Why won't I STICK with the PLAN? Why? Why? I want to WANT to! Help!

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I enjoy logging my food intake and I do great for about 3 weeks, then I have a bad day or evening and head straight for the chocolate (or "mom medicine", as I like to call it :-)). Then, I'm off track and just give up. I truly want to be at a healthier weight and I feel bad when I stop logging/tracking. My weakness is definitely sweets!! at night!! when the kids are asleep!! Any encouragement is welcome! I'm turning 49 this month and am in otherwise good health. I do have a sit-down job. My goal is to lose 40 lb. Thanks in advance!

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  • allanakern
    allanakern Posts: 245 Member
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    intermittent fasting worked wonders for me.
  • _sirenofthesea_
    _sirenofthesea_ Posts: 117 Member
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    SSL310 wrote: »
    I enjoy logging my food intake and I do great for about 3 weeks, then I have a bad day or evening and head straight for the chocolate (or "mom medicine", as I like to call it :-)). Then, I'm off track and just give up. I truly want to be at a healthier weight and I feel bad when I stop logging/tracking. My weakness is definitely sweets!! at night!! when the kids are asleep!! Any encouragement is welcome! I'm turning 49 this month and am in otherwise good health. I do have a sit-down job. My goal is to lose 40 lb. Thanks in advance!

    You'll get lots of opinions about why or how to "fix" this.

    What I've found - is that I had to finally decide that I was going to change. I let go of all the excuses, and embraced the challenge instead of giving up because it finally was more important to me to figure this out, then to start again. I still have a loooong way to go, but I'll get there - this time I know it. You'll get there, too if and when you decide you want to do it worse then you want to have to start again. :)

    Good luck! I know you have it in you -
  • Mattw82
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    Hello, I'm in exactly the same boat! its as if I am actually scared to let myself achieve my goal, constantly sabotaging myself - There's nothing wrong with having a bad day and just getting back on it and doing the right thing, why do we feel the need to just give up the instant we have a lapse ?!?!
    HELP haha
  • Linovitz
    Linovitz Posts: 79 Member
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    I have some chocolate raspberry tea that sometimes does the trick. You get the smell of chocolate and that can take the place of actually eating it. I also bought a bag of chocolate kisses for a quick, but low cal alternative when i just have to have real chocolate. Have to be careful not to eat more than one or two. Even if you have a bad day, still log it and log everything. If you have one or two bad days, just get back on track the next day. Don't give up. You can do this!
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
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    It sounds like a couple things going on:

    1. Lose the all or nothing attitude: If you got into a minor fender bender in the morning, would you immediately go out and total your car?

    2. Sounds like you are overly restricting. Learn about portion control and moderation, this takes some work, but once you learn this life is much easier. You can include chocolate into your every day life and this way its not something you crave.

    You can do this, don't over complicate it, have lots and lots of patience.
  • SSL310
    SSL310 Posts: 2 Member
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    Just as an aside--I successfully quit a "pack-a-day" smoking habit and have not smoked a cigarette in almost 8 years. I know I have it in me!
  • marypduguid
    marypduguid Posts: 1 Member
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    To GiveMeCoffee:

    Your analogy is terrific - right on target and very visual. I'm going to use it every time I run into trouble. Thanks!


  • SpockAdventures
    SpockAdventures Posts: 103 Member
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    You'll get lots of opinions about why or how to "fix" this.

    What I've found - is that I had to finally decide that I was going to change. I let go of all the excuses, and embraced the challenge instead of giving up because it finally was more important to me to figure this out, then to start again. I still have a loooong way to go, but I'll get there - this time I know it. You'll get there, too if and when you decide you want to do it worse then you want to have to start again. :)

    Good luck! I know you have it in you -

    This! You have to just decide one day that you aren't going to let your excuses get in the way. Also....if you have impulse problems, like I know I do, it might help to get on a very static diet so you don't have to make food decisions. Determine how many calories per day you want to eat and then in accordance plan a breakfast to have every day, same lunch and same dinner every single day. (Dinner can vary - for me I do lean cuisines, as long as they are under 400 calories, it doesn't really matter, for me.) I get overwhelmed by food choices, so instead of setting myself up for failure, I just have eliminated option from my diet. Of course there is food around the house I could cheat on - my husband is actually trying to GAIN weight, but I know that those foods are not part of my diet, they aren't built into my caloric total so I can't have them, and....and this is key....if I do cheat, I don't get my 1 cheat day a week when I aim for 2000 to 2500 calories, and I indulge a bit in the foods I have been craving over the week. One week it was pizza and a burger, one week it was pancakes and ice cream, and last week I finally seemed to have kicked the junk food craving and I CHOSE to have my cheat day food be italian bread, pub cheese, a mango, kiwi, watermelon, pear and a Dannon Creamery Strawberry Cheesecake Dessert. I used to have a MASSIVE sweet tooth and eliminating the choice to indulge on that stuff has helped me break that sugar addiction, as well.

    Hope this is helpful!

  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    It sounds like you're restricting yourself too much if after a few weeks, eating chocolate is causing you to give up on your goals.

    Work the foods you like into your daily intake. You don't have to give up chocolate or anything else you enjoy eating. You do want to limit those things so that you can fill up your calorie goal with mostly healthy foods - which keep you feeling full longer - but there's no reason to cut anything out completely.

    Also, realize that going over your calorie goal is honestly not a big deal. If you do it every day, yeah that's going to hurt your progress. But if you go over once in a while, don't use that as a reason to quit. Your'e currently eating at a calorie deficit - that means that even if you go over your calorie goal, all you're doing is reducing that deficit. You're probably still in the weight loss range unless you go thousands over your goal. And even if you do, so you don't lose weight that particular week - so what? You have the next week to do better. And the next week. And the next.

    TL;DR: Don't make this harder than it has to be. don't restrict yourself too much, and don't quit just because you slip up once. No one is perfect!
  • kristimason3
    kristimason3 Posts: 131 Member
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    I still eat chocolate in bed sometimes, sometimes cookies and I have still managed to consistently lose weight. You just have to either fit it into your calorie allotment and or exercise more to burn it off. Its not about deprivation, if you do it that way it won't last. You can do it!
  • DebraYvonne
    DebraYvonne Posts: 632 Member
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    in the same boat, not chocolate but some variance of that.
  • drummygurl
    drummygurl Posts: 19 Member
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    I think that you shouldn't give up after having a binge moment with chocolate. I have moments of weakness and give into temptation. What you need to realize is you are human and a mom, and there's a lot of stresses that come with every day life. After you have your moment, start fresh on your diet the next meal time or next day. Don't let it be an excuse to eat everything you may want in the heat of the moment. You are strong and CAN do this.

    Just my $.02 (going at this 11 months to the day of yesterday, lost 47lbs, had lots of moments where I needed the comfort of something sweet).
  • lisaabenjamin
    lisaabenjamin Posts: 665 Member
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    If you don't want to eat the sweets, don't eat the sweets.
    Don't buy the sweets in the first place.
    No-one forces you to pick up the sweet and put it in your mouth...or the one after that, or the one after that. You're an adult, it's your decision, your choice. Take some responsibility. I massively cringed when you said it's "mom medicine", like food is some kind of therapy for your bad day. It's not, it's food. It's calories, and if they don't fit into your overall goals then just. don't. eat them.
    If you have a bad day, go out and exercise instead. Go for a walk. Go for a run. Put a workout video on. Exercise releases endorphins, relieves stress and makes you feel better. Plus, after that, if you decide you still do want to eat the sweets, you might have earned enough calories to eat them (but be careful not to overcompensate).
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Remind yourself that you are not helpless in the face of this.

    But set up your habits and routines to prevent this.

    @SpockAdventures has some excellent advice, by the way.





  • SpockAdventures
    SpockAdventures Posts: 103 Member
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    Remind yourself that you are not helpless in the face of this.

    But set up your habits and routines to prevent this.

    @SpockAdventures has some excellent advice, by the way.





    Aw, shucks, thanks! :smiley:
  • Mister_Al
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    If you go three weeks and have one off night don't hate yourself, jump back in the next day and you'll do fine!

  • KeysGirl23
    KeysGirl23 Posts: 117 Member
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    I do this as well with one exception. As I am choosing to pick up whatever and put it in my mouth, I would be thinking of what needed to be done immediately after I enjoyed it. Yep, immediately no matter the time of day or night. I would put on those tennis shoes and go for a 2-3 mile power walk (nothing leisurely). In the end, this thought process helps me not eat as much or put it down or burn the calories after I just ingested it. For me the walk helps, but maybe you could choose a 45min workout video, treadmill, or whatever gets your heart pumping.
  • jennileeb1680
    jennileeb1680 Posts: 73 Member
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    SSL310 wrote: »
    Just as an aside--I successfully quit a "pack-a-day" smoking habit and have not smoked a cigarette in almost 8 years. I know I have it in me!

    See! harness that!! I also struggle with sticking to it - trying to not give up this time
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
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    your "WHY" isn't Big Enough! When you want it bad enough, you will. A bad meal, or a bad day is just that. It doesn't mean the end!

    IF you're going on vacation and you hit a detour on the drive do you give up? Do you say "Oh Man, this took us 2 hours, I didn't plan on that, I'm done!" NO! you keep on going!

    Our health is the same way! Keep going!