1600 Calorie diet!? Seriously?

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Replies

  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    My hat is off to you and your truly ingenious sarcasm, OP
  • pepperpat64
    pepperpat64 Posts: 423 Member

    I see what you did there. Courtesy laugh aimed right at you.
    FYI..I looked at cheese. Is there a chance of survival?

    Yes, rinse your eyes with lemon water.

    OohBurn.gif

    No, really. That would burn.
  • heirloomtomato
    heirloomtomato Posts: 13 Member
    Since we are to drink the lemon, then we measure it in cups, right? Or do we weigh it? And why do we weigh solids again?

    And really, where DOES peanut butter stand in all of this?
  • ithrowconfetti
    ithrowconfetti Posts: 451 Member
    edited November 2014
    I really want to try this 1600 calorie diet out, but I'm afraid of rule #1.

    tumblr_m1pbm9MoFO1rsvwibo1_500.gif

    How do I drink a villain? Do I measure in cups? Please help.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    joker_clap.gif
  • Misshodge64
    Misshodge64 Posts: 8,588 Member
    jasonmh630 wrote: »
    joker_clap.gif
    LOL
  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
    i just ate cheese and carbs for lunch. carbs! and cheese! but it had a little protein. and it was lean. the crumpet with cream cheese and fig butter was delicious and definitely recommended. the carrot i could have skipped.

    also you forgot "you must drink 3 gallons of water a day"

    and if you dont like vegetables you have to stop being a child.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    What if I weigh the same as a duck? Wouldn't I then have to measure in cords, like wood?
  • squeepig
    squeepig Posts: 89 Member
    What happens if I cut the cheese? :o
  • Tbaby1514
    Tbaby1514 Posts: 216 Member
    You forgot that they shouldn't drink water either! Fish have SEX in that stuff.
  • Chickaboo2014
    Chickaboo2014 Posts: 136 Member
    B) ROFLMAO
  • josul75
    josul75 Posts: 41 Member
    I heard that diet soda's main ingredient is pure evil. It actually turns you bad from the inside. Is this true?
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
    chadya07 wrote: »
    i just ate cheese and carbs for lunch. carbs! and cheese! but it had a little protein. and it was lean. the crumpet with cream cheese and fig butter was delicious and definitely recommended. the carrot i could have skipped.

    also you forgot "you must drink 3 gallons of water a day"

    and if you dont like vegetables you have to stop being a child.

    You're obviously dead already from the cheese and carbs. How are you posting?
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
    Tbaby1514 wrote: »
    You forgot that they shouldn't drink water either! Fish have SEX in that stuff.


    200.gif

    Woah I never even thought about that, I guess thats why the sea is so salty!
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    josul75 wrote: »
    I heard that diet soda's main ingredient is pure evil. It actually turns you bad from the inside. Is this true?

    I'll let you know after the exorcism.
  • N2Couture
    N2Couture Posts: 2,762 Member
    LoneWolf_70 wrote: »
    im 6'5, 228 and have lost 113lbs and i have mostly lived on a 1600 cal diet + burning 1000 a day with weights and cardio. I know your post is just joking, but it actually can be done.


    I accidentally (ok on purpose) eat above even 1600 .. by hmmmm .. countless amounts and yetvmy body is shrinking. Win. Btw OP .. too funny.
  • Tiernan1212
    Tiernan1212 Posts: 797 Member
    chadya07 wrote: »
    i just ate cheese and carbs for lunch. carbs! and cheese! but it had a little protein. and it was lean. the crumpet with cream cheese and fig butter was delicious and definitely recommended. the carrot i could have skipped.

    also you forgot "you must drink 3 gallons of water a day"

    and if you dont like vegetables you have to stop being a child.

    Nope, you haven't been paying attention! Water = death. That's why you drink the lemon.

  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    Some_Watery_Tart wrote: »
    What if I weigh the same as a duck? Wouldn't I then have to measure in cords, like wood?

    No. You are a witch and must be burned at the stake.
  • Allterrain_Lady
    Allterrain_Lady Posts: 421 Member
    This is so true. Real things at stake here. Last thursday, I ate 1599.93 calories and my hair fell off overnight. To make it grow back, I looked on the internet and did what it said (cause Interent's always righ). I did one push-up and a half (don't want to bulk, I'm a girl) facing the moon at exactly midnight.
    I was hungry from the workout so I looked at cheese through google glasses (those filter the calories) while painting my toenails with limon juice.
    AM I SAFE?
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Your facial expression is perfectly attuned to this post - brilliant!

    I do everything you stated on this list, but chase it down with a whiskey garnished with kale (throw away the kale).
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    neandermagnon wrote: »
    All the Homo erectuses died because they didn't know how to eat exactly 1641.35 calories every day, and so could not evolve into Homo sapiens.

    Lies. They died because they all went into 'starvation mode'. It is known.

  • Tiernan1212
    Tiernan1212 Posts: 797 Member
    Lookingformyself wrote: »
    This is so true. Real things at stake here. Last thursday, I ate 1599.93 calories and my hair fell off overnight. To make it grow back, I looked on the internet and did what it said (cause Interent's always righ). I did one push-up and a half (don't want to bulk, I'm a girl) facing the moon at exactly midnight.
    I was hungry from the workout so I looked at cheese through google glasses (those filter the calories) while painting my toenails with limon juice.
    AM I SAFE?

    You should be good. Except everyone knows you're supposed to face away from the moon.

    But you saved everything with the limon juice.

  • Hischell30
    Hischell30 Posts: 20
    Ok lil question for you ... I'm pregnant should I change my calorie intake amount?
  • Allterrain_Lady
    Allterrain_Lady Posts: 421 Member
    Tiernan1212 wrote: »
    Lookingformyself wrote: »

    You should be good. Except everyone knows you're supposed to face away from the moon.

    But you saved everything with the limon juice.

    Thanks!! If it were to happen again (God forbid!) I'll be careful about the moon thing. Don't want to mess that twice!!!
  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
    tincanonastring wrote: »
    chadya07 wrote: »
    i just ate cheese and carbs for lunch. carbs! and cheese! but it had a little protein. and it was lean. the crumpet with cream cheese and fig butter was delicious and definitely recommended. the carrot i could have skipped.

    also you forgot "you must drink 3 gallons of water a day"

    and if you dont like vegetables you have to stop being a child.

    You're obviously dead already from the cheese and carbs. How are you posting?


    vampire. the cheese turned me into a vampire. i no longer eat anything except the centers of brie.

  • ThomasGinter
    ThomasGinter Posts: 36 Member
    You could all learn a thing or two from the people in this clip. Clearly they take fitness more seriously than any one on here.

    http://youtu.be/lraDNDuFNj8
  • LoraKay131
    LoraKay131 Posts: 58 Member
    wtf did i just read....so eat ketones wrapped in furlongs?
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