Downward spiral

oh yesss, the self-loathing monster rearing its ugly head... hey, the mere fact that you are here menas you are waay ahead of most people, who couldn't give a flip. We all go through this. I lost >60 pounds a few years back and gained it all back and then some... do I hate myself for being so stupid? yes! Hang in there!!!

xrachypx wrote: »

I don't know what to do anymore as I keep trying and failing

Then stop trying and just do it. Make yourself your priority. Make your life a habit and you won't ever have to "Try" again.

You can't change what you did 5 months/days/minutes ago, but you can change what you do for the rest of the day, so make the rest of the day a success, then do it again tomorrow.

I can relate on the losing and gaining the same few pounds. I feel the same way you do. A couple years ago, I had lost almost 60 pounds and now 3 years later, I've gained half of it back. Sometimes it's hard for me to exercise cause I have two bad lungs but I'm trying to get back into it. Don't lose hope. If you need some friends, you can always add me cause I really don't have any friends on here yet. I reopened MFP under a new ID.

Why are you overeating ? It may be nutritional needs your not getting from a diet that is full of processed food loaded with suger. More often times we eat to NUMB our emotions. Dealing with depression, stress or boredom with food never works. It's ok once in a while but it adds up quickly.

I feel your pain. I had a bad length of depression for about 6 months due to the supplemental hormones I am on. I stopped doing anything. I gained back 20 of the 42 pounds I had lost and I became very very weak. I am sickly this week but I have recommitted myself to doing the right thing again a few days ago. I splurged and went over calories by 200 yesterday but I am doing good for being sick and still dieting. One of the big things I have to do is fill up on healthy stuff and then I allow myself a little of the indulgent stuff. It helps to keep me from overeating crap like I have been. Who cares if I get ridiculously stuffed eating broccoli?! That's like 90 calories for three cups lol. So I will eat a massive portion of veggies or a salad and then have a tiny bit of whatever is the least healthy thing in my meal. Last night we had steamed broccoli, corn, rice and some polish sausage so since my protein was good for the day I only ate a little of the sausage at the end of my meal after I had eaten my fill of the veggies. Another thing that helps me get my butt back into gear is the idea that every day I put it off is another day of being miserable and weak and sick and depressed and obese. Every day I put it off is another day I can never get back, another day I can never redeem, another day I cannot easily play with my children because I am too fat and weak, another day closer I am to giving myself diabetes or another disease. I cannot allow myself to do that with my two beautiful children depending on me.

All that being said, if you feel like there is a reason you need to see your doctor, don't worry about it being a waste of their time. You are paying them. Who knows. I had a friend who found out she had thyroid cancer after she brought to attention her fatigue and other symptoms. Hoping you don't have any problems like that but better safe than sorry. And in the mean time, feel free to add me. I need to surround myself with people who are struggling because it motivates me to motivate others... weird I know but it works when I am cheering someone else on, I feel like I can do more myself.