This post is about gas (yes farting).

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24

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  • Darkladyv
    Darkladyv Posts: 17 Member
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    This post is killing me! Soooo funny!

    Sadly, I get gas all day every day! Doesn't matter what I eat, hell I can eat nothing at all for hours and I will still burp and fart loudly into the night and day (or chair at work)

    I know that fiber can cause it, I know that simple sugars can cause it. With me, waking up in a morning and being alive is guaranteed way to make sure the hot winds blow from my back door.

    Ladies, embrace the pantie trumpets and apologise to no one!
    (Except maybe the dog when you blame it on them when your partners Mother comes round...)
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    How bad is your gas that you're posting about it? Are you bothered by a handful of smelly farts, or are you plagued with uncontrollable flatulence that's having a negative impact on your life? I ask b/c I just can't imagine resorting to bland food just to avoid a few smelly farts.
  • xixshaiyaxix
    xixshaiyaxix Posts: 83 Member
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    Since I've starting watching what I eat and changing my diet around according to my nutritionist's advice, I have started to have more gas. I don't know if its that I am eating more protein or what, but I guess that is just something that comes with it. I hope that over time my body will adjust. After many years of eating crap my body has a lot to rearrange I guess.
  • idontcarroll
    idontcarroll Posts: 216 Member
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    I guess I just don't care about my gas. The smellier the better! Protein farts FTW!
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    Chicken thighs are generally greasier than breasts and that could easily contribute to it.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
    edited November 2014
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    wise.jpg
    thread resurrection complete
    indeed protein is the ultimate kicker in this equation \m/
  • clewpage
    clewpage Posts: 44 Member
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    I get pretty foul smelling toots on occasion, but I also have gluten sensitivity issues and diverticulosis.
    Gluten ALWAYS gives me gas, and black beans do as well. Broccoli isn't as bad on me, but garlic can do it to me. Really try to pay attention to what it making the gas. Generally, lower digestion symptoms are a result of what you ate 2-3 meals ago...so keep that in mind when trying to narrow down culprits.

    I can go for weeks without much notice of "panty whispers", then all of a sudden I become a wind-farm for a week.
    I don't toot in front of my husband, so it can be bothersome to have to leave the room a lot or hold it. Sometimes I can blame it on the dog, but if hes not in the room, I'm screwed.
    I'm bad about getting the giggles when I let a "silent but deadly" go...I give myself away easily, even though I try not to.
    Panty Whispers is my new favorite term.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    clewpage wrote: »
    I don't toot in front of my husband, so it can be bothersome to have to leave the room a lot or hold it.

    Yer kidding right? Please say yer kidding and that I am being way too literal.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    SwannySez wrote: »
    clewpage wrote: »
    I don't toot in front of my husband, so it can be bothersome to have to leave the room a lot or hold it.

    Yer kidding right? Please say yer kidding and that I am being way too literal.

    I would hope so too, but I doubt it.

    I also like the term panty whispers.

  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
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    Rottenecards_22327511_9ytfj3t7cv.png

    HAHAHA!!!
  • clewpage
    clewpage Posts: 44 Member
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    Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
    There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
    Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
    He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
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    Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Man... he's lucky if I even poop in the actual toilet and we've only been together a year...
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    clewpage wrote: »
    Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
    There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
    Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
    He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.

    In our house we have contests. For noise and stench. We also compare stools. Often. And immortalize them with photos.

    To each his or her own.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    it_be_asin wrote: »
    Porridge helps to drive gas out of you if you are rather gassy.

    Else, I seem to be gassy all the time, so don't ask me how to avoid being gassy.


    I thought porridge was only something in a children's book.

  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    homerjspartan wrote: »
    Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.


    I'm impressed she could produce solid nuggets at that point!

  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    homerjspartan wrote: »
    Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.


    I'm impressed she could produce solid nuggets at that point!

    Solid, might be a stretch. But it sounds funnier. it was mostly like soft serve with some occasional bursts of nuggetness.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    I guess if you are going to revive a thread it might as well be about farting... seriously, just fart...

    zombie-thread.jpg
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    it_be_asin wrote: »
    Porridge helps to drive gas out of you if you are rather gassy.

    Else, I seem to be gassy all the time, so don't ask me how to avoid being gassy.


    I thought porridge was only something in a children's book.

    Yes, but think about it: have you ever read about any particularly gassy children's book characters?

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