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Any tips to help shake food shame?

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TJR88
TJR88 Posts: 37 Member
edited November 2014 in Motivation and Support
I absolutely love take out food, from burgers and pizzas to curry and burritos. It just all tastes SO good. If I had to boil down my excess weight to one single factor it would be eating too much takeout. Everytime I've tried to lose weight in the past (without tracking calories) I've done best when preparing my own food and swearing off take out and when I inevitably ran out of willpower and found myself devouring copious amounts of take out I'd feel such shame and guilt and disgust with myself.

Now that I am tracking calories I'm finding ways to enjoy much of the take out I want while maintaining the deficit I need to lose weight but it all still comes with that side of shame, I just can't seem to shake it. Had take out this evening, ate a reasonable portion size, tracked it and stayed well within goal but still just feeling kind of ashamed :(

Anyone else dealt with the same thing? How did you shake it? Will the feeling just go away as I lose more weight?

Replies

  • McBoffin
    McBoffin Posts: 76 Member
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    I see you dilemma. The benefit of food you cook yourself is you know exactly what's in it.

    I've only been doing this three weeks and have avoided take outs and all convenience food - apart from the weight loss I feel a load better for it.
  • LeonCX
    LeonCX Posts: 862 Member
    edited November 2014
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    I can absolutely relate. I live alone and hate cooking. Take out restaurant food is a big temptation. But, if you had some, and it was a reasonable portion and you logged it - convert that shame into a victory. Eating foods you love and being able to lose weight while doing it - is what it's all about. Better than what I can do, that's for sure.

    - Well done, I say. (*)
  • adamitri
    adamitri Posts: 614 Member
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    I don't feel ashamed when I have take out now. I did before I tracked because I ate so much I would be so full until I was almost sick. Then I would shamefully sit in a takeout stupor. Now I log it and fit it in and I feel so proud of myself. I can eat and be in control, the food doesn't control me. Instead of shame it's almost a sense of relief.
  • Wicked_Seraph
    Wicked_Seraph Posts: 388 Member
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    I know the feeling. My boyfriend loves take-out and whatnot, and for the past three years I've been happy to oblige him because hello, delicious food I don't have to make myself (plus we get to go out, even if it's to a little pizza place)? Hell yeah. Except that turns into "oh hell no" when I inevitably stuff myself way past satiation and into "ugh I suck" territory.

    Tracking calories helps. It forces me to be mindful of my portions, and it's actually come with the surprising discovery that although I can pack down a LOT of food, I don't actually have much of an appetite. I think the shame of UGH TAKE OUT I SUUUUUCK is sorta reduced when you take control of the situation - log the calories and eat a more reasonable portion. There's no reason to deny yourself something you enjoy as long as there's moderation in it, I think. :smiley:
  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Don't eat it until you track it. If you log it first, you will likely make better choices about where to eat. Also, don't eat it if it's low quality. My favorite fast food treat is a Little Bacon Cheeseburger from Five Guys. As long as there are no sides, it's about 630 calories, and I can fit one into my daily calorie budget (on occasion).

    I've decided for myself personally that McDonald's just isn't high enough quality to make it worth the calories. However, if I have nowhere else to eat, a McDouble is about 390 calories, so I can totally fit that in.

    If a buddy wants to eat at KFC, grilled chicken is a good option (again, watch the sides; I usually do not order any sides at all).

    Oh, also, Panera Bread has decent options as long as you avoid the goodies/breads. I find salads really time-consuming to fix for a single person, so I prefer to eat salads someone else makes! :disagree:

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  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Analyse why you feel shame. Its probably becayse you havent programmed your brain to accept that if you stay in your calorie deficit then you will lose weight and fast food is ok to eat in moderation. Therefore if you are eating it you are allowed to enjoy it and feel no shame. What you are trying to avoid is eating to excess, which you were not.

    Dont demonise food and write it down so you understand your food guilt is misdirected and just a waste of time. Once ypu get used to loging then you will realise you might wnat to get more food for your calories elsewhere.
  • 0067808
    0067808 Posts: 119 Member
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    Hey - sometimes a take out can buy you some valuable time so that you can exercise or at least get off that sofa. As long as you're accounting for it in your calorie allowance, its no sin. But as 999tigger says, you might find that you could 'spend' your allowance better. Tonight I had a cream donut - I built it into my calorie allowance, I looked forward to it all day - do I feel guilty? Not one little bit - I feel in control of my diet rather than it controlling me.
  • RWTBR
    RWTBR Posts: 140 Member
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    Oh yeah I can help you with this. You don't need to feel ashamed of what you are eating at all, if you stay at or under your calorie limit it's no problem. A calorie is a calorie, whether it's from carrots or a big mac or coffee. You can eat healthy foods and some treats and still lose weight. I eat a lot of crap and I am super fit and have lost a ton of weight. Enjoy your food and just make the math work!
  • blossomingbutterfly
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    I log before I eat it. Sometimes it's super easy because the more popular places have all the nutritional information online, so when you log it here you can see if it's correct or not. The places where I cannot find anything online about it, I log each thing individually to try and get a more accurate account of what I'm eating. I find that better than just searching for what it is, not knowing the ingredients.

    I do eat pizza. I do eat Lebanses food. I do eat Chinese food. I do eat sushi. I do eat McDonalds on occasion. I do eat food I adore and food that is take out! I refuse to cook on Friday and Sunday nights. I cook the rest of the week breakfast, lunch, and supper for two people. I need a break, those are my break nights. Sometimes we do Subway (crazy high in sodium though, doesn't feel worth it to me these days), and other places. It is quite doable.

    I find that provided I can find an accurate calorie and sodium count (I'm trying to lower my sodium levels while staying under my calorie goals while trying to up my protein and fibre levels), then it's all good because I will work it in if I want it. It's the places I can't find information for that I freak out about.

    Just do your research and find acceptable meals for yourself that you love. Losing weight isn't about depriving yourself of food you enjoy. It's about enjoying it while working it into your goals.

    I do feel ashamed when I eat out too. At least, I'm working on NOT feeling that way. It's a struggle and it's a process. You will eventually not feel ashamed as you start to see you can work in what you want.

    Good luck.
  • habit365
    habit365 Posts: 174
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    I think that the feeling will lessen over time as you find that you can eat limited amounts of takeout and still meet your weight loss goals.
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
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    I would use that guilt as motivation for my next workout.
  • sparklelioness
    sparklelioness Posts: 600 Member
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    TJR88 wrote: »
    I absolutely love take out food, from burgers and pizzas to curry and burritos. It just all tastes SO good. If I had to boil down my excess weight to one single factor it would be eating too much takeout. Everytime I've tried to lose weight in the past (without tracking calories) I've done best when preparing my own food and swearing off take out and when I inevitably ran out of willpower and found myself devouring copious amounts of take out I'd feel such shame and guilt and disgust with myself.

    Now that I am tracking calories I'm finding ways to enjoy much of the take out I want while maintaining the deficit I need to lose weight but it all still comes with that side of shame, I just can't seem to shake it. Had take out this evening, ate a reasonable portion size, tracked it and stayed well within goal but still just feeling kind of ashamed :(

    Anyone else dealt with the same thing? How did you shake it? Will the feeling just go away as I lose more weight?

    For me it just took time... I love take out too, and what worked for me was having one "free day" a week where I eat what I want (within reason, I don't binge). After doing that the shame went away mostly, I think because I felt like after eating well and exercising all week, I DESERVED that big plate of Thai food.

    Today I went out with my sister, who was here from out of town, and we had fried calamari, crabcakes, french fries, and a couple Stellas, and I didn't feel guilty at all. I'm making progress, eating right most of the time, my blood numbers are good. I have nothing to feel guilty about. As long as you're doing your best to get healthier, there's nothing to beat yourself up for. I hate that society makes us feel that way as women. I've never seen a guy eat a huge meal and then be like "aww , I feel so bad now, I really shouldn't have eaten that". Guys don't give a f-. Why should we?
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    MIx it up. This does not have to be all or nothing. Cook at home some nights and some nights buy take out that you have tracked a head of time.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
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    I don't really have your problem but i certainly did have your dietary type of habit with sweet foods. I also have problems that have brought me into touch with psychologists and counselling,. I'd say you should go and have some sessions with a CBT therapist. that stands for cognitive behaviour therapy and they teach you how to challenge problematic aspects of your thinking.

    Clearly the shame is very very deep with you so you won't fix it straight away. But i would expect you could start to deal with it and have some tools that would help you. Visiting the supportive therapist for a while give you some time for reinforcement. there's also a book on weight issues written by a CBT therapist called Judith Beck . I would look that up. But in the end there's no replacement for a real person. I get both the book and the therapist at the same time if i were you.

    There are also other books that deal with this sort of problem but i would go with this particular approach first because they don't dictate how you should eat in anyway. The focus is only on your thinking patterns.

    On a personal note, i can say that i've learnt to suppress shame i feel over certain things so that i don't worry too much about them at all and they cause me no distress. That includes eating too much junk. That said i have quit sugar so i'm not at risk there anyway anymore. But with regard to the feeling, even before i quit sugar, i had dealt with the shame. One answer is just owning it and being totally open about it. Not saying you must run around telling everyone about all your secrets but i find it liberating to say things like "i'm a guts" or to say "i will eat 2 litres of icrecream in an afternoon" but at the same time, i can say oh i hate being fat. Its not like i'm proud of myself. Its just that i don't pretend its not happening. Hiding stuff makes feelings of shame more acute. I think i came upon this whole solution through therapy where you learn to be open and honest with your self and with others about stuff. Honesty with yourself is a great tool to have on your side and being able to own up to things with other people is also a great source of strength at times. Then you find, you won't do what you are really ashamed to do and for which there is no cure. For instance, i wouldn't go shoplifting. That would really kill me if someone found out but generally i have no desire to.

    Recently i had a situation where someone was giving me a hard time and tried very hard to put me in the *kitten*. Rather than get frightened that this person was going to put me in someone else's bad books, i thought, bugger it, i'm not going to take this so i put my story out there completely, knowing that i was risking getting myself booted out of the group and even said so. But of course it went totally well for me and it turned out that the other person is probably more in the *kitten* than me, although i don't yet know what the fall out with her was. All i know is that she didn't turn up last week. The whole thing was completely unnecessary but the other person was not accepting that she was in the wrong from the beginning and got defensive and decided to make mischief.

    When all is said and done its about taking responsibility. And forgiveness and acceptance. And then just doing the best you can.
  • DataSeven
    DataSeven Posts: 245 Member
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    There is no shame as long as you come in under your calorie goal.