feeling isolated

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Replies

  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »
    There are individuals here who are battling eating disorders and posts discussing VLCDs can be triggering and lead them to engage in unhealthy habits. Even if the person is eating a VLCD for medical purposes and is under the supervision of a doctor, it's simply against the rules of MFP.

    I (and others) am glad you found something that works for you but what works for you can be deadly for others. You need to be mindful of that. So if you do not want to be flagged, refrain from discussing VLCDs here.

    We are all adults here, supposedly. People need to take responsibility for their own actions. It's perfectly fine for someone to do this under the care of a doctor. If people have a problem with this, that's THEIR problem. They really need to get over it, take responsibility for their own lives and act like an adult.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    neandermagnon wrote: »
    Juju1970 wrote: »
    I am sorry I wasn't clear. I get flagged for being on a doctor supervised vlcd. it doesn't violate any rules. After review, it looks like my comments get put back up. Apparently, readers on MFP know how to save my life better than my cardiologist.

    If a doctor prescribed you heroin (yes that is a prescription drug for certain medical conditions although its pharmaceutical name is different) does that mean it's okay to encourage people to take heroin without a doctor's prescription?

    There are some situations where VLCDs are medically justified, but for the general population they are not safe. And even when they are medically justified, they should be done under a doctor's supervision. A doctor's prescription is for one person only, and they're based on that person's unique medical history, and they're not safe for the general population to self-prescribe. Hence why it's against community guidelines for people to promote VLCDs, because they actually aren't safe for the general population.

    Also, if your posts have been deleted, then you must have broken community guidelines (i.e. promoting unsafe dieting techniques) - flags mean nothing, because moderators simply ignore flags that have been made for stupid reasons. However, if the mods have deleted your posts (no-one else can) then you must have broken community guidelines.

    I was under the impression that 5 flags result in posts being hidden for mod review. She said her posts were put back though, so it seems like they didn't violate the guidelines. People really are flag happy on here. It's ridiculous.


    Okay if that's all that's happening then maybe she wasn't breaking guidelines. I agree people are flag happy. For breaking community guidelines people are supposed to use the "report" flag. "spam" is only for bot type spam like the resident baba black magic dude and the "abuse" is supposed to be only for extremely blatant abuse.

    If people are regularly abusing the spam and abuse ones, rather than using the "report" button for community guidelines, I think the mods should take action against them.
  • LeonCX
    LeonCX Posts: 862 Member
    edited November 2014
    "non-traditional" forms of weight control will always receive negative reactions in the public forums. That's just a fact - I hope the OP can live with that. Support for these types of diets probably get better responses in the Groups section of MFP, such as the Atkins and Paleo. She should start a VLCD or Medfast group. Then she can moderate and remove unwanted posts. That would be my advice for the OP.
  • bloodlett
    bloodlett Posts: 33 Member
    if the group that opposes to this type of weight loss would look at the tools they use for weight loss like gyms Oo yes that is a tool or protein powders or videos they should flag themselfs vlcd is only a tool used to kick start a life altering change I wish you all the best with your extended life
  • Cyclingbonnie
    Cyclingbonnie Posts: 413 Member
    There are people who will criticize no matter what. Important thing to remember … ignore the ugliness. You and your doctor have worked out what is right for you. As someone else pointed out that this doesn't mean it would be right for someone else. At some point you will come off the super tight restriction and you will do that with your doctor's support. I think you will find that the tools here will help you maintain your healthy weight. Hang in there, don't expect everyone to know what is and isn't going to be healthy and or right for you. Since your super restrictive diet is not the norm you will receive knee jerk reactions from people. Hang in there and remember it is the long haul we are aiming for. So when you get to your goal weight you want to stay there. Hard to do, that one I haven't conquered. Good luck!
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    Does anyone else think that perhaps some people on here don't understand the different between an MFP "flag" and a Facebook "Like"? My guess is that people are trying to "Like" your post by checking the flag, then the moderators are forced to take it down to investigate, then realize there is nothing actually wrong w/your post, then put it back up. Anyone else think this might be the case?
  • jennilsf
    jennilsf Posts: 57 Member
    edited November 2014
    When you click flag, you then automatically have to choose 1 of 3 options : spam, abuse, or report, or it does nothing, so no, they know it is not a "like". I do wish we had that option! :)
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,349 Member
    I am very careful how I use the forums on here. I am taking an exercise and small deficit approach but am pretty tolerant. I suggest finding a group with similar issues rather than posting on the main forums. I set up a group for people in my age range that share a different challenge. It is a very supportive group. I haven't had to delete any abuse on it. I post on one group where we just post the number of days we exercise each month. I post on a group that is for daily check in because I find that helpful. I don't really know what approach others are using to lose. One group doesn't have to do it all for you. If you need support to exercise there are supportive groups for that. If you use a Fitbit there is one for that. Just posting on the general board can be risky even if you aren't saying anything particularly controversial. There are definite MFPisms. Losing alot of weight is one of the most difficult things to do. You have to find your own way. I tried the MFP way of purely calories in and calories burned and it didn't work for me after a while. I have to limit the junk. After losing 10% of my weight using MFP settings I stalled on a moderately low calorie deficit for months on end despite doing everything to get through it. I personally had to stop eating at a calorie deficit for a while to reset my maintenance calories and then eat more calories with a very small calorie deficit. I found a group here that helped. I slowly lost more (40 pounds). Right now my issue is different since my work schedule makes exercise and cooking healthy really difficult and that is what works for me.

    On this fight you can't let anything get in your way. It is great you aren't giving in to people who are judging your approach and frankly that is what it takes. You are finding others here that do understand and others that have had issues with it. I use the forums for finding out about something or finding a recipe. When I first introduced myself no one but one person posted. Now I have too many friends and they are all supportive. Once in a while I respond to something that interests me. I have asked for specific advice like when I first started running and when I posted a curiosity like losing a shoe size and the response was wonderful. So I love and am grateful to MFP but then I wouldn't let it get in my way either.

    Your approach is definitely not the only one that is controversial on here and those others have found their place. I am sure that some of those who understood are friends now. Best wishes and congratulations on your success.
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    jennilsf wrote: »
    When you click flag, you then automatically have to choose 1 of 3 options : spam, abuse, or report, or it does nothing, so no, they know it is not a "like". I do wish we had that option! :)

    Hmm, Good point! :)
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    KeriA wrote: »
    I suggest finding a group with similar issues rather than posting on the main forums.

    I totally agree with this! When I first started here I posted a lot about emotional eating and food addiction, and I got blasted out of the water by the self-righteous forums n@zi's (you know the type, the people who have 30,000 posts and believe they hold the keys to the health-universe). :D The blessing that came out of it was a large friend base of folks who reached out to me after reading my posts, all of which were in the exact same boat, totally understood what I was talking about, and also felt judged by the snotty mfp judgy-judgers. We now just hang out on my wall discussing various issues and it's great.

    I know there is a feature where you can even start a group. That might be the way to go?
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    makingmylifebetter wrote: »
    FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »
    There are individuals here who are battling eating disorders and posts discussing VLCDs can be triggering and lead them to engage in unhealthy habits. Even if the person is eating a VLCD for medical purposes and is under the supervision of a doctor, it's simply against the rules of MFP.

    I (and others) am glad you found something that works for you but what works for you can be deadly for others. You need to be mindful of that. So if you do not want to be flagged, refrain from discussing VLCDs here.

    This is ridiculous. There are also people discussing alcohol here, which could be dangerous for alcoholics. There are people discussing desserts, which could be deadly for me as a 300-pound dessert lover. There are people discussing depression, which could set someone off who is likewise depressed. There are people discussing gastric bypass, which some people do die from.

    Very low calorie diets, particularly medically supervised ones, are a legitimate form of weight loss, and as adults we should be allowed to discuss them. I have a particular interest, as my brother recently started a medically supervised Optifast diet, and I am considering the pros and cons of such a diet and whether I should consider it myself.

    Also, there seems to be no ban on discussing intermittent fasting. Could that not also "set off" someone with an eating disorder?

    Edited to add-- kudos to the original poster on your success in regaining health, and apologies for all those who seem unable to support you.

    I never said there was anything wrong with VLCDs for medical purposes. All I said was simply why it's against MFP rules to discuss VLCDs- no matter why the person is on one. I don't make the rules so don't get in a huff towards me.
  • in_the_stars
    in_the_stars Posts: 1,395 Member
    wow... just here for a moment, but the forums? Poor woman, and a new member, too.

    Maybe I'm missing something but I believe solitude and isolation have different meanings. Solitude? calm and serene. Isolation? fearful.
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