Does rejection and verbal abuse motivate you?

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  • mcbrainder
    mcbrainder Posts: 73 Member
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    It might be competitive Prismatic, but usually I treat it more like a call to change. I just want to clarify: I'm not surrounded by abusive people. Years ago, I remember seeing a guy I hadn't seen in awhile and he said something about how I've gotten fat. He tried to say it in a funny way, but I knew it was true too. Being rejected by someone I had a crush made me think along the lines of: Next time I like someone, I want to actually be a contender.

    So that's where my mindset was. I will also point out that anytime I read an article about obesity on a news story, I tend to read the comments, and though a lot of people are being blunt and harsh and tearing apart the habits of obese people, I tend to embrace it and say "I don't want to be that person."

    The intent is usually bad, but there's merit in a lot of it too.
  • DaFibble
    DaFibble Posts: 152 Member
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    50sFit wrote: »
    No, I am not at all motivated when ridiculed or made sport of.
    Here is my line nobody crosses without consequence.
    3...as in the number three.
    A guy is allowed to joke about me 3 times, and it's a joke, but once this guy goes past 3, it's no longer a joke but an attack.
    And I push back - hard!

    But, who is going to joke about you now? You look like a beast. You're more like an inspiration.

    Do you think the pushing back hard thing is like, a guy thing? As some posts here reference? Because when I get pissed off, I fight back. Its like an in-built response. My wife gets down whenever someone is critical. I want to be, like, **** everyone! You're amazing, fight back. That doesn't seem useful though.
  • NewMeowLean
    NewMeowLean Posts: 58
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    No it doesn't work for me. If the "verbal abuse" is from someone I don't care about, I will brush it off (but it still hurts a little) and forget about it. If it is from someone I care about, I would probably have a meltdown and EAT my heart out. My mum tried the tough love approach, which resulted in crying and fighting (and eating!).

    I think it is weird verbal abuse would work for someone, since it is bad for your self-confidence.
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
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    No not really but my friends mom lost 50# on what we lovingly call the " cheating husband/ divorce" diet. lol
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
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    Uh, no...
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    Nope. If I get too much criticism I remove said people from my life.

    I think it's different for men as compared to women. Women tend to be more social creatures and want to just get along and be accepted. Men are more competitive. Of course, there are various positions on the spectrum for both sexes but you get the idea.
  • DaFibble
    DaFibble Posts: 152 Member
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    stephanieluvspb wrote: »
    The intent is usually bad, but there's merit in a lot of it too.

    I don't think any obese person wants to be obese. The intent is kind of the same :)
  • mcbrainder
    mcbrainder Posts: 73 Member
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    Good point. But here's kinda an example of what I mean. Let's say I'm reading the comments section of a story about how obesity has raised the price of airplane tickets and someone comments and say "I have to pay more because these people can't stop eating." Pretty mean spirited, but I also get the point. Oftentimes, when people point out all the negatives--not just calling people fat--but showing disgust at certain habits and repurcussions, it actually impacts me in a way that makes me say "I don't want to be that way."
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 837 Member
    edited October 2014
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    The only thing that people who fat/body shame motivate me to do is kick them out of my life. :) During my younger years it might have motivated me into the fridge/McDonalds or crying into my pillow. Nowadays....Screw those people, ANYONE who does that! The only way it motivates me to better myself is by getting rid of them, which betters my environment which in turn betters myself. ;)

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  • pirate_john_75
    pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
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    Well, if it helps... Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
  • shai74
    shai74 Posts: 512 Member
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    Be careful what you mean by "motivate". To make a change in your life based on the mean opinion of someone else is not going to work long term. To think "If I was thinner, they'd be nicer to me, that girl would like me, etc" is a dangerous road. The only reason you should EVER want to do it is for you, and possibly your family, but not because they shamed you.

    Imagine if you liked a girl, and she didn't look twice at you, and you thought it was because you were fat. So you lose the weight, she still doesn't look twice at you, turns out she just doesn't like you. You get depressed because you lost weight for a false reason, give up, put it all back on again. See how it can be destructive?
  • LoryBear
    LoryBear Posts: 89 Member
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    Well, it's strange. I started dating someone back in may and because he was so physically fit, it made me want to get in better shape and I ate healthier and did moderate home exercise. And then we broke up last month, and guess what? I joined a gym almost immediately and now I'm spending a good 2-3 hours at the gym every time, and I've gained a considerable amount of muscle since I joined.

    So in a way, rejection motivated me. Sort of like a, "Well, you'll see what you're missin'. " sort of thing. Not that that's the only reason I'm working out, of course, but it certainly made me get my *kitten* in gear.
  • myheartsabattleground
    myheartsabattleground Posts: 2,040 Member
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    It motivates my fist in their mouth...
  • NikkiBubbleGum
    NikkiBubbleGum Posts: 45
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    Yeah, it motivates me a lot. My brother called me fat the other day, and I'm still feeling it. Of course, I'm not angry with him. It may hurt, but it motivates me, and reminds me why I do this. He's simply stating a fact.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
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    Nope. Not at all. Not even an ounce. On the other hand… I will move mountains for someone who shows me unconditional love and acceptance and loyalty.
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
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    I just shut down and eat anything and everything in sight. Abusive people are just looking to make themselves feel good by kicking others down.
  • Lois_1989
    Lois_1989 Posts: 6,409 Member
    edited October 2014
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    pirate_john_75 wrote: »
    Well, if it helps... Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
    love the Pythons!

    It depends on who it is I guess. If it is someone I love and care about, it won't do me any favors. If it's someone I don't know or don't care about I'll give them the one finger salute and use it as motivation.
  • HBMairi
    HBMairi Posts: 84 Member
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    I can see where you are coming from in a way... only from the point of view that if someone pisses me off, I take it out on the gym, and usually get a better workout done, but that's all.

    Bad road to go down if abuse towards you motivates you.
  • lillyrose2020
    lillyrose2020 Posts: 178 Member
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    Nope, it makes me cry and eat.
    Buying new shoes motivates me, shoes and bags. Just shopping in general.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    It has done in the past. In fact the reason I got in shape all those years ago was to try and win the heart of some random chick who wasn't interested in me. I can't even remember her name now...

    Also, it has helped "motivate" me as it has fuelled my anger which I then channelled into my training pushing me further.

    These days it doesn't motivate me at all. If someone is rude to me now I usually just roll my eyes and "pffffft."

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