Does rejection and verbal abuse motivate you?

mcbrainder
mcbrainder Posts: 73 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't know if this has been discussed, but something I've noticed about myself in the past is that I usually am highly motivated by rejection or even if I'm made fun of for my weight. This has been proven to work so much for me that I tend to embrace it if someone else says something about my weight.

The longest streak and best results I ever had was nine months from the day a girl I crushed on turned me down. It wasn't long before I wasn't interested in her but felt great.

Does anyone else tend to not look at these things as bad? Obviously, they're mean spirited, but I think they can also be helpful if you embrace them and use them as fuel.
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Replies

  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Nope. Not even a little bit.
  • Turning_Hopes_to_Habits
    Turning_Hopes_to_Habits Posts: 103 Member
    Not me, makes me shut down.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    I don't mind being shown my place.

    Wait, what are we talking about?
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    It motivates me to punch someone in the face. Does that count?
  • mcbrainder
    mcbrainder Posts: 73 Member
    Interesting. I guess it's not as common as I thought.
  • DaFibble
    DaFibble Posts: 152 Member
    It can work, if you believe in the possibility of changing rejection and abuse to something more positive (which you can!) Competition and wanting to overcome a barrier, such as rejection, can be a huge boost to dopamine. The problem is it can also undermine motivation if it makes your goals feel unattainable. Its a balance. Most of the time rejection will trigger a whole host of unhelpful consequences.

    One of the most focused and disciplined times in my life was when I was considered highly attractive by pretty much everyone but only had eyes for a few girls who seemed perpetually unattainable. I had the confidence boost that comes from lots of attention and affection with the motivation boost of needing to reach some vaguely defined goal of whatever it was that would make me interesting to the disinterested.
  • TossaBeanBag
    TossaBeanBag Posts: 458 Member
    Does verbal abuse help motivate me? Yeah, to punch someone in the throat. Verbally abusive people suck.
  • mcbrainder
    mcbrainder Posts: 73 Member
    I was the same way Prismatic. I remember crossing this line where apparantly I was fit and I was getting some attention. It felt great at the time. I wish I could go back and stop myself from screwing it all up, but I use the memory of that and how great I felt as motivation
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    I had to look twice at OP. I thought it was that Debbie Downer dude who posts all those wacky threads.
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    :cry: Let me just curl up in a ball over there in the corner and cry. :sob:
  • DaFibble
    DaFibble Posts: 152 Member
    briandarr16 wrote: »
    I was the same way Prismatic. I remember crossing this line where apparantly I was fit and I was getting some attention. It felt great at the time. I wish I could go back and stop myself from screwing it all up, but I use the memory of that and how great I felt as motivation

    Yeah, you can find your way back, even if the route might be different to before. It really happens! Keep going until you cross that (invisible) line. Then, keep going because it feels good :)
  • blueblueheart
    blueblueheart Posts: 27
    No. Have to fight the urge to either lash out or hibernate when dealing with abuse.

    Neither is constructive.



  • JustFindingMe
    JustFindingMe Posts: 390 Member
    Turning_Hopes_to_Habits wrote: »
    Not me, makes me shut down.

    Me too, I've never responded well to attack. If it was constructive criticism or if I asked them, that would be a different story.

  • KatieMcCakes
    KatieMcCakes Posts: 294 Member
    Depends on the day, and who the abuse and rejection is coming from...
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    No not in the least. I try to avoid those types of people.
  • chickwithpencil
    chickwithpencil Posts: 26 Member
    Nope. All verbal abuse does is make me respond in kind, which stresses me out, which often leads to seizure-related issues, which often puts me out of commission for the rest of the day. So yeah, bullying doesn't work for me.

    That said, if one wants to motivate me... tell me I can't do something. ;)
  • DaFibble
    DaFibble Posts: 152 Member
    Hmm. Do you think this might be somewhat different for men than it is women?

    I suspect men might have a natural competitiveness that, in moderation, makes attacks or rejection feel like a challenge. Also, men tend to get a lot of encouragement from other men if they're trying to lose weight or get stronger. Women get both negative comments from men, like, in an awful and terrible way, and also some other women can be nasty too out of competitiveness.

    Educate me. I do know it feels different but not sure how it is for women.
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
    No, I am not at all motivated when ridiculed or made sport of.
    Here is my line nobody crosses without consequence.
    3...as in the number three.
    A guy is allowed to joke about me 3 times, and it's a joke, but once this guy goes past 3, it's no longer a joke but an attack.
    And I push back - hard!
  • blossomingbutterfly
    blossomingbutterfly Posts: 743 Member
    Turning_Hopes_to_Habits wrote: »
    Not me, makes me shut down.

    Me too.

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