What causes you to fail with your weight loss goal? Rant!

What causes you to fail with your weight loss goal? Rant+++

I am 38 years old and I have “diet” and exercised on and off since I was 13 years old. I have tried it all and lost weight, but I have never reached my goal weight. I have counted and logged calories many times, as well as other weight loss methods, but I like this one the best. However, I can never seem to stick to with it long enough to reach my ultimate weight loss goal.

I have never been a thin person as most of us picture a thin person. However, I have been “skinny” for being me, if you know what I mean. I am 5’5 and the skinniest I been in my adult life (after 20) is 142 pounds. When I was 22 I lost weight from 179 to 142 and it took me 8 months. I counted calories and spent much time at the gym. My husband (I married when I was 21 ) was at the time in the Army and not home a lot. I also had no kids back then and best of all, the gym was free of charge for service members and their families. My goal at that time was to drop down to 130 pounds because that’s what was recommended for my height. Once I reached 142 pounds I wore a solid size 6 and I just felt and looked great. So what do I do? …I stopped. I received many compliments and all that attention caused me to let go. I got too comfortable and all of sudden going to the gym and eating healthy was not on my mind anymore. The moment I felt like that, the pounds started to come back again.
Many times I stop because my husband stop, or something happens, an injury while working out for instance, and we take a few days off from working out. Then during those days I might eat something bad, I weigh myself and I gained 1 pound. That of course brings me down and now my motivation starting to go away and from there on I either quit or keep on going. Usually the former.

The crazy thing is, I know that gaining a few pounds or hitting a plateau is normal and the trick is to be stronger than that and work though it. Remind yourself how far you have come and how good you look once you reached your goal. But that is easier said than done.
How do you guys keep on going if there is nobody around you who share your goal to lose weight? I am sick of never finishing what I started in this weight loss journey of mine 
Thanks for listening to my long rant.

Replies

  • lisaducharme54
    lisaducharme54 Posts: 32 Member
    Hello,

    I feel alone right now because after Ten years of being with a guy that I really love and getting 'too comfortable' I lost myself. I forgot how to be 'me' alone! I tried every diet in the weight loss guide there was!
    Well the guy who I still love is taking time to work on himself and I am taking this time to work on me. It's a separation but our hearts are still together. At first I was hurt that I had to be without him, then I realized what a blessing it is right now.

    You know that Madonna song "I wasn't loving anybody until I was loving myself." Well I figure that applies to myself. All my life I have struggled with self acceptance. I figure if I can love myself then I can give myself whole back to him!

    As for nobody around to share my weight loss goal I am in the same boat! I am the largest one in my immediate family and it's a bummer. I hate how my brother can gain twenty pounds and lose it really fast.

    I think when I stepped on the scale at 302 I realized it was my breaking point. I asked for Bariatric surgery over and over, my primary care didn't go for it! I'm glad she didn't.

    I have yo-yoed for the past ten years and I have never felt so alone as I do right now. However I'm embracing the solitude and in eight weeks have lost twenty-four pounds!!

    I have a personal trainer that helps hold me accountable and a gym that now holds me accountable because they want my success story.

    Most important I hold myself accountable.

    I think through every plateau, every little gain you just have to let it go and just go with the weight loss and know yes it's like watching paint dry, However it all adds up really quick if you think about the losses.

    It's good you are determined that's what is going to help you out!!

    If you weren't determined you wouldn't be worried.

    You will get there ;)

    Lisa

  • sengalissa
    sengalissa Posts: 253 Member
    Typically, it is sleep deprivation! This is the typical pattern: my youngest gets sick and does not sleep well. (=wakes me up hourly) I miss my early morning exercise time window because I oversleep my alarm clock -> I am grumpy because I missed my ME time (=exercise) and because I am tired -> I eat less healthy. Then, because of it all, I get sick as well, and all of a sudden, it has been 1 week with poor diet and no exercise... So I don't want to weigh in -> am less motivated and accountable-> downward spiral.

    However, THIS time, after three horrible nights with crying toddler, I still got up ever day, and my diet was in check. She will have a cold all the time in winter, so if I don't suck it up, I will not reach my goals!!
  • ltssharon
    ltssharon Posts: 195 Member
    Sleep, some sort of "you only live once" personality - the party me, tired, smell and sight of my binge foods, laziness. It takes a LOT of dealing with this stuff to stay on track. Up 11 pounds this year, but since I am back on fitnesspal, I have had a better week. I need this avenue for help.
  • WantBestME
    WantBestME Posts: 128 Member
    Weekends!!!

    Mu DH feels that i have reached my goal..Though i have 13lbs to go!
    He says i look good now and says to eat normally and often wants to go out on weekends or orders outside food.

    When i try avoiding, he keeps on saying 'only one' and feeds me..then i feel guilty.
    Also i seldom go to gym on weekends coz its the time i have to spend with my baby(10 months old)...So again Weekends!!!
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Work and wine mainly. I can't bring myself to fix healthy lunches to bring with me, so I end up eating the junk the cafeteria bothers to leave out for the night shift people. Then there's wine. So much wine.
  • What causes you to fail with your weight loss goal? Rant+++

    I am 38 years old and I have “diet” and exercised on and off since I was 13 years old. I have tried it all and lost weight, but I have never reached my goal weight. I have counted and logged calories many times, as well as other weight loss methods, but I like this one the best. However, I can never seem to stick to with it long enough to reach my ultimate weight loss goal.

    How do you guys keep on going if there is nobody around you who share your goal to lose weight? I am sick of never finishing what I started in this weight loss journey of mine 
    Thanks for listening to my long rant.

    1. Consume less that your TDEE until you reach your GW then eat at maintenance
    2. It does not matter who is around you. You need to be self motivated and not make ANY excuses unless you want to continue yoyo dieting for the rest of your life.
  • worldofme
    worldofme Posts: 87 Member
    I completely understand! I started at 309, my highest and yo-yo dieted to about 279. Then I got serious and lost to 201. Then I started getting unwanted attention from men which Made me extremely uncomfortable and here I sit at 259 desperately trying to find me again. I never put myself first but not because my husband and 4 kids (17,5,5,4) wouldn't support me but because I am just not making that choice right now. I am desperately trying to overcome the obstacle of myself....
    Feel free to add me as a friend. I can always use supportive friends that understand the struggle.
  • maria0elisa
    maria0elisa Posts: 199 Member
    Hi!
    I know what you mean. I've also had this experience of losing weight, feeling like the task is "complete", and then stopping.

    This time around I realise how important maintenance is and I've also had this thought which you might find helpful:

    You’re never “overweight, full stop” and therefore can’t do anything about it, and you’re never “slim and safe”—it’s never in a stable state.
    Your weight is constantly in flux.
    The good side of this is that you have the power to make small, positive changes very easily as soon as you start feeling a little overweight; the bad/the responsibility is that you never reach an “end point” where you become a “slim person” again.. You’ve just always got to keep it in check.

    I think talking about "goals" in terms of weight/numbers is a problem here-- you've never really "finished" your weight loss "journey" or "reached your goal" because your weight is always changing.

    So a goal should be an ideal lifestyle that you then work hard to maintain, or a weight where you'd be happy with anything within a range, and you'd know that some days you fluctuate within that.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 937 Member
    edited November 2014
    " I got too comfortable and all of sudden going to the gym and eating healthy was not on my mind anymore. The moment I felt like that, the pounds started to come back again."

    The pounds did not start to come back on again on their own.
    If you watch your intake and output you will be able to maintain your weight. If you feel like you don't want to go to the gym and eat healthy, then you have to eat less. It's vigilance I'm afraid.
    This is something I struggle with too. You have to change how you view food. It's not a reward or a punishment, its fuel for your body and what activity you are doing. Sure you can eat out and have an overeat one day. But it has to be one day, not one month or one year.

    You can have chocolate or whatever if you want to. You just have to balance it against what your ultimate goal is. Thinking that it's 'bad' and you have messed up can cause you to give up entirely. You haven't failed by not working out or eating more on one day. It's the rest of the days that count.
  • kayl3igh88
    kayl3igh88 Posts: 428 Member

    darkrose20 wrote: »
    Work and wine mainly. I can't bring myself to fix healthy lunches to bring with me, so I end up eating the junk the cafeteria bothers to leave out for the night shift people. Then there's wine. So much wine.


    This except I work days and it's so easy to nip to the shop rather than spend 5 minutes packing a lunch especially if I feel like I'm late (I nearly never actually am, just feel that if I'm not early, I'm late). And wine. Just, wine. <3

  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    edited November 2014
    I think most of us can relate to this. Unfortunately, there's probably nothing any of us could say that would really help, but I'll try.

    I started yo-yo dieting when I was 15, constantly going on very low calorie diets, losing some weight, then putting it right back on. I think there comes a point when it just "clicks." For me, that was semi-recently. I realized that I was doing things the wrong way. Diets are temporary, and usually so is the weight loss. It's so cliche, but making permanent lifestyle changes is really the only way to make it stick.

    I stopped doing my typical 1200 calorie all-cardio diet/exercise plan and educated myself on fitness and nutrition. I started eating more and lifting and found out that losing weight wasn't nearly as difficult as I always tried to make it. I never feel hungry and miserable anymore. I never dread getting up super early to work out because I actually really love being under that bar. I just recently reached my goal, but I have no plans to just stop now that I'm here. There's no finish line - there's always room for improvement, even if I have no weight to lose. Getting stronger, fitter, healthier, etc. is what I'm focused on now.

    It's all trial and error, but you just have to find:

    1.) A nutritional plan that is sustainable. Something flexible that doesn't leave you feeling like you would happily murder someone if it meant you could have a donut. If you're feeling hungry often, calculate your TDEE and see if your calorie goal is too low. I regularly eat pizza, burgers, ice cream, chocolate, etc. and I still lose weight on a consistent basis. You don't need to eat carrot stick and celery all day in order to lose weight.

    2.) An exercise routine that you actually enjoy. Hate cardio? Then do less of it! There are plenty of other things you could be doing. I know I would've given up long ago if I was depending on the treadmill or elliptical, which I now consider to be torture devices. Lift weights! It's awesome. Do some kickboxing, HIIT, or Zumba to keep things interesting. And remember that abs are created in the kitchen. Weight loss is largely dependent on what you eat - exercise is for your health (and getting that smokin' hot bod once the weight is off).

    3.) A balance between doing things that will help you achieve your goals while also living your life. A dinner invitation or a holiday should not throw you off completely. You take these things in stride and continue on as normal the following day or as soon as you possibly can. You CAN lose weight without giving up your social life. Plenty of people here can attest to that.

    Also, give up all the excuses. Tell yourself, you either want it or you don't. The workout isn't over when you're tired, it's over when you're done doing what you planned to do when you started. The only person/thing we can blame for our failure is ourselves. Therefore, only we can fix it. Take responsibility and JUST DO IT!

    Hopefully that helped a little bit. Good luck! You CAN do this!
  • llUndecidedll
    llUndecidedll Posts: 724 Member
    edited November 2014
    I keep on going by psyching myself out/up. I keep making mini diet and fitness goals for myself each week, month, couple of days, etc. When users post challenges on the forums, I'm quick to join them... later realizing that one challenge interferes with another, but anywho. I pick a few and stick with them for a week or month or so, then change things again.

    I also started giving myself a maintenance week or days. During this time span I can exercise if I want to. I keep counting calories, but I don't go beyond maintenance. I then jump back on the horse.

    When I'm bored with the gym, I take my workouts outside. When I'm bored with my regular cardio, I search Youtube for a good workout or look to my graveyard of exercise DVDs. Being inconsistent with my regimen is what allows me to stay consistent with my weight loss.

    Also, my favorite quote is "Just Do It." I swear it works every time. I've had my ups and downs... I've been battling depression for two decades, but I'm still trying to change for the better.

    You can reach your goals. Change your program, change your pace, change your mentality, change what needs to be changed so that you can remain consistent, then you will have success... IMO.

    I still have a very, very long way to go. Who knows how long I'll stay on track, but I'm more prepared for the hiccups now than I was before.



  • Ha, well..
    •wanting instant gratification
    •people stressing me out
    •procrastinating with food
    •too much temptation
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,125 Member
    edited November 2014
    the only time I have trouble is when I fall into the mindset that I CANT do something if i DONT WANT TO. I totally am able, it's just not as fun. So it's me holding myself back. Once I realize that Im claiming that I CANT do something, when in actuality Im just moaning about not wanting to, then I snap out of it.
  • Isabelle_1929
    Isabelle_1929 Posts: 233 Member
    Hunger.