feeling isolated

Juju1970
Juju1970 Posts: 25 Member
edited November 8 in Introduce Yourself
I started losing weight the day I was released from the hospital with a shunt after being admitted for angina. I was almost 39. I weighed over 350 pounds and couldn't walk up even one flight of stairs. The doctor put my on a very controlled VLCD. I started losing weight right away. My diabetes is under control. My heart is healthy. I run 5k 5 times a week and for my 40th birthday I walked a half marathon. I am down to my last 50 pounds and I came here for support as I transition from the VLCD to regular eating. My amazing doctor recommended it and said having on line support would be helpful. I have cried more in the few days that I have been on this forum than I have in years. VCFL literally saved my life. I am 5'4" and weighed 350 pounds. My body wasn't going to keep working if I didn't change. Because of vlcd I got to see my son graduate college, I got to fly on an airplane, I got to fall in love. If the choice is eat 800 calories or die I will chose life every time. I have been here 3 days and every one of my posts was flagged and deleted. I assume this will be too. I am just hoping before you flag with wild abandon that you will reconsider your aptitude for compassion and rethink judging other people so harshly. You don't know me. You don't know what is best for my body. You don't know how closely I have worked with my physician, how much he cares about me, how much values my health. You don't have any idea how kind I am, how much I have to offer, or how lonely it is reading posts about what you're having for thanksgiving when once again I will be drinking soup.
My beautiful son is a parkour instructor. He couldn't understand why I couldn't just diet and exercise. When I took my first walk around the block he was there cheering me on. When I felt discouraged he bought me a soup mug that said "best grandma ever" even though he isn't even married yet, so I could remember what I was fighting for. He taught me He taught me to never give up.
So, I am going to keep posting. You can keep flagging. But I am going to keep plugging away. We all deserve to be healthy and well. I will support you in being your very best self. I hope you will do the same for me.
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Replies

  • 0067808
    0067808 Posts: 119 Member
    i'm really sorry you've not had the support you needed from this site - sometimes people can be quite cruel without even realising - other times they know exactly what they're doing. I don't know why you've been flagged - perhaps they had good reason. But I know that everyone deserves to be supported in their journey to good health. I think your son's idea of the 'best grandma ever' mug was fabulous.....you must be so proud of him. Keep fighting through, buy yourself a copy of Taylor Swift's 'Shake it Off', and ignore the haters. As long as you love yourself that's what matters.
  • LeonCX
    LeonCX Posts: 862 Member
    edited November 2014
    I think a medically supervised VLCD is better than the do it yourself versions. Those are the ones that get the flak around here. Congratulations on your success. Some things are better left not talked about around here. Best to just discuss the weather, or share recipes.
  • baroquepop
    baroquepop Posts: 34 Member
    Hi Juju,

    I'm new here and have no idea why someone would flag and delete your post. We'll see if this reply is deleted too? Have no idea why, maybe it's a mistake. Anyway, congratulations on regaining your health!! What a tall hillside you had to climb! It's awesome you had a doctor that worked with you and you were able to work toward your health together. I lost over 100 pounds using a restricted diet and sometimes that's what works. It is better than being obese for you health. Such wonderful accomplishments and rewards you're living because of you. You must feel fantastic and be so proud. You deserve to be!! Congratulations getting this far in your journey! Hope you'll be around, take care!

    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I started losing weight the day I was released from the hospital with a shunt after being admitted for angina. I was almost 39. I weighed over 350 pounds and couldn't walk up even one flight of stairs. The doctor put my on a very controlled VLCD. I started losing weight right away. My diabetes is under control. My heart is healthy. I run 5k 5 times a week and for my 40th birthday I walked a half marathon. I am down to my last 50 pounds and I came here for support as I transition from the VLCD to regular eating. My amazing doctor recommended it and said having on line support would be helpful. I have cried more in the few days that I have been on this forum than I have in years. VCFL literally saved my life. I am 5'4" and weighed 350 pounds. My body wasn't going to keep working if I didn't change. Because of vlcd I got to see my son graduate college, I got to fly on an airplane, I got to fall in love. If the choice is eat 800 calories or die I will chose life every time. I have been here 3 days and every one of my posts was flagged and deleted. I assume this will be too. I am just hoping before you flag with wild abandon that you will reconsider your aptitude for compassion and rethink judging other people so harshly. You don't know me. You don't know what is best for my body. You don't know how closely I have worked with my physician, how much he cares about me, how much values my health. You don't have any idea how kind I am, how much I have to offer, or how lonely it is reading posts about what you're having for thanksgiving when once again I will be drinking soup.
    My beautiful son is a parkour instructor. He couldn't understand why I couldn't just diet and exercise. When I took my first walk around the block he was there cheering me on. When I felt discouraged he bought me a soup mug that said "best grandma ever" even though he isn't even married yet, so I could remember what I was fighting for. He taught me He taught me to never give up.
    So, I am going to keep posting. You can keep flagging. But I am going to keep plugging away. We all deserve to be healthy and well. I will support you in being your very best self. I hope you will do the same for me.

  • deninevi
    deninevi Posts: 934 Member
    Congrats on the awesome results! Love the mug idea!
  • jsr1555
    jsr1555 Posts: 3 Member
    You have gone through an incredible journey and the best is yet to come. Your blessed with family and professional care that has your best interest at heart. I fully support you and know that you will be successful and rewarded for your hard work and determination to live the life you imagine!
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 367 Member
    The grandma mug thing is pretty clever. Your kid is smart. I really don't understand the rest of the post, but good luck all the same.
  • kt_simms
    kt_simms Posts: 20 Member
    I don't know why your other posts were flagged and deleted, but wanted to say congratulations on your weight loss and your tenacity. There are always people who think they know butter, but you are the only expert on you!

    It's great that you have your son's support and I hope that you'll be able to find some friendship and encouragement on here too. I have never been a believer in the power of support. My mentality was that I made myself this way and only I can make it different. But it does help to have people in your corner to cheer you on and who relate to the various struggles. And, most importantly to me, who understand the significance of every single little NSV and milestone.

    All the best!
  • Juju1970
    Juju1970 Posts: 25 Member
    I am sorry I wasn't clear. I get flagged for being on a doctor supervised vlcd. it doesn't violate any rules. After review, it looks like my comments get put back up. Apparently, readers on MFP know how to save my life better than my cardiologist.
  • marlovs78
    marlovs78 Posts: 75 Member
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I am sorry I wasn't clear. I get flagged for being on a doctor supervised vlcd. it doesn't violate any rules. After review, it looks like my comments get put back up. Apparently, readers on MFP know how to save my life better than my cardiologist.
    Then if you're "feeling isolated", why talk about a controversial topic if you know it will get flagged or critiqued? Unless you enjoy the notoriety.

  • Juju1970
    Juju1970 Posts: 25 Member
    @marvlovs78 are you seriously saying that people violating the flagging rules to flag me are fine, but me sharing my experience or asking for help should just shut up? And also, if I am hurt by people breaking the rules and flagging me, I am in it for the noteriaty? I need support. I came here to find it.
  • castlefuzz
    castlefuzz Posts: 99 Member
    You can do it Juju1970. I have been struggling with my weight I hear there.Be here is the support and love from another member.Never let negative people bring you down.
  • ckp6112
    ckp6112 Posts: 2
    My friend did Medifast at 800 calories a day andlost 30 pounds
  • rererangi03
    rererangi03 Posts: 27 Member
    i tell ya what im going to try my damn hardest over the next year to loose weight - if it dont friggn happen ill be going on optifast vlcd - i think its going to happen tho cos im making it happen
    - optifast is my back up plan
  • jennilsf
    jennilsf Posts: 57 Member
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    @marvlovs78 are you seriously saying that people violating the flagging rules to flag me are fine, but me sharing my experience or asking for help should just shut up? And also, if I am hurt by people breaking the rules and flagging me, I am in it for the noteriaty? I need support. I came here to find it.

    I've been on MFP for a few years now, trying different lans and ratios of nutrients to lose the weight and, more importantly, maintain that loss. I married a chef, so it's extra hard now. After seeing the change a employee of his made, I decided to try what she did, and began Medifast this month. So far it's going great, and I'm still using MFP to track everything instead of their app.

    After searching boards for friends who are also on Medifast that would be willing to share diaries and offer suggestions and support, I've got to say, I'm utterly shocked at the lack of support, the judgemental responses, and the downright trolling behavior in this community, which until now has always been my rock and home base during all of my efforts to get healthy. I can't believe it. The flagging, the nasty comments, the assumption that everyone who dares to mention the "M" word is "working" and only trying to push it on others. I actually hadn't even heard of Medifast before our employee told me how she lost her weight, and am only looking for others who follow it and get ideas and information.

    But every thread I find is flagged to death and full of negativity from those who oppose Medifast. I have never judged ANYONE for the choices they make in their own personal weight loss efforts, and I'm so disappointed in the way this is handled here.

    I hope that others on Medi will friend me so we can share ideas, and I hope others drop the negativity. Even if we wouldn't personally choose some of the programs and methods used my others for ourselves, we need to offer support to everyone on this journey. I THOUGHT that's what MFP was all about...
  • 9chimera11
    9chimera11 Posts: 40 Member
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I started losing weight the day I was released from the hospital with a shunt after being admitted for angina. I was almost 39. I weighed over 350 pounds and couldn't walk up even one flight of stairs. The doctor put my on a very controlled VLCD. I started losing weight right away. My diabetes is under control. My heart is healthy. I run 5k 5 times a week and for my 40th birthday I walked a half marathon. I am down to my last 50 pounds and I came here for support as I transition from the VLCD to regular eating. My amazing doctor recommended it and said having on line support would be helpful. I have cried more in the few days that I have been on this forum than I have in years. VCFL literally saved my life. I am 5'4" and weighed 350 pounds. My body wasn't going to keep working if I didn't change. Because of vlcd I got to see my son graduate college, I got to fly on an airplane, I got to fall in love. If the choice is eat 800 calories or die I will chose life every time. I have been here 3 days and every one of my posts was flagged and deleted. I assume this will be too. I am just hoping before you flag with wild abandon that you will reconsider your aptitude for compassion and rethink judging other people so harshly. You don't know me. You don't know what is best for my body. You don't know how closely I have worked with my physician, how much he cares about me, how much values my health. You don't have any idea how kind I am, how much I have to offer, or how lonely it is reading posts about what you're having for thanksgiving when once again I will be drinking soup.
    My beautiful son is a parkour instructor. He couldn't understand why I couldn't just diet and exercise. When I took my first walk around the block he was there cheering me on. When I felt discouraged he bought me a soup mug that said "best grandma ever" even though he isn't even married yet, so I could remember what I was fighting for. He taught me He taught me to never give up.
    So, I am going to keep posting. You can keep flagging. But I am going to keep plugging away. We all deserve to be healthy and well. I will support you in being your very best self. I hope you will do the same for me.

    Hugs. You are amazing. Keep doing it.

    There are a lot of 'holier than thou' people here who forget everyone is fighting a battle. This is why I don't post much on the forums and just use the calorie tracking app.

    If you are getting too much negativity, you always have the option of just walking away from them. :smile: Life is easier when evil people are not in it.

    Good luck <3
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    edited November 2014
    You really shouldn't let the haters on here get you down since it sounds like you're doing great. It's just the internet and you don't know these people. Easier said than done, I suppose.
  • PBWaffleCakes
    PBWaffleCakes Posts: 900 Member
    Do not let people get to you! You have a doctor helping you. People take different routes to get to their goals. Sometimes people don't understand. I hope you find support and love here! Best of luck finishing your journey!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I'm glad your physician supervised low calorie diet worked for you. However, an obese person with medical issues is very different than the average person wanting to lose 20-50lbs. I have no idea what replies you made that got you flagged. I can say that if you are blinding suggesting people go on low calorie diets, then yes, this is wrong and your replies deserve flagging. If you are suggesting people talk to their physician about which dieting method is appropriate for them, then great.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I am sorry I wasn't clear. I get flagged for being on a doctor supervised vlcd. it doesn't violate any rules. After review, it looks like my comments get put back up. Apparently, readers on MFP know how to save my life better than my cardiologist.

    If a doctor prescribed you heroin (yes that is a prescription drug for certain medical conditions although its pharmaceutical name is different) does that mean it's okay to encourage people to take heroin without a doctor's prescription?

    There are some situations where VLCDs are medically justified, but for the general population they are not safe. And even when they are medically justified, they should be done under a doctor's supervision. A doctor's prescription is for one person only, and they're based on that person's unique medical history, and they're not safe for the general population to self-prescribe. Hence why it's against community guidelines for people to promote VLCDs, because they actually aren't safe for the general population.

    Also, if your posts have been deleted, then you must have broken community guidelines (i.e. promoting unsafe dieting techniques) - flags mean nothing, because moderators simply ignore flags that have been made for stupid reasons. However, if the mods have deleted your posts (no-one else can) then you must have broken community guidelines.
  • Juvenica
    Juvenica Posts: 460 Member
    well done on your achievements and congratulation. You are an inspiration and i don't understand why people would flag a comment like yours. I understand you had to work so hard to get to where you are, so a big Congrats to you is well deserved. you are doing great so trust and believe that great things are coming your way. Healthier , better looking and feeling better embrace the beautiful days to come!
    By the way, you must be very proud of your son, you raised a great man !
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    neandermagnon wrote: »
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I am sorry I wasn't clear. I get flagged for being on a doctor supervised vlcd. it doesn't violate any rules. After review, it looks like my comments get put back up. Apparently, readers on MFP know how to save my life better than my cardiologist.

    If a doctor prescribed you heroin (yes that is a prescription drug for certain medical conditions although its pharmaceutical name is different) does that mean it's okay to encourage people to take heroin without a doctor's prescription?

    There are some situations where VLCDs are medically justified, but for the general population they are not safe. And even when they are medically justified, they should be done under a doctor's supervision. A doctor's prescription is for one person only, and they're based on that person's unique medical history, and they're not safe for the general population to self-prescribe. Hence why it's against community guidelines for people to promote VLCDs, because they actually aren't safe for the general population.

    Also, if your posts have been deleted, then you must have broken community guidelines (i.e. promoting unsafe dieting techniques) - flags mean nothing, because moderators simply ignore flags that have been made for stupid reasons. However, if the mods have deleted your posts (no-one else can) then you must have broken community guidelines.

    I was under the impression that 5 flags result in posts being hidden for mod review. She said her posts were put back though, so it seems like they didn't violate the guidelines. People really are flag happy on here. It's ridiculous.
  • snowyogalove
    snowyogalove Posts: 1 Member
    edited November 2014
    Hello, I can't speak for others but I will speak for myself. To hear that someone is eating 800 calories and is successfully losing weight, is triggering. I struggle with binge eating and, in the past, have tried to over-restrict calories in an effort to lose weight. I'm in a much better place now and I know that I need a certain amount of calories. It is potential that people have flagged your post for similar reasons. However, we are all on different paths. I'm SUPER happy to hear that you are working with your physician to be healthy. Congratulations on your success! We are all on a difficult journey, each of us with different barriers, different paths, and different goals. Everyone just needs to remember that just because one path isn't for you, doesn't mean its not a good option for someone else.
  • coffeerose55
    coffeerose55 Posts: 33 Member
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I started losing weight the day I was released from the hospital with a shunt after being admitted for angina. I was almost 39. I weighed over 350 pounds and couldn't walk up even one flight of stairs. The doctor put my on a very controlled VLCD. I started losing weight right away. My diabetes is under control. My heart is healthy. I run 5k 5 times a week and for my 40th birthday I walked a half marathon. I am down to my last 50 pounds and I came here for support as I transition from the VLCD to regular eating. My amazing doctor recommended it and said having on line support would be helpful. I have cried more in the few days that I have been on this forum than I have in years. VCFL literally saved my life. I am 5'4" and weighed 350 pounds. My body wasn't going to keep working if I didn't change. Because of vlcd I got to see my son graduate college, I got to fly on an airplane, I got to fall in love. If the choice is eat 800 calories or die I will chose life every time. I have been here 3 days and every one of my posts was flagged and deleted. I assume this will be too. I am just hoping before you flag with wild abandon that you will reconsider your aptitude for compassion and rethink judging other people so harshly. You don't know me. You don't know what is best for my body. You don't know how closely I have worked with my physician, how much he cares about me, how much values my health. You don't have any idea how kind I am, how much I have to offer, or how lonely it is reading posts about what you're having for thanksgiving when once again I will be drinking soup.
    My beautiful son is a parkour instructor. He couldn't understand why I couldn't just diet and exercise. When I took my first walk around the block he was there cheering me on. When I felt discouraged he bought me a soup mug that said "best grandma ever" even though he isn't even married yet, so I could remember what I was fighting for. He taught me He taught me to never give up.
    So, I am going to keep posting. You can keep flagging. But I am going to keep plugging away. We all deserve to be healthy and well. I will support you in being your very best self. I hope you will do the same for me.

  • coffeerose55
    coffeerose55 Posts: 33 Member
    Ok Not sure why people flag you as Spam. You are not soliciting anything. What ever jump start you need to get healthy good. At least you did not resort to the bypass surgery That can be scarey especially if people do not change their life style Hang in there you are to be applauded .I am in a similiar situation about huffing and puffing. The handwriting is on the wall..
    Coffeerose
  • jennilsf
    jennilsf Posts: 57 Member
    edited November 2014
    I would think many plans MFP users post about in looking for support from others using that plan could be "triggering" for SOMEONE. Still doesn't give people the right go after someone's posts or question just because they don't "approve" or like the path that person has chosen. As for all the judging and meanness, unless the OP specifically asks for opinions about their plan, I don't see why some people comment so negatively. It's their bodies and their health, and we all pretty much agree that it's a very personal thing. I dunno, I just see people who obviously have a problem with certain diets posting on threads specifically concerning that very diet . So why are they there? Just to troll, it seems to me, but it's allowed and people who are simply looking for support just have to try and ignore it.
  • jennilsf
    jennilsf Posts: 57 Member
    I will say though, it's cracking me up how many posts are getting flagged on a thread about flagging. lol ;)
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    There are individuals here who are battling eating disorders and posts discussing VLCDs can be triggering and lead them to engage in unhealthy habits. Even if the person is eating a VLCD for medical purposes and is under the supervision of a doctor, it's simply against the rules of MFP.

    I (and others) am glad you found something that works for you but what works for you can be deadly for others. You need to be mindful of that. So if you do not want to be flagged, refrain from discussing VLCDs here.
  • makingmylifebetter
    makingmylifebetter Posts: 37 Member
    edited November 2014
    FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »
    There are individuals here who are battling eating disorders and posts discussing VLCDs can be triggering and lead them to engage in unhealthy habits. Even if the person is eating a VLCD for medical purposes and is under the supervision of a doctor, it's simply against the rules of MFP.

    I (and others) am glad you found something that works for you but what works for you can be deadly for others. You need to be mindful of that. So if you do not want to be flagged, refrain from discussing VLCDs here.

    This is ridiculous. There are also people discussing alcohol here, which could be dangerous for alcoholics. There are people discussing desserts, which could be deadly for me as a 300-pound dessert lover. There are people discussing depression, which could set someone off who is likewise depressed. There are people discussing gastric bypass, which some people do die from.

    Very low calorie diets, particularly medically supervised ones, are a legitimate form of weight loss, and as adults we should be allowed to discuss them. I have a particular interest, as my brother recently started a medically supervised Optifast diet, and I am considering the pros and cons of such a diet and whether I should consider it myself.

    Also, there seems to be no ban on discussing intermittent fasting. Could that not also "set off" someone with an eating disorder?

    Edited to add-- kudos to the original poster on your success in regaining health, and apologies for all those who seem unable to support you.
  • jennilsf
    jennilsf Posts: 57 Member
    makingmylifebetter wrote: »
    FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »
    There are individuals here who are battling eating disorders and posts discussing VLCDs can be triggering and lead them to engage in unhealthy habits. Even if the person is eating a VLCD for medical purposes and is under the supervision of a doctor, it's simply against the rules of MFP.

    I (and others) am glad you found something that works for you but what works for you can be deadly for others. You need to be mindful of that. So if you do not want to be flagged, refrain from discussing VLCDs here.

    This is ridiculous. There are also people discussing alcohol here, which could be dangerous for alcoholics. There are people discussing desserts, which could be deadly for me as a 300-pound dessert lover. There are people discussing depression, which could set someone off who is likewise depressed. There are people discussing gastric bypass, which some people do die from.

    Very low carb diets, particularly medically supervised ones, are a legitimate form of weight loss, and as adults we should be allowed to discuss them. I have a particular interest, as my brother recently started a medically supervised Optifast diet, and I am considering the pros and cons of such a diet and whether I should consider it myself.

    THIS.
  • Juju1970
    Juju1970 Posts: 25 Member
    I am so new to online forums I don't know how to get notifications when things I am following are updated. I had no idea there there were so many responses. To all the people who have sent me supportive emails and friends requests, Thank You! I really needed that.
    As a follow up, I think ALL the posts that were flagged for abuse and hidden have been restored. I wasn't violating any rules and I am glad that at least the people in charge noted that.
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