C 2 5K week 4 - The "Hill"

Oh sweet baby Jesus! Who is the sadistic, methane-breathing sicko who decided that just because one week I could run four 3-minute heats that somehow the next week I could run a six minute run? More importunately, why am I the idiot who listens to the ladyvoice on my smartphone app and blindly tries to do it?

Sigh. New week, new pain, new fear. Week four is only three heats: one 4-minute, one 6-minute and one 4-minute. I'm learning from the previous weeks that there has to be some kind of science to this as I am the fattest, the oldest, the most sickly, the poorest cardiovasculared and the least motivated person EVER to try C25K yet I am succeeding! Woot! Bring it on, ladyvoice.

But 6 minutes is scary. and I'm a wuss so I sweet-talked my girlfriend (Let's call her The Cheerful Cheerleader - aka "CC") to pace me on this run. I should mention at this point that CC is in great shape and is training for her first marathon in two months. She runs 10 miles "just for fun". I hate her - until I look at her new butt. (Oh yeah, "new" butt. Did I mention she's also a recently reformed fatty? Yeah, I really hate her - then I look at her butt again).

Off we go. Funny how the first four minute run isn't bugging me - not even really thinking about it. CC and I are even chatting as we run! Woulda thunk, eh? But by now I've learned a few things. First, I bought GOOD running shoes (two more payments and these suckers are MINE!) Second, I'm changing my footstrike (look it up) and moving towards a more midfoot strike and a much shorter stride. Somehow this makes me run faster. I have no idea why but it's working and my knees and calves hurt less. Third, I'm pacing myself. Actually keeping track of my pace and even doing split times as I plod around the Menil Collection in Houston. Exactly four minutes to run around the museum. It helps me.

OK, so the 6 minute run is coming up. CC has been a good helper but I'm feeling bad that I'm dragging her around so I say: "Look babe, I know you can lap me around the museum in six minutes. When the bell rings, take off and when you lap me I know it will be close to 6 minutes"

CC: "You sure? Im not sure this is a good idea."
Me: "Go woman! Get some good workout while I plod around!"

Ding! Run!

...and we're off. CC isn't fast but this is a sprint for her so she blows ahead of me at a sub 9-minute pace. I'm just doing my plop plop plop thang. Six minutes. I got this. It's a beautiful day in Houston - lots of people out enjoying the parks around the pretty museum. Lots of distractions. I reach for my phone...

Ruh Roh! Problem! I didn't bring my phone! We're using HER phone! I have no idea when 6 minutes is up. No worries, I know CC will catch up to me before 6 minutes.

One lap. Four minutes. Sucking air. CC nowhere insight.
1.5 laps. I'm definitely at VO2 max. Can't-hold-on-much-longer. CC is still AWOL.
1.75 laps. I'm dying. done. walking. my head is pounding. Gotta breathe. Look ahead - CC is running back to me.

CC: "babe, I couldn't catch up in time so I doubled back. I think you ran, (looks at watch)...about 7 1/2 minutes! Great Job!"

me: "GASP WHEEZE SUCK SWEAT SPIT"

Well, I made it. I climbed the hill. Even went a little past it. I had to recover longer than the ladyvoice wanted me to (love the pause feature) but I did the second four minute run. I even snuck in a short fourth heat.

The moral of this story? If you can connive a sucker into pacing you, USE THEM!