Female Lifters

I'd like to get into weight training, but I feel like the free weight section of the gym is off-limits to me. The few times I've gone over there I've gotten some seriously judging looks. I can't say for certain whether it's because I'm a woman or because I'm starting with such small weights, but it makes me uncomfortable to have all those eyes on me.

Does anyone have this problem/suggestions of what I can do? I'd really like to know I'm not the only one who deals with this.
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Replies

  • FitFitzy331
    FitFitzy331 Posts: 308 Member
    In my old gym I got looks and the men assumed I had no idea what I was doing so they would lift directly in front of me (when I was watching my form in the mirror) and just assume I didn't need any weights or benches that were free. Sometimes people suck, the best advice I can give is walk in like you own the place, if they are around something you need just politely ask, "is this free?" "can I jump in between your sets?" and look confident. Confidence is key. I love my new gym where people are friendlier but also more focused on gains so I feel comfortable there. Don't let anyone stop you from your goals! Good luck!
  • SaltNBurnBoys
    SaltNBurnBoys Posts: 170 Member
    I guess my real issue is that I DON'T know what I'm doing haha. I've been told to check out NROLFW, but even with that I'll be trying things out for the first time, which will no doubt make me look like I'm totally clueless. But maybe having a reference will make me feel a little more confident.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    research a routine (starting strength, new rules, etc) and know what lifts you have to do going into your session. An app or pad and paper are more than find for keeping track of things throughout your session.

    spend some time on youtube watching vids on form/technique.

    Knowing what you have to do and knowing how to do it is a huge first step. After that, it's just about putting in the work.


    Beyond that, don't let other people influence you. Easier said than done, I know... but it's a life skill that will translate far beyond the gym.
  • Anniebotnen
    Anniebotnen Posts: 332 Member
    Are you sure they are judging, and not just interested to see a woman in that part of the gym? In my gym, very few women use the free weights, so the guys tend to look, but I have never felt judged in a negative way. And even if they did, who cares? Just go do your workout - I think you'll find that the majority of those guys are really nice and actually enjoy seeing some ladies working the free weights!
  • jstrun
    jstrun Posts: 70 Member
    Honestly confidence is key. like above posters said, know what your going to do, memorize it if you have to, or put on your phone. walk in there like you are a regular and just put some headphones on and do your thing...everyone is ALWAYS going to judge and i'm sure you judge them just as much...I know i judge the people who are there 24/7 as if its a social club and wander around in my way...they annoy the hell out of me, but i'm sure my judging them won't stop them from doing what they want to do!
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    I started with stronglifts because it was simple and minimal types of exercise. Before getting started, I read a lot on technique and proper form and watched a lot of videos. You can even try barbell exercises at home with a broomstick first to get a feel for the movement.

    Once I felt like I kind of knew what I was getting into, I decided to get into the weight room. I was still scared of looking like an idiot, so I started on a Sunday morning when the gym first opened. I figured a lot of people would be hung over and sleeping in from the night before or at church and therefore less people to look at me and judge me, and I lift weekdays at 5am. Almost 2 years later, I'm still lifting at those times because it's more likely the squat rack will be free.

    Also, a weight lifting support group (even if it's online) is also a great help. There's a stronglifts for women group that is fantastic!
  • morgiee_lynne
    morgiee_lynne Posts: 141 Member
    Bodybuilding.com has great videos to teach you proper form on basically any lift you can imagine. Don't go to the threads there because basically they are all judgemental meatheads.

    As for the weird looks, shoot them one back. Or just ignore them, I know you want to look around and see what others are doing but if you aren't looking at them they'll stop looking at you.

    But keep up the hard work and once you get into a routine and find out what works for you I am sure you'll have great success!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Definitely having a plan/routine ready to go will make it much better. You should do your research including form, find something that might work for you, print it off and bring it with you so that you will have it in front of you.

    As far as the judging looks, I doubt they are really being judgmental. You are a new face and they have probably been looking at all the same ones between sets for so long it is nice to have a change of scenery. Block them out and do your thing. You have just as much right to be there as any other person in the room. It's also important to remember that every person in there had a first day, too. They didn't magically get buff and then decide to go to the gym to keep it up.
  • Old_Man_McGucket
    Old_Man_McGucket Posts: 310 Member
    What anyone giving you weird looks is thinking...
    ahkp7kemgagn.jpg
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    auddii wrote: »
    I started with stronglifts because it was simple and minimal types of exercise. Before getting started, I read a lot on technique and proper form and watched a lot of videos. You can even try barbell exercises at home with a broomstick first to get a feel for the movement.

    Once I felt like I kind of knew what I was getting into, I decided to get into the weight room. I was still scared of looking like an idiot, so I started on a Sunday morning when the gym first opened. I figured a lot of people would be hung over and sleeping in from the night before or at church and therefore less people to look at me and judge me, and I lift weekdays at 5am. Almost 2 years later, I'm still lifting at those times because it's more likely the squat rack will be free.

    Also, a weight lifting support group (even if it's online) is also a great help. There's a stronglifts for women group that is fantastic!

    And I should have added, for all I cared/worried about people judging me, it never happened. I came to feel like "one of the guys" pretty quickly, especially since there were only about 4 of us working out at that time. I actually found I was far more judgmental watching people lift and critiquing their form in my head. Some people I think do weird things or have bad form. Then, the more I read, they are doing variations that target different muscles. Turns out I'm judging for no reason, and I'm the a$$hat in the weight section...
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    What anyone giving you weird looks is thinking...
    ahkp7kemgagn.jpg

    Heaven forbid anyone be concerned about their heart and lung health...
  • giggitygoo
    giggitygoo Posts: 1,978 Member
    Are you sure you're not projecting? It's easy to feel like you're being judged when you're uncomfortable and over analyzing what everyone else is doing. Keep it up and the novelty of "new woman in weight room" will wear off.

    Plus, be prepared for people to look at you. It's common courtesy to be aware of the people around you in the weight room. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, or that they're judging you - they might just want the space you're occupying or the equipment you're on.

    The best advice I can give is to go in with a plan and attack it. When you're working hard enough you won't care what anyone else is doing.

    Strong lifts is a great starting point.
  • Unknown
    edited November 2014
    This content has been removed.
  • charlie_anne
    charlie_anne Posts: 46 Member
    Felt really awkward at first especially with buff guys spotting each other and spending a lot of time in the rather small weights section in my gym. Soon realised they don't care who's doing what and neither should I. All there to improve ourselves :)
  • SaltNBurnBoys
    SaltNBurnBoys Posts: 170 Member
    giggitygoo wrote: »
    Are you sure you're not projecting? It's easy to feel like you're being judged when you're uncomfortable and over analyzing what everyone else is doing. Keep it up and the novelty of "new woman in weight room" will wear off.

    Plus, be prepared for people to look at you. It's common courtesy to be aware of the people around you in the weight room. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, or that they're judging you - they might just want the space you're occupying or the equipment you're on.

    The best advice I can give is to go in with a plan and attack it. When you're working hard enough you won't care what anyone else is doing.

    Strong lifts is a great starting point.

    This may very well be what's happening. But I think I'll feel a lot better going in with a plan of attack. If nothing else, remembering what I'm there to do will keep me focused on me.
  • mustgetmuscles1
    mustgetmuscles1 Posts: 3,346 Member
    What anyone giving you weird looks is thinking...
    ahkp7kemgagn.jpg

    Heaven forbid anyone be concerned about their heart and lung health...

    Heaven forbid people actually learn that weightlifting has heart and lung benefits as well.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    edited November 2014
    Most gyms have "regulars," especially in the free weights area. If you start going on a regular schedule, you'll quickly notice the people who are always there at that particular time. You're probably not getting looks because you're a woman -- they're just noticing a new person in the room. Also, everyone watches everyone else. It's not because you're out of place or because you're doing anything wrong. It's just because you're moving within their field of vision. (I'm being serious -- I zone out between sets and stare at other people constantly. Sometimes it's because they're doing something that looks cool and I'm interested, but 90% of the time I'm not actually processing any information and my eye is drawn to the thing that's moving).
  • mustgetmuscles1
    mustgetmuscles1 Posts: 3,346 Member
    AliceDark wrote: »
    Most gyms have "regulars," especially in the free weights area. If you start going on a regular schedule, you'll quickly notice the people who are always there at that particular time. You're probably not getting looks because you're a woman -- they're just noticing a new person in the room. Also, everyone watches everyone else. It's not because you're out of place or because you're doing anything wrong. It's just because you're moving within their field of vision.


    Yep this^

    I have no doubt people looked up and noticed you but your interpretation of what they were thinking is all yours.

    Someone comes into the weightlifting section you look up and see them. Then go back to your workout.
  • molissep
    molissep Posts: 452 Member
    When I started lifting I had already been going to my gym for a while and regularly saw the same trainers, so I asked for help. Can you tell me if I'm doing this right? How do I go about doing that? etc. My suggestion for getting more comfortable would be to see if you can get a training session, (most gyms provide one free session) but make it clear that these are the things I want to make sure I'm doing correctly. Other than that, ignore everyone else and do you! Over time the guys will get used to seeing you over there and it won't phase you or them anymore!
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    What anyone giving you weird looks is thinking...
    ahkp7kemgagn.jpg

    Heaven forbid anyone be concerned about their heart and lung health...

    Heaven forbid people actually learn that weightlifting has heart and lung benefits as well.

    :laugh: :drinker:
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    OP, I felt the same way. So I had a trainer take me around for 3 sessions and show me how to use all the weight equipment. Then I dumped the trainer and learned good form on my own by reading Starting Strength, youtube videos etc. But having her show me around and step over the forbidden threshold to the weight room helped me immensely. Once I was over there I felt fine.
  • jaquelynny
    jaquelynny Posts: 94 Member
    AliceDark wrote: »
    Most gyms have "regulars," especially in the free weights area. If you start going on a regular schedule, you'll quickly notice the people who are always there at that particular time. You're probably not getting looks because you're a woman -- they're just noticing a new person in the room. Also, everyone watches everyone else. It's not because you're out of place or because you're doing anything wrong. It's just because you're moving within their field of vision.


    Yep this^

    I have no doubt people looked up and noticed you but your interpretation of what they were thinking is all yours.

    Someone comes into the weightlifting section you look up and see them. Then go back to your workout.

    ^^^this- i am a regular in the morning and at night i notice when someone is new, look at them, check out the package, and get back to my workout. honestly they dont care uness you are using something they want or they want to pick you up.

    since day 1- they looked at me then and they look at me now, they must like the way i workout. "dance like no one is watching"

    jamie easons plan on bodybuilding.com will give you a training split and a video for each exercise
    start with basic stuff-then move on as you learn, everyone starts somewhere and everyone is the gym knows that
    chest fly
    lat pull down
    leg press
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    If you can afford it, get a session or two with a personal trainer.

    You mentioned NROLFW -- that is a really good one that has helped a lot of women on here reach some amazing results.

    So talk to the trainer you are considering beforehand, let them know that you have already selected a program and that you need help knowing how to do it properly and safely, and let them know what program you've selected so they can refresh themselves on anything unfamiliar before meeting with you. If the trainer wants to push their own agenda on you, tell them you don't think you'll be a good fit together and talk to another one.

    If you can't or don't want to do a trainer session, then go to Youtube and type in each exercise and watch a few videos on how it's done. There's also some very good websites like JeFit which have short videos or graphics on how to do each exercise. Pay attention to the safety info, and read through the instructions in the book several times.

    Lastly, when you go into the freeweight section, I know it's hard to do, but don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You pay the same membership fee that they do, you have the same right to be there. Dirty looks won't cost you anything. And you'd be surprised how friendly some of those guys are if you need a hand with something.
  • W31RD0
    W31RD0 Posts: 173 Member
    What anyone giving you weird looks is thinking...
    ahkp7kemgagn.jpg

    Next thing you know
    Shawty squat low low low low, low low low low
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    What anyone giving you weird looks is thinking...
    ahkp7kemgagn.jpg

    Heaven forbid anyone be concerned about their heart and lung health...

    Cardio = Lifting weights faster. The end.

  • maoribadger
    maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
    Im doing a slow sneaky segue into the free weights area, Im about half machines, half weights now. Ive started with a personal trainer who so far has taught me deadlifts, shoulder press, bench and some torturous thing she calls thrusters. So far the only comment I have had is 'how many sets do you have left please'. And yesterday one of the regulars smiled and said Hi. Now I just need to find the courage to see if someone will spot me which is why I keep using the machines as I go alone
  • jaquelynny
    jaquelynny Posts: 94 Member
    Im doing a slow sneaky segue into the free weights area, Im about half machines, half weights now. Ive started with a personal trainer who so far has taught me deadlifts, shoulder press, bench and some torturous thing she calls thrusters. So far the only comment I have had is 'how many sets do you have left please'. And yesterday one of the regulars smiled and said Hi. Now I just need to find the courage to see if someone will spot me which is why I keep using the machines as I go alone

    ask for the spot-great way to meet friends as well
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
    auddii wrote: »
    I started with stronglifts because it was simple and minimal types of exercise. Before getting started, I read a lot on technique and proper form and watched a lot of videos. You can even try barbell exercises at home with a broomstick first to get a feel for the movement.

    Once I felt like I kind of knew what I was getting into, I decided to get into the weight room. I was still scared of looking like an idiot, so I started on a Sunday morning when the gym first opened. I figured a lot of people would be hung over and sleeping in from the night before or at church and therefore less people to look at me and judge me, and I lift weekdays at 5am. Almost 2 years later, I'm still lifting at those times because it's more likely the squat rack will be free.

    Also, a weight lifting support group (even if it's online) is also a great help. There's a stronglifts for women group that is fantastic!

    I was basically going to write this exact same comment. I started at home and did one workout with a pair of rusty old 20lb. dumbbells just to get an idea of what the movements felt like. I started Stronglifts on May 3, 2014. Prior to that, I practiced once with the dumbbells, watched a lot of videos, and read a lot. My first workout was at 5am on a weekday in the gym, and though there was a decent crowd at the gym at that time, no one said anything to me, bothered me, or made me feel uncomfortable.

    And I still lift at 5am M-W-F because I know I'll get the only squat rack in the gym :)
  • maoribadger
    maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
    jaquelynny wrote: »
    Im doing a slow sneaky segue into the free weights area, Im about half machines, half weights now. Ive started with a personal trainer who so far has taught me deadlifts, shoulder press, bench and some torturous thing she calls thrusters. So far the only comment I have had is 'how many sets do you have left please'. And yesterday one of the regulars smiled and said Hi. Now I just need to find the courage to see if someone will spot me which is why I keep using the machines as I go alone

    ask for the spot-great way to meet friends as well

    I think I am gonna have to as I am bored with the machines. Luckily I can train with a buddy twice a week so I lift then
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    edited November 2014
    jaquelynny wrote: »
    Im doing a slow sneaky segue into the free weights area, Im about half machines, half weights now. Ive started with a personal trainer who so far has taught me deadlifts, shoulder press, bench and some torturous thing she calls thrusters. So far the only comment I have had is 'how many sets do you have left please'. And yesterday one of the regulars smiled and said Hi. Now I just need to find the courage to see if someone will spot me which is why I keep using the machines as I go alone

    ask for the spot-great way to meet friends as well

    I think I am gonna have to as I am bored with the machines. Luckily I can train with a buddy twice a week so I lift then

    If you have squat racks/power cages at your gym, use the safety bars when you don't have a spotter.