Stuck in a Fat Persons Body....SIck & Disgusted!!

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  • EllieB_5
    EllieB_5 Posts: 247 Member
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    The self-loathing is hard to get over. My therapist reminds me all the time "look at yourself from a place of kindness and forgiveness". Fine, you hate the way you look, we all do or we wouldn't be here, but don't hate yourself. There is a difference. Forgive yourself for getting to this weight instead of loathing yourself for doing it. Be kind to yourself through your weight loss challenge as you will have weak moments and set-backs.
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Try to take a deep breath and accept that person in the mirror without judgement. That's who you are today, but not who you will be tomorrow. There is no room for guilt, terror, tears, or disgust on this journey, only acceptance, self-discovery, success, awe, pride and love.

    Let me know if you would like some links to help you set up your calories/macros/etc and avoid some of the common beginner mistakes that can cause frustration early on.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    You are beautiful woman RIGHT NOW. Own that! Don't focus on appearance for motivation. Do it for your health. Do it as a means of using your body to it's full potential. Set goals unrelated to the mirror. The weight loss will happen as a side affect and it won't be nearly as stressful.

    I see you are new here. Before you get too caught up in all the random conflicting advice given in these forums, read these:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

    There's lots of great information in those two threads plus links to even more great information.

    I wish you all the best in reaching your goals in a healthy, positive manner.
  • mike_ny
    mike_ny Posts: 351 Member
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    That's the first big step towards doing something very positive about it. It definitely isn't easy and will take longer than you'll like or want, but you can definitely get there if you really want to and are willing to put in the time and effort. Be prepared to make a long term commitment, and you can get your life back and get out of the "fat suit" for good.

    Don't let your friends, workmates, or family discourage you with their remarks. It's often better to just say you're trying to lose five or ten pounds if they ask so you don't get the negatives about how you'll never succeed in a major weight loss, etc.... It's hard for people to see you not being large, so they think they're being kind in not letting you get your hopes up or they know that they couldn't do it themselves so they project that on you. You can't ignore them, so just thank them for their words or advice and then ignore it and go your own way. After you lose 10-20 pounds, they'll start to come around, but getting to that point can get pretty brutal for some people, so be prepared for it just in case.

    This community has been there and definitely knows that major weight loss works as long as you have a reasonable plan and stick with it and tweaking it as you find some things working better than others for you personally.
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 413 Member
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    This post changed everything for me when I first started out. Hope it's helpful to you.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Also, when I first started, it strengthened my resolve when I actually stood back and looked at myself in the mirror. I never realized how big I had gotten. It took literally standing in the bathroom looking at a full length mirror for what seemed like an hour to REALLY see what I had done to myself. Taking that pic, posting it here (kudos, I've never been that brave) is the first step. You have the support here, the knowledge is here though sometimes hard to weed out in the forums, and you can do it!
  • sclevenger1
    sclevenger1 Posts: 12 Member
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    n183s2.jpg

    First month progress after getting back on track. I can definatley see the inches lost.
  • sclevenger1
    sclevenger1 Posts: 12 Member
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    ftejcy.jpg
  • mrsmuckster
    mrsmuckster Posts: 444 Member
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    I have never understood why the person we see in the mirror is not the same person we see in pictures. I guess that is why I never wanted anyone to take a picture of me because I knew in my mind it wasn't the same. Though I'm only about a third to my goal, in almost three months, I've known it would take time. Over the years when I thought about "getting serious" I thought it was too overwhelming and would take too long. I wish I had realized then that had I took it serious at that time, I'd be done by now. Of course, I haven't reached goal yet either, being patient is half the battle for me.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Awesome!! keep it up, we are all rooting for you :)
  • shengorth
    shengorth Posts: 2 Member
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    Wow well done you I am so delighted for you and can see a big difference You are getting your waist back. I have only just got my head into gear to enable me to start. I am following a Slimming world programme.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
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    I love all the responses you've gotten here, love your results, and love that you are still here and getting the job done! I definitely agree we need to value ourselves wherever we are in our lives right here, right now, in order to care for ourselves properly. The best way to get caught in a shame spiral is to use food and exercise as punishments rather than loving care.
  • boldandstrong
    boldandstrong Posts: 2
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    wow..seeing the after pictures is motivating me to stick to my plans. I feel the same way. Iike I'm trapped in my body and it is holding me back from going out and living my life. when I see pictures of myself from a while back and now...I am just shocked and mad at myself and I want to change as much as I can within the next two months..and seeing your pictures is motivating because I can see progress is possible!
  • sclevenger1
    sclevenger1 Posts: 12 Member
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    That is so true "mrsmuckster," I would cry so many times when I would feel so confident looking in the mirror and then someone would take a pic of me and I would think to myself...who is that??? I had to change my whole way of thinking and I am still battling with it everyday. We are our own worst crititc. You have to look in the mirror and learn to love yourself within while you are working on the rest of you and it makes all the difference in the world because people will see your confidence first before they judge the rest of you. Taking pics of myself below the face selfies have helped me to see the bigger picture and when you are able to have visual progress...it's motivating. Store it in your cell...put it on your laptop...tape pics to your fridge, whatever works. Now, I don't hesitate to take full pics becasue there is so much more to me than just my weight and we all have so many other beautiful qualities that we need to embrace. The weight will come off in due time and we need to stop hiding indoors, behind frumpy clothing, stop being afraid to enjoy life and have fun in fear of what others think. The world will judge you no matter what...You will never impress everyone but learning to love yourself goes a long way. Thank you guys for the support & motivation...we are all struggling in different ways and I love the positive side of this Forum. Good luck <3<3
  • RoseyDgirl
    RoseyDgirl Posts: 306 Member
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    I'm only now becoming used to having my picture taken. Before, I'd be the one offering to carry the camera - but, these days, as the inches are slowly coming off and I'm gaining a semi-figure, I don't mind the pictures as much.
    -
    - I know that I'm a work in progress. the one in my profile (was at the beginning of the mpf journey) and someday, I may post a success photo.
    -
    - I don't hate where I've been, it's just part of the journey; a chapter of my life that has made me stronger for what I'm facing now, or what I'll face tomorrow.
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    - Don't lose hope, embrace the process and you will be the stronger for it.
    -
  • cstevenson86
    cstevenson86 Posts: 158 Member
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    ponycyndi wrote: »
    You are a very beautiful woman. I know there is a skinny lady in there, and you will set her free!

    I like how you worded that. I think that's how a lot of us feel! At least I know I do. I feel like this awesome, fun, vivacious skinny girl trapped in this obese body...I can't wait to break free!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MOMENT! ON YOUR DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
  • thereverie
    thereverie Posts: 57 Member
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    You look (and did look) absolutely beautiful! Congrats on your results, and your mentality shift! Keep on rockin' it girl!
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
    edited November 2014
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    mrsmuckster wrote: »
    I have never understood why the person we see in the mirror is not the same person we see in pictures. I guess that is why I never wanted anyone to take a picture of me because I knew in my mind it wasn't the same. Though I'm only about a third to my goal, in almost three months, I've known it would take time. Over the years when I thought about "getting serious" I thought it was too overwhelming and would take too long. I wish I had realized then that had I took it serious at that time, I'd be done by now. Of course, I haven't reached goal yet either, being patient is half the battle for me.

    I can give you a few legitimate answers to this.

    1) The person you see in a mirror is a reversed image of the person you see in a photograph. For example, lets look at photo of Abraham Lincoln.

    652v2muzkkfh.jpg

    That is what we are used to seeing when we see a picture of him. He looks normal. Then, when we reverse the photo, we can actually see what Lincoln saw himself as when he looked in a mirror:

    sasv18vkttdx.jpg

    He looks like a slightly different person. So when our brain sees ourselves as we actually are compared to what we are used to seeing in a mirror all the time...we get slightly confused and feel a bit uncomfortable. It just isn't what appears natural to us.

    Also, real life is 3D. Photographs have no depth in them they are only 2D. We see with two eyes (two lenses) to see depth. A lens in a camera is only a single lens.

    Photos also come from angles we are not used to seeing ourselves at. We can only really see ourselves from the perception of our own eyes. We never get a chance to see what we actually look like directly from the side.

    So it is really a combination of a few factors that makes us look so strange in photos compared to mirrors.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    same dude. i guess he never lost 100 pounds.
  • ems212
    ems212 Posts: 135 Member
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    I can't even look in the mirror anymore. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine took a picture of me...and I was shocked. The person in the picture looked nothing like the person I see in the mirror every morning. I got home, and I took a long, hard look at myself...and I started to see the person in the picture.

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