Me vs The Scale

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  • stacyjh1979
    stacyjh1979 Posts: 188 Member
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    I guess I should have also addressed the original topic...I can understand both sides. I have no doubt your fiancee is well meaning in taking and hiding your scale but you are an adult and if you don't want to work on your ED no one can force you into it. Maybe talk to him about a compromise like he can put your scale out in the morning and you can weigh yourself first thing after you pee before you eat or exercise and then he puts it up until the next morning or something like that. There needs to be a healthy balance on both sides so no one is getting 100% what they want but instead something you can both live with.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
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    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    I know he means well. Its just really hard for me. I like to see my weight go down durring the day. Thats why I do it. But I weigh myself 1. when i get up 2. after i workout 3. after my shower 4. when i go home for lunch 5. when i get home after work 6. after my pm workout. 7. after supper 8. before bed..... :( Then I cry because i "gained" 2+ lbs

    Yeah, I'd hide your scale too. That's absolutely ridiculous. You need some professional help, because your eating disorder is anything but "former." It's clearly alive and well.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    Well I kinda wanted people to tell me that I was right for being upset. But the more comments and the more I type in response I just feel horrible and pathetic. Just kinda validating that I have a problem i guess...

    Your fiance loves you and is worried about you. Your extremely lucky to have someone in your life who cares that much. Most single women (like me) would give anything to be with someone like that.

    Please seek treatment for your ED issues before he gives up on you.

    Listen, I had a boss about 10 years ago who divorced his first with because he couldn't deal with her eating disorder any more. If you don't want that happening to you then get help.

    Sorry if I sound mean ;) I'm just giving you some tough love.

  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    Well I kinda wanted people to tell me that I was right for being upset. But the more comments and the more I type in response I just feel horrible and pathetic. Just kinda validating that I have a problem i guess...

    Well, you DO have a right to be upset. It's how you feel. Does that mean that the situation is wrong and that your actions are healthy? Not necessarily. Still doesn't negate that you are allowed to feel as you do. Talk to your fiance about it. If you're unable to weigh yourself once in the AM and that's it, without the urge to keep weighing yourself, then havinga limit on it would probably be helpful. Maybe once a week instead.
  • spulsifer92
    spulsifer92 Posts: 36
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    Everyone has very good advice, I appreciate it. I am trying to get better. But like everyone is saying, i cant do it alone. I need help from a professional. I understand that. I just don't want people to think any less of me or that im "crazy".
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    I don't have one....

    ok, then i would go to a doctor and tell them you are relapsing into your ED.

    +1
  • stacyjh1979
    stacyjh1979 Posts: 188 Member
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    You're not crazy, an ED is a legitimate illness. There are always going to be people who look down on illnesses like ED, addiction, anxiety, depression and other mental health issues because they are either not educated on the illness or they are just set in their way and don't want to learn and they will view those people as "weak, lazy, crazy, etc". If people do think less of you what's the worst that can happen? Do those people really matter? You have people (at least one, your fiancee) who not only loves you but wants to try to help treat your illness. He doesn't know what else to do. Do what you need to do for yourself so you can find true inner peace and happiness. Keep in mind this saying we use in AA: "What other people think of me is none of my business" What they think is on them it doesn't have anything to do with you.
  • LeahFerri
    LeahFerri Posts: 186 Member
    edited October 2014
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    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    Everyone has very good advice, I appreciate it. I am trying to get better. But like everyone is saying, i cant do it alone. I need help from a professional. I understand that. I just don't want people to think any less of me or that im "crazy".

    Is there a reason anyone (other than your fiancé, who clearly already knows something is up) has to know? I didn't even tell my family when I went into therapy, although I knew I would have to tell them eventually when the free sessions my university offers every student ran out. When someone asks me if I can do something during that hour, I just say I have a meeting (if they ask when I say no). Nobody ever presses. I know the meeting excuse probably doesn't work as well in other environments, but there are other reasonable excuses.

    I think you're more worried about thinking less of yourself--thinking you should be able to deal with this on your own. But you can't, and even if you could, you don't have to.
  • spulsifer92
    spulsifer92 Posts: 36
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    I guess no one has to know... I dint really think of that. i dont know why...
  • kangaroux92
    kangaroux92 Posts: 188 Member
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    ask him to help you by doing baby steps tell him to let you way once a day for a week or 2 then once every 2 days for a week and so on less and less until you can only have to do it once a week. tell him you cant cut it cold turkey and i think thats reasonable steps in the right direction. i also weight my self alot i never had a disorder just a bad habit i guess.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    Everyone has very good advice, I appreciate it. I am trying to get better. But like everyone is saying, i cant do it alone. I need help from a professional. I understand that. I just don't want people to think any less of me or that im "crazy".

    you're not crazy, but you are ill... if you had a broken leg, would you try and fix that on your own?
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    weight is the least significant metric in monitoring your health and fitness level... STOP!!! measure yourself... arms, legs, hips, waist, neck... any body part you can get a tape around... the ONLY reason folks use a scale is because it is simply the easiest most convenient guideline... weighing yourself multiple times/day only encourages you to deprive yourself of food and water... THAT will stress your internals and ultimately lead to damage to all your vitals... soon... you'll grow weak and lethargic... then... malnutrition will set in... your hair will begin to fall out... your skin will become dry and chapped...depression will set in... it's a grim picture... food is necessary to maintain all your body's natural processes... and exercise is necessary to ensure all those processes function optimally... change you thought process from .. weight.. to fit... your body image should be tied to what you can accomplish physically not on the effects gravity has on your body... gravity is a variable.. it depends on so many different things... even the moon cycle will alter your weight... and so too will your menstrual cycle... the ONLY thing that influences your fitness level is your heart.. and your drive to accomplish... THAT is control...
  • spulsifer92
    spulsifer92 Posts: 36
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    So your saying measuring in inches is better then in lbs?
  • LeahFerri
    LeahFerri Posts: 186 Member
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    spulsifer92 wrote: »
    So your saying measuring in inches is better then in lbs?

    I think the idea is that yes, if you want a numeric metric, body measurements are more meaningful than scale weight. I think the more important part of the post, though, was the emphasis on fitness. What you can accomplish with your body rather than what size it is.

    But as with any numeric metric, too much focus on it isn't good for mental health.
  • spulsifer92
    spulsifer92 Posts: 36
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    Right.... hm... I do exercise 2 times a day. I tend to over eat at night and then get upset with the number on the scale
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
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    You weigh too much, that's why he has done it. He is trying to help you.

    You should only weigh once a week anyway, your weight fluctuates so much, you would drive yourself mad constantly jumping on there.

    Give yourself a break from the scales, then say to him your weigh once a week.

    Eating healthy, and exercise is healthy - A bad relationship with the scales isn't!

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