Kids at the gym

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  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    You did the right thing, although I'm not surprised that the dad reacted the way he did (because people are like that now, unfortunately.) If your child isn't old enough to interact with adults, you shouldn't leave them alone in adult places. Whether or not the dad wants to admit it, she's causing a safety issue for herself and the people around her. I'd talk to the gym management and ask them to make sure she's supervised by her father if she's going to be allowed in.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    What probably happened was the little girl got upset being corrected and cried to her daddy, who then of course got all "daddy's little girl" but the reality is that that if he was protective he should be spotting her. If she really is like only 12yo and lifting, even if she knows what she is doing she can easily get hurt.

    Not only that the reality is that at 12 the growth plates have not yet closed for most kids. So when they lift they are actually at increased risk for injury. My daughter wanted to lift at that age and the Dr told her no because of the growth plates not being closed yet. Body weight exercises are better at that age. On top of that female hormones actually act as a lubricant to loosen joints, young girls have excess of these hormones, which is why teen girls have higher risk for knee injuries playing sports than boys.

    Don't get me wrong, I am all for sports, strength training and lifting, but the kids are at an increased risk for dislocations and tears because their bodies are still growing. Which means that parent was really in the wrong for not watching her. On top of that there are creeps at gyms, my girlfriend has been followed out to her car, when my duaghter was a teen I would not have left her alone in a gym just for that.

    The dad's reaction, I get, but seriously then why is the kid alone.
  • blc1971
    blc1971 Posts: 170 Member
    edited November 2014
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    I don't see a problem with what you did. My child wouldn't be using weights unsupervised at that age, but if they were and I happened to step away when the kid did something unsafe, I don't have a problem with another adult telling them to be careful. You didn't grab her, yell at her, or confront her in an inappropriate way. I think we've gone too far the wrong direction when our kids can't take a little mild correction/instruction from another adult. Now, if you had grabbed my kid, yelled at him/her, or gotten in their face then yeah, I'm going to jump your butt. If she can't take some constructive help then she doesn't need to be in the gym at all. Daddy needs to lay off the 'roids too!!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    fannyfrost wrote: »
    Not only that the reality is that at 12 the growth plates have not yet closed for most kids. So when they lift they are actually at increased risk for injury. My daughter wanted to lift at that age and the Dr told her no because of the growth plates not being closed yet. Body weight exercises are better at that age. On top of that female hormones actually act as a lubricant to loosen joints, young girls have excess of these hormones, which is why teen girls have higher risk for knee injuries playing sports than boys.
    There was a thread about this recently. Clif's: There is not any research showing kids shouldn't lift. Nor is there data showing increased risk for injury, particularly compared to other sports.
  • 212019156
    212019156 Posts: 341 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with a 12 year old lifting weights. The growth plate issue is a myth. I think the issue here is a dad who is a jerk and a kid who needs supervision.
  • mustgetmuscles1
    mustgetmuscles1 Posts: 3,346 Member
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    dbmata wrote: »
    fannyfrost wrote: »
    Not only that the reality is that at 12 the growth plates have not yet closed for most kids. So when they lift they are actually at increased risk for injury. My daughter wanted to lift at that age and the Dr told her no because of the growth plates not being closed yet. Body weight exercises are better at that age. On top of that female hormones actually act as a lubricant to loosen joints, young girls have excess of these hormones, which is why teen girls have higher risk for knee injuries playing sports than boys.
    There was a thread about this recently. Clif's: There is not any research showing kids shouldn't lift. Nor is there data showing increased risk for injury, particularly compared to other sports.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1136184/weightlifting-for-children/p1

    Growth plate damage can happen with any sport, activity and accident but I have not seen anything that shows weightlifting or strength training has a higher risk.

    They all stress caution, education and supervision though. Which is just common sense in my opinion.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    Thanks for posting that link, a search wasn't showing it for me, then I just ragequit the search func.
  • LiftAndBalance
    LiftAndBalance Posts: 960 Member
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    blc1971 wrote: »
    I don't see a problem with what you did. My child wouldn't be using weights unsupervised at that age, but if they were and I happened to step away when the kid did something unsafe, I don't have a problem with another adult telling them to be careful. You didn't grab her, yell at her, or confront her in an inappropriate way. I think we've gone too far the wrong direction when our kids can't take a little mild correction/instruction from another adult. Now, if you had grabbed my kid, yelled at him/her, or gotten in their face then yeah, I'm going to jump your butt. If she can't take some constructive help then she doesn't need to be in the gym at all. Daddy needs to lay off the 'roids too!!

    This! You did the right thing and, frankly, I'm terrified by the level of implied generalising accusations against men in this thread.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    scrrrrd.
  • skippygirlsmom
    skippygirlsmom Posts: 4,433 Member
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    212019156 wrote: »
    You did the right thing. A 12 year should not be lifting weights unsupervised.

    ^^^ this

    As the mom of a 14 year old girl, I think you did the right thing. If my daughter came and told me that you corrected her I would have no issue with that, unless you went off on her or cursed at her, then we would have a problem. I have no qualms with people correcting my kid as long as it's deserved and done with respect.

  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
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    JeffseekingV wrote: »
    BinkyBonk wrote: »
    If her parent feels she is old enough to be in the gym working out, she is old enough to observe the rules and etiquette. I think you did the right thing.

    That's how I feel too. But in reality because she was a girl and he's a man, he should have talked to management. I think the father was freaked that a grown man approached her daughter. But if she's working out in the weight room, not sure how the father thinks it wouldn't happen.
    Good point. I didn't consider the grown man approaching young girl angle.

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Who cares that he is a man and she is a young girl? He didn't follow her into the locker room. He addressed her in the common workout space. Teaching girls to fear every man they meet does them a huge disservice in the long term.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    Who cares that he is a man and she is a young girl? He didn't follow her into the locker room. He addressed her in the common workout space. Teaching girls to fear every man they meet does them a huge disservice in the long term.
    I wasn't saying that young girls should fear every man they encounter. What I was saying is that I could sort of understand the dad's reaction, in his role as a protective parent (though not so protective that he wasn't supervising his child in an adult setting). My opinion is still that OP did the right thing.
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
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    My rec center it is based on school year not age. So, as soon as my daughter gets out of 5th grade next year (at 10 years old) she can start going in the cardio and weight rooms. However, it clearly states until like 8th or 9th grade they have to be supervised by a parent or guardian at all times. This would be the issue for me...is allowing someone that age lifting on their own without a partner/spotter and supervision. You should not have been put in the position to have to say anything to her if she was properly supervised.

    I do though, in this circumstance, think you did the right thing. I would think regardless of age...safety and respect for equipment should be followed by everyone. I would expect someone to correct me or my daughter.
  • burtonvdp
    burtonvdp Posts: 19 Member
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    Honestly if I trusted my daughter enough to be on her own at the gym (Or anywhere) I shouldn't be so sensitive to anyone (adult or peer) talking to her unsupervised. What I mean by that is if she was not next to me the whole time and out doing her own thing. The father is at fault here IMHO. He should have gone to an employee if his daughter felt threatened by someone on promises or just flat out asked what happened and get your point of view as well.

    I guess my point is that you did nothing wrong (given the story I have read) and that if the father was that worried about it he should either have her by his side or leave her home. She is in a very dangerous place and needs to be able to accept and listen to advice (just like any other adult) on how to stay safe and not ruin property.

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