This post is about gas (yes farting).
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Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.0 -
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Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.0
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Man... he's lucky if I even poop in the actual toilet and we've only been together a year...-1
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Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
In our house we have contests. For noise and stench. We also compare stools. Often. And immortalize them with photos.
To each his or her own.0 -
it_be_asin wrote: »Porridge helps to drive gas out of you if you are rather gassy.
Else, I seem to be gassy all the time, so don't ask me how to avoid being gassy.
I thought porridge was only something in a children's book.
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homerjspartan wrote: »Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.
I'm impressed she could produce solid nuggets at that point!
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homerjspartan wrote: »Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.
I'm impressed she could produce solid nuggets at that point!
Solid, might be a stretch. But it sounds funnier. it was mostly like soft serve with some occasional bursts of nuggetness.-1 -
I guess if you are going to revive a thread it might as well be about farting... seriously, just fart...
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it_be_asin wrote: »Porridge helps to drive gas out of you if you are rather gassy.
Else, I seem to be gassy all the time, so don't ask me how to avoid being gassy.
I thought porridge was only something in a children's book.
Yes, but think about it: have you ever read about any particularly gassy children's book characters?0 -
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it_be_asin wrote: »Porridge helps to drive gas out of you if you are rather gassy.
Else, I seem to be gassy all the time, so don't ask me how to avoid being gassy.
I thought porridge was only something in a children's book.
Yes, but think about it: have you ever read about any particularly gassy children's book characters?
Why do you think Cinderella was locked in a tower?
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Shannonigans84 wrote: »I'm a pretty gassy person so I can't help, I've just embraced it and fart freely with my boyfriend. Next time I'm telling him I didn't fart, I just whispered in my panties. SO funny! It has gotten better though watching my carb intake.
You could also tell him what my great grandpop used to tell me. "Mice"
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it_be_asin wrote: »
Else, I seem to be gassy all the time, so don't ask me how to avoid being gassy.
My fiancé says this is just a function of us being over 30! Does seem to be true for me too!
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So is pooping on Blue Bonnets!
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1246167/pooping-on-blue-bonnets/p1
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LickingSnail wrote: »Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
This is probably one of the funniest things I have read today. So first thank you for the laugh. Secondly, are you for real? like really real?
Seriously. My mother taught us that bodily functions were perfectly normal to have, but not appropriate to share. Bathroom stuff is private, and it is unladylike to discuss such things, especially in mixed company. My husband was raised very similarly, although being a guy he could get away with more than he chooses to.
We don't poot in front of each other, we don't pee in front of each other, we don't talk about poop...it's just how we were raised.
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LickingSnail wrote: »Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
This is probably one of the funniest things I have read today. So first thank you for the laugh. Secondly, are you for real? like really real?
Seriously. My mother taught us that bodily functions were perfectly normal to have, but not appropriate to share. Bathroom stuff is private, and it is unladylike to discuss such things, especially in mixed company. My husband was raised very similarly, although being a guy he could get away with more than he chooses to.
We don't poot in front of each other, we don't pee in front of each other, we don't talk about poop...it's just how we were raised.
Must be southern... because I have only experienced that with "proper southern folk".... that's not a slam, it's an observation.
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homerjspartan wrote: »Everything goes out the window once you have kids. Watching my wife fire poop nuggets across the delivery room while my son was crowning and she was screaming at me what a complete SOB I was for doing this to her, kind of makes the "oops, I tooted" sort of irrelevant.
Lmao I can't even keep a straight face while reading this.But seriously,once you have birthed kids and had your whole body on display it is hard to keep fart and poops to yourself. Btw I would much rather "fart" then whisper in my panties....gross!!
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zachbonner wrote: »midwifekelley2350 wrote: »my friend is vegan and swears that his system works so well that he almost never has gas...i like meat, eggs, milk and cheese so i will keep farting!
He's a liar. Vegetables cause it too.
Right?? Vegetables are KNOWN for their amazing flatulence production!0 -
Never fear, you'll get one of these soon enough.0 -
LickingSnail wrote: »Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
This is probably one of the funniest things I have read today. So first thank you for the laugh. Secondly, are you for real? like really real?
Seriously. My mother taught us that bodily functions were perfectly normal to have, but not appropriate to share. Bathroom stuff is private, and it is unladylike to discuss such things, especially in mixed company. My husband was raised very similarly, although being a guy he could get away with more than he chooses to.
We don't poot in front of each other, we don't pee in front of each other, we don't talk about poop...it's just how we were raised.
Must be southern... because I have only experienced that with "proper southern folk".... that's not a slam, it's an observation.
Fair enough. I'm southern and I was raised the same way. I'm really private about assorted bodily functions and I occasionally have people say thy assume I don't have them. Not true,
of course. I had my gall bladder removed when I was around 20 (I know, I know. Very young but those are the breaks when you're a fat kid.) and since then particularly greasy food (I'm looking at you, McDonald's!) throws my digestive system into a tailspin.
Also, I was trying to figure out how to incorporate the word "tailwind" into this comment but was unsuccessful. I call that a tiny victory for civilization.0 -
Rather creepy how someone's very first post is bringing back a post from 3 years ago...and it's about farts. Fetish?0
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Guilty as charged. I'm from Alabama, raised in a military family, my husband from rural Florida, raised on an orange grove.LickingSnail wrote: »Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
This is probably one of the funniest things I have read today. So first thank you for the laugh. Secondly, are you for real? like really real?
Seriously. My mother taught us that bodily functions were perfectly normal to have, but not appropriate to share. Bathroom stuff is private, and it is unladylike to discuss such things, especially in mixed company. My husband was raised very similarly, although being a guy he could get away with more than he chooses to.
We don't poot in front of each other, we don't pee in front of each other, we don't talk about poop...it's just how we were raised.
Must be southern... because I have only experienced that with "proper southern folk".... that's not a slam, it's an observation.
The south has a lot of "proper" rules that the rest of the country probably finds odd or antiquated.
I don't wear white before Easter or after Labor Day, I always offer guests a glass of sweet tea upon entering my home, I call everybody sir and ma'am, regardless of age, alwasy RSVP and never show up uninvited, don't take phone calls when you have company, never show up to dinner empty handed, hand written thank you notes are a must...the list can go on and on.
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Guilty as charged. I'm from Alabama, raised in a military family, my husband from rural Florida, raised on an orange grove.LickingSnail wrote: »Totally serious. It's a common courtesy in our house. In the 4 years we've been together, he has never heard me poot...nor have I heard him, with them exception being once in his sleep.
There have been a few times that I couldn't help it and I was able to blame the dog, but otherwise I will just go "cropdust" another room and he is none the wiser.
Will I be able to keep that up until "death do us part"? Probably not, but I'll try as long as I can. I don't want him associating any unpleasant bodily smells or functions with me.
He's not stupid, he knows I, like all humans, poot and poop and such, but we keep those bathroom behaviors to ourselves as much as we can.
This is probably one of the funniest things I have read today. So first thank you for the laugh. Secondly, are you for real? like really real?
Seriously. My mother taught us that bodily functions were perfectly normal to have, but not appropriate to share. Bathroom stuff is private, and it is unladylike to discuss such things, especially in mixed company. My husband was raised very similarly, although being a guy he could get away with more than he chooses to.
We don't poot in front of each other, we don't pee in front of each other, we don't talk about poop...it's just how we were raised.
Must be southern... because I have only experienced that with "proper southern folk".... that's not a slam, it's an observation.
The south has a lot of "proper" rules that the rest of the country probably finds odd or antiquated.
I don't wear white before Easter or after Labor Day, I always offer guests a glass of sweet tea upon entering my home, I call everybody sir and ma'am, regardless of age, alwasy RSVP and never show up uninvited, don't take phone calls when you have company, never show up to dinner empty handed, hand written thank you notes are a must...the list can go on and on.
And all while holding in her farts. You ma'am are most impressive.
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This thread reminds me of my dh who every time either he or I fart there has to be an open discussion on what food or combination of foods caused said fart.0
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healthygreek wrote: »This thread reminds me of my dh who every time either he or I fart there has to be an open discussion on what food or combination of foods caused said fart.
That is awesome!0 -
Since my husband I started cooking mostly from Cook This Not That, we have the same problem haha and now even when we aren't using the book. It never happened so often before. It may have something to do with their delicious recipes.... or maybe not. Just thought that was a weird coincidence! ETNT forever!
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