How do you deal with Stress?

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izu87
izu87 Posts: 267 Member
in Motivation and Support
My guess is that most of you will reply 'By working out'. But is that all? Is working out the secret to dealing with stress?

The past few months I've had so much work related stress that I lost all of my desire to follow diets, workout plans or do anything really. Work has become from a place that I loved and looked forward to going to, to a place that causes me anxiety and simply crushes me. I guess I just never thought about how getting a promotion will change everything. From a free developer I became the manager of half of our company, responsible for our biggest products and our biggest clients. And this responsibility is making me feel like suffocating.

And I cannot stop thinking about it. I get home and my mind remains on work related issues until I run myself into a really dark place of fear, self-pity and weakness. And guess what I'd do - eat a few chocolates and go to bed at 9 o'clock. :/

But now I'm slowly getting back into it all. I'm trying to acquire the ability to turn my mind off work once I'm out of the office, but it's really hard. However, trying to start working out, making sure to eat less, reading around the forums and so on is somewhat helping. But only somewhat.

And is Working out the only secret to dealing with stress? Or you've got other tactics? I can't be the only one who feels like doing nothing when stress becomes just too much, right?
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Replies

  • Solar_Cat
    Solar_Cat Posts: 188 Member
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    There are two activities that I've found to work really, really well for stress, anxiety, and depression:

    1) Regular exercise
    2) Regular mindfulness meditation

    One or the other works a bit. Both together work really well, at least for me. YMMV.

    If you can't find a meditation or an MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction) course in your area, or if you prefer to do it yourself, here's a short reading list:

    Mindfulness for Beginners, Jon Kabat-Zinn
    Mindfulness for Dummies, Shamash Alidina
    Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Dummies, Dr. Patrizia Collard
    Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn

    The first two are more introductory; the second two more in-depth. All are highly recommended.

    Above all, try to be kind to yourself. All the best to you. I hope this helps.
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    Thanks for the recommendations. I don't think we've got courses like this around here, but I'll check those books. I've wanted to learn meditating for a while now, but I'm too impatient.

    Being kind to myself would be the hard part. I'm actually really harsh on myself... which causes maybe 80% of my stress issues...
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Being a nurse, I know about stress related anxiety. Its very difficult to turn your mind off once you've left work. I find that if I spend 20 minutes every morning reading a devotion and talking with God has helped me. Now if that is not your cup of tea the above recommendation from Solar-cat would probably work also. You should also remember to love yourself first, because your the responsible one for you physical and emotional health.
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    Religion is certainly not my thing. I do envy those that are capable of believing in something that gives them strength and will to move on. I'm more of a 'I need to believe in myself before I believe in anything else' type of person... Problem is I do not believe in myself...
  • Annahasababy
    Annahasababy Posts: 60 Member
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    Meditation. Jon kabat zinn & Eckart Tolle books. If u can get ten days off www.dhamma.org is phenomenal and life changing.

    Prayer -- whatever religion you like works.
  • Annahasababy
    Annahasababy Posts: 60 Member
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    Oh u don't like religion. Ok meditation is perfect for you.
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    I will certainly have to educate myself on the topic of meditation...
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
    edited October 2014
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    My answers are so far away from where this thread is going, but here they are since they're different and may help.

    1. Playing a video game. Sometimes it's doing Minecraft digging; sometimes is shooting the crap out of zombies in Left 4 Dead. Nothing that I need to think about.

    2. *kitten*.

    3. Eat. Not the best, but I haven't been able to stop emotionally eating. Cut back, yes. Completely stop, no.

    4. Talk about the problems with someone not involved and/or write in a journal. I rant to my husband at least once a week. He understands that it's just me blowing off steam to calm down. I do the same for him, though daily because of his job.
  • ECfromSJ
    ECfromSJ Posts: 31 Member
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    Music. I've been trying to listen to music in my car, on the way to and from work and a caregiving situation. I made a really long playlist on my ipod touch to last me a week, so I don't have to make decisions about what to play after I'm already in the car. Music seems to turn off the verbal part of my mind and help me make the transition to and from stressful situations.

    As far as meditation, UCLA has a series of guided meditations you can listen to. I like the one for getting ready to sleep. marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22 You can listen online, download, or get them through iTunes U.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
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    I'm not religious either - when I'm really stressed I do one or more of the following:
    - listen to music - whatever music it is that you can lose yourself in - music you love
    - call up a good friend and meet up
    - read a book

    I find that these things get me 'out of my head-space'
    .
    I'd add work out but you mentioned that wasn't one of your go-to's.....!
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    When I was dealing with some super serious work stuff (buying a company, going through a scandal, being outbid), I was really stressed. I couldn't work out. I just ate and drank a lot of wine and then got fat. THEN I was stressed about that.

    So, even though I couldn't do it myself-I say, go to the gym :)
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    I'm trying to stay away from games as I used to get seriously obsessed with them when I was a kid >.> Broke a 17" old school screen with a punch when I died for the Nth time in the final Half Life mission... >.> *coughs*

    For ***** I'm single... Self-***** sometimes helps though >.>

    And eating is my problem. I usually go for sweets and all of them. My personal "best" is 500g of chocolate. I felt like dying afterwards, but at least I no longer felt stressed... So... eating, until I learn how to control myself is completely out.

    Talking is another problem of mine - I bottle up everything... I do have some sort of a journal, and it helps some, but... yeah...

    Music... I think this one can help tons..
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    becky10rp wrote: »
    I'm not religious either - when I'm really stressed I do one or more of the following:
    - listen to music - whatever music it is that you can lose yourself in - music you love
    - call up a good friend and meet up
    - read a book

    I find that these things get me 'out of my head-space'
    .
    I'd add work out but you mentioned that wasn't one of your go-to's.....!

    I'm trying to make working out one of my go-to's. It was for a while, then due to holidays and business trips broke it off for a month, and after I returned the hell at work started... *sighs* I just had my first workout in months last night... If I manage to get back on track I'll be super happy, especially because it helped a lot with anxiety.

    arditarose wrote: »
    When I was dealing with some super serious work stuff (buying a company, going through a scandal, being outbid), I was really stressed. I couldn't work out. I just ate and drank a lot of wine and then got fat. THEN I was stressed about that.

    So, even though I couldn't do it myself-I say, go to the gym :)

    I workout at home. No good gyms around my home or my workplace. Plus I'm too anxious to go to one...
  • deladypilot
    deladypilot Posts: 618 Member
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    I have found that taking a bubble bath, doing my nails etc helps me to relax and feel better about myself. Just do something you enjoy if that is exercise great if that is reading great. What ever takes your mind off of everything else for a while
  • izu87
    izu87 Posts: 267 Member
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    I think this is my main problem - I don't know what might take my mind off everything else. I've never been able to just stop thinking. And my tendencies to get anxious/depressive usually get my mind to think on high speed about all that makes me feel negative. -___-'
  • Samstan101
    Samstan101 Posts: 699 Member
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    I run, it may take a mile, it may take me 10 but I always find at some point my mind clears and the stress goes. I either find a solution to a problem or it becomes less important with each step and breathe. I guess its kind of a meditation for me.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
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    For stress i go see my councillor. If i had your sort of stress, well some stress is to be expected while you settle into the demands of the new role. But if after some time the stress never let up and you didn't feel more comfortable in the role i'd say go back to your other job.

    I hate stress. But i understand a little bit is healthy because that's often when we are growing. If its not a growth situation i.e. where you are learning new tasks, then maybe you need to find ways to solve the situation.

    But anyway i like going to someone to nut things out with them. Maybe some sort of mentor or coach would have helped you cope a lot better.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    I work out daily, does it relieve my stress? Nope. I'm a ball of it all the time and not the meditation type. I think it definitely helps, but some of us are just bound to be stressed, which in turn ups our cortisol levels, which is counter productive to weight loss and in turn causes more stress.
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
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    Bourbon. :D

    Seriously though. Think about the Serenity prayer...even if you are not religious, there is a lot of wisdom in this short prayer. AA, Al-Anon, NA, GA, and many other self-help organizations use this prayer to open or close meetings as well:

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference.

    Ask yourself if you can change what is giving you stress.
    If so, tackle the problem.
    If not, stressing over it changes nothing.

  • Ming1951
    Ming1951 Posts: 514 Member
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    My daughter bought me a set of bose headphones. I have a pretty good library of songs on my phone. When I am really stressed and my mind is Messed up I put them on and listen to music while I walk or ride a bike. I just take an hour or so to myself listening to music. Even if the weather is bad and for now I don't have any excersize equipment at home or belong to a gym I just put those headphones on and wile about, lol. I find music soothing to the soul, and it doesn't matter what kind. Afterward my "zone" is in a much better place.

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