How to deal with high metabolism roommates?

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  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Everyone is different and you can't compare your body's differences in needs with theirs. Believe me my 14 year old daughter can eat constantly and not gain a pound, where I have but to look at it. It comes down to you having self control and making the choice to bypass it when you've met your daily calories.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    lilmisfit1987 wrote: »
    Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)

    To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. :smile: Good luck!

    :laugh:

    Though I believe some folk may have higher BMR than others, you do realize his activity that the does for 6-8 hours before sitting on his butt all day is probably what I would do in a 1-2 hour intense exercise session and be screaming for Mommy afterwards? :bigsmile: Your answer was in your own post
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Keep your eyes on your own plate. Don't concern yourself with what other people are eating.
    Don't eat meals with them if their eating habits bother you so much. They aren't your spouse or children. You don't have to share mealtime with them. Eat at a different time or eat in your room.
    Plan your meals for the week in advance. Log your food for the day in advance. You will make better choices if you have a plan instead of going with the flow.
    Measure your portions. Don't feel deprived or pitiful. You can eat the exact same foods just not the same portions. Use a smaller plate. Maybe you'll decide you want a bigger plate of food filled with lower calorie foods.You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight. If you have your calorie goal figured right for you then you should not really be hungry after eating to your limit. If you want to eat more, then exercise more.
    Drink water most of the time.
  • Taajsgpm
    Taajsgpm Posts: 36
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    heychristyna wrote: »
    My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.

    Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?

    If they were shooting heroin would you? No, so dont let their lifestyle choices take away from what you want in your life and if its too hard , just leave good luck
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,624 Member
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    lilmisfit1987 wrote: »
    Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)

    To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. :smile: Good luck!

    And all of that physical activity at work, being at least 30hrs a week of likely moderate to intense activity, greatly increases his TDEE.

    His BMR is no lower or higher than others with his stats, on average. His TDEE however, due to his extra activity, is higher. Hence he can eat more and not gain weight.
  • ForecasterJason
    ForecasterJason Posts: 2,577 Member
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    lilmisfit1987 wrote: »
    Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)

    To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. :smile: Good luck!
    Agreed. A lot of online calorie calculators (including MFP) underestimate my maintenance calories by at least 200, and yet I'm actually sedentary. I'm pretty certain that per pound, I'm maintaining on more calories than a lot of other sedentary people.
    ana3067 wrote:
    His BMR is no lower or higher than others with his stats, on average. His TDEE however, due to his extra activity, is higher. Hence he can eat more and not gain weight.
    Keep in mind that almost every online calorie calculator would suggest that even with a very active lifestyle, he would need at the very most 4,000 calories (more like 3800 or less). But yet, she's saying he's eating a good bit more than that.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    ForecasterJason wrote: »
    Keep in mind that almost every online calorie calculator would suggest that even with a very active lifestyle, he would need at the very most 4,000 calories (more like 3800 or less). But yet, she's saying he's eating a good bit more than that.
    Though having your girlfriend count up your intake for a day can probably encourage you to eat more that day. Or exaggerate your intake, in your report to her.

    Outside the world of calorie counting, I think most people have a high variance in their day to day intake, too. If I post-count, I do. You might eat 70% of TDEE for a day or two, then 130%. If you just sample one of those day and assume every other day is just like it, it's a bad estimate.

  • Justloselb
    Justloselb Posts: 6
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    I have 3 friends and a sister that can eat anything. I'm over here eating a salad and look a cookie and bam! Gain 3lbs. Lol it is hard being around them but everyone has there limits.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    edited November 2014
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    What do people keep saying "Such and such can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight!". Anybody can eat "ANYTHING" and not gain weight.

    Just because you see somebody eating foods you mistakenly believe inherently cause weight gain does not mean they're overeating them every single day in excess of their TDEE.


  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Iwishyouwell wrote: »
    What do people keep saying "Such and such can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight!". Anybody can eat "ANYTHING" and not gain weight.

    Just because you see somebody eating foods you mistakenly believe inherently cause weight gain does not mean they're overeating them every single day in excess of their TDEE.
    Exactly. They're not eating like that every day, because if they were they would gain weight.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
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    My roommate eats a big bag of Fritos every single day...and she's a size 0 Russian model. So not only is she gorgeous, she's skinny. It's a huge blow to the ol' self esteem, but I'm learning to deal with the fact that we have different caloric needs.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
    edited November 2014
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    heychristyna wrote: »
    My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.

    Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?

    I easily can eat 3 quesadillas a day and if I eat quesadillas for breakfast plus another meal, it easily can be more than three. But since I live in Mexico, I make them the mexican way: one normal size corn tortilla ( would probably be considered small in the US ) and a little bit of cheese and a spoon full of salsa. It's not so much the three quesadillas, but all the other stuff you eat. I watch what else I eat if I eat 4 or more quesadillas a day.
    I also would not blame it on their " high metabolism ", but observe what they do different from you. Maybe they are much more active, maybe they actually eat less than you do.
    I agree it is hard to stick to your routine if others don't. But they don't have to. You have to be responsible for yourself and nothing more.
    Good Luck !

    BTW: I eat Mexican food every day and still have lost 55 pounds. It's not what I eat, but how much I eat. I believe that is true for almost everyone barring medical conditions.

  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    My husband seems like this. However, I know that
    1) he does not get enough to eat at work most days, so he eats all evening and all weekend. He just will not make time to step out of the lab and grab something to eat. He has a salad for lunch and he sometimes brings it home to finish at 8pm.
    2) he does not sit, or even lie, still unless he is sleeping. Most people need to relax and still themselves to fall asleep. If I ask him to stop jittering and lie still, it requires so much concentration that he can't fall asleep.

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    malavika413 wrote: »
    My roommate eats a big bag of Fritos every single day...and she's a size 0 Russian model. So not only is she gorgeous, she's skinny. It's a huge blow to the ol' self esteem, but I'm learning to deal with the fact that we have different caloric needs.
    Right, but she eats the right amount of food with those Fritos to maintain her weight. Caloric needs for a small person are much less than a bigger person. She's not a special snowflake, as none of us are.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Iwishyouwell wrote: »
    What do people keep saying "Such and such can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight!". Anybody can eat "ANYTHING" and not gain weight.

    Just because you see somebody eating foods you mistakenly believe inherently cause weight gain does not mean they're overeating them every single day in excess of their TDEE.
    Exactly. They're not eating like that every day, because if they were they would gain weight.

    Or they do gain marginal amounts of weight, and people don't notice.

    The vast majority of people just aren't going to notice if somebody puts on 5 or less pounds. Hell many wouldn't notice 10.

    Your "skinny" friend who seemingly can eat all the time without gaining a pound? Well actually they might have gained a few. Just because they're not fat, or it's not noticeable to you, doesn't mean that some of them don't fluctuate as well.

    Just because a person isn't 50 or more pounds overweight, and doesn't have wild back and forth weight gains/losses, doesn't mean their weight is static and unaffected by overconsumption.
  • MamaP47
    MamaP47 Posts: 94 Member
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    I've had roommates before and it is tempting. The easy thing is to blame someone else when ultimately you are the one who puts food in your mouth.

    Self-control isn't easy, but you can learn to practice and enforce it. The best option for me was always having my heathy snacks around and meal prep in advance. That way, when we all ate together...I always had food I know I could eat and that was a reasonable portion.

    And when all else failed...I just hit the gym harder. Good luck!
  • ForecasterJason
    ForecasterJason Posts: 2,577 Member
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Caloric needs for a small person are much less than a bigger person. She's not a special snowflake, as none of us are.
    Don't forget there are other factors such as age. Although I am a very small guy, I'm pretty sure my maintenance calories for my activity level are close to what some other older people are maintaining on.

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