Feeling down
rkmerley
Posts: 16
I feel so upset. Yesterday, I was especially motivated on my newly diet that I had resisted any soft drinks or chips that I usually go for. However, when I got home, it was almost like I had completely forgotten about it. My sister went shopping(which is rarely ever done) and bought a bunch of junk food home, which, when offered, kindly accepted and gobbled down without a second thought. I went to sleep early and today I found a good Mcdonald's meal, and coke waiting for me... as you can tell, I gobbled that up too.
It's really hard to resist something that is given to you on a silver platter. It is especially hard when you have lived this way your entire life without a second thought. And when the people around you are much smaller which means they don't have to watch their weight as much as you, the 200 pound, 18 year old monster with no restraint.
... Sigh.
It's really hard to resist something that is given to you on a silver platter. It is especially hard when you have lived this way your entire life without a second thought. And when the people around you are much smaller which means they don't have to watch their weight as much as you, the 200 pound, 18 year old monster with no restraint.
... Sigh.
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Replies
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Every day is a new day, don't worry about it. Just keep your head up and start over today. I try to make sure that I drink plenty of water all day and have something to snack on at least every 3 hours. I've noticed if I DON'T do that then I'm an unstoppable force with the bottomless pit of a stomach, hahah. It's hard to say no, especially when people keep saying 'come on' and 'mmm, but this is so good.' Well, you just have to stick to your guns and say that you want to be healthier! I just ask them to leave me alone because it's already hard enough. Good luck!! Rome wasn't built in a day :-)0
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I wouldnt worry about it, its done now. Using words like monster to describe yourself is rather damaging to the one person you need to get assistance from i.e yourself. Being upset is pointless and a sign you are already putting too much pressure on yourself, which will make it harder and mean you are more likely to crash out. Be your own best friend and help yourself do better next time.
I know nothing about your plan but you need to prepare proerly and understand how dieting works. imo you should start by logging all your food aaccuraely including weighing because you need to know how much you are consuming.
A lot of the time you will have a choice to make to make a step towards target or take a step away. You need to take more steps towards rather than away from.
Try logging for a week and then try logging for a week on a reduced amount. Pre log your food and eat only that food, be it 3 meals a day plus a snack or 5 meals a day. Your focus should be on eating the food you have set aside as the right amount you need for that day.
Ask your family to stop buying/offering you fast food as you are on a diet and would appreciate their support. You could remove most of the other junk out of sight so its not in easy temptation range. You can eat some junk food if it falls within your calorie limit as part of earing in moderation (You cna still have high claorie foods if it fits within your carlories). It would be good if you could start to introducing exercise into your plan. Its a big task to lose weight and you have to make some sacrifics, but put efort in as well. Keep reminding yourself the benefits of being slimmer and let that motivate you the next time temptation comes your way. You either want it enough or you dont. Try to do better next time and good luck.
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I agree with tigger that you need to log everything you eat. Once you see what it contains it will help to motivate you to say "no" more often. You also need to be your best cheerleader and not your biggest naysayer. Your journey should be a positive experience otherwise it will be too easy to give up on. Check out http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/ to find out where to set your calories and macros (carbs, proteins & fats) and make sure what you eat AND drink fits into those macros daily. This means moderation - not elimination!! So if one day you want that McD's meal, enjoy it, but don't make it a daily habit! Some people work to hit their daily goals while others aim for the weekly, so if you go over one day make it up on the other six days!
You can do this!!0 -
sorry doll, you gotta just practice each time you have the opportunity to be strong, ok?0
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999tigger beat me to it, but PLEASE don't refer to yourself as a monster! That is self-defeating and you are far from a monster. Sounds like you were raised with poor eating habits. That part was not your fault. However, now you are 18 and are responsible for yourself and your own health. OWN it! Be proud that you now have this awesome privilege and make the best choice you can at any given time.
Being surrounded by family who don't understand what you're going through is incredibly difficult. But, many people have triumphed over that and so can you!0 -
Don't feel bad about yourself
You should let your friends and family know that you want to make healthier choices, however, so that they can get on board. It's a sweet thing to do to buy a meal for you - it's just as sweet to buy a meal that you feel good about eating. Just have a talk with the people around you! It may be embarrassing at first, but it's necessary.
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Nothing you can do about it now. Remember how you feel right now and use that the next time you are tempted. It's difficult but not impossible. You don't have to eat it because it was purchased or offered. You can put it in the fridge and they can eat it another time. I guarantee, if you do that, they will be less likely to buy you something without asking. Maybe they are not taking your "diet" seriously. When you decline the snacks and stick to your guns they will get it. In fact, they may also join in on the healthier lifestyle.
Losing fat, looking great and improving health feels great. Greater than any temporary joy from junk food.
Good luck and stop beating yourself up about it afterwards. That does no good and won't take the calories away. Just be strong, stick to your "diet" and you will have no regrets.0 -
For me personally, diets don't work. When I say I can't have something the minute an opportunity presents itself for me to have that something, I will give in and have it. So instead, I tell myself I can eat whatever I want. I can and I will.
I just make up for it. If I know that Bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit was 500 calories, I will exercise it off. Its a way of not feeling guilty and also as a sort of punishment for giving in. Which honestly there are days when I don't care. I want chicken nuggets or fries with my salad and I don't care if that bumps my work out from 30 min to an hr and a half. Then there are days where I don't want to workout for a hour or more. So its just not worth it.
Then if I make it a point to do everything by the book for a whole week, I pick one day to go eat dinner wherever the heck I want cause I frigin earned it. One meal will not kill an entire weeks worth of discipline. Its a reward and helps me feel normal. In the sense that I don't have to eat grass for the rest of my life, I can still enjoy some of the same foods, just not in the same quantity nor as often.
I used to be hard on myself when I gave in, I used to feel pathetic, upset, and gross. But with my doing it this way it makes me think before I eat and if I do make the choice to have something super unhealthy and delicious I don't have to feel super guilty because I'm making up for it in other ways. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Some people can stop their habits cold turkey. Some have to slowly make small changes. Find what works for you.0 -
I would suggest looking up some John Gabriel videos (lost hundreds of pounds) on youtube and to read his book. He has a non-diet approach. As well I recommend to watch some Dr. Daniel Amen videos and learn about what he calls A.N.T.'s They are the 9 types of automatic negative thoughts that people have. Learn to recognize when you are having them and how to deal with it. Successful long term weight loss is 90% attitude. Also look up the "Stages of Change. You can look at my profile picture for an example of that, it shows the worst case scenario when a person has put their plan into action and has had a relapsed right back to denial again. The thing to do is to get right back to the planning and action phase as soon as possible. Good Luck!0
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Sorry you're feeling down. That happens. For example, I'm having a hard time because I broke my leg a month ago. My dr. appt on monday will remove the stabilizer and replace it with a hinged thing that will allow me some range of motion, but I am soooo impatient for it to be monday, all I can think about is eating. ;-)
Luckily, I have a big exam on Wednesday that I have to keep studying for and all I have around that isn't healthy are fruit pops. Of course, I will replace those later.
Everyone has ups and downs. Good luck.0 -
Yup! I'm in the middle of my weight loss journey... I actually squeezed my bum into a size 12 this morning and went out feeling fab! Then I got to work and the boss had brought in donuts. I ended up eating three of them throughout the day! Yikes! But... I know it's not something I do often, and I know I've got lots of miles of running and healthy meals planned for the weekend, so I'm not beating myself up about it.
It gets easier! Once you've been working at it for a while and start to see results, it becomes a lifestyle instead of a diet. My husband loves trying new healthy meals with me now, even though he still eats his garbage when he needs to fend for himself. All in all, we've both gotten healthier in the long run. Once your room mate and your family sees how happy you are and how great you feel from making healthier choices, they may take a page from your book!0 -
I got shocked into healthy eating (and weight loss that naturally followed) with an unpleasant medical diagnosis.
I honestly don't know how people manage to switch gears without Fear Of Death hanging over them and give those people way more credit than I give me, lol.
I cannot tell you how to start avoiding McDonald's because you can't do it like I did.
I can tell you that once you manage to switch (which is damn hard at first, wishing you could eat all the yummy crap and not being able to!), it gets easier. It becomes more habit to eat what is in the house instead of picking up yummy fatness.
Good luck!0 -
newjeanbean wrote: »Every day is a new day, don't worry about it. Just keep your head up and start over today. I try to make sure that I drink plenty of water all day and have something to snack on at least every 3 hours. I've noticed if I DON'T do that then I'm an unstoppable force with the bottomless pit of a stomach, hahah. It's hard to say no, especially when people keep saying 'come on' and 'mmm, but this is so good.' Well, you just have to stick to your guns and say that you want to be healthier! I just ask them to leave me alone because it's already hard enough. Good luck!! Rome wasn't built in a day :-)
Exactly. It's really hard to resist.. but I'm trying my best now. I started drinking a lot of water just as you told me and fruits have become my daily snack(though I hear I'm not supposed to have a lot of it.) Thank you.. <Rome wasn't built in a day> .. Indeed it wasn't, but I sure wish it was!0 -
I wouldnt worry about it, its done now. Using words like monster to describe yourself is rather damaging to the one person you need to get assistance from i.e yourself. Being upset is pointless and a sign you are already putting too much pressure on yourself, which will make it harder and mean you are more likely to crash out. Be your own best friend and help yourself do better next time.
I know nothing about your plan but you need to prepare proerly and understand how dieting works. imo you should start by logging all your food aaccuraely including weighing because you need to know how much you are consuming.
A lot of the time you will have a choice to make to make a step towards target or take a step away. You need to take more steps towards rather than away from...
When I made this post, I was encouraged by emotion. I used the term monster as a metaphor for my lack of self control, yet now I feel silly. I know what you mean ; what's done is done, so I shouldn't feel bad about myself, and move on.
A lot of logs don't have my specific foods - usually it's a foreign dish. I don't know the calories which makes it hard. Though now I'm trying to stay away from such foods(because most of it is hopped up on sugar or salt). I find that the diets I've seen online are next to impossible because there are a lot of foods I don't buy, or they're really expensive than junk food.
I just bought a jump rope to do exercises. I'm also starting to run. <Keep reminding yourself the benefits of being slimmer and let that motivate you the next time temptation comes that way> I will definitely try that because not much good can come out of this body aside from the fact I can lift a 150 pound lion. Though that probably has much to do with my muscles in stead. Thanks a lot hun!0 -
micheleld73 wrote: »I agree with tigger that you need to log everything you eat. Once you see what it contains it will help to motivate you to say "no" more often. You also need to be your best cheerleader and not your biggest naysayer. Your journey should be a positive experience otherwise it will be too easy to give up on. Check out http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/ to find out where to set your calories and macros (carbs, proteins & fats) and make sure what you eat AND drink fits into those macros daily. This means moderation - not elimination!! So if one day you want that McD's meal, enjoy it, but don't make it a daily habit! Some people work to hit their daily goals while others aim for the weekly, so if you go over one day make it up on the other six days!
You can do this!!
<Your journey should be a positive experience otherwise it will be too easy to give up on.> That is true. Perhaps that is why I always shrug off my families comments. Motivation for one day, then back to my life of pig styne. I think what made it worse was the fact that I never actually had a proper set meal. I didn't know what Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner was, though I heard alot about it from my friend's. We just ate whenever we wanted.
My friend lost a lot through moderation, I never really thought it worked, that was silly with me. I think I'm going to have to research further about that. Thanks a lot dear.0 -
999tigger beat me to it, but PLEASE don't refer to yourself as a monster! That is self-defeating and you are far from a monster. Sounds like you were raised with poor eating habits. That part was not your fault. However, now you are 18 and are responsible for yourself and your own health. OWN it! Be proud that you now have this awesome privilege and make the best choice you can at any given time.
Being surrounded by family who don't understand what you're going through is incredibly difficult. But, many people have triumphed over that and so can you!
Yes, you are right! I am 18 right now, and I have to take responsibilities for my actions. And take action.
That's true, I've read a lot of success stories on this site and the positive feedback I see is really surprising. I was ready for some angry/annoyed commentators, but instead I got you guys.. and you have no idea how much that means to me. :')
Thanks a lot my friend!0 -
smandymail wrote: »Don't feel bad about yourself You should let your friends and family know that you want to make healthier choices, however, so that they can get on board. It's a sweet thing to do to buy a meal for you - it's just as sweet to buy a meal that you feel good about eating. Just have a talk with the people around you! It may be embarrassing at first, but it's necessary.
My sister, herself, is doing yoga and she is living a healthier lifestyle. But that doesn't mean she quits junk food in her diet, I think she's the type to practice moderation. I'm going to tell them to stop buying me fast food though because nothing good could come out of a dish served with mainly oil. <It may be embarrassing at first, but it's necessary> It sure is... but if it has to do with my health, I guess I have no choice. Well, it's better for me in the long run. Thank you :]0 -
Nothing you can do about it now. Remember how you feel right now and use that the next time you are tempted. It's difficult but not impossible. You don't have to eat it because it was purchased or offered. You can put it in the fridge and they can eat it another time. I guarantee, if you do that, they will be less likely to buy you something without asking. Maybe they are not taking your "diet" seriously. When you decline the snacks and stick to your guns they will get it. In fact, they may also join in on the healthier lifestyle.
Losing fat, looking great and improving health feels great. Greater than any temporary joy from junk food.
Good luck and stop beating yourself up about it afterwards. That does no good and won't take the calories away. Just be strong, stick to your "diet" and you will have no regrets.
That's actually some good advice. <Remember how you feel right now and use that the next time you are tempted> It was one of the worst feelings, because all that work I did previously was for nothing. Perhaps that is my fault for never refuting. I will make sure to decline from now on. I'm not the only one who would enjoy it, afterall!
Yes, I will do just that! Thank yous!
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For me personally, diets don't work. When I say I can't have something the minute an opportunity presents itself for me to have that something, I will give in and have it. So instead, I tell myself I can eat whatever I want. I can and I will.
I just make up for it. If I know that Bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit was 500 calories, I will exercise it off. Its a way of not feeling guilty and also as a sort of punishment for giving in. Which honestly there are days when I don't care. I want chicken nuggets or fries with my salad and I don't care if that bumps my work out from 30 min to an hr and a half. Then there are days where I don't want to workout for a hour or more. So its just not worth it.
Then if I make it a point to do everything by the book for a whole week, I pick one day to go eat dinner wherever the heck I want cause I frigin earned it. One meal will not kill an entire weeks worth of discipline. Its a reward and helps me feel normal. In the sense that I don't have to eat grass for the rest of my life, I can still enjoy some of the same foods, just not in the same quantity nor as often.
I used to be hard on myself when I gave in, I used to feel pathetic, upset, and gross. But with my doing it this way it makes me think before I eat and if I do make the choice to have something super unhealthy and delicious I don't have to feel super guilty because I'm making up for it in other ways. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Some people can stop their habits cold turkey. Some have to slowly make small changes. Find what works for you.
Oh, at first I was confused(I mean, eating anything you want and still losing wait? BLASPHEMY!) But now I get what you're saying. Exercise is the key.
Ah, you're the type to practice moderation. I'll have to take lessons from you.
Yes, there are a lot of commentators which have different methods - but all bodies are different and all minds are different. If you're the type who likes exercising, this method is great. If not... yeah, maybe harder, but still good for you in the long run. I'll experiment with different methods and try my best. Really, all I can do
Thanks friend! 0 -
fenderman9 wrote: »I would suggest looking up some John Gabriel videos (lost hundreds of pounds) on youtube and to read his book. He has a non-diet approach. As well I recommend to watch some Dr. Daniel Amen videos and learn about what he calls A.N.T.'s They are the 9 types of automatic negative thoughts that people have. Learn to recognize when you are having them and how to deal with it. Successful long term weight loss is 90% attitude. Also look up the "Stages of Change. You can look at my profile picture for an example of that, it shows the worst case scenario when a person has put their plan into action and has had a relapsed right back to denial again. The thing to do is to get right back to the planning and action phase as soon as possible. Good Luck!
I am really happy that you recommended books. I will be sure to keep my eyes around for them. Thanks a lot!
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47Jacqueline wrote: »Sorry you're feeling down. That happens. For example, I'm having a hard time because I broke my leg a month ago. My dr. appt on monday will remove the stabilizer and replace it with a hinged thing that will allow me some range of motion, but I am soooo impatient for it to be monday, all I can think about is eating. ;-)
Luckily, I have a big exam on Wednesday that I have to keep studying for and all I have around that isn't healthy are fruit pops. Of course, I will replace those later.
Everyone has ups and downs. Good luck.
Broke a leg.. I'm surprised you can compare something as silly as my dilemma to something as serious as that. But somehow it works, at moments like that you can't help but want to gorge.
Thank you. :]0 -
WonderWhitney11 wrote: »Yup! I'm in the middle of my weight loss journey... I actually squeezed my bum into a size 12 this morning and went out feeling fab! Then I got to work and the boss had brought in donuts. I ended up eating three of them throughout the day! Yikes! But... I know it's not something I do often, and I know I've got lots of miles of running and healthy meals planned for the weekend, so I'm not beating myself up about it.
It gets easier! Once you've been working at it for a while and start to see results, it becomes a lifestyle instead of a diet. My husband loves trying new healthy meals with me now, even though he still eats his garbage when he needs to fend for himself. All in all, we've both gotten healthier in the long run. Once your room mate and your family sees how happy you are and how great you feel from making healthier choices, they may take a page from your book!
Ah, office food... can't help those type of temptations. Sugary sweets, mine used to have cheese balls and cookies which I would munch on every five seconds. Didn't help my case, nor the fact I would go across the street and wash it down with a pepsi. Not pretty.
<Once you've been working at it for a while and start to see results, it becomes a lifestyle instead of a diet. > I bet! I'm kind of scared because I know after I get my target weight, it's not like I can go back to my old ways unless I want everything to be for nothing. I hope I can live with that. Thanks dear!
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I got shocked into healthy eating (and weight loss that naturally followed) with an unpleasant medical diagnosis.
I honestly don't know how people manage to switch gears without Fear Of Death hanging over them and give those people way more credit than I give me, lol.
I cannot tell you how to start avoiding McDonald's because you can't do it like I did.
I can tell you that once you manage to switch (which is damn hard at first, wishing you could eat all the yummy crap and not being able to!), it gets easier. It becomes more habit to eat what is in the house instead of picking up yummy fatness.
Good luck!
Your medical diagnosis seems to be like any other motivation. Only thing is you probably don't have a choice unless you want to fall sick, so there's that. Though I'm assuming you're used to it by now.
On the other hand, seeing all that "yummy crap" could get you in a state of.. well, craziness, but we should always remember a lot of this "yummy crap" are packed with preservatives and inorganic mush which can make your stomach explode. -> basically my method of trying to stay away from most foods now, hahaha!
Thanks a lot hun, and take care 0 -
rkmerley, I just wanted to say that after reading your responses to each and every post (very thoughtful) that you seem very well "spoken" (i.e. written). If you hadn't stated your age I'd have not guessed you were only 18. Give yourself the credit you deserve! You seem very smart and mature. Changing your lifestyle in spite of any negativity around you is completely within your reach!0
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I agree with all the great posts and replies and would like to add a thought. I also have loved ones who present me with little tokens of love and thoughtfulness in the form of food and sweets. I try to keep in mind that they are not purposefully sabotaging my health and diet. (Think positive!) They are showing me that they thought of me when they were getting something for themselves. They are not as nutritionally aware as you are but hopefully you will be able to educate them through example. Keep up the good work!
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Sorry for not replying sooner! I'm.. not so great at the moment, truthfully. I rarely eat fast food now, but I find I'm indulging myself with sodas(my biggest enemy!) And I guess I'm the only one to blame seeing as how I always have a choice, but I keep making the same one. Ah, but I came back here because I'm motivated to stop again and I'm hoping this will be more long term. I did lose my motivation for sometime, but here's hoping I get it back. Will probably do wonders for my wallet. I'm also thinking about taking up yoga as well. Thanks for asking!! 0 -
rkmerley, I just wanted to say that after reading your responses to each and every post (very thoughtful) that you seem very well "spoken" (i.e. written). If you hadn't stated your age I'd have not guessed you were only 18. Give yourself the credit you deserve! You seem very smart and mature. Changing your lifestyle in spite of any negativity around you is completely within your reach!
You have? That's a lot of posts, heh. Everyone's just been so nice to me, I would have felt just awful not replying back to them. I honestly do appreciate your words, thank you so much!0 -
I agree with all the great posts and replies and would like to add a thought. I also have loved ones who present me with little tokens of love and thoughtfulness in the form of food and sweets. I try to keep in mind that they are not purposefully sabotaging my health and diet. (Think positive!) They are showing me that they thought of me when they were getting something for themselves. They are not as nutritionally aware as you are but hopefully you will be able to educate them through example. Keep up the good work!
That's a really positive way of looking at things! I totally get what you mean, thanks for the thought and I certainly will! 0
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