Does anyone else keep their weight loss a secret?

MintyStarshine
MintyStarshine Posts: 91
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
I'm currently dieting and I've done so in the past but I don't want to tell people about it, especially my mother. My mother thinks she knows everything there is to know about dieting. She's also convinced that my blood sugar, cholesterol, and blood pressure are through the roof, despite my recent check-up that gave me a clean bill of health except for blood sugar that was only THREE points above "average" and probably only due to all that freaking orange juice and gummie bears I'd had the night before. She thinks I have a serious condition every time that I have a headache. No joke. If I mention that I'm dieting, she gives me the third degree and then will question me almost ferociously any time that I call her afterwards, like she's the weight-loss police. Just because my dad requires a special diet does not make her a nurse, doctor, dietician or otherwise but she feels that it qualifies her.

A friend of mine, who had gastric bypass surgery, goes into an information vomit mode whenever I mention it to her. She tells me about every single process that she went through to lose the 50lbs that the doctors required of her before they would perform the surgery.

If I mention it to my brother, it becomes a competition to him that usually ends in grunts and sneers and a lie about his current weight, which, for some reason, is always about 5lbs less than whatever number I say. He also thinks that eating huge one-a-day meals at a fast-food joint is dieting.

My dad and sister have always been supportive, same goes for my husband.

But I feel that I can't share that I'm dieting or losing weight to some (most) people without being bombarded with tips and tricks, told that I need to do the latest fad diet because it works, told that I have a chronic illness, not having support, or be interrogated about every calorie that I eat.

ARGHGHALASLFH

Ok... end of rant lol

Replies

  • richiefixo
    richiefixo Posts: 104 Member
    i used to until recently when everybody started noticing then it became silly of me to be like " oh no im not on a diet!" lol
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    I haven't kept it a secret from anyone, everyone is pretty supportive. (Unless they're not telling me that they're sick of hearing my calorie counts for the day! haha)

    I understand you not wanting to bring it up to people who pester you. Don't do it! If they bring it up noticing how much success you've had, just say, "Yea, and I did it my own way too!"

    And if the doctor says you're ok, you are ok!
  • lorisowers
    lorisowers Posts: 64
    I know what you mean. I have been on so many diets before and I seem to always backslide. I have at times not wanted anyone to know, but I have learned that is the fastest way to gain weight back. I think that you should tell the people around you that you are Changing your eating habits so they can support you. If you really just don't think you can tell the people around you this is a great place to start. Good luck to you.
  • steffyjomartin
    steffyjomartin Posts: 15
    I do not tell anyone that I am dieting becuase as you stated it either becomes a competition or a load ot tips and tricks. What I like to do is just go about my normal dialy activities, while secretly working out and counting calories. Then when someone compliments me on how i look then and only then do I tell them what I have been doing. My recent inspiration is my sister-in-law becuase she has lost like 50 pounds and looks AWESOME!!!
  • Lipvanmeier26
    Lipvanmeier26 Posts: 46
    so sorry that you don't have the much needed and deserved support. If you would like to add me as a friend I will be glad to be encouraging and supportive for you.... I understand about people who think they know everything there is to know about dieting, exercise or anything else health related I have found that this site is great for support information and great friends... Good Luck to you I'm cheering you on
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    I find it easier not to mention it. Because, if you say "no thank you, I'm not in the mood for pizza or I just ate", people will tend to shrug their shoulders and say o.k. If you say "no thank you, I'm on a diet" they try to shove it down your throat. *just an observation*
  • Gemini_at_36
    Gemini_at_36 Posts: 207
    So yes, sometimes it is just nice to keep it to myself. For example, I have decided on gastric bypass and only 2 people at work now. That is the 2 people that I have told. A few others know because of the preop stuff. One of the two that I told actually had gastric bypass and I talked to her about it. The other person is skinny but a good friend/co worker. So yes, sometimes it's just nice to keep it to myself, like something that I'm chewing on (forgive the wording).
  • Bub3les0
    Bub3les0 Posts: 47
    I hear you loud and clear! So annoying, people ask me what my "secret" is now that I can't hide my weight loss from them anymore and get pissed off or dont believe me when I tell them its cals in cals out. So I prefer to just say nothing and enjoy the rewards quietly. My frinds on this site are always great though! Good luck with your journey :) P.S it doesnt matter how much I loose my mom will always think I have high blood pressure ;)
  • timeforme23
    timeforme23 Posts: 461
    Your weight loss is about YOU. Its not just about losing weight, its about finding yourself. Other people dont have to be a part of that, especially if theyre gonna bring you down. If you want, were all here to support you. Good luck on your journey :-)
  • Armymom44
    Armymom44 Posts: 76
    First you have to call it a life change not diet diet is a temperary life change is forever you do for you to make your self happy
  • FairyMiss
    FairyMiss Posts: 1,812 Member
    hell with i the struggles i have i dont hide it I shout it. besides sofar all the people around me have been supportive and helpful.
  • soni_me
    soni_me Posts: 95 Member
    I have told my mother, but I'm trying to motivate her to start moving, too. My husband is supportive. Other than that, I feel like I'll just wait and see when people start to notice the weight loss, because I'm determined to get to MY goal weight and keep it off. I don't really want other people's input either unless they have some workout tips (if I ask).
  • Ahzuri
    Ahzuri Posts: 272 Member
    I don't ever bring it up in regular conversation but if someone mentions they'd like to lose weight (and don't know how or request my advice) or something I'll talk to them about it if they want to.
  • BeckyKSmith
    BeckyKSmith Posts: 212 Member
    Who cares what they think.....MFP is the BEST "diet" or er em, "life style change" I have ever done. I have made great friends in my same shoes! Weight watchers is once a week and you don't really have any friends there, only old ladies who won't shut up about the new recipe they tried. Plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MFP is free!! You can't beat it. I just figure that once I have lost my 73 pounds, they won't be giving me tips, they'll be asking me!!! Yes! That will happen! Yeeehaaaaw!
  • brenda_71
    brenda_71 Posts: 151
    If I were you I would just stick to this program of tracking you food and exercise and when they start noticing the weight come off, you can tell them you're doing it the right way. That it's not a diet it's a life style change! Good luck to you girl!!
  • supermom4abcd
    supermom4abcd Posts: 151 Member
    I work in an office where every woman is a size 6 or smaller...except me. I didn't want to tell them at first, but then my weight loss showed. I still don't talk about it. (Some things are better left with the supportive people at MFP!)
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
    This is something you've got to do for you and nobody else.
    It's hard no to let other people get in the way sometimes.

    My ex-boyfriend thought he was being encouraging but his attitudes sabotaged my efforts tremendously (at the time I blamed it on my own lack of sticktuitiveness. But I think a lot of food issues come down to control issues. If he's going to tell me what to do I'm going to rebel even if it's what I actually want to do.)

    Anyhow I didn't tell anyone until they started noticing the weight come off.
    By that time I could say I what I'm doing is working for me.
    I'm just focusing on eating a little healthier, and I just happened to lose some weight because of it.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Hi! This is my first post. I just started.

    I really wish I would stop telling people because everyone wants to tell you how they did it and noone really cares how you are doing it for yourself. Unfortunately, when I get excited about things I want to tell the world. As a result I get lectures about eating too many carbs, not exercising enough, or they have some other better way that I just have to try and its the only way that is going to work for me. I'm not going to get discouraged this time though so maybe I will learn to stop telling people. Or maybe when I lose enough weight they will just shut up.

    Best of luck!!
  • shawnahcg
    shawnahcg Posts: 1
    I usually keep mine a secret from the people around me because I'm in some kind of "fatty denial" like if I mention I am dieting, then I'm calling attention to the fact that I need to lose weight. I always feel like maybe these people think I'm looking good... so why shine a light on my flaws. lol... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I also get really annoyed when people ask me if I've lost weight... because it makes me feel like they thought I was huge before. One of my customers mentioned the other day that it looks like I've lost weight. I replied, "yeah a little" and she says, " no, you lost A LOT"... and instead of feeling proud of all my hard work I felt kind of offended. We all have our hang ups I guess.
    I do love sharing my diet talk with others on my diet though. I'm on the hcg plan and I've found a great group of fellow dieters online that can all share our progress, tips, and recipes with each other. No competition, just support. It's fun when you have someone to get excited with you. Hopefully, you've been able to find at least 1 person you can share with who will not give you a hard time. Best of luck !!!
  • FILLE
    FILLE Posts: 45
    When people notice my weigh loss and they ask me what diet I am on... I tell them I am not on a diet I am starting to eat heathly. I think this stops them in their tracks... lol, I am motivated to change the way I was eating. I hope you find the support you need, add me as friend if you want. I will send you encouraging words and you could do the same for me. This site has been fantastic since I have started to add friends. take care and have a great journey!
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
    My friends are supportive but I can identify with the mother stuff. My mother dwells in the hypochondriac land. She has had medical problems but consistently believes she has some horrible disease. She is 95 and has seen 4 of her five children, husband and all brothers and sisters die before her. For years it has been "well I don't think I'll be here next year (week, month, day...). My daighter and I have learned to laugh about it but sometimes she does still push a button or two.

    Shake your head and say "uh huh", then run home and get on the computer with your MFP friends!
  • carolinagirl919
    carolinagirl919 Posts: 54 Member
    Bumping for future reference.
  • mrshoffman07
    mrshoffman07 Posts: 121
    I do not tell any in my life outside of the house due to so many negative comments. For instance you run too fast or too slow. You should not be working out like that. Funny thing all the comments come from FAT people who do not workout. Why so negative? Life is one chane at least try to enjoy it no matter how much it can suck at times.
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