Daunting.
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rbfdac
Posts: 1,057 Member
I was told "read the success stories, it'll motivate you!", so I did. Now I only find this process even more daunting. For two reasons:
1. I'll admit it. I'm jealous. I'm jealous that all of these people have finished losing weight and look great. I'm jealous that I didn't start a long time ago and that I could be where they are now, but I'm not. I don't feel motivation, I feel jealousy. Wrong emotion, here.
2. When I read a story and look at the pics and start to feel slightly motivated i.e "Oh, look! They lost 75, 100 lbs! I can too. I got this!", I then read the part where they say "When I started my journey TWO years ago"..... and find myself wanting to melt into a puddle and cry. A year, I think I can do, but I'm not even sure of that! After all, my son is almost a year old now and the time has flown by so fast, it's unbelievable, so maybe. Two years, I can't even comprehend and find quite daunting. If anything could make me run from this lifestyle change, it's probably the word "years".
I understand that two years of my life spent getting healthy is nothing compared to the increased quality of life and additional possible years added on to my life. I understand it took me a hell of a lot longer than a year or two to put on this weight. I also understand that this is a lifestyle change and, therefore, shouldn't be looked at as "Two years of eating healthy" and be quite so daunting. Yet, it is. I think I can handle this lifestyle long term. I am not starving, I eat plenty and whatnot, so that part is okay. But the feeling that I am going to have to function in this fat body, just waiting patiently for the pounds to shed and reveal my nicer body is just.......... ugh.
I want to say "Show me all of the success stories where you lost 75 pounds in six months so I feel better about the road ahead and can be super motivated", but instead I'm going to request some support from those of you who have made it that far. Did you ever feel this way? Did you ever find this process daunting? How in the world were you okay with your "body under construction" for the months, year, years it took to get there??
1. I'll admit it. I'm jealous. I'm jealous that all of these people have finished losing weight and look great. I'm jealous that I didn't start a long time ago and that I could be where they are now, but I'm not. I don't feel motivation, I feel jealousy. Wrong emotion, here.
2. When I read a story and look at the pics and start to feel slightly motivated i.e "Oh, look! They lost 75, 100 lbs! I can too. I got this!", I then read the part where they say "When I started my journey TWO years ago"..... and find myself wanting to melt into a puddle and cry. A year, I think I can do, but I'm not even sure of that! After all, my son is almost a year old now and the time has flown by so fast, it's unbelievable, so maybe. Two years, I can't even comprehend and find quite daunting. If anything could make me run from this lifestyle change, it's probably the word "years".
I understand that two years of my life spent getting healthy is nothing compared to the increased quality of life and additional possible years added on to my life. I understand it took me a hell of a lot longer than a year or two to put on this weight. I also understand that this is a lifestyle change and, therefore, shouldn't be looked at as "Two years of eating healthy" and be quite so daunting. Yet, it is. I think I can handle this lifestyle long term. I am not starving, I eat plenty and whatnot, so that part is okay. But the feeling that I am going to have to function in this fat body, just waiting patiently for the pounds to shed and reveal my nicer body is just.......... ugh.
I want to say "Show me all of the success stories where you lost 75 pounds in six months so I feel better about the road ahead and can be super motivated", but instead I'm going to request some support from those of you who have made it that far. Did you ever feel this way? Did you ever find this process daunting? How in the world were you okay with your "body under construction" for the months, year, years it took to get there??
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Replies
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This is how I approach it: lose a pound, smile, repeat. I don't really compare myself with others. It is nice to read about their journeys, but I know what I want, and I know I will get it. They are not something better than you or I. They have been working hard to acheive their goals. The lessons they teach us is to work hard, don't stop, and never give up. So, if you want to keep going on your journey, help someone stay on theirs. Motivate them.0
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I mean this in the most supportive way - stop thinking about this in terms of something that will end. That way it doesn't matter if it's days, months, years, decades. Think about this in terms of making better choices today than you did yesterday rather than losing weight. The losing weight is almost a by product of making better choices. You want to be healthy for the rest of your life. Not just to lose a finite amount of weight in a finite period of time. Here's to the new you!0
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Well, I'm not there yet but I have been on this journey since January (July of really trying and being 100% accountable) and I get upset because my pants have only gone down 1 size and I have only lost 30lbs which in the grand scheme of 200lbs feels like nothing but...but..
Then, I do something like realizing I can squat half my own body weight/my goal weight
My husband tells me it is incredibly sexy that I can heavylift and swim a mile
My mom tells me how proud she is of me for even trying when she doesn't feel like she can
People at work ask me if I have lost weight
My male coworkers look shocked when I tell them I do heavy lifting
I no longer have back pain and can sleep the whole night through
it is all these little things that help me stay motivated, I won't lie its not a straight downward trend in weightloss, its more like hills and valleys some weeks I am really good and others I derail myself but the point is each time I get back on track and feel good. Thats what keeps me going honestly it will probably take me 3 yrs to weigh what I want longer, if I have a baby in there somewhere (hope so!) but the point is everyday I am taking a step forward.0 -
Those two years are going to pass anyway. At the end of them, you can either be at your current weight (or higher), or you could lose 75 pounds.0
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Yes. It's daunting. Especially if you think of it as a X year commitment.
Did you graduate high school? College? How long did that take you? Did you decide at the beginning "screw it, it takes too long?" Nope. You knew it had to be done so you buckled down and got it done. It may not have always been easy, but you dealt with it.
Parenthood? You're going to be dealing with difficulties in raising a child for the next....oh 18 years. Did that stop you? Nope. Is your life going to benefit from your work? Yup.
Look, sorry if I'm not all warm and fuzzy. I'm a "suck it up" kind of gal. It's helped me lose 90 lbs (in 18 months), have a child, then come back here and lose 45 lbs in 4.5 months. My only regret is waiting until my son was 4 to get the weight off.
This journey is filled with more emotional challenges than physical, just like my above examples. You say the first year of your son's life has flown by....why do you think your weight loss journey will be any different? Just think, once you're at your goal weight, you'll look back and think "well that didn't take long".
Start today
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Haven't lost a significant amount of weight yet but I felt SUPER daunted when I realised I have 60lbs to lose. That's what an 8 year old child weighs ._.
I have overcome it by breaking it into smaller goals - and reaching towards/celebrating the nearest one. Take each month as a new challenge - Oct/Nov/Dec are great months to teach yourself the discipline to eat 'well' but not overeat during the holidays. And try to notice/focus on the small changes - it only took a few pounds for my pants to fit better when I sit down, tops got a bit looser, my winter coat fit better than it did last year, etc.
I am also trying to see the niceness of my body right now. I am a lot stronger than before, I can carry all the groceries up the stairs to our apartment in one trip! I feel lean under my fat-suit, so to speak. Just thinking about how fat you are right now, or how you will 'still' be fat in 6 months is just gonna make you want to give up as soon as it gets hard.
The next two years is going to pass anyway, whether you do this or not. You can either be 75+lbs overweight at your son's next birthday party, or you can be 30-50lbs lighter and much closer to your goal
Good luck on your journey!
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Just go with it. It will feel like your not losing but even before you cross the finish line occasionally you will look in the mirror and be really impressed with the progress you have made even after a month or two. Don't compare yourself with others if you want it bad enough youll easily hit your goals.
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Exactly! Well said! Think of it as a commitment to being healthy that starts today and lasts a lifetime. If you think there's an endpoint, you're subtly setting yourself up to relax the commitment when you reach a goal.IHateThinkingOfAUsername wrote: »I mean this in the most supportive way - stop thinking about this in terms of something that will end. That way it doesn't matter if it's days, months, years, decades. Think about this in terms of making better choices today than you did yesterday rather than losing weight. The losing weight is almost a by product of making better choices. You want to be healthy for the rest of your life. Not just to lose a finite amount of weight in a finite period of time. Here's to the new you!
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Those two years are going to pass anyway. At the end of them, you can either be at your current weight (or higher), or you could lose 75 pounds.
Agree 100%! If I'm having a bad day (or WEEK!) I remind myself to chill out, take a breath and keep going. Even if I only lose 10 pounds in the next year, it's way better than gaining who knows how many. It's hard being fat and it's hard getting fit. Pick your hard.0 -
One thing that I'm really enjoying right now is making a new "Just for today " list. Today my list was "Just for today: I'm not going to have any snacky food and I will drink lots of water. " Sometimes I have up to four things on my list, and today I kept it simple. It really helps to break it down day by day. Also, life someone else said, the time is going to pass anyways, the question is where do you want to be a year from now? Keep it up! You can do it!!0
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This is how I wrapped my head around having a healthier life: First I started drinking 8 glasses of water a day. Sounds like no big deal, right? But I lost weight because of it. Then I made a committment to eat 6 fruits and veggies a day. I still ate junk food and cookies and everything else I loved but I ALSO ate those veggies. And I lost weight because of it. Then one day I walked around the block....then two blocks....and so forth. I am up to 4 miles a day, now. I just made real gradual adjustments. And I lost weight. Then I added portion control. And lifting weights. And I look at ALL of those things as being something I have to do to stay healthy. Just like brushing my teeth. Did it take a long time? Hell, yeah! Almost 2 years because I lost an average of 1/2 to 1 lb a week. The important thing is consistency. And committment. And realizing that you are human and imperfect and you will stumble just like everyone here. As long as you are willing to pick yourself up and keep trying, you WILL get there. You just have to really want it enough to take those first baby steps and then keep going. Being healthy is a one day at a time kind of a thing. We are here for you. Add me if you want.0
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"Pick your hard." I LOVE that! Brilliant!Jaywalker_7 wrote: »Those two years are going to pass anyway. At the end of them, you can either be at your current weight (or higher), or you could lose 75 pounds.
Agree 100%! If I'm having a bad day (or WEEK!) I remind myself to chill out, take a breath and keep going. Even if I only lose 10 pounds in the next year, it's way better than gaining who knows how many. It's hard being fat and it's hard getting fit. Pick your hard.
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I spent 5 years doing an overhaul of a different kind. 5 years before I finally felt like I was in a good enough place that I could move into "MAINTENENCE." It was agonizing and painful and miserable. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And pretty much everyday, and multiple times a day for 5 years I told myself "I give up." And everyday I told myself "I can't give up." At some times I felt like I was in an even worse spot than I was when I started. And I wondered why I was even bothering to try since it *obviously* wasn't working. I even had others ask me the same question. Time and time again... When I thought about it, my answer was always the same. "If this is where I'm at when I'm actually trying.... Imagine where I'd be if I stopped... Or never started."
That thought is something I hold on to during THIS overhaul. No matter how frustrated I get when the scale doesn't want to move, or when a workout seems to kick my butt particularly bad, or when I look down at my body and still see all this fat that's still there.... I remember that... If this is where I'm at when I'm actually trying, imagine where I'd be if I stopped... Or never started. And I keep going... For one more day. Or maybe only for one more hour. Then I have to tell myself that again.
It can be daunting if you look it like that.... How far you still have to go. How long it will take... Or has taken so far. Change your way of thinking. Think of making just one change. And start with the easiest one for you. And just do that. Start with intermediate goals... Just losing 5 pounds. Or set goals by time. "I'll do this for one week." Then reevaluate. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your small successes. Pay attention to how you feel. The process itself can be rewarding as you start feeling better.
And if it helps at all... I've lost 87 pounds in 6 months. It is possible. Don't give up on something because of how long it will take... The time will pass anyway. And definitely don't give up before you even get started.0 -
I agree so much with lots of what has been said already - especially the 'split your goal up' thing. I started out at 212 and my first goal was to get under 200, then when I weighed in at 198 my goal was to lose 30lbs total. I reached that goal today, and now my goal is to be between 160-165 by Christmas/New Years. This way you feel small successes all along the way.
And it really isn't the sort of thing where you'll feel crappy until the whole 75 is gone. Sure, I still think I look big and I can't wait to fit into a size 12 again and etc, but I've gone down two sizes in pants already, and each time the smaller size fit I felt awesome. Plus, I already have way more energy and feel stronger. Plus, I feel accomplished just making my meals at home every day because that isn't something we used to do. PLUS, those days when my son is tired, fussy, and clingy, I don't tire out nearly as much if I have to hold him all day and I don't get close to as frustrated as I used to. It's changed my attitude as well, and even though I'm not 'there' yet, and I have a ways to go, there are lots of benefits. And there will be for you too!0 -
Yes. It's daunting. Especially if you think of it as a X year commitment.
Did you graduate high school? College? How long did that take you? Did you decide at the beginning "screw it, it takes too long?" Nope. You knew it had to be done so you buckled down and got it done. It may not have always been easy, but you dealt with it.
Parenthood? You're going to be dealing with difficulties in raising a child for the next....oh 18 years. Did that stop you? Nope. Is your life going to benefit from your work? Yup.
Look, sorry if I'm not all warm and fuzzy. I'm a "suck it up" kind of gal. It's helped me lose 90 lbs (in 18 months), have a child, then come back here and lose 45 lbs in 4.5 months. My only regret is waiting until my son was 4 to get the weight off.
This journey is filled with more emotional challenges than physical, just like my above examples. You say the first year of your son's life has flown by....why do you think your weight loss journey will be any different? Just think, once you're at your goal weight, you'll look back and think "well that didn't take long".
Start today
Sew Very True! Happy for you! AWESOME!!!0 -
AA has a phrase that I think of when it comes to this, take it one day at a time.
"Can i do this, TODAY?" is a question you'll have to ask yourself every day. don't think about the year or 2. After all, if you are planning on living past the next year, the time is going to pass anyway. Either the time will pass and you've used it to melt away extra pounds, or you won't and you'll be right where you are today, cursing yourself for not starting a year ago.0 -
IHateThinkingOfAUsername wrote: »I mean this in the most supportive way - stop thinking about this in terms of something that will end. That way it doesn't matter if it's days, months, years, decades. Think about this in terms of making better choices today than you did yesterday rather than losing weight. The losing weight is almost a by product of making better choices. You want to be healthy for the rest of your life. Not just to lose a finite amount of weight in a finite period of time. Here's to the new you!
This, exactly... I agree, the whole process is daunting, but what do you really have to lose? Time is going to pass anyways, why not make the most of it? Make better choices, live your life to the fullest, eventually the sizes will drop off, and before you know it - years have passed and you are living a full life.
Just put one foot in front of the other. (((Hugs)))
D~0 -
I was told "read the success stories, it'll motivate you!", so I did. Now I only find this process even more daunting. For two reasons:
1. I'll admit it. I'm jealous. I'm jealous that all of these people have finished losing weight and look great. I'm jealous that I didn't start a long time ago and that I could be where they are now, but I'm not. I don't feel motivation, I feel jealousy. Wrong emotion, here.
2. When I read a story and look at the pics and start to feel slightly motivated i.e "Oh, look! They lost 75, 100 lbs! I can too. I got this!", I then read the part where they say "When I started my journey TWO years ago"..... and find myself wanting to melt into a puddle and cry. A year, I think I can do, but I'm not even sure of that! After all, my son is almost a year old now and the time has flown by so fast, it's unbelievable, so maybe. Two years, I can't even comprehend and find quite daunting. If anything could make me run from this lifestyle change, it's probably the word "years".
I understand that two years of my life spent getting healthy is nothing compared to the increased quality of life and additional possible years added on to my life. I understand it took me a hell of a lot longer than a year or two to put on this weight. I also understand that this is a lifestyle change and, therefore, shouldn't be looked at as "Two years of eating healthy" and be quite so daunting. Yet, it is. I think I can handle this lifestyle long term. I am not starving, I eat plenty and whatnot, so that part is okay. But the feeling that I am going to have to function in this fat body, just waiting patiently for the pounds to shed and reveal my nicer body is just.......... ugh.
I want to say "Show me all of the success stories where you lost 75 pounds in six months so I feel better about the road ahead and can be super motivated", but instead I'm going to request some support from those of you who have made it that far. Did you ever feel this way? Did you ever find this process daunting? How in the world were you okay with your "body under construction" for the months, year, years it took to get there??
Yes it is a long journey! But it will be a journey you never forget! I AM still on that journey! SEAMS like I have been on it SEW very long! I started Sept of last year! My ride was all up and down between 10 pounds for the first 10
Mostly up! Then one morning I woke up and realized my sick and tired got and sick and tired! I decided it was life or death time!!! I decided to be SEW serious, SEW focused, SEW accountable, SEW true to myself. I put my self at the top of the list! Instead of not being on the list at all. I had to re-prioritize my daily routine and put my self first in everything, including my husband, children, grandchildren, cooking, cleaning, I DO MEAN EVERYTHING! FINALLY MY WEIGHT STARTED TO GO DOWN AND KEEP GOING DOWN! I FINALLY GOT OF THAT ROLLER COASTER! I dropped my calorie intake to 1200 daily and pumped up the exercise! (you can't do one with out the other)! I AM still on my journey, but now it SEAMS SEW doable! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! This has made me SEW much more determined and confident! (Regardless of how long my journey will be ... UGH!...) I SEW KNOW I WILL MAKE IT TO THE END! I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!! SEW DON'T BE DISCOURAGED DON'T GIVE UP! YOU WILL MAKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME! YOU FULL OF LIFE AND LOVE FOR YOU FAMILY!!! 0 -
I agree with all the posters and will add this: You won't go from fat to lean in one day two years from now. Every week, starting from now, will be better than the last week until you reach your goal. So you will be rewarded all along the way. You may start 100lbs from your goal, then 80, then 50, then 10... etc. And you will look and feel better along the way.
I have lost weight so I KNOW it can be done and what it feels like along the way. You start getting comments from coworkers, clothes that were tight start to fit and then are loose, you glance at yourself in the mirror and can't believe it's you (in a good way) and people start asking you for advice on how to lose weight. Some people won't even recognize you. Others will stare at you when you're not looking because they admire your resolved and accomplishment. It's GREAT!!! Losing weight is necessarily hard. It should be hard. If I could snap my fingers and be at my goal weight tomorrow, I would NOT do it. I want to work to get this weight off because it will mean more to me and I will have a better chance of keeping it off. I also scour the Success Stories pages and I love seeing the happiness on the posters' faces. I am in awe of people who work for years to lose 100s of pounds and inches. It says they are strong and phenomenal. And I want to be like that, too. Be jealous of someone who wins the lottery, not someone who works their butts off (literally) to change his/her life. Life is hard. We can either suffer the aches, pains and disabilities of being overweight or learn self discipline and moderation and be healthy and fit. I choose the latter. You should probably do the same. Someone said "Start today". I second that.0
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