Offended people because I didn't take a chocolate
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refuseresist wrote: »refuseresist wrote: »I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
I love this song!
Right now its easy for me to turn down food since I'm going on vacation in a few weeks, so when someone presses me, I just tell them I have to get into a swimsuit. I do not understand why people feel the need to push the issue; no means no, dammit!
Was every suit you tried too big around the thighs?
What the what?! Dude, its just an excuse I use when I don't want to eat crap and one most people don't argue with me about. Unfortunately, I won't be able to use it after my vacation.
Sorry it's from the song I quoted 'Hurt Feelings' by Flight of the Conchords. Perhaps you were thinking of a different song. My apologies. It wasn't a comment aimed at your actual thighs.0 -
I've been offending my clients so much lately! Every couple of days somebody comes in with some kind of treat and they then go around the office offering it up to people before bringing it to the kitchen. I keep refusing when I used to say yes all the time.
To top things off there's also the birthday cakes that keeps going around and recently the city of Ottawa has started their annual charity drive for the United Way so every department has their own fundraisers. I'm getting flack from my own department for not buying the chocolates and from my clients who keep asking me to buy some! Plus they keep having these "events" for fundraising which is basically centered around food. Two weeks ago they had an all you can eat icecream event for 2$, there's daily chips/pop for 1$ as an afternoon snack, and next Friday they're ordering in pizza. I keep saying no but man it's getting harder to do with all the frowns. Worst part is it's not even November yet (this thing goes on until Christmas)
So yeah, all that to say, I've started to simply shrug off the offense. I'm refusing to better my health, I don't care if they judge me for not eating that crap. I will eat what benefits me not them.0 -
Stop fussing so much about someone looking at you funny. You don't have to accept the food to be polite! Just smile, shake your head and say 'No, thank you". If they offer again, just smile, shake your head and say, "No, thank you". And then don't worry about what their faces look like. You're wasting energy.
i agree. no thank you is all that is needed.
with my mum i have to repeat the no thank you a few times but it usually does work.
offering explanations is not needed either, you just dont want it
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I've been offending my clients so much lately! Every couple of days somebody comes in with some kind of treat and they then go around the office offering it up to people before bringing it to the kitchen. I keep refusing when I used to say yes all the time.
To top things off there's also the birthday cakes that keeps going around and recently the city of Ottawa has started their annual charity drive for the United Way so every department has their own fundraisers. I'm getting flack from my own department for not buying the chocolates and from my clients who keep asking me to buy some! Plus they keep having these "events" for fundraising which is basically centered around food. Two weeks ago they had an all you can eat icecream event for 2$, there's daily chips/pop for 1$ as an afternoon snack, and next Friday they're ordering in pizza. I keep saying no but man it's getting harder to do with all the frowns. Worst part is it's not even November yet (this thing goes on until Christmas)
So yeah, all that to say, I've started to simply shrug off the offense. I'm refusing to better my health, I don't care if they judge me for not eating that crap. I will eat what benefits me not them.
see i know what i said above but yours sounds a little different. your example involves charity. In this situation you could give the money for charity without having to eat any of it.
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It's really awkward when people do that - and why do they?! There's just no need!
I usually just say I'm on a diet and trying to be good if it's friends, family or colleagues offering, and most now have learnt to respect that, or if it's a stranger I don't usually comment, it's none of their business and I'm not in control of their expectations. If I wanted to, I'd probably just say I'm intolerant (which I am, to lactose and sugar), but thanks anyway. Or you could tell them to enjoy it themselves because you can't. Either way, don't worry about it too much, you've started to view food differently to help lose weight, which is great, they haven't (or don't need to), and it's their problem not yours.0 -
I'm on the incognito diet, I tell no one, if they give me dessert i toss it someplace on the sly or if they give me free chocolate give I it to my husband later at home. the less people know about my business the less they can "advise" me as to how i should behave.0
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Haha people get onto me all the time at work for refusing donuts and pastries and cake ect, feels awkward at first, but eventually its almost second nature. I think a lot of it is because its new. Like the first few times, the ladies who enjoy bringing in baked goods got offended but now they ask and doesn't bother them at all when I say no thanks.0
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I just got some dirty and wtf type of looks cause I said no to the free piece of chocolate with the coffee I ordered ... the people behind the counter stared at me like I was an alien and were like "omg but its free!!!!!" . What is it with the obligation to eat something cause its free ? Its that
type of mentality that caused me to overeat/gain weight in the first place and that I had to unlearn per say and learn how to say No to food (which was tough).
I also hurt one of my friends feelings cause I refused a cookie from her once ...
Have you guys ever offended people due to that ? Have you even hurt relationships or how do you even respond?
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More or less what sympha01 said, there has to be more to it otherwise they dont care and its in your head. If you do care, then why> They are just strangers, take it dont take it. Not worth wasting energy on.
Also what kgeyser said above this seems a pretty healthy approach.0 -
^^^^^Offense over not accepting food offered is called "butthurt,"and it's not valid. They need to get over it.
(*) THIS (*)
God help the fool who gets offended for my refusal of junk foods.
My reaction to his reaction will offend for life!
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I just got some dirty and wtf type of looks cause I said no to the free piece of chocolate with the coffee I ordered ... the people behind the counter stared at me like I was an alien and were like "omg but its free!!!!!" . What is it with the obligation to eat something cause its free ?
I'm calling BS. Cafe employees are not going to be "offended" by a customer politely refusing free food. They might be surprised, but not offended. They don't care about you or what you think and their feelings are not engaged. I smile and say "no thanks" to free treats from people who are employed to offer them to me all the time and everybody seems to take it in stride. I am 44 years old and no one has ever acted as though I were socially "obligated" to take free food from a cafe or restaurant worker.
There's either a lot more to this story (for instance, perhaps you have a history with these workers and they already don't like you because you've earned it: you do sound like you've got a hair trigger temper), or a lot less (this simply didn't happen and you really just want to resent and blame people for offering you food that you didn't really want to turn down at all).
How deal with calorific treats offered by loved ones or colleagues without offending them is a valid question. Free food in cafes is not.
THIS... agree; it has never happened to me either.
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eh, it happens. it's an awkward moment but it tapers off and people dont even notice when you do it anymore. our new choices are even weird to us sometimes, but whatever, right? its the new normal and everyone will adjust in time and its a good thing, because its a new way of seeing you. Over time you will be someone they consider healthy, that's all. And that's what we're going for right?
I dont mind those dirty looks, because I know in the future, my good natured friends will playfully pick on me for being a healthnut or a fitness freak - which is soooo much better than something Im sensitive or insecure about
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Don't take the looks of the people behind the counter personal. Who cares what they think, anyway? As far as all the other occasions are concerned, what if you where a diabetic or were allergic to, say, chocolate or wheat or nuts. No one would say anything to you if you refused their offer. I say move on and take care of yourself and don't worry about what others think.0
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goodasgoldilox wrote: »I don't worry about refusing (or leaving) food in cafes etc. but am careful when offered food by people I know. I understand that for many, the giving of food is also an offering of love.
Refusing food offered like this -even when the refusal is explained- leaves the feeling that something much more important has been turned down.
Not everything in life is rational - feelings matter!
Luckily, we all have a good week's allowance of calories to use up and many opportunities to exercise and earn a few more, so accepting the occasional specially-baked biscuit (cookie) or slice of cake isn't going to sink an eating plan. (If whole pies and boxes of chocolates are given - my rule is to share the love as far and wide as possible!)
This.
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I was once given 2 x 'party size' chocolate birthday cakes as a surprise by someone and all just for me. Definitely a surprise! Apparently I was ungrateful and I was told that someone somewhere would have been very happy to receive them... as it is the thought that counts
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So how many times have you been offered free food and how many times have they taken offence as per the OPs description?
Would you be bothered if they did?0 -
What they think is none of your business.0
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I've frequently received dirty/incredulous looks for refusing "free food". I also got 'lectured' by a friend for declining an invitation to a beer-tasting event, because I was trying to cut down a little more before Hallowe'en.0
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People need to stop being such self-centered, hyper-sensitive crybabies. If someone declines something you offer them it doesn't automatically mean they hate you. This society is becoming ridiculous.0
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On my last job, the team was 'forced', yes forced to eat lunch every Wednesday together. There was no excuse deemed worthy enough for not eating together. They would cater food (which I appreciate - it was a nice gesture). But, I'm not a toddler, and I eat what I want, when I want. Everything they ordered was full of fat and calories. I would sit there and watch them eat, then eat my salad (or whatever) later in my office. They hated it, and said I was making them uncomfortable! I should have been the one that complained of feeling uncomfortable. But, I was on a fitness journey and my health came first.
Whatever . . . I eventually had to leave that job.
As far as the people at the coffee shops, every time I order a regular coffee at Starbucks, the guy behind the counter snickers. I guess regular coffee shouldn't be ordered in a coffee shop.
Ignore them, I don't think you're imagining their negative conduct, at all. But, whatever reason they have for acting the way they do is on them. They're the ones with the issues, not you. 0
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