This time its for me?

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her_timetofly444
her_timetofly444 Posts: 6
in Getting Started
Ahhh, I have been on this journey of yo yo'ing for years. I like so many go up and down, and back again.

Anyways long story short because I don't want to painfully bore anyone. But I have got down to about 200lbs in July that was the Month in which I got married!!! annd that was aprox a 50lb loss in the last year. Woo! Ahh, I was feeling good- then it happened boom. things felt different between my now husband and I, but what? seriously, we have been together for 6 years The title of husband and wife can't really change things that much, could they? I felt distance. I felt like we were in the same room but a million miles a way....
Then there was that night. the night that really changed me. He didn't come home-he was working late- I trusted my gut and had to go search- and there it was- his vehicle in front of hotel. I knew right then was happening. I couldn't change it. What was done was surely done already or in the midst of being done. Would I give him the benefit of the doubt? Naw, this wasn't the first time he had a "wandering eye"..
I called him- confronted him- he came home.
we WILL fix this. sigh. But someday I really don't know.......fast forward to today- I'm packing on all those pounds...gained probably 30lbs back. Did I mention I am a stress, emotional eater? Holy Moly.

I don't know, is there something wrong with me? Maybe if I was not chubby in the first place this wouldn't have happened? Sigh, I don't know.....I just want a man to make me feel like I am beautiful and I don't have to compete with every other girl. I want to be someone's WHOLE world.

I'm not sure what this means for us...my emotions seem like such a roller coaster everyday.

BUT I have decided- I, ME, DONT deserve to let myself go because some man- with his own issues obviously decided to be unfaithful to me. I shouldn't allow him to have that power over me.

I NEED to get fit, get healthy and this time for ME. I need my confidence back.

I really HOPE I can rock this- this time. Anyone been here before? Sigh. Here I go.

Replies

  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
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    That's tough...sorry. Time to take care of you now. You can add me for support.
  • her_timetofly444
    her_timetofly444 Posts: 6
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    Thank you! That is what I am trying to tell myself. I need to take care of me and gain my confidence back, work on me and see where my road in life takes me!
    I felt like I really needed to vent last night- it was time to get it off my chest. Not one of my friends or family know what happened or what I am going through so it was building up!
  • meowiyer
    meowiyer Posts: 19 Member
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    Are you still with your husband?
  • juleszephyr
    juleszephyr Posts: 442 Member
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    First thing you should dump is the excess weight of the hubby. Once he has been unfaithful once he WILL do it again and you will always feel second best. please add me if you want. You are more than capable of doing this for yourself but you need to be honest with all aspects that are holding you back. He has / is destroying your self-esteem and confidence. You deserve better.
  • xtinalee17
    xtinalee17 Posts: 42 Member
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    I am sorry you are going through that. If you want some friends to help support feel free to add me!
  • her_timetofly444
    her_timetofly444 Posts: 6
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    meowiyer wrote: »
    Are you still with your husband?

    Yes, we are still together.

    Somedays I just don't know anymore though. That is why finally taking control of my life and my weight will hopefully allow me to look through the lense of my life a little clearer.
  • her_timetofly444
    her_timetofly444 Posts: 6
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    juleszephyr wrote: »
    First thing you should dump is the excess weight of the hubby. Once he has been unfaithful once he WILL do it again and you will always feel second best. please add me if you want. You are more than capable of doing this for yourself but you need to be honest with all aspects that are holding you back. He has / is destroying your self-esteem and confidence. You deserve better.

    Thank you.
    Sometimes I do feel I should leave. BUT I also try to believe some people can change. Sigh.
    I just no its effected my weight gain terribly. And I have to do something about it.
  • ellefire666
    ellefire666 Posts: 1
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    I think your name says it all... time to fly

    I have been in a similar situation, I was in a relationship for 12 years. I understand it's very difficult to leave because of all the what-ifs, and it's easy to wonder if it was you/your looks/personality/any teeny tiny thing you said that may have made him choose to do what he has done - and that's just it, he made his own choices regardless of whether he knew it would hurt you (again and again?).

    In the final three years I stayed "together" to "fix things" I slowly gained over 2 stone (28lbs). That was from comfort eating and over-caring by feeding us up, trying to make things "better".

    A suggestion would be maybe to separate whilst you take the time to sort yourself out - if/when you felt ready to go back at least your life lense would be a hell of a lot clearer and more focused on the positives.... on You.


    Best of Luck

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