This may sound weird and/or possibly a little conceited but...

I totally get where you're coming from! I remember a time where I wouldn't step foot in a gym because I didn't want to be "the fat girl who should really just stop trying". When I would see other women looking great in their tight gym gear, I would get really jealous and upset because I felt they were judging me! Oh how silly that sounds now…
I am a gym bunny now, I love my body and I'm definetely in good shape. But when I see the newcomers looking really self-concious, I just want to tell them to relax! The gym has taught me never to be afraid of being a beginner and I feel that's a huge lesson!
I could compare myself to the female bodybuilders at my gym and have the same feeling as before, because they can lift heavier than me and definetely have more definition! But now, all they do is inspire me because I know how hard they've worked to get to that point! As do those who went from being obese to slightly overweight. I might be in better shape than them but they've worked so much harder to get where they are and that's inspirational!
I love surrounding myself with people who are dedicated to fitness, at any level. Now, instead of judging who looks best in what at the gym, I seek out people who are putting in the effort to better themselves!

I am one of the ones that wants to hide at the gym. I love going, but preforming some of the things there can be a bit embarrassing. I see people smile at me, and I bet they are thinking the same thing all of you are saying. They want to give encouragement, but are afraid of offending. Trust me, that smile, that nod or thrumbs up is just as much encouragement as words.

I get where you're coming from too.

Years ago I was obese. Through a series of decisions, including joining martial arts, I lost 90 lbs. Part of my success was due to one of the other girls training at that dojo who took me under her wing at the beginning because she had once been obese. She approached me the first day and encouraged me in my journey and I will always be so appreciative of her for that.

One day, after I had lost the weight, I was training and a new girl, about the same size as I had been when I started, came in for a trial session. She was obviously way out of her comfort zone and trying to shrink away. She lasted about 20 minutes with one of the Senseis showing her some moves before dissolving into tears and running out of the dojo. Knowing how she felt because I had been there, I asked that Sensei (who was a bit of a jerk) if I could have the girl's phone number because I would love to talk to her and encourage her not to give up. He refused and said something snide that I don't recall but it was mean - something about waste of time. That was about 6 years ago and I still think about that.

I often wonder where that line is of encouraging someone in their journey if I don't know them. I don't want to offend or cause someone to be uncomfortable. At the same time though I know how crucial that support from a stranger was for me when I felt hopeless.

I wear what's comfy and cheap and gets least sweat soaked, which is shorts and a tank top. Wore them when I was fat, too. I'm sure I look like hell working out with sweat flying everywhere and stuff but like... it's not a fashion show, what do I care. lol

Your comments made me laugh because I'm one of those shlubby sweats and oversize t-shirts kind of gals at the gym. Well, actually I try (if I can remember) to follow the rule of only one loose item to keep the sloppiness at bay. So loose t-shirt and fitted bottom or shorts, or tight t-shirt and loose sweats. I'm not trying to be invisible, and I hope no one feels like I am. I just refuse to spend money on workout wear, so all my shirts are my husband's cast-offs.

I do kind of get where you are coming from. I seem to have gone from someone who wanted to hide in the background to someone who wears the tight lycra clothes and looks like they live in the gym.