Sex?
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Sad to say my drive has reduced. It could be a whole lot of factors like pre-menopause, stress, etc but I also believe that the drive has been infringed upon by the drive I put out at the gym and then causes me extreme soreness and fatigue. I also believe that excess skin from the weight loss gets in the way mentally and physically (TMI I know!!). I hate it, I had a better drive when I was fatter but at least I'm healthier and well my physical capabilities are better along with my drive time so when it does happen, he's quite happy! For every con there is a pro right??!!0
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I am 34 years old and have been fat my whole life. I have been 400+ lbs (452 lbs being the highest) for quite a while now. So, I have never been able to be successful with getting a girlfriend or having a sex life. My body is ruined because my flaw in my life has been overeating. Even if I lose the weight, I will be a mess of skin and not what girls want, so I doubt losing weight will improve, or I should say create, a sex life for me. Since it is something I want very badly, I may have to live with this unfulfilled desire, pay for it (which wouldn't be what I want and I would still be unfulfilled), or distract myself constantly with work or hobbies or whatever. I don't think distraction would work though since sex is everywhere and you cannot escape it. It is a constant reminder of my desire and what I cannot experience. So I think I may have to just cope with the lack of it or eventually just not exist anymore so it isn't an issue.
Relax BV1980, there is someone for everyone. Good thing is that women aren't as shallow as us guys and a good personality goes a long way. Until you lose the weight, work on your sense of humor, confidence and big billfold doesn't hurt either.
Really?
Don't sell yourself short BV1980. You'll find someone.
It really is the person on the inside that matters, and can even change the physical perception of a person. I've met people that were very handsome/beautiful, but had ugly behavior, and they start looking less handsome/beautiful. I've met people that are overweight or had "ugly" features, and viewed them as physically beautiful because I admired so much about them.
I fell in love with a guy who was very overweight. It didn't seem to matter how much I told him I was attracted to him, he didn't believe me. It was very sad... we ended up breaking up for a different reason but since then he's lost weight, became a manager at a fitness center and is much more confident in himself and happy.
We all see flaws in ourselves that we think others are going to care about but 9/10 times they don't. It's just us being paranoid. Don't let these perceived flaws with yourself get in the way of going after what you want, please.
Really, statistics support my previous statements. Generally, women tend to go for guys that they feel will support their needs (emotional gratification and financial support), guys tend to go for women that support their needs (emotional verification and physical stimulation), notice I said generally. There are some distinct variations on this theme and age plays a significant role but I stand by it. I'm talking about new fresh relationships, not ongoing ones. Men are attracted initially to the visual for a future partner (not hookup) more than women.0 -
ofc better , more energy , comfortable in many ways for sex after the lbs have been sheded on my behalf and drive is still the same as when i was heavy*0
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CluelessI am 34 years old and have been fat my whole life. I have been 400+ lbs (452 lbs being the highest) for quite a while now. So, I have never been able to be successful with getting a girlfriend or having a sex life. My body is ruined because my flaw in my life has been overeating. Even if I lose the weight, I will be a mess of skin and not what girls want, so I doubt losing weight will improve, or I should say create, a sex life for me. Since it is something I want very badly, I may have to live with this unfulfilled desire, pay for it (which wouldn't be what I want and I would still be unfulfilled), or distract myself constantly with work or hobbies or whatever. I don't think distraction would work though since sex is everywhere and you cannot escape it. It is a constant reminder of my desire and what I cannot experience. So I think I may have to just cope with the lack of it or eventually just not exist anymore so it isn't an issue.
Relax BV1980, there is someone for everyone. Good thing is that women aren't as shallow as us guys and a good personality goes a long way. Until you lose the weight, work on your sense of humor, confidence and big billfold doesn't hurt either.
I didn't say every women. This is a general statement about females as a whole, supported by scientific data, not about your preferences.0 -
Definitely increased drive and enjoyment, but I think 90% of that is feeling that my own body is sexier and something other people could be attracted to.0
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Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.0 -
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Better.
Often.
Longer.
Creative.0 -
Yeahhhh ok. Go survey college age girls. Do they want a guy with a 6 pack, or at least a flat stomach, or a guy that weighs 300lbs. Ladies? Want to chime in on this one?
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.
I'll bite. I've never been with anyone that was 300 lbs, but I've been with rail thin guys, guys with six packs (my husband was in this category when I met him), and guys that had a gut. For me, it's about the personality. I met my husband online and didn't know what his body looked like until a couple of days before we met. We texted for 2 weeks before we met in person. I fell for HIM and not his body. I actually thought that he was too good looking for me when I got that pic from him. For me, it really IS about the personality.
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drive is the same, don't get as sore and it gets a little more crazier since I have more energy. Also since I lost weight I feel sexier which I think helps.0
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CluelessI am 34 years old and have been fat my whole life. I have been 400+ lbs (452 lbs being the highest) for quite a while now. So, I have never been able to be successful with getting a girlfriend or having a sex life. My body is ruined because my flaw in my life has been overeating. Even if I lose the weight, I will be a mess of skin and not what girls want, so I doubt losing weight will improve, or I should say create, a sex life for me. Since it is something I want very badly, I may have to live with this unfulfilled desire, pay for it (which wouldn't be what I want and I would still be unfulfilled), or distract myself constantly with work or hobbies or whatever. I don't think distraction would work though since sex is everywhere and you cannot escape it. It is a constant reminder of my desire and what I cannot experience. So I think I may have to just cope with the lack of it or eventually just not exist anymore so it isn't an issue.
Relax BV1980, there is someone for everyone. Good thing is that women aren't as shallow as us guys and a good personality goes a long way. Until you lose the weight, work on your sense of humor, confidence and big billfold doesn't hurt either.
I didn't say every women. This is a general statement about females as a whole, supported by scientific data, not about your preferences.
Based on what research?0 -
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.
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Yeahhhh ok. Go survey college age girls. Do they want a guy with a 6 pack, or at least a flat stomach, or a guy that weighs 300lbs. Ladies? Want to chime in on this one?
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.
I don't need a 6 pack. Flat stomach is nice. But, there are some big men who just KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. Like....confident, forward, sexy. I've been with a larger man who I was turned off by, but I didn't like him. It had nothing to do with his body...bad kisser and annoying person.0 -
serious, dudes throw the d at anyone with a pair of legs, and a considerable percentage of the ones without legs, or with only one leg.Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.
In fact, I worked with a guy once that had a "thing for peggers", because everyone who is missing a leg uses a peg.
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Got divorced, re-comped my body, got a new beau;
now it's often, exciting, long lasting and inventive.
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Pretty much the same as far as I can tell, but then the issues that get in the way (kids basically) are still a factor. But then once or twice a week when you're married with young kids and in your thirties is probably pretty normal.0
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At 94kg my sex drive was not particularly high, as I lost weight it did recover. I haven't had sex at goal weight since 2001 and I do wonder about whether they're going to be any issues there, I guess I'll find out in April when I reach goal weight.0
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Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.
I haven't heard many guys get called a "whale" and "put some clothes on you revolt me" (swimwear one piece 75kg) as they walk around. For me, my last man was big and the women chase after him, they adore him as he has a great smile, fab eyes, dresses well and exudes charisma. He knows how to make a woman feel great. I adored him from the first time I heard him speak and when we met the weight didn't phase me one bit.
We're still close and the amount of women (20's and up) that want him is amazing.0 -
Really? An overweight girl can still go out? Can still get laid? Whatever! Where the hell are these guys who think big is beautiful? Because I sure haven't met them. I've heard all that stuff, but never seen it in action. The guys want the thin pretty girls. Especially when you're young.The only curves they seem to want are the ones that come with big breasts.
No, sorry. An overweight female has it just as hard as an overweight male… if not worse. It's more socially acceptable for men to be overweight than it is for a woman.
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
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up the walls, on the floor, in the car, on the desk...everywhere..0
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I can't say much has changed except my partner. I'm honestly more self conscious now than before because I just felt rounder then and now (after two babies and losing 115lbs in total), I just feel a little gross with the skin on my belly and whatever breastfeeding did to my boobs.0
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this is the second go around with weight loss ( i had a baby recently and gained a lot back ) for me because i felt more confidant, and could wear the little sexy outfits i would say it got much better. now that I've gained back some its not terrible, but not the same either. even though my husband still tells me he finds me attractive my self-confidence poses a mental block.0
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My hubby and I have always had a wonderful sex life, and losing weight hasn't changed it, really. (Except for squats...there's a muscle on the back of each of my thighs that wasn't used much before and now it's always uber sensitive...that's really awesome.
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I don't get the "exs"....they must be Shallow Hals. You don't ever want to be in a relationship with people who don't support your progress and don't cheer you on.0
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ValerieMartini2Olives wrote: »And squats... makes it so tight down there.
^^^^^ This is the most inspiring post I've seen all day.0 -
arditarose wrote: »
^^^ This. I still have a massive crush on a guy whose nickname is, fittingly, Big Tony. It's all about his swagger. Confidence, humor, he teases and plays. His size doesn't detract from his attractiveness at all. And he is a REALLY big guy.0 -
PurrlyGirl wrote: »I've still got a lot to lose, but I've noticed that my drive steadily climbing. I used to really love gettin' frisky, then I gained a buuuuunch of weight, and then I just didn't feel hot anymore. I stopped wanting it, I mean my drive just totally tanked.
Ever since I started losing, it's been coming back. I feel hot, so I flirt more with my husband and instigate intimacy, and I've been way more relaxed and open to some more...adventurous activities there. If it's this good now, I'm looking forward to when I hit goal weight and hot costumes and lingerie are easy to come by.
This sounds perfect!
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