I'm worried, tired, emotionally drained and sick of this.
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The trunk of the body is a cylinder... ever noticed what that looks like? It is not normal or healthy to be concave, if that is your aim. Aside from that, you do need serious psychotherapy to help retrain your mind to healthy eating and emotion. It is becoming increasingly common for adults to have body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Talk to your doctor or phone up a mental health clinic, and ask for a referral to someone who has experience with this kind of therapy.
Please seek help soon. Wishing you all the best with this journey.0 -
thanks everyone
I will look into this on Monday. 0 -
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lightmouse wrote: »My boyfriend said that I must be seeing something completely different to the rest of the world. I don't think so, I think I'm seeing it accurately but then obsessing over it and making it a bigger deal than it is. I have always wanted to run a sub 20 min 5k. Then the day I do it, what do I think? Not "wow, well done, look what you've achieved" but "why the hell is my stomach still sticking out, I'm still doing something wrong, what is it". Absolute nonsense.
Another random Internet stranger who thinks you look great!
But the point is, you recognize that your feelings are nonsense but you're still having them. That is exactly why you should get a referral to a therapist. My recommendation (remember, random Internet stranger!) would be to ask for a referral to a specialist in CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). Instead of focusing on why you have these feelings, CBT would focus on how to reduce or eliminate them.0 -
lightmouse wrote: »My boyfriend said that I must be seeing something completely different to the rest of the world. I don't think so, I think I'm seeing it accurately but then obsessing over it and making it a bigger deal than it is. I have always wanted to run a sub 20 min 5k. Then the day I do it, what do I think? Not "wow, well done, look what you've achieved" but "why the hell is my stomach still sticking out, I'm still doing something wrong, what is it". Absolute nonsense.
Your boyfriend is right.0 -
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT. You really need to speak to a professional. You are obviously putting into play all the physicial things that need to take place to change your body on the outside, but no gym or protein shake or grilled chicken is gonna do anything for your mental being. I don't have a Phd or anything, but it seems apparent you have deep seated feeling about your body image. You have worked too hard and you have too much going for you to not seek the appropriate professional help that you deserve. I encourage you to please seek some help and get started enjoying the life that you deserve. Be well young lady.0
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Go out and find a worthwhile cause..feeding the hungry; mentoring kids; Big Sister; Habitat...you have entirely too much time spent worrying about yourself. The rewards you receive in making a difference in the lives of others will make you realize what REALLY matters in the end.0
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your stomach looks pretty toned to me! you look amazing. arms look outstanding too!
it sucks that you feel you can't enjoy yourself when you're out, or can't have the wine or cake like you want. but you can.
i mean, how strict do you want to be on yourself? what are your goals? if having defined six pack abs is your goal, then you do need to continue to be strict. but it doesn't sound like that is a goal you're capable of, without straining yourself mentally.
a sub 20 minute 5k? that is an awesome goal and congrats on accomplishing it. maybe you should refocus your efforts on what you can accomplish physically.0 -
You don't have a physical problem you have a mental/emotional problem. Body dismorphic disorder. Look it up and see if it sounds familiar.
You can can help for this and live a happier life.0 -
Go to a medical spa. Try carboxy therapy on your stomach to flatten it out. Or liposonixs. It's not expensive and should give you the results you want.0
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DevilandhisAdvocate wrote: »Go to a medical spa. Try carboxy therapy on your stomach to flatten it out. Or liposonixs. It's not expensive and should give you the results you want.
No. Don't do this. You have thoughts that you, yourself, recognize as unhealthy nonsense. Therefore, you need a professional who can help you to reduce the frequency and intensity of those thoughts. You don't need anything physical. You could do talk therapy that would take months or years to uncover and deal with the source of those thoughts, or you could do CBT that would give you techniques for diverting or minimizing those thoughts. But whatever you choose, it's the "nonsense" that you yourself recognize that should be the focus of your efforts.0 -
wrenegade64 wrote: »PAY CLOSE ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT. You really need to speak to a professional. You are obviously putting into play all the physicial things that need to take place to change your body on the outside, but no gym or protein shake or grilled chicken is gonna do anything for your mental being. I don't have a Phd or anything, but it seems apparent you have deep seated feeling about your body image. You have worked too hard and you have too much going for you to not seek the appropriate professional help that you deserve. I encourage you to please seek some help and get started enjoying the life that you deserve. Be well young lady.
This. Word for word. You are far too important to let this go. You don't need to struggle with this. There IS help for you no matter what your financial situation is. Get it. You won't regret it.
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lightmouse wrote: »Isabelle_1929 wrote: »If at 30 years-old, you can spend an entire day crying because of a thin layer of fat and skin over your stomach, you need professional help. It will not just go away.
What strikes me is that you have a BF. So unless you want to be a bikini model, rationally, having a flat and firm stomach would change absolutely nothing in your life. Nothing.
I am sure that you know that the issue has strictly nothing to do with dieting and fitness.
Also, about seeing a therapist: it's to because you saw one when you were a kid and that it didn't worked out, that any therapy/psychological help is useless. But again, I am sure that you know that. So take a deep breath and try to find a specialist for body image/dismorphia etc... Maybe your GP could recommend one?
I know. Everything you say is completely true. My boyfriend fell for a girl that liked running, cycling, walking - and then going out for nice meals. Not this ridiculous nervous wreck that analyses everything she puts in her mouth and panics if she doesn't know the macros of things. I need to sort it out. I need to stop being so damn pathetic and get over it. I don't know how I've got back here. I got so much better for a while, especially when I saw changes. But then the changes weren't enough and this is where I am.
You can't "get over it" until you face whatever demon it is that if forcing you to believe you aren't good enough. I'm not a doctor. I can't tell you what it is. I haven't walked in your shoes. I don't know what you've been through, but I know what it's like to want absolute perfection. You have these ideas. There are goals for whatever they may be- it could be your physique. Your job. A relationship. A possession. NOTHING will do until you get this, and it HAS to be EXACTLY what you want, the way you want it. If it's not, it's flawed, and everything is skewed.
In the end, it's not even about that. Talk to someone. Get to the heart of the matter. Find a therapist that you like and trust. It's not gonna be an overnight fix, but it's gonna be worth it.
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Go out and find a worthwhile cause..feeding the hungry; mentoring kids; Big Sister; Habitat...you have entirely too much time spent worrying about yourself. The rewards you receive in making a difference in the lives of others will make you realize what REALLY matters in the end.
I get up at 4:30am every morning to do a job that revolves around helping others. It is rewarding,and it should put things into perspective but it doesn't. I DON'T have the time to worry about myself so much, that's why I'm so tired.
Thank you to everyone for your support. I haven't logged any food this weekend and I'm going to call my doctor in the morning. And I'm baking bread today I haven't had bread in so long, and I love baking. Food is to be enjoyed not feared. 0 -
this times a thousand…You need to see a therapist and get counselling. You do not have a realistic view of your body. Seek help so that you can live your life to the fullest regardless of what you weigh or look like.
if you can't enjoy a night out of eating and drinking without it bringing you to tears, you need to seek immediate help.0 -
lightmouse wrote: »My boyfriend said that I must be seeing something completely different to the rest of the world. I don't think so, I think I'm seeing it accurately but then obsessing over it and making it a bigger deal than it is. I have always wanted to run a sub 20 min 5k. Then the day I do it, what do I think? Not "wow, well done, look what you've achieved" but "why the hell is my stomach still sticking out, I'm still doing something wrong, what is it". Absolute nonsense.
Another random Internet stranger who thinks you look great!
But the point is, you recognize that your feelings are nonsense but you're still having them. That is exactly why you should get a referral to a therapist. My recommendation (remember, random Internet stranger!) would be to ask for a referral to a specialist in CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). Instead of focusing on why you have these feelings, CBT would focus on how to reduce or eliminate them.
Thank you. That exactly what I want, I don't want to sit in a room discussing why I feel like this and going round and round in circles - I'm not really interested in why, I just want to feel better.0 -
DevilandhisAdvocate wrote: »Go to a medical spa. Try carboxy therapy on your stomach to flatten it out. Or liposonixs. It's not expensive and should give you the results you want.
that will do tons for OP's emotional state…rolls eyez….0 -
DevilandhisAdvocate wrote: »Go to a medical spa. Try carboxy therapy on your stomach to flatten it out. Or liposonixs. It's not expensive and should give you the results you want.
that will do tons for OP's emotional state…rolls eyez….
Don't worry - I'm not acting in a logical way by any means but even I don't think that's a good idea 0 -
You do have a psychological issue. And its really really hard to find that right therapist , but you should try. Read all you can about body dysmorphic syndrome and associated disorders. Take a belly dancing class. Its a great celebration of the feminine form, and all body types are welcome. It may help to see others being very comfortable in their pretty large skins!0
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This was me after a year of counting cals! I felt drained and could feel the disordered thinking grow, even though I knee it was wrong! My low weight was 141 (I'm 5'10") and I felt flabby! I was in a size5 pants and felt like I needed to lose more.
March this year
I stopped counting cals for 4 months and then began to count again with the goal of bulking. I feel healthier and stronger! I still want to lose some fat but I needed to stop dieting for sanity reasons. I now weigh 154.
October 1st
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