Very irritated
cbratthauer
Posts: 228 Member
So I am getting married in September, I have set up a website through TheKnot.com, and there are message boards on there just like here with different topics. Everytime I post something about a question or something else all I get are *****y negative feedback posts. Are all brides *****y? I try not to be but this is ridiculous. I mentioned on one that we are having a cash bar and you would have thought I was saying the world was ending! What's the big deal, I know I'm not the only one who has cash bar, and we're offering free kegs! Some lady even told me why have a nice wedding at all if I'm just going to throw etiquette out the window. Seriously? This site is so much more supportive, I feel like all I do is get attacked on that site! Like they know everything and are the all mighty brides and I'm just an idiot, sorry, this is my first wedding and I don't know the answers to it all!!!! Sorry just wanted to vent!!!
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Replies
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I signed up on that site when I married as well - it's mostly filled with stressed out, spoiled brat, *****y brides. I'd stay here if I were you. We can give you wedding advice!!0
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sadly I was a knotty as well. I am now divorce but getting married next year, since it will be a second wedding for both of us we're gonna keep it pretty low key, but If you have any questions feel free to add me, I've got TONS of advice0
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My sister just got married and had a cash bar, I don't think anyone expected any different and I certainly didn't hear any complaints! Ignore all the bridezilla's on the other site, everyone's different and entitled to do THEIR wedding day THEIR way, so pay no attention! And congratulations!!0
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I see nothing wrong with a cash bar at a wedding reception. If I want a drink, I'll buy one. If I don't want one or don't have any money, then I won't. The point of being a guest at a wedding is to see the bride and groom wed and to congratulate them. If you are gracious enough to host a reception, that's just a bonus!0
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I see nothing wrong with cash bars. I mentioned this to a random lady getting her manicure an she had a fit, also on the etiquette. And that it's either an open bar or no bar at all. I didn't get her.0
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wow! I'm a bride to be as well and I had no idea about that site or the rudeness of some people on it. Thank you for sharing that and I think I will steer clear of sites like that one. Being a bride is stressful enough will all the planning, let alone having people tell you how you should operate your own wedding. Actually cash bars can be more cost effective because people tend to waste less when they are paying for it and you can return your unopened boxes of liquor etc for a refund. Don't let anyone rain on your parade! Its YOUR beautful day!!.. well your husband's to be as well.... so plan it the way that best suits you and your fiances needs. this days is about the two of you and sharing your special day with those whom you choose to!!
Best of luck
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I think there is WAAAYYY to much focus on the "right way" to do a wedding and far less importance on the purpose of why you are there.
There really is NO "right way" to do a wedding.
The way you choose to do the wedding is the right way for you and your spouse to be.
My husband and I held our reception at an all you can eat chinese buffet and all the guests paid for their own alcohol and we all had a wonderful time.
Don't listen to anyone else and what THEY want because its YOUR WEDDING and it doesn't matter what THEY want its all about you and your spouse to be and what YOU want!0 -
Don't worry about what ANYONE else says... especially terribly rude people who are on The Knot. I've heard bad things about them from other people I know who have signed up there. Maybe cancel your account?
It's a big day for you and your husband-to-be and you should try and stay as happy and positive as possible! You don't need anymore unwanted stress! Good luck to you!!0 -
First of all...congratulations on your upcoming wedding! It is, after all, YOUR wedding and you can and should do whatever will make you happy and alleviates stress. Trust me, it will be stressful enough without worrying about what all the bridezillas all over the place say and think! This is YOUR time, don't let anyone ruin it for you. Honestly, with the economy the way it is, having a big reception is one place where you can actually cut back on costs while still having a nice reception. I wish you all the best and try not to let the 'zillas out there get you down!0
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Brutal!
That being said if you can't afford open bar the important thing is to put "cash bar" in the invite. This ensures people will #1 bring cash and #2 the gift they give is often reduced in value accordingly. That's what I've heard.0 -
In a word: yes.Are all brides *****y?
I was a Knotty too. There were knock-down, drag-out, hair-pulling fights (virtual, of course) over sooooooooo much.
For kicks, search for posts about brides getting married for the 2nd time and having a big wedding. Oh, the horror! Or look for topics about family members hosting the bridal shower. Or, God forbid, someone who wants to print their invitation envelopes on the computer instead of hand-addressing. The nerve!
Etiquette issues seem to bring out the worst in some. There are those who will take a side on anything. Inflexibility is a dangerous thing.0 -
People can be so superficial, we had a open bar I don't think it matters either way. I say if you got the money to get all your family and friends drunk go for it! If not then do the cash bar you gotta live after the wedding I wouldn't waste the money if I don't have it to waste! This is your special day do it how you wanna do it and forget what others think!0
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Thank you everybody! It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels that way! I just think that this day is for me and my fiance and it should be what we want. Just because we can't afford a cash bar doesn't make us rude. We're both college students and own our home so our family/friends know that we don't have a money tree in the back yard. Plus, we both have huge families who want to be included on our special day so most of our money will be going towards the meals0
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I had the Knot wedding 911 app on my iphone, and deleted because of how rude and annoying everyone was! And then it turned into like iphone therapy for people with real issues. I feel bad that that may be their only outlet but I deleted the app because I like positive people!
Oh and I'm a bride to be also by the way! Next July (2012). When's your wedding?0 -
Yeah... was a Knotty, then a Nesty, and then a Bumpy. I still lurk a lot on the Bump but don't post. There's tons of girls like that over there. You just have to lurk for a long time to get the feel of the boards and to know what to say and what not to say, and what boards are friendlier than others.0
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It's seems like a lot of websites are full of the snotty people who have no helpful answers.
Thats why I really love this site. Everyone is helpful and friendly (for the most part).0 -
Yeah I went on there back in the day and I pretty much just stayed on the local board b/c I couldn't stand the snotty b!!tches on that board. They continue on to the the nest/the bump. PPL what bash you on what or how you raised your kids and they didn't even have any. Which is why I have given up that chat group and gone to a smaller more intimite one.0
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Hey I am a florist in the Houston area...Pink&Chocolate Floral Design... www.pinkandchocolate.net and I was just thinking about advertising with the Knot.com ... I am curious as to which website you prefer to use out of the bridal websites? I don't blame you for being so irritated with those ill mannered ladies. They need to remember that their rudeness to you is extremely bad etiquette. Also that beauty is fleeting and if you are ugly on the inside no one cares what you look like on the outside!! Okay I would love any input on your favorite wedding site!0
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well im getting married myself for the first itme and i even considered doing a cash bar. I havent realy made up my mind yet but thats what im leaning towards. YOUR NOT ALONE!0
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I had the Knot wedding 911 app on my iphone, and deleted because of how rude and annoying everyone was! And then it turned into like iphone therapy for people with real issues. I feel bad that that may be their only outlet but I deleted the app because I like positive people!
Oh and I'm a bride to be also by the way! Next July (2012). When's your wedding?
Congratulations!! My wedding is September 3, only about 4 months to go!!!!0 -
Hey I am a florist in the Houston area...Pink&Chocolate Floral Design... www.pinkandchocolate.net and I was just thinking about advertising with the Knot.com ... I am curious as to which website you prefer to use out of the bridal websites? I don't blame you for being so irritated with those ill mannered ladies. They need to remember that their rudeness to you is extremely bad etiquette. Also that beauty is fleeting and if you are ugly on the inside no one cares what you look like on the outside!! Okay I would love any input on your favorite wedding site!
I like The Knot as a website in general, just will stay away from their message boards. It's really the only website I have used, that and TheWeddingChannel.com. Otherwise I just went to Google and googled everything I needed, or went to Bridal shows. I would definitely do Bridal Shows0 -
I think a cash bar is a perfectly fine. Just make sure you tell people in the invitations.
The people who want an open bar are people who like to get drunk at the expense of someone else.
A wedding is for the bride and groom to celebrate, and have family and friends enjoy this wonderful occasion and to help them start a life together.
Not to make sure their guests can get tanked.0 -
Wow! That's crazy! Well best wished to you on your day! AAAAAAAND remember it is YOUR WEDDING!!!0
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I am getting married in september too and im not *****y...most of the time...unless im hungry...or tired... haha. anyway, i found the knot to be the same way. I would check out projectwedding.com. The women on there are super nice and supportive. Feel free to friend me and we chat/complain about wedding stuff Good luck with planning, i am sorry you had a such a bad experience.
Edit - remember at the end of the day its your wedding, you and your family will be the ones that will remember this day for years to come not some random faceless person on the internet. And frankly 10 years from now if someone remembers that you had a cash vs open bar at your wedding they seriously need a hobby.0 -
I got married in December, and I used to go on the weddingwire forums a lot. The people on there frequently report that they find theknot mean and nasty and cliquey, as well as a few other sites.
Try weddingwire!
and congratulations 0 -
I loved The Knot. Mostly because I used the tools it provided and stayed away from commenting on the message boards. Far away. If I had a question about anything I would Google it and sometimes it would bring me to a message board on The Knot and sometimes it would take me elsewhere. Any question I had I was able to find the answer to without participating. They really are awful and I think most of it can be contributed to the fact that "it's the internet". Anyone can be a tough guy behind a keyboard. (The Bump is even worse!). But it's YOUR wedding and it'll be beautiful no matter what. My wedding was wonderful. I had a cash bar and no one said anything about it. Don't let the snobs bring you down. Congrats!0
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**** em.0
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Been married 26 years.
Seen a lot of people get married and divorced.
Seems the bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage.
Too much focus on "I'm gonna be a bride!" and not enough thought of "I'm gonna be a wife"
I'm a big fan of marriage, weddings not so much.
Incidentally, we got married at the Justice of the Peace on a Friday afternoon after lunch hour from work.
My first, her second.
Her three kids - 1 divorced after 5 years, got married again for 1o years, now is going thru 2nd divorce.
Next kid divorced when the kids hit college, approx 20 yrs.
Third kid divorced after 7 years, then 2 years on her own, now married to a wonderful guy - I hope it sticks.0 -
And that is why I stick to the boards here or the justmommies message boards. Only two forums I found where (most) people are NOT attacking everyone and every little thing.
A cash bar is a GREAT compromise for those who want alcohol at their wedding but cannot afford an open bar.
Those brides would have killed me! We had cheap wine, champagne and a few kegs at my wedding. LOL! Not one person complained and every one (but me) had a blast, but I was 5 months pregnant and feeling like crap all day and it rained. :laugh:0 -
Are you planning to offer a drink to each guest for the toast?0
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