Do we really need goals?

Sourceress · October 2014

When I search for motivation online and in life people tend to throw the word 'goal' back at me. I don't want to set a goal for myself. While it sets up the possibility of success, it also sets up a much larger possibility of failure. The success is nice but the failure is too much anymore. Even this very welcoming community stresses me out about setting daily goals and weekly goals and so on and so forth. It's too much. Can we not just find success in getting through sugar withdrawal? Or simply figuring out how to eat without being idiots about it?

Does anyone else get stressed out by goals?

thegreatcanook · October 2014

I was stressed by BIG goals. Smaller goals seemed more attainable. Then momentum and confidence started to build. Before I knew it, I conquered the 100lb mountain!
Feel free to add me!

besaro · October 2014

yes and no. having solid goals give me a north star, yet my path to get there might stray and veer, and I may meander, I can continue to right myself if I know what my ultimate goal is. I don't have guilt as I wander.

50sFit · October 2014

Sourceress wrote: »

When I search for motivation online and in life people tend to throw the word 'goal' back at me. I don't want to set a goal for myself. While it sets up the possibility of success, it also sets up a much larger possibility of failure. The success is nice but the failure is too much anymore. Even this very welcoming community stresses me out about setting daily goals and weekly goals and so on and so forth. It's too much. Can we not just find success in getting through sugar withdrawal? Or simply figuring out how to eat without being idiots about it?

Does anyone else get stressed out by goals?

Success and achievement can me summed up with one word: goals.
Most are too lazy and ruled by fear to set goals. Again, that's most people.
Don't join that herd. Be different.

set your goals'
make a plan
take action
stay motivated
never quit

That's how winning is done. Good Luck!

dakotababy · October 2014

Goals motivate me like nothing else. It is something I set my mind to and officially have direction. I could not imagine walking around aimlessly without going towards something.

Tell me, what is failure?

Is it going for your goal and missing...or not going at all?

This is common in some, a fear of failure. You can look it up, see what its all about. Maybe consider redefining what failure is.

InnocentLunatic · October 2014

Sourceress wrote: »

Can we not just find success in getting through sugar withdrawal? Or simply figuring out how to eat without being idiots about it?

I think both of those would count as possible goals

Not weight loss goals, but a goal all the same. I think, if being healthier is your goal, then your goal should just be "Make healthier decisions today" with the emphasis of /today/ as I think that when you "fail" one day, it makes it a lot harder to keep going the next day sometimes, but you have to remember that two wrongs don't make a right lol... or if you need something more specific, "Eat more vegetables" "Go for a walk" "Take the stairs" whatever it may be, and while some people might just think of these as steps to a goal-- all of the little steps are still goals of their own.

chadya07 · October 2014

your whole life is goals.. a goal is not exactly a plan, but it is not unlike a plan either. without a plan, one is less likely to succeed at their endeavor... but they still can. i mean... they can rely on luck or guesswork... but it is much less reliable than a plan and a goal.

if you want your results to be consistent a plan will do you good.

LeslieTSUK · October 2014

Goals are like anything else, some need them others don't, just like some some see 50% as half full, or half empty.

If your one of those people that get easily upset, and slightest little thing makes you give up?
Then don't set goals, just plod along till at such point your happy.

If your one of those people that need to aim for something,
then set an end goal.

Anyone in-between,
set mini goals, so your constantly feeling good about yourself.

Simples

ereck44 · October 2014

A dream is a goal without a plan. It's hard to be successful without a plan. You can call it a plan if the word Goal is too intimidating.

missylectro · October 2014

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.... You NEED goals so you know what road to take...

forkofpower · October 2014

Everything that you want, and deliberately try to achieve, is a goal. Eating right and beating sugar addiction are both goals.

Sourceress · October 2014

Thanks for all the kind words.

I guess my frustration is coming from not having lots of goals. My only 'goal' right now is to kick the sugar out. Beyond that becoming a different person (which is the real goal) is so far out and reachable in any manner of ways that making a plan is what seems useless. Because if I do plan it out and set those smaller steps along the way and then I fail, picking a new path seems to make more sense than starting over. The only reason that does not work is because of how long it takes my body to adjust to new nutrition patterns. At the same time, starting anything over from the beginning is logic that makes my brain angry.

And the creation of this new me will involve so many steps that again, are just arbitrary and up to me and if I fail at something I made myself do, then I look like an idiot only to myself. Which results in a less happy me. And even if I do succeed at these things I made myself do, no one cares. This also results in a less happy me.

So how do you make yourself care when no one else does?

Lounmoun · October 2014

I focus on one or two small goals. Every little positive change is a step in the right direction.

betoarango · October 2014

If you dont know where you want to go... Youll never get there...
If you cant figure out what you want to do... how do you expect to acomplish it...
Stop being afraid of failure...maybe that can be your first goal..
good luck

spirit095 · October 2014

I can understand why goals can be stressful. This is why I set small, manageable and realistic goals for myself. I find that it helps to keep me focused and on track. I guess you will need to find something that works for you. There is no one-size fits all for this. Good luck op!

SugarBabyGirl · October 2014

Why are you searching for motivation on line? Motivation comes from within. And if you have no goals how will you know when you've accomplished anything?

laughsalot785 · October 2014

I think this blog post by James Altucher explains encapsulates the need to follow a concrete "system", rather than a "goal". It's a really good read. jamesclear.com/goals-systems. I think the main take-away is to commit to a process, not a goal . . . once you've committed to a process, the goal will take care of itself.

justcat206 · October 2014

I've kept my goals rather vague to help counter against life 'getting in the way' - i.e. one of my goals is to "lift heavier" rather than "get my bench up to x lbs by x date." That way I feel proud of my progress when it happens, and I have a plan of action (keep lifting) but I don't feel like I failed if I missed a date. Same with "run faster" and "get more flexible" - they're general directions to work toward, but I'm not putting pressure on myself to make it happen right now. It's a little more specific than "get more healthy" though.

haildodger · October 2014

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston S. Churchill

Lane1012 · October 2014

If you truly want something you have to be willing to do the work. Setting smaller goals helps make the larger ones more manageable, but if you allow yourself to make excuses for failing you're really just spinning your wheels and you'd have to question whether you really want it or not. Set goals. Work hard to achieve them. Don't beat yourself up if you get off track just get back at it. Just my 2c.

999tigger · October 2014

No. Goals are important because they give us a destination which we can aim for.

Try starting off with mini goals and hit those. To pretend they dont exist is to lack direction. I dont obsess over them, I know when Im kidding myself and I try to keep the balance between being relaistic and meaningful. Golas help incentivise me to make progress.

Patttience · October 2014

I think 50sfit says it well. with his list of goal, program, etc

However, sourceless, i'm with you on the business of daily and weekly weightloss goals but that's what some people feel they need to do to make their weightloss program work. Focusing on reaching numbers at regular designated times, doesn't work for me so, having tried it a few times, i don't bother with that lot. Numbers goals like those are tricky and i find stress inducing too. I also think they can set you up for failure because they don't take into account the reality of people's lives. They treat themselves more like machine. And i think they only work at all when you are already really motivated. As soon as you hit a road bump, they cause stress and stop being a positive tool.

On the other hand, you have set a goal for yourself but do you have a program and do you come up with strategies that can help you achieve your goal. You want to kick the sugar out. (I'm presuming you mean sugar as in sweets and not in the totality of carbs).

Particularly at the beginning, its important to avoid disappointments so your strategies must fit you perfectly and your goals must be easily achievable.

When my motivation is weak, I go back to the big picture. Take your foot off the pedal a little and be kind to yourself without returning back to habitual harmful and self defeating behaviours. Whatever you can do to stay on the path is good but it should be things that you want to do and come fairly easily.

So yeah i've quit sugar that is sweets and i've cut down on white carbs too. I started in January. And my strategy has really worked for me even though i did have the goal of reaching my weightloss goal by the end of the year which was a number but it seemed fairly achievable. I never crave sweets anymore in a way that makes me want to go out and buy a chocolate bar etc. Lately i have struggled a bit with my weight goals, just as i was 2 pounds away from my big number goal.

To spare you the whole story, basically what i did to deal with it, was stop doing all the more obsessive stuff that i've been doing to keep myself focussed and that was i tired of or struggling with, such calorie counting and extra physical activity. I allowed myself to eat more and gain a bit of weight if that's what i needed to do and i looked for professional support in the form of a councillor because i've recognised and respect the link between mood and food. A low mood gives me a bingy appetite and i don't want to do anything. (These days i've I'm going to binge, it will be on nuts, and just other healthy food but never again sweets). I went back to a few basic things i need to do in order to avoid piling the weight back on and landing up at my starting point. For me these are daily weighing and noting it. Food logging on a spreadsheet on my computer. Eating a variety of quality food, especially vegetables and fruit and cooking to make it all taste good and make me happy again. Cooking vegetables - I'm not sure if there's anything more important beyond regular weighing and food logging than learning how to enjoy and love eating your vegetables. And cooking has the side benefit of keeping you on your feet and moving, takes up time and keeps boredom away. Yesterday i cooked something called badenjam min tamar-el-hind or in english, Aubergines with tamarind from a recipe book i got from the library. No boring old steamed or boiled vegetables for me thanks very much.

So for me to stay off sweets i know that my key strategy is having plenty of other good and tasty food around and eating that instead. When i'm feeling strong and motivated, i can cut back on the quantity but it comes somewhat naturally when my mood is better. Check out my diary to see the sort of food i eat.

I will just mention too that i did experiment a little with sugar free desserts (using dried fruit and often a lot of butter) and ultimately found that they were risky. Fruit, fresh or stewed, on the other hand is great. And its even better with unsweetened yoghurt and seeds.

FancyPantsFran · October 2014

Big goals yes but break it down into smaller goals. My BIG goal is to lose 60 pounds. I celebrate every 5 pound loss 12 of them and Im at 60

50sFit · October 2014

faytwain wrote: »

Big goals yes but break it down into smaller goals. My BIG goal is to lose 60 pounds. I celebrate every 5 pound loss 12 of them and Im at 60

^^^^^
(*) THIS (*)
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

LeonCX · October 2014

very interesting topic. Every time I have ever tried to lose weight, I always set up goal "timetables" - and always fail. Goals almost certainly are a double-edged sword. The whole goal idea has me thinking. At least for me, perhaps goals do more harm than good. I should make my weight loss more of a "to do" rather than a goal.

_Terrapin_ · October 2014

Does a fieldgoal kicker need uprights? OP--write them down, cut them down to size, measure them, plan it, execute. Simple. Get started.

Hadabetter · October 2014

Your goals don't need to be results oriented. Process oriented goals are perfectly legit too (and very zen). Eat a little healthier today than yesterday. Get a little more exercise burn. Be a little kinder. Don't stress, just improve a little every day.

But these things are more difficult to quantify and so, it's easier to fool yourself into thinking you are actually dong better.

_HeartsOnFire_ · October 2014

lorib642 · October 2014

It depends on the type of goal for me. Setting a time to lose x amount of weight is too much pressure for me. I don't fit in some groups that are supposed to help motivate you. I think it may be too soon, too much at once.

You are here for a reason. If you know why, you can make plans how to get there.

Liftng4Lis · October 2014

Haven't you ever heard the saying "The difference between who you are, and who you want to be is what you do"!

extraordinary_machine · October 2014

If you don't like the word "goals" may I suggest: http://www.thesaurus.com/

Do we really need goals?

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