3 years of diet, lifting, loose skin, and life.
CrusaderSam
Posts: 180 Member
Ok so a little about me. (also please forgive me for any typos I never did like to listen to the teachin lady at school) I think I was what you would call "fat" by around the 3rd grade. I only started this life style 3 years ago so I was a fat person almost my whole life. When I got out of high school, I was about 5'11" and 300lbs. I stuck with those stats until I hit about 30 give or take. Like most people I failed to lose weight a bunch of times. I started lifting weights because I hurt my back and I kind of fell in love with weights, but I wasn't losing any weight. So I started off small by just eating a "healthy breakfast" then that turned in to 2 healthy meals then 3. After a few months I started tracking my food because it was getting harder to keep steady. Yeah I would toss in a cheat meal here and there or eat a little bit of junk now and then. I have to say they were kind of rare because I don't do moderation very well. So my story shouldn't be a big shock to anyone, tons of people on this site have done the same thing. It's almost the default "I am a success story you see on this site".
Where my story is a little bit different then most peoples, is after I lost the weight. When I hit my goal I was super low body fat, under 8% for sure. My skin was very loose and baggy and I though If I just lost enough fat it would tighten up. You get a lot of the "you still have fat just lose more and it will go away". So to get to this super low body fat I was eating around 1200 cal a day. My face started to look so bad, people though I had cancer or was on meth. So it was very hard on me, and didn't fix my skin, if anything it made it worse.
Well that didn't work out so well for me. It was super hard to maintain my weight after that, It was just flying around all over. I would have constant thoughts of wanting to just end it all. My hormones I think got all out of whack. Thank goodness it didn't last that long and everything went back to normal in a few months(I don't even track my food anymore). Yes I still feel very bad about the skin, even to this day, but I don't let it get to me because lots of people better then me have it way worse then I do. I am in no rush to get it removed, yeah its something I would like but I don't NEED it gone.
Before and after
2 Year mark, I know posted this one here before.
Almost 3 years I think I gained a bit of muscle about 3 or 4lbs.
Holding up the skin so you can see the abbs better.
Now where my story branches off even more then other peoples. I though loosing the weight and getting in shape would help me get more women(not the reason I lost weight but it was a though I had in my head). I was better off when I was fat. To lose the weight, I had to take time to just work on me. The problem is women (or at least the ones I go after) don't like this version of me. I could go more in to it, but women want guys to accept them for who they are, but it just doesn't go both ways. So its a more lonely life now.
Next is I still have, what you could call fitness goals. I still want to put on a bit more muscle and get stronger. I know what I need to do, and its not bulking and cutting. Unlike most people, I talk to the people at my gym, and the big guys would just laugh at most people that do the whole bulking and cutting. I don't think what they do is wrong, just not right for me. Its hard to accept my goals, as small as they are, at this point might not be worth trying to get without help (if you don't know what I am talking about that's ok, go back to sleep). I know people here want to believe you can just keep bulking and cutting till the point you are so big you are climbing the empire state building with a woman in one had and swatting off airplanes with the other, but that just is not they way things work. You do hit a limit at some point.
So all in all losing weight, hands down has be the best thing I have ever done for my health. I feel so much better. I dont have to worry if I will fit in to things and I can walk and go up steps without wanting to pass out. Its been an incredible journey and yeah I made a ton of mistakes but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now as far as how it changed my life, not much. It is almost kind of a big let down and in some ways ,it can be worse. I wont ever go back to being fat(I don't even have any junk food anymore at all , I can if I wanted to, I just don't care about food at all at this point in my life), just I though it would have been a lot better then this. I think a lot of other people are like me, just they are almost to afraid to say everything is not all magic and rainbows and *kitten*. Just because you look a lot better and are not fat anymore life can still be very hard.
If anyone wants to leave a comment I will read it. I will try and answer questions but I don't have all day to be on the internet, so no hard feelings if I don't get back to you. If you have any advice chances are I wont listen to it (I know that's not going to stop any one from giving it).
Where my story is a little bit different then most peoples, is after I lost the weight. When I hit my goal I was super low body fat, under 8% for sure. My skin was very loose and baggy and I though If I just lost enough fat it would tighten up. You get a lot of the "you still have fat just lose more and it will go away". So to get to this super low body fat I was eating around 1200 cal a day. My face started to look so bad, people though I had cancer or was on meth. So it was very hard on me, and didn't fix my skin, if anything it made it worse.
Well that didn't work out so well for me. It was super hard to maintain my weight after that, It was just flying around all over. I would have constant thoughts of wanting to just end it all. My hormones I think got all out of whack. Thank goodness it didn't last that long and everything went back to normal in a few months(I don't even track my food anymore). Yes I still feel very bad about the skin, even to this day, but I don't let it get to me because lots of people better then me have it way worse then I do. I am in no rush to get it removed, yeah its something I would like but I don't NEED it gone.
Before and after
2 Year mark, I know posted this one here before.
Almost 3 years I think I gained a bit of muscle about 3 or 4lbs.
Holding up the skin so you can see the abbs better.
Now where my story branches off even more then other peoples. I though loosing the weight and getting in shape would help me get more women(not the reason I lost weight but it was a though I had in my head). I was better off when I was fat. To lose the weight, I had to take time to just work on me. The problem is women (or at least the ones I go after) don't like this version of me. I could go more in to it, but women want guys to accept them for who they are, but it just doesn't go both ways. So its a more lonely life now.
Next is I still have, what you could call fitness goals. I still want to put on a bit more muscle and get stronger. I know what I need to do, and its not bulking and cutting. Unlike most people, I talk to the people at my gym, and the big guys would just laugh at most people that do the whole bulking and cutting. I don't think what they do is wrong, just not right for me. Its hard to accept my goals, as small as they are, at this point might not be worth trying to get without help (if you don't know what I am talking about that's ok, go back to sleep). I know people here want to believe you can just keep bulking and cutting till the point you are so big you are climbing the empire state building with a woman in one had and swatting off airplanes with the other, but that just is not they way things work. You do hit a limit at some point.
So all in all losing weight, hands down has be the best thing I have ever done for my health. I feel so much better. I dont have to worry if I will fit in to things and I can walk and go up steps without wanting to pass out. Its been an incredible journey and yeah I made a ton of mistakes but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now as far as how it changed my life, not much. It is almost kind of a big let down and in some ways ,it can be worse. I wont ever go back to being fat(I don't even have any junk food anymore at all , I can if I wanted to, I just don't care about food at all at this point in my life), just I though it would have been a lot better then this. I think a lot of other people are like me, just they are almost to afraid to say everything is not all magic and rainbows and *kitten*. Just because you look a lot better and are not fat anymore life can still be very hard.
If anyone wants to leave a comment I will read it. I will try and answer questions but I don't have all day to be on the internet, so no hard feelings if I don't get back to you. If you have any advice chances are I wont listen to it (I know that's not going to stop any one from giving it).
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Replies
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Great job on the weight loss... I'm sorry you're upset about the skin, but you look really good despite it. Maybe a woman who has been through a similar journey would be more understanding.0
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Great job on the transformation! I'm not quite understanding the issue with the women though. Are you saying they just don't like the smaller you or they have an issue with the skin? Regardless don't let it get you down, you're doing awesome.0
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Some women have told me the skin looks gross, and I am better off without someone like that in my life, but I wont lie, yes it is hurtful. That is not the main thing at all, when I have a shirt on, no one can tell. I don't like going out to dinners, and having strangers make my food for me now. I put in a lot of time in they gym. Also an age thing I think. I do kind of look like a jock now. I know when I was fat, if a super good looking woman was in to me I would think they were messing with me, I think It would be fair to say women have the same hang up.(not saying I am all that good looking or anything but I am fit) The dating pool once you get in to your 30s is already slim enough, and once you start adding extra hoops (looking like the guy that did them wrong in their early 20's doesn't help). I know, I should stop hitting on fat ugos, and start going out with women 10 years younger then me! HELL YEAH! Joking aside its also not something I am putting all that much effort in to at the moment.0
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Hey your transformation looks amazing!! Your back looks especially great. And I'm sorry you're still finding things hard having lost the weight - but at least now you can work on other aspects of your life with a fit, healthy body?
Your paragraph about women smacks of a fedora wearing 'nice-guy', I hope this isn't the case but if it is that might be where your problem is...0 -
I don't think loose skin really looks all that bad, to be honest. It's not the epitome of god-like perfection we see in glossy magazines, but it's certainly not freak show material either. I also think loose skin feels interesting to the touch. Unlike flab.
That said, I think it can be tempting to chalk up all of our social problems to being singly due to our fat problem... If someone doesn't like us or enjoy our company, we can easily tell ourselves it's because we're fat, and therefore, that person is a shallow SOB. It's not a total stretch, there are shallow SOB's that don't like fat people for the simple fact that they are fat people.
When we're not fat anymore, and there are still people that don't like us, that can be upsetting to anyone who has, possibly, blamed their fat for being disliked in the past. It may even feel a lot more personal.
There are lots of skinny guys that can't get girls to like them. Thinness doesn't magically make anyone likable or boyfriend-material.
No advice for you, since you said you probably won't take it. But just sharing some thoughts I had.
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Congrats on your success. Sorry to hear that your issue with women is not something your are putting all that much effort into at the moment. I do believe that there are a lot of single women out there who would truly appreciate a man like you. Just a hint, if you see a women as a "fat ugo" she is going to sense it. It's not women's attitude about you that's the problem.0
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You've obviously put a lot of work into your body, and it shows. Having been overweight practically my entire life, it's too easy to fall into the trap of thinking life will be perfect when I lose the weight. But I realize I will still be the same person, just in a slimmer body. If there are aspects to myself that I don't care for, I need to work on them all - not just the body.
I think you look good. You've got great muscle definition, and that, to me, outweighs the loose skin issue. Any woman who says a part of your body is "gross" is someone with a lot more problems than loose skin and not someone you need to be with.
I have heard that it takes a while for loose skin to retract, and it does get better as more time goes on. Maybe not 100% perfect, but better. Maybe some patience and self acceptance is in order.0 -
CrusaderSam wrote: »If you have any advice chances are I wont listen to it (I know that's not going to stop any one from giving it).
Man disease right there. Seek cure...
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Time to work on the financial and emo aspects of your life. Talk to a cosmetic surgeon to find out what they can do and what it will cost. Set the goal and achieve it. I hear it is painful but probably not as bad as loneliness.-1
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Having been overweight practically my entire life, it's too easy to fall into the trap of thinking life will be perfect when I lose the weight. But I realize I will still be the same person, just in a slimmer body.
This is the main thing I wanted to stress to other people. Not how much tail I am pulling. If you are not eating the stuff other people around you are eating it will cause a lot of stress. It doesn't matter, men or women, workplace or home, parents or partner. I am ok with my skin now but it is still something I am looking at getting fixed down the road.0 -
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pattyjoshockley wrote: »Congrats on your success. Sorry to hear that your issue with women is not something your are putting all that much effort into at the moment. I do believe that there are a lot of single women out there who would truly appreciate a man like you. Just a hint, if you see a women as a "fat ugo" she is going to sense it. It's not women's attitude about you that's the problem.
You missed that that was actually a joke he threw in there. Subtle but he did mention that he was kidding.
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A couple things. Many won't like it but anyone that knows me won't be surprised.
1. Great job losing the weight. It's a strong accomplishment.
2. The loose skin sucks. Many of us deal with it on different levels. Some worse than others. But if you give me the options of 300 lbs or goal weight with a bunch of loose skin, I'm choosing loose skin ever time.
With that said. You said women troubles were present, consider that it may not be your before or after appearance that they didn't like, it might just be your overall attitude. You've posted here before and your advice has been a bit wild (not in a good way). Now you refuse advice if it's offered and I guess it's because you feel you hit your goal and know more than us but remember, someone out there will always know more than us. We can always learn something. If there is nothing to learn there's no point in living. Even the smartest people in the world will take advice from people.
This^ I always say take what you can use and leave the rest....0 -
My observation is this…You need to work at meeting women that you have something in common with. Also, you need to work on "normal life" now. Many people of healthy weights eat in restaurants. It's fun, social and a great thing to do on a date. You worked so hard to lose weight. Now you should work really hard on being a good date, friend, partner etc. You should be proud of losing so much weight and getting healthy but if you want to find a woman to be in a relationship with, you have to work at that too.0
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I think you look great! The skin is your battle wounds. There is nothing wrong with it. I know I will be in the same boat. I am blessed with a man who loves me as I am and I love him as he is. Good women are out there. If they judge you based off of that, they are superficial and not worth you or your time. I think long term maintenance will be the hardest. I am learning its not "diet," its a way of life. When I occasionally put in a cheat meal, I'm learning I feel like crap. So my cheat meals are far and few between.....actually coming to an end. I love the fact I no longer crave sugar. I want the apple.
Best of luck to you. You are an inspiration for me to keep moving forward with my healthy choices and changes.
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It seems like I am getting 2 totally different camps. People that have had to struggle with very large amounts of weight for most of their lives. Then the people that have not, and it seems like I am just talking over them and what I am saying is just total alien gibberish.
I am fine with my lose skin, I am fine with being single. I don't need other people in my life to make me happy or tight skin. Its not like whenever I go on a date I end up beating them with the muffler off a truck because I am so damn hangry. I know women have the same problems(I know this because I have a working set of eyes and read the support forum).
You guys dont have to worry about me I am doing just fine. Or at least I was doing fine until people started telling me that I am financially and emotionally out of control and I have an attitude problem. If you think about it, whats the right way someone should take that. This is why sharing stuff like this is so hard, I know people mean well but its not like I am made out of stone.0 -
Fantastic loss! I hope you focus on things besides yourself now and then though. That can make life more rewarding, IMO.
You talked a lot about how its hard to date because you don't want to eat crap and lots of going out involves eating/drinking. I'm curious if you are so strict on this that you wouldn't enjoy a meal with your Mom if she invited you to dinner and made something that didn't fit in your "plan". Or if your Dad invited you to meet him for drinks and supper at a sports bar.
Just poking at you because I think there is more to life than pleasing ourselves all the time.0 -
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Who would that be?
That would be anyone who never have gotten an ear full of people trying to sell them on every thing from magic skin detox pills, skin brushes and body wraps. I will tell you what go ahead drop the money for them and I will test them all out just for you.
To be honest I didnt think my dating life would be that big a topic. It seems other people care more about it then I do so go ahead tell me what ever you like, just get it all out.
Also I treat my parents just like I would any other people.0 -
Nice job on the weight loss, I admire your handwork and discipline. I worry about the loose skin too, I mostly have it in my lower stomach.
but I'd rather be smaller and have loose skin than almost 300 lbs like before. 
I think you look really really good, I don't really even notice the skin, I'm in awe of what you have accomplished!!
As for the dating thing.. it always happens when you least expect it, people shouldn't worry about that. Maybe if you don't like going out to eat on dates.. dine in? Make dinner at home, who says you have to go out, I'd personally prefer an in-home meal any day of the week. All you need is a candle, some flowers and a good person to share a meal and conversation. Can't really get to know someone at the movies.. haha.0 -
great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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From your post I gather that you think since you lost weight you think you're superior than some females. I could be wrong. But it sounds like you a really shtty attitude towards females and if that continues you will forever and ever have to say hello to your me time hand. Just because you're "Fit" it doesn't make you attractive with that ugly attitude. Since everyone else wasn't being blunt. But anyways congrats on your weight loss.0
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Tblackdogs wrote: »My observation is this…You need to work at meeting women that you have something in common with. Also, you need to work on "normal life" now. Many people of healthy weights eat in restaurants. It's fun, social and a great thing to do on a date. You worked so hard to lose weight. Now you should work really hard on being a good date, friend, partner etc. You should be proud of losing so much weight and getting healthy but if you want to find a woman to be in a relationship with, you have to work at that too.
^ This 100 percent.0 -
Crusader Sam, I don't know what it is like to have the amount of loose skin you do, but I do know what it is like to have lost a lot of weight and feel really uncomfortable about the way it left my body feeling. I was still covered in stretch marks and had loose skin. My partners were all very accepting of my body and great guys. There are people our there who don't care; who see your heart and will love you for that. I know this sounds terribly cliche, but it really can happen for you. You are in a better place to meet someone because you are healthier and can be there more for a new lady. Continue to take care of yourself (you totally deserve it) and just be yourself, she is out there and you will meet her before you know it.0
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AWESOME TRANSFORMATION! Do what YOU need to do to be happy and feel healthy. Sometimes, we just need to avoid those "comfort foods" altogether to stay on the right track. Keep it up and stay focused on your own goals! 0
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self esteem problems much? can't take criticism without getting defensive about it. Gratz on the weight loss but someone said it earlier, you should really work on having a life outside of diet and fitness. Saying women are the problem isn't helping your case. The part where you said women expect you to accept them for who they are and how it doesn't work both ways is complete bs. Judging on your attitude on here, I can see why women don't like you. Usually I'm not so rude/mean in these posts but when you start to find reasoning why something isn't going your way (such as women) you put it all on them and not on you. This whole I'm not taking advice from anyone also makes you sound narcissistic. Anyways, sorry for the harsh post but I got irritated at some of your responses to people in this thread.0
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I'm glad you posted, again. I have an issue with loose skin, and after reading your post last year, I thought, "well, maybe it'll take five or so years for my skin to catch up to my progress," and after an seeing an additional year of your progress, I have hope that maybe someday, it'll be like the first 28 years of my life never happened. (fingers crossed)
thanks for reposting!0 -
ZZ Top said it best, "Every girls crazy about a sharp dressed man". Being well dressed and confident without being arrogant is key to set up apart from the crowd with the ladies. I agree with williamwj, you do project an attitude that might be off putting.0
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