Is it safe to practically starve myself if that's my only option?
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You aren't going to feel "content" with any change in habit at first. Practice some discipline. Every time you make a positive change, you will feel better and better about yourself. Try to get out of your house, develop some interests outside of the house and eating. Eat at a reasonable deficit and move more. You will never have a healthy body unless you learn to say no to yourself and do what you know is in your best interest long term. You don't have to eat the bag of grapes - you chose to. Make better choices. It isn't easy and you won't always be content, but you will be proud of your accomplishments. Ive been doing this for a year and still slip into bad habits. But I'm better than I was. I just keep trying.0
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1961dublin wrote: »Cookieman, I think you should read some books on Intermittent Fasting. Fasting is not dangerous if its done correctly and safely. Read what Dr Michael Mosley has to say about the 5;2 diet where you fast for 5 days and eat for 2. This leads to very effective weight loss. Or you could try alternate days fasting ie every second day. BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL and dont damage your health, its not necessary. Just educate yourself and you will win!!!!!
Erm.. You fast for 2 days and eat normally for 5 - Not the other way around.
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Cookieman123 wrote: »JenniDaisy wrote: »I didn't mean go see a doctor for your weight, I meant go see someone who is qualified to help you with your horrible relationship with food and your body. Not being able to lose weight sound like the least of your issues.
I would rather starve myself than go talk to a health therapist about problems that I don't have. I know what my issues are. I'm very lazy so when I'm not walking I sit on my *kitten* all day, get bored, and I eat. I lose track of what I eat. It's a bad habit I've had since I was a kid since I was very sheltered and never enrolled in sports and what not.
My issues aren't mental. I recognize my problems mentally. I also know what I am and not capable of. The mental side effects of starving myself isn't what I'm worried about because well, I've done it. It's the physical side effects, the losing the hair, the failure of organs etc. It gives me alot of unnecessary stress. Stress I didn't have while I was starving myself and had no idea anything about it until I talked to one of my doctors.
Yes, your issues are mental. Denying that doesn't change things. If you want to maintain an unhealthy approach, that is your choice as someone who is an adult based on age. The mature approach would be to seek real help for the physical and mental issues you obviously face ... but that seems a bridge too far for you.0 -
I am a psychotherapist who does CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Insight isn't everything. In fact, most of us know when we're doing things or thinking things incorrectly - but it doesn't stop us from doing it. What YOU need therapy for is not for the insight (though I bet you would learn a lot more than you think about your thought processes) but to learn the right skills to combat the unhealthy thought and behavioural patterns that you have developed since you were young. If you refuse this help, there are resources for self-help that you can use, but it's honestly up to you to be honest in your using of them...and that's VERY tough for most people. Here's one resource that I pass on to clients to continue work post-therapy and to people on here:http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/0
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^Thank you for that link. I needed that this week. :-)0
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Please explain to me how eating only 500-1,000 calories a day is an easier option than 1,500-2,000 calories.
Maintaining your current activity level (walking 5 miles a day) and decreasing from 3k to 2k calories should be quite effective. Not to mention it would be easier and healthier than starving yourself.
I would give you a pep talk about getting the willpower to limit the excess snacking, etc. but if you're confident you can eat as little as 500 calories a day I would imagine 2,000 shouldn't be a problem either.0 -
What you were doing before doesn't seem to be the problem. This is
"My weight loss was going great until the realization came to my head that not only am I weak mentally but I was also going to be an ugly blob of loose skin at the end of the day so I lost the motivation to keep going on with it"
I exercise a lot, but walking 5 miles a day is a good set of exercise. Don't see how you would be an ugly blob of loose skin0 -
Why starve yourself? Because it's not all coming off at once? Did you put all the weight on at once?
I agree with everyone who said you need to speak with a professional.0 -
Here I'll make it simple...
1. No. Starving yourself is not safe.
2. Starving is not your only option. Many other options have been listed above.0 -
OP, I think the issue here is that you keep insisting starving is your only option, but haven't provided substantiated, well-thought out arguments for it. Do consider some of the suggestions put forth by those who have tried to help, like seeking help from professionals. Starving is not a sustainable plan/lifestyle choice in losing/keeping weight off for good. I do hope your relationship with food changes for the better, because it sounds unhealthy to me. Good luck!0
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I wouldn't recommend it for anyone unless she's very short (under 5' tall) &/or under a doctor's care.Cookieman123 wrote:My weight loss was going great until the realization came to my head that not only am I weak mentally but I was also going to be an ugly blob of loose skin
... I still walk about 5 miles a day but I'm eating more than 3 thousand plus calories a day.
... I feel like my only option is to eat 500-1000 calories a day, and cut my walk to about a mile a day and have one binge day once a week.
... Would you recommend it for a nearly 400 pound guy?
And the fasting? Don't. You'll be even more miserable.
And the binge? Don't. Not healthy behaviour, and it can undo all the hard work you've done cutting calories all week. If you want something in particular to eat, eat it, just in a reasonable amount.
And if you lose weight gradually, your skin won't be bad. I've lost 60 lb (about 23% of my starting weight, and I want to lose 40%) & don't have loose skin. Granted, you'll have more of a chance of it, since you'll probably lose at least half your current weight, but doing it gradually allows the body to adjust.
Also, losing weight gradually means a better chance of losing it for good, because you're making permanent lifestyle changes.
"evidence shows that people who lose weight gradually and steadily (about 1-2 pounds per week) are more successful at keeping weight off ...
To lose weight, you must use up more calories than you take in. Since one pound equals 3,500 calories, you need to reduce your caloric intake by 500-1000 calories per day to lose about 1-2 pounds per week."
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/losing_weight/index.html
Walking is good, keep it up.
At your current weight, 3000 calories/day should let you lose 2 lb per week. (Current maintenance would be about 4000.) If you're not losing, then you're eating more than you think.
Read these:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10012907/logging-accuracy-consistency-and-youre-probably-eating-more-than-you-think
And quit being a dramatic, attention-seeking
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Cookieman123 wrote: »JenniDaisy wrote: »I didn't mean go see a doctor for your weight, I meant go see someone who is qualified to help you with your horrible relationship with food and your body. Not being able to lose weight sound like the least of your issues.
I would rather starve myself than go talk to a health therapist about problems that I don't have. I know what my issues are. I'm very lazy so when I'm not walking I sit on my *kitten* all day, get bored, and I eat. I lose track of what I eat. It's a bad habit I've had since I was a kid since I was very sheltered and never enrolled in sports and what not.
My issues aren't mental. I recognize my problems mentally. I also know what I am and not capable of. The mental side effects of starving myself isn't what I'm worried about because well, I've done it. It's the physical side effects, the losing the hair, the failure of organs etc. It gives me alot of unnecessary stress. Stress I didn't have while I was starving myself and had no idea anything about it until I talked to one of my doctors.
I know it's a lot to say from having read a few posts on the internet, but you, sir, are wrong. You have mental issues that you are not aware of and that you do not have healthy strategies for dealing with. Hie thee to a GP and get a referral to a therapist.
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Being lazy is a choice.
Overeating/binge eating is a choice.
Attention seeking behavior is a choice.
Starving yourself is a choice.
Not taking responsibility for your actions and behavior is a choice.
Whining about circumstances your own choices made is a choice.
You say your issues are not mental - if that is true, then start making better choices. If you do have issues with mentally making better choices (sticking to choices is hard for everyone, you are not special in that regard - suck it up) then see a professional about your inability to make appropriate choices.
Once you decide that your current choices are not getting you what you really want, and once you are mentally able to make better choices, then just do it. Come back here and read all the forums for support and motivation, like the rest of us have to do. Doesnt matter if you have 5 pounds to lose or 500 - it starts and ends with you. People here are nice and try to help, but clearly no one is can do it for you, and no one here cares more about you than you should care about yourself.0 -
Cookieman123 wrote: »hortensehildegarde wrote: »how many more than 3k exactly? you should still be losing even at 3k/day walking 5 miles each day.
It varies. So far the average day seems like it's around 3.3-3.8. With a few 4k+ days aswell if I feel like having a few beverages besides water and diet soda.
I was trying to guess at your BMR (amount of calories you burn bedridden), but without your height, that was impossible. I did put in 5'5'' and 6'5''. It looks like 3250 is about right. So you should eat at least 3,000 calories every day until you lose weight. You said you occasionally go over. If you stay at 3,500 calories every single day and walk some (5 miles, 3 miles, 1 mile, whatever), you should lose weight. After you have lost some weight (I wait a month), go into the "Goals" section and leave everything as it is and hit change goals. It will lower your calorie allowance. I just lost 50 calories a day (350/week) by doing that, but it also explains why I'm not losing this week.0 -
1- Second the idea of checking out intermittent fasting. But read one of the books on it, don't just make up your own plan.
2- The 'blob of loose skin' thing sounds like you get a lot of your info from MFP forums. Ignore what they say about 'right ways' to lose weight. For anyone obese, the only 'wrong way' is doing nothing. You need the weight off. You don't need lectured on LBM and resistance training and exercise levels. No one is that blob MFP is constantly warning us we all are in danger of becoming.0 -
Starving yourself is not the option, holding yourself accountable for what you put into your mouth is. The idea of a man close to 400lbs in weight only eating 500 to 1,000 calories a day is ridiculous.
1. Focus on weighing and measuring your food. If you're not weighing and measuring everything properly (solids on a food scale and liquids in measuring cups) you are effectively guessing.
2. Hit the gym to retain muscle mass. You can't out exercise a bad diet, but through a good starting heavy lifting program you can hang on to some of that muscle you currently have. You might not think you have it, but if you're a 400lb man you have tons of muscle.
3. Record everything, everything. You can have a bad day once in a while, it took 365 bad days to get you to this point. Enjoy a "bad" day once in a while, dust yourself off and get back on the trolly.
You can do it and without starving yourself.0 -
How about meal planning? Setting up a way of distributing your calories and macros throughout a day to control hunger, so that you don't overeat, but have a plan when you can eat more, so that you aren't binging? For example if you want to eat a maximum of 3000 calories per day, your meals and snacks could look something like this:
Breakfast - 700 calories
Morning snack - 260 calories
lunch - 700 calories
afternoon snack - 260 calories
dinner - 800 calories
evening snack - 260 calories
Have about 40-55 grams of protein with each meal, and fill the rest of the meal with whatever else you want within your calorie limit.
For each snack try to get in about 10-15 grams of protein and pair with whatever other foods will fit into the calorie allowance. You would definitely lose some weight with this approach and you definitely wouldn't starve.
Eat this way until you stop losing weight, and then lower the amount of calories for each meal/snack - get about 20-30% of your calories from protein sources.
You might be surprised at how easy this can be when you change your mind set from (doomed to be fat forever or starve).0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: ».
2- The 'blob of loose skin' thing sounds like you get a lot of your info from MFP forums. Ignore what they say about 'right ways' to lose weight. For anyone obese, the only 'wrong way' is doing nothing. You need the weight off. You don't need lectured on LBM and resistance training and exercise levels. No one is that blob MFP is constantly warning us we all are in danger of becoming.
I agree with this. One step at a time. Right now just get the eating thing down.
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I am on a very low calorie diet and have been for quite some time. It has many advantages. I don't have to think about what I eat because everything is in a little package. I lost weight very very fast at first and even now the weight is coming off constistently. I feel good about myself and am learning how to have self control. Early successes keep me motivated even when things get slow. There are soooo many down sides though. I don't get to eat out. I don't get to eat what my family has. I often feel isolated and alone. every time I drink a shake I am reminded that I let myself get to 350 pounds or I wouldn't be in this mess. I see a counselor every week or I am pretty sure I would continue in a shame spiral and never find my way to health through loving myself enough to care what I feed my body. In addition, there are all kinds of side effects with VLCD that require doctor supervision. I have my urine and blood pressure checked weekly and get a full exam once a month. On a vlcd your body is just focusing on the essentials. Your hair, skin and nails look like crap. If I miss a shake by even 20 minutes I pass out. I can't actually tolerate normal food and will have to gradually add it to back when I have reached a healthy weight. I had diabetes, high cholesterol and angina at age 39. This really was my last hope. If you can live until next friday without losing the weight, this is not the only way. I don't regret this path. I am happy to be alive. I wouldn't recommend it.0
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And quit being a dramatic, attention-seeking
Nothing more had to be said. Period. This is it. I'm normally NOT one to say this, either, but I had written up a truly thoughtful post, coming from a good place for the OP, offering genuine help (or resources, as I'm not a doctor or nutritionist). Anyway, erased it after he admitted he was looking for attention "It is. I like to overreact to add a bit of shock factor because I know it'll get more responses." I was done. That was it for me. He lost all credibility of being someone who was genuinely seeking help, and became, well, we all know.0 -
Personally i would focus 100% on your WOE so you get your menu intake in track and as you go down you will start to move more and more. Then you maybe start implementing some type of exercise regimen.
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And quit being a dramatic, attention-seeking
Nothing more had to be said. Period. This is it. I'm normally NOT one to say this, either, but I had written up a truly thoughtful post, coming from a good place for the OP, offering genuine help (or resources, as I'm not a doctor or nutritionist). Anyway, erased it after he admitted he was looking for attention "It is. I like to overreact to add a bit of shock factor because I know it'll get more responses." I was done. That was it for me. He lost all credibility of being someone who was genuinely seeking help, and became, well, we all know.
Yeah I'm sorry I (and others) wasted our time giving a crap....if I would have seen this garbage I wouldn't have wasted my time.
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