if those are fine, you might have some other issues you need to work out.
This. Repeatedly and uncontrollably eating to the point of feeling physically uncomfortable is not a good thing. If these binges happen as regularly as you say they do, there's either a physical or emotional deficit triggering them. You should really think about figuring out what that is.0 -
I don't think you're eating enough to be honest, and that's why the binges come... I put your numbers in the calculator I use. I eat 1600 (I'm 22, 5'6 and 150lb) a day and am losing slowly.
To maintain you should be eating about 2300 calories (I put your exercise as moderate 5 hours a week). Your BMR is 1500, which is the same as mine.
Please consider upping your calories if you are doing that kind of exercise, your body needs fuel. Maybe consider daily treats to feed your cravings.0 -
do not really feel deprived all that much
This line suggests that you're trying to convince yourself... to me it says you do feel deprived at least sometimes a little bit. I would recommend logging EVERYTHING you eat during a binge/restrict cycle for a few weeks. Then if your weight doesn't change you know you're eating at maintenance so average out your calories.
Eg if you eat 1500 cals Monday-Saturday and then on Sunday you eat 5000 cals and your weight doesn't change. Then your daily maintenance cals are 2000 cals. ((1500*6+5000)/7)0 -
I would seek out help. If you are in university, go to a counsellor. If not, talk to your doctor. This is NOT healthy and can really harm you. You are under-eating and then binging due to biological drives to get enough calories into your system.0
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Hello & Congrats on reaching your goal! (*)
In regards to the binging ... since you are still relatively new to maintaining I understand because I went through something fairly similar and it could be attributed to various reasons (as other posters mentioned).- Are you eating enough calories? Go here to check - calories needed according to your age, height, & level of activities iifym.com/tdee-calculator/
- Perhaps you are being too strict with eating healthy? 100% self deprivation is nearly impossible to maintain. Don't make things worst but imposing a heavy dose of guilt on yourself for choosing poorly every once in a while. Try applying 80/20 rule OVERVIEW HERE: popsugar.com/fitness/What-8020-Rule-32131660 EXAMPLE MEAL PLANNING HERE: livestrong.com/blog/how-to-indulge-and-lose-weight-the-8020-rule/
- Are you binging the same time every week? Is there a trigger that happens that day which prompts you to binge? For me, when I first reached goal, I felt like I needed to 'reward' myself for the week's worth of healthy eating choices. So my binge time always seem to fall on Friday evenings (end of a work week). You should always log in your food so that you can see potential patterns & reflect on the day to see what is triggering it.
- Something you may want to try in order to pull the reigns back on the binge eating is start small. Read food labels & measure out 1 serving to somewhat control the portions.
- And as a poster suggested, if this self-sabotaging behavior continues, I would seek out professional assistance to figure out the root cause.
Best of luck to you!0 -
i am 5ft5 and 136lbs and i maintain on 1900 NET calories and i run 3 x a week... there is no way you maintain on so much less whe you run probably double the distance i do....
you're bingeing because you're starving yourself.0 -
Maybe try pre-logging/pre-planning a small indulgence every couple of days rather than bingeing once a week? This might help you feel empowered that you are in charge of your eating, rather than the other way around?
Also, maybe check out something on mindful eating.0 -
Hi guys! This is my first time writing on here and I just wanted to hear a little about what others may think of my eating habits (lol).
So first, a little about myself:
I am currently 20 years old, male, and currently weigh (last time I checked) 125 pounds. I am 5'5 in height. I first started using MFP religiously more than a year ago and have lost a total of around 45 lbs since maybe September of 2013. I've been somewhat maintaining my current weight since approximately July 2014.
Now for my eating habits:
I am obsessed with eating clean, I try to stay away from processed junkie foods and have developed the 'whole foods', 'eating clean mentality'. I love my diet and really do feel better about myself. I maintain at about 1500 calories per day and do not really feel deprived all that much. I also regularly run 4-5 times a week (around 10-12 km per run, depending how I feel that day).
Ok, so now, why I'm writing this post: basically, it has come to my attention that maybe once a week I start to go on these binge frenzies at night where I pretty much eat whatever I want to the point where my stomach hurts (like right now lol). I've been doing this for probably almost 2 months now (since University restarted). It usually cycles with 4 days of regular eating followed by 1 day of terrible eating.But honestly, I've seen no difference in weight and if anything, have probably lost a couple of pounds.
I'm just concerned with the fact that in the long run I may jeopardize my eating habits and will develop even more terrible binges to the point where I will never be able to control myself ever again..... (does that make sense??) haha I hope you guys understand what I mean. I'm just concerned that my weekly binges may have a negative effect on my health in the long run!
Thanks for reading this and let me know what you think
David.
To be honest, you aren't eating a "regular" diet. You are restricting. Especially for your activity level. I've dealt with binge eating. It isn't fun.
I started out losing weight by only counting calories when I was 300 lbs, and I was eating 1500 calories a day. Then I moved to only counting calories and eating 1200 calories a day. Then I plateaued and added exercise. Eventually I moved to eating around 1000 calories and working out for around 3 hours a day when I could manage it. I thought, well, if a little exercise is good, more must be better. And if 1200 calories was good, less must be better. On top of that, I was eating very little fat. I was good for about a year, and ended up losing down to around 110. Then, out of nowhere, uncontrollable binges would start. I would go crazy with anything that contained carbs and fat. And then after my binges, I would go crazy again with over restricting and over exercising to "make up" for those binges. I got desperate because I was gaining weight back, and I just couldn't get out of the cycle, so I decided to get help (with the strong urging of several friends).
I ended up seeing a nutritionist that specialized in eating disorders. She taught me several things that were a BIG help. The first thing was that I was sleep deprived because I was getting up at 4 am to work out, but going to bed around midnight (I had just started dating my boyfriend). Being sleep deprived can make you crave carbs. The second was that my body was going crazy craving carbs and fat because I was expending energy like crazy, but never replenishing. I needed to start eating more, and working out less.
It's still hard to find a balance, but as long as I listened to her AND listen to my body, I have very little issues now. The below is what I try to keep in mind, and what I suggest for anyone else having problems:
1) Make sure you get enough sleep
2) Make sure you are eating enough (especially enough fat)
3) Don't over exercise, and make sure you eat enough for you level of activity
4) DON'T try to "make up" for binges.
Hopefully this will help you.
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If you're eating 1600 cals for four days and then binging on the fifth and still maintaing/losing then your maintenance calories are a lot higher then 1600. Basically it sounds like you are stuck in a cycle of restricting and binging. Try eating more calories consistenly, use a calculator to estimate your TDEE and eat at this amount including some treats. This may help fix your issue and stop the binge episodes because your body won't feel starved or deprived
This. You need to try to increase your daily calorie allotment. I think you're under eating and the binges are your body's way of telling you so.
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^^^^^^^^^I don't think you're eating enough calories to maintain, you seem to be in a deficit still. I lose on 1600? I think you should calculate your maintenance calories again on iifym.com
You are probably binging because your body needs those calories. If you aren't gaining weight by doing this, eat more calories normally so you don't binge
THIS
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hi guys,
thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it!
And okay, so what i'm getting from all of you is that I should be eating more... That's very nerve racking for me but I will try my best. I guess I would just have to figure out how much more I should be eating.... I'll take a look at all the websites you guys mentioned.
thanks again!!
David0 -
1. At 125 pounds you should probably increase your bodyweight for a man that is very low. I agree with the poster who said eat and build muscle. It will be healthier for you.
2. At 10-12km run, if that is the true distance, will burn about 700 calories. Your RMR should require at LEAST 1200. meaning on days you run you need to consume at LEAST 1900 for normal healthy functioning of your body.
3. You need to up your calories. Don't look at your calories for a day. Look at your calories for the week (track the binge) if you are truly mainting your weight add up the total week's calories and divide by 7 then eat that amount daily. You are developing unhealthy eating habits. I know I had the same problem0 -
We have similar stats (although I'm almost twice your age). You are eating at a deficit most of the time by eating 1600 calories. I lose on this amount even if I eat 2500 2x a week. My maintenance is close to 2300 calories per day.
Now, I usually try to eat at a deficit M-Th because I like to eat (and drink) more on weekends. Granted, this does sometimes lead me to consume more than I planned, but it has worked marvelously for me. I tend to eat "clean" (meaning simple whole foods) during the week because I can feel full and satisfied on 1600-1800 and it's easier to control
If you are worried about the binges (I'm really not, but I may have to revisit my theory when I start a bulk Nov. 1st), then you might try to even out your calorie load.0 -
ok actually, for those of you still reading this post:
Many of you have asked me to figure out what may cause these binges I'm having, and after some thinking it usually starts off like this:
Somehow, somewhere, I'll have a small cheat (something bad or generally unhealthy) and as soon as I do that, I basically tell myself, 'ah what the heck, I've gone over my calorie goal, might as well eat whatever the hell I want'. and then the binge commences.
Last night is a great example:
I had a meeting after class with my faculty's commitee, and one girl brought these pastries for everyone. I obviously had one since I didn't want to seem rude. After the meeting, and thinking about the pastry, the whole 'what the heck scenario' played into my head and so I decided to go eat sushi (I was really hungry for supper and it was quite late) and then decided to have some Yeh. I then got home, had a huge bowl of cereal, made a hot chocolate, ate nuts and ahh Chippits are something I can't stop myself from eating. I think I also had chips I can't remember. Yeah that sounds bad, and its pretty much how it goes usually.
Long story short, the binge is always triggered by eating something bad that I can't necessarily track and puts me way over my calorie goal.0 -
ok actually, for those of you still reading this post:
Many of you have asked me to figure out what may cause these binges I'm having, and after some thinking it usually starts off like this:
Somehow, somewhere, I'll have a small cheat (something bad or generally unhealthy) and as soon as I do that, I basically tell myself, 'ah what the heck, I've gone over my calorie goal, might as well eat whatever the hell I want'. and then the binge commences.
Last night is a great example:
I had a meeting after class with my faculty's commitee, and one girl brought these pastries for everyone. I obviously had one since I didn't want to seem rude. After the meeting, and thinking about the pastry, the whole 'what the heck scenario' played into my head and so I decided to go eat sushi (I was really hungry for supper and it was quite late) and then decided to have some Yeh. I then got home, had a huge bowl of cereal, made a hot chocolate, ate nuts and ahh Chippits are something I can't stop myself from eating. I think I also had chips I can't remember. Yeah that sounds bad, and its pretty much how it goes usually.
Long story short, the binge is always triggered by eating something bad that I can't necessarily track and puts me way over my calorie goal.
You HAVE to get out of the bad versus good food mentality in order to get past the binging. And the binging is still being brought on by lack of nutrition. I had the same thing. My binges would start when I would decide to eat a pastry or a brownie or a cookie, and the next thing I knew, I would want to eat a dozen donuts. It's because I was craving the energy that I got from the carbs, and the fat that was in the donuts. You need to either eat more or work out less. In fact, just eat more. I think even if you WEREN'T exercising, you would probably still need more than 1500 calories.0 -
ok actually, for those of you still reading this post:
Many of you have asked me to figure out what may cause these binges I'm having, and after some thinking it usually starts off like this:
Somehow, somewhere, I'll have a small cheat (something bad or generally unhealthy) and as soon as I do that, I basically tell myself, 'ah what the heck, I've gone over my calorie goal, might as well eat whatever the hell I want'. and then the binge commences.
Last night is a great example:
I had a meeting after class with my faculty's commitee, and one girl brought these pastries for everyone. I obviously had one since I didn't want to seem rude. After the meeting, and thinking about the pastry, the whole 'what the heck scenario' played into my head and so I decided to go eat sushi (I was really hungry for supper and it was quite late) and then decided to have some Yeh. I then got home, had a huge bowl of cereal, made a hot chocolate, ate nuts and ahh Chippits are something I can't stop myself from eating. I think I also had chips I can't remember. Yeah that sounds bad, and its pretty much how it goes usually.
Long story short, the binge is always triggered by eating something bad that I can't necessarily track and puts me way over my calorie goal.
You HAVE to get out of the bad versus good food mentality in order to get past the binging. And the binging is still being brought on by lack of nutrition. I had the same thing. My binges would start when I would decide to eat a pastry or a brownie or a cookie, and the next thing I knew, I would want to eat a dozen donuts. It's because I was craving the energy that I got from the carbs, and the fat that was in the donuts. You need to either eat more or work out less. In fact, just eat more. I think even if you WEREN'T exercising, you would probably still need more than 1500 calories.
Makes sense,
thanks a lot Raynne413
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ok actually, for those of you still reading this post:
Many of you have asked me to figure out what may cause these binges I'm having, and after some thinking it usually starts off like this:
Somehow, somewhere, I'll have a small cheat (something bad or generally unhealthy) and as soon as I do that, I basically tell myself, 'ah what the heck, I've gone over my calorie goal, might as well eat whatever the hell I want'. and then the binge commences.
Last night is a great example:
I had a meeting after class with my faculty's commitee, and one girl brought these pastries for everyone. I obviously had one since I didn't want to seem rude. After the meeting, and thinking about the pastry, the whole 'what the heck scenario' played into my head and so I decided to go eat sushi (I was really hungry for supper and it was quite late) and then decided to have some Yeh. I then got home, had a huge bowl of cereal, made a hot chocolate, ate nuts and ahh Chippits are something I can't stop myself from eating. I think I also had chips I can't remember. Yeah that sounds bad, and its pretty much how it goes usually.
Long story short, the binge is always triggered by eating something bad that I can't necessarily track and puts me way over my calorie goal.
You HAVE to get out of the bad versus good food mentality in order to get past the binging. And the binging is still being brought on by lack of nutrition. I had the same thing. My binges would start when I would decide to eat a pastry or a brownie or a cookie, and the next thing I knew, I would want to eat a dozen donuts. It's because I was craving the energy that I got from the carbs, and the fat that was in the donuts. You need to either eat more or work out less. In fact, just eat more. I think even if you WEREN'T exercising, you would probably still need more than 1500 calories.
Makes sense,
thanks a lot Raynne413
You are very welcome!
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Hi David, after losing a lot of weight and dieting for a while I was in the same boat as you. I started binging more frequently. I searched for some info on this and found a good book on how dieting and calorie counting may negatively effect your attitude towards food and cause binge eating. I still count calories myself and am back on track but this book has really changed my attitude and helped with correct the urge to binge. Its called "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too" by Josie Spinardi. Its available on amazon in e-book format for $9.99. Good read and not boring.0
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phoebejeeby wrote: »Its called "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too" by Josie Spinardi. Its available on amazon in e-book format for $9.99. Good read and not boring.
Just by reading the title of this book, it is probably talking about: If It Fits Your Macros (IIFYM). Which is basically eating "dirty foods" in moderation and making them fit your calorie goal.
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Hello & Congrats on reaching your goal! (*)
In regards to the binging ... since you are still relatively new to maintaining I understand because I went through something fairly similar and it could be attributed to various reasons (as other posters mentioned).- Are you eating enough calories? Go here to check - calories needed according to your age, height, & level of activities iifym.com/tdee-calculator/
- Perhaps you are being too strict with eating healthy? 100% self deprivation is nearly impossible to maintain. Don't make things worst but imposing a heavy dose of guilt on yourself for choosing poorly every once in a while. Try applying 80/20 rule OVERVIEW HERE: popsugar.com/fitness/What-8020-Rule-32131660 EXAMPLE MEAL PLANNING HERE: livestrong.com/blog/how-to-indulge-and-lose-weight-the-8020-rule/
- Are you binging the same time every week? Is there a trigger that happens that day which prompts you to binge? For me, when I first reached goal, I felt like I needed to 'reward' myself for the week's worth of healthy eating choices. So my binge time always seem to fall on Friday evenings (end of a work week). You should always log in your food so that you can see potential patterns & reflect on the day to see what is triggering it.
- Something you may want to try in order to pull the reigns back on the binge eating is start small. Read food labels & measure out 1 serving to somewhat control the portions.
- And as a poster suggested, if this self-sabotaging behavior continues, I would seek out professional assistance to figure out the root cause.
Best of luck to you!
+1. This is excellent. I would think you are not eating enough. You are a growing boy, you need to eat all the foods
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[quote=
Just by reading the title of this book, it is probably talking about: If It Fits Your Macros (IIFYM). Which is basically eating "dirty foods" in moderation and making them fit your calorie goal.
[/quote]
Actually not at all what its about. Its about how counting calories and watching macros can lead to eating disorders and food obsession which can lead to binge eating. It teaches you how to get in touch with normal hunger signals instead of responding to cravings brought on by food obsession.
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ok actually, for those of you still reading this post:
Many of you have asked me to figure out what may cause these binges I'm having, and after some thinking it usually starts off like this:
Somehow, somewhere, I'll have a small cheat (something bad or generally unhealthy) and as soon as I do that, I basically tell myself, 'ah what the heck, I've gone over my calorie goal, might as well eat whatever the hell I want'. and then the binge commences.
Last night is a great example:
I had a meeting after class with my faculty's commitee, and one girl brought these pastries for everyone. I obviously had one since I didn't want to seem rude. After the meeting, and thinking about the pastry, the whole 'what the heck scenario' played into my head and so I decided to go eat sushi (I was really hungry for supper and it was quite late) and then decided to have some Yeh. I then got home, had a huge bowl of cereal, made a hot chocolate, ate nuts and ahh Chippits are something I can't stop myself from eating. I think I also had chips I can't remember. Yeah that sounds bad, and its pretty much how it goes usually.
Long story short, the binge is always triggered by eating something bad that I can't necessarily track and puts me way over my calorie goal.
hmmmm ...
I agree ... stop thinking about food as 'bad' or 'good' because life is hardly EVER that clear cut. Perhaps try to think of it as which is a better choice for DavidFlip's lifestyle goals.
Also, saying 'no thank you' is not a rude response to food offerings that does not compliment the way you would prefer to live. Unless you're a hermit, well meaning food offerings aka triggers will ALWAYS be around. I work in an office where every Wed it is either sugary cereal or bagels w/cream cheese. It is not only a free company breakfast but it also serves as an opportunity to socialize with co-workers I ordinarily wouldn't see. When I first started in maintenance phase I wouldn't go at all because I knew toasted chocolate bagel with cream cheese was just too difficult to resist and I made no apologies for my absence & people respected my 'willpower.' Once my maintenace state of mind stablized I started walking with my coworker to our break room. Sometimes I partake in the food sometimes I did not but I always socialized. For me, being able to separate how I wanted to eat from the socialization aspect with food helped greatly in my mindset. The key is to change your own perspective of saying 'no thank you' without being apologetic about the choice.
Since you find yourself going down the rabbit hole once you start on one less healthier eating choice followed by another, have you considered simply not stocking the rest of the usually binge suspects where it's readily available? If you don't finish a mtg until 10 you get home at 11 if you don't have as much of the "hot chocolate and chippits" at home then perhaps that would be a start to reducing the amount of food you binge on?
My kroptonite is Oreo cookies & Doritos (ANY flavor) and I just don't buy it from the grocer ... EVER! I don't stock it in the house and I don't go near it if someone brings is in for office potluck. I avoid it like the plague because although 95% of the time I can walk by temptations ... those two items are particularly challenging for me. So I cope with it the best I can which is total avoidance. Someday I hope that I can buy a bag of oreos and not eat 1/2 a bag in one sitting but until then I use the coping skills that works for me.
Best of luck to you really ... but this sounds to me that you have worked really hard to achieve your goals physically but your mindset just hasn't quite acclimated to the new standard of living that you want. You have the power to change your perspectives but if you need help there's no shame in that either.
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You're probably just stressing at school and eating is so much easier to do than facing your assignments. Try going to the library to focus on your work rather than being at home when you have the option of eating over working.0
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I agree that you're not eating enough. As already mentioned, calculate your TDEE to make sure your calorie goals are correct. If you can eat more on a consistent basis I think the binges will go away.
If you eat more and still find yourself bingeing you may want to have a look changing your habits.the binge is always triggered by eating something bad that I can't necessarily track and puts me way over my calorie goal.
That trigger is also known as a cue. It sets off a routine, you eat all the things. Which leads to a reward. In your case the reward is the satisfaction from eating all the things that you have deprived yourself of during the week. This cycle repeats itself each week, when you receive the cue you go into your routine (binge eating).
Here's a book on the habit cycle. How many of are decisions and action are driven on a subconscious level. It also offers advice on ways to change those habits.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/1400069289
An interesting read.
Your starting point is eating more. It looks like you're not eating enough.0 -
I think the binging will resolve if you get enough food. The binges are how your body is getting by now because 1500 is way too low. Way too low!! It may be that you have a secondary trigger for binging which is the black-and-white view of foods, but first increase your calories and see because that should make a big difference.0
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If you track your total calorie intake over the week including the binges and divide by 7 to get a normalized calorie intake for the day. You should probably be eating upward of 2000 to maintain. I am a 5'2" 41 year woman, with average body fat of 24-25%. I workout 4-6 days a week and eat about 1700 to maintain (maintaining for 1.5 years now).
I eat fairly clean, not much processed, or made with wheat. But the occasional and if not daily treat is part of life. I agree 125 is too low for your stats.
I used take care of a floor full of 50 undergrad girls when I was in residence during grad school 18 years ago. We had some training to recognise the issue. If I may be honest, I think you might need to seek some counselling at school. 1 in every 10 people with eating disorders is male. I think you may have disordered eating right now. Its not hard to fall into. I think you also struggle with perfectionism and all or nothing attitude.
Good luck.
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