Going to a dinner party, what to wear?

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FaylinaMeir
FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
edited November 2014 in Motivation and Support
This is kinda related to motivation since I'm really freaking out. Firstly : I still don't like how I look, I've always considered myself the fat ugly one in the group. I'm social awkward, no friends, and don't typical do these things.
I am an elite yelper, and I got on the guest list to a pretty special dinner party I guess, only 14 were picked out of a lot of people. There was no mention of dress code in the listing page, nor the email sent to me BUT there will be a photographer on hand to take pictures of the food and the people who attend. The place itself also has no dress code but it's in an upscale tendy sorta neighborhood (or atleast it tries to be) and it surrounded by expensive places.

The smart part of me is saying to dress up, however I've donated most of the "nice" things I owned because they don't fit me anymore. I also really don't feel comfortable dressing up, I've never been girly. All I have is a couple shirts like the one I have on in my photo, some nice looking plain sweaters, and a couple really ugly (in my opinion) flowery print tops.

I want to wear a plain black sweater and some blue jeans with boots. Do you guys think this would be enough? I also have the grey sweater in my other photo but It's even less fancy. (although awesomely comfortable :laugh: )

The other problem is I'm broke and don't have the money to just go buy a dress or something, not to mention it's hard to find one in my size that looks good.

What would you do in my position?

Replies

  • fearlessleader104
    fearlessleader104 Posts: 723 Member
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    Whatever makes you feel comfortable. You are going out to have a good time, not to please other people you never met in your life.
    Have fun!
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
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    fearlessleader104 wrote: »
    Whatever makes you feel comfortable. You are going out to have a good time, not to please other people you never met in your life.
    Have fun!

    Also, this^^^^

    OR



    Do you have a Ross or a Marshalls nearby? One of the best black dresses I bought was under $15 dollars, from Ross. I bought it one summer for a party and wore it throughout the year and into the holidays. I have also been known to purchase formal slacks (also in black) and dress those up with heels.
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
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    libbydoodle11 wrote: »
    fearlessleader104 wrote: »
    Whatever makes you feel comfortable. You are going out to have a good time, not to please other people you never met in your life.
    Have fun!

    Also, this^^^^

    OR



    Do you have a Ross or a Marshalls nearby? One of the best black dresses I bought was under $15 dollars, from Ross. I bought it one summer for a party and wore it throughout the year and into the holidays. I have also been known to purchase formal slacks (also in black) and dress those up with heels.

    Nope unfortunately I don't, there is a Marshalls several miles from here but I have no way to get there. My options are kinda like target, walmart, some local places, and the mall.

    I think it's awesome you guys are just like do what you want and be happy. This is what I was thinking, I dunno. It would be nice to make some friends, but then again wouldn't you want them to like you for you and not your clothes? :neutral_face:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    Too bad you don't have a Ross or Marshall's nearby. That's exactly what you need right now. I've found some really high end looking stuff there for super cheap.

    You have a "Dinner Party, trendy and upscale"...You can be kinda casual with some classy pieces thrown in, just don't look too much like you're "going out for a Big Mac and then crashing on the couch" casual.

    Black sweater sounds fine if it has a nice shape to it, it's not too casual, and it flatters you. I would only wear jeans if they fit the vibe of the party - like trendy and upscale looking jeans, not the shabby, baggy jeans you go camping or do yard work in. Check out Target and see what's on clearance. Sometimes you can find some real gems...

    Good luck and have fun! :)

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    What to wear?
    Wrong question.

    Who to wear.
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
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    jenilla1 wrote: »
    Too bad you don't have a Ross or Marshall's nearby. That's
    You have a "Dinner Party, trendy and upscale"...You can be kinda casual with some classy pieces thrown in, just don't look too much like you're "going out for a Big Mac and then crashing on the couch" casual.

    I laughed probably too hard at this LOL!! :laugh:

  • annette_15
    annette_15 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    Dress up your black sweater with a nice colorful scarf or statement necklace, Pile on some jewelry and do your hair and makeup. Dont need expensive fancy clothes to look put together :)
  • thingofstuff
    thingofstuff Posts: 93 Member
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    A plain black sweater (knit sweater, sweater, not hoody) dark jeans and boots would be totally appropriate! Pair it with a long or statement necklace though: Walmart, Target is awesome, and other department stores have on-trend, cheap and chic statement necklaces that can dress up basics like plain sweaters. (this link demonstrates quintessential basics pairing for all body types, playing with colour, but so easily adapted depending on pieces already owned)
    http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b1/8c/13/b18c13921d85e081679c429e2aa1badd.jpg
    The same basic outfit formula works for cardigan+tee/tank+statement necklace +jeans +boots/comfortable yet cute shoes. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look polished. Looking good helps boost confidence, confidence helps you feel free to be yourself and have fun, and that's what makes true friends, get it girl!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    thingofstuff wrote: »
    ...There's nothing wrong with wanting to look polished. Looking good helps boost confidence, confidence helps you feel free to be yourself and have fun, and that's what makes true friends, get it girl!

    Right on! You got this, OP! (*)
  • Rukikat
    Rukikat Posts: 13 Member
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    Both posters have great advice... You've got to be comfy but kick it up a notch! Ross is a fantastic idea... Right now I'm to the point where I have to replace a few items for work (business professional), but I don't want to buy nicer stuff until I reach my goal weight, so I hit up Ross. For sure found a couple of adorable dresses there for cheap!

    Here's my idea for you: go to Wal-Mart and pick up a basic button down woman's shirt in black, white or navy blue. You can usually find them in most sizes for about $15, the lines are flattering and paired with jeans it'll still be comfy. Then you can wear the shirt for the holidays too! This shirt is great... I have one and love it. Extra buttons in the bust area prevent you from accidentally giving a peep show and it doesn't wrinkle easy.

    You could also mix the floral print shirts you have with a basic solid color cardigan. Again. Wal-Mart has some great options in the $10 range I wear all the time. Somehow a cardigan makes me look/feel put together...

    Not to be a profile stalker, but you've lost a significant amount of weight, and that takes hard work! Treat yourself a little! And have a fantastic time!
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
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    Rukikat wrote: »
    Not to be a profile stalker, but you've lost a significant amount of weight, and that takes hard work! Treat yourself a little! And have a fantastic time!

    Thanks! :D Feel free to be a stalker haha. For the longest time my profile was private but I decided I might as well share the love. :laugh:
  • danika2point0
    danika2point0 Posts: 197 Member
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    Hi! Congratulations on your weight loss so far...You are doing impressively well. It sounds like it is going to be a great event...not to go against the tide here, but I always think for special events, you should get a bit dolled up. Plus, you deserve it! Getting dressed up does not mean you have to feel or be uncomfortable.

    A quick glance at Walmart.com shows that there are beautiful dresses in regular and plus sizes for women at less than $20 each...They look figure-flattering and comfortable! walmart.com/browse/clothing/women-s-dresses/5438_133162_538874

    I know you are on a tight budget...so even if you were able to buy a dress to match the boots and any accessories (jewelry, scarf, cardigan) you already have, I think you'd feel pleasantly glam! If you aren't able to do that, I agree with the above posters, about wearing the black sweater, jeans, and boots, and dressing them up with jewelry and a scarf!

    I hope you enjoy your event and feel as confident as you deserve to! :smile:
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
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    fearlessleader104 wrote: »
    Whatever makes you feel comfortable. You are going out to have a good time, not to please other people you never met in your life.
    Have fun!

    amen!!

    add a nice necklace or earrings and that will dress up what you already have. i think the black sweater is fine. if you are uncomfortable you will behave uncomfortably. so if the black sweater is ok for you, then so be it. i think they'd rather dine with you being comfortable!
  • Isabelle_1929
    Isabelle_1929 Posts: 233 Member
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    I second the "nice scarf" suggestion. Pick a fairly large one - rectangle, or "infinity". It is trendy - and particularly flattering with hair up, as you do. Since it's an evening out, you can pick a light scarf that is a bit fancy (e.g. with a thin metallic thread, velvet texture, etc.) but you will be able to wear it during the day anytime, with t-shirts and jeans. Just make sure the colour is rich and flatters you.

    Keep the earrings simple, though- like thin hoops.

    And enjoy yourself !
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    First of all Congratulations on your Yelp Elite status. Yelp is awesome and Eliters pique my interest when reading!

    Second of all Congratulations on your weight loss and correct decision to ditch your bigger clothes waiting for the wardrobe of your goal weight.

    Third, get ready for my NO MONEY suggestion of what to wear:

    As you describe the venue and event I DO think there is a fair amount of flexibility in what you can wear. I think very unique people will show up and so there is a certain amount of individuality you can express.

    I like your idea of the jeans and boots and black sweater. I'd choose the tightest/darkest/dressiest jeans you own regardless of length because they will be in the boots. I'd steal/borrow the scarf the man in the pic next to you is wearing. I'd wear your hair curly as you have it in the second pic on your profile pics and then adorn it with whatever shiny metallic hair doohickey you have...headband, hair clip or etc. I'd wear all gold details like bracelet/watch/cuff, earrings and whatnot.

    I'd find/borrow a smallish purse as interesting as you desire since your whole outfit is essentially neutrals save for that colorful scarf. If you can't find something eyecatching for your hair, just put one side up in any way that is flattering with a simply bobby pin for interest.

    If you're feeling in the makeupey mood, copper colors would look great on your eyes and red/orange/pink/ would look nice on your lips. Honestly, if you came to my mall and told any make up counter person your event, they'd love to do your whole face free, I bet they'd be just as excited for you at your local mall, everyone knows Yelp. Honestly too though, you look very pretty without makeup and it's not necessary and even preferable not to wear any if it makes you uncomfortable.

    You have been specially chosen for a unique event and I think the most important thing is that you feel at ease and happy to be there. It's a happy time. Again, congrats!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    OH! Don't wear perfume. Perfume is distracting at a regular dinner but for yelpers who are into their food the foods scents should prevail. And there might be wine, nothing should get in the way of the enjoyment of that. Ever.
  • consideritdonemi
    consideritdonemi Posts: 88 Member
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    I love Yelping and their events! I had Elite status a couple of years ago and it was awesome to be invited to cool places and activities. I used to be super shy and socially awkward, so I feel you. It was even hard for me to talk on the phone to strangers or ask a retail person for help. Everyone suggested great fashion tips, but for the social awkwardness check out the book How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. That book helped me A LOT. Also, I have embraced the saying: Whatever someone else thinks of me is their problem. And it is, really.
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your suggestions I ended up wearing skinny jeans and a grey shirt with a black sweater over it. No makeup cause it's not my style and actually a lot of people weren't dressed up at all, I wish I had just wore a Tshirt but I felt nice. It was really fun and we got a full 4 course meal with cocktails. It was my first and won't be my last yelp event. :D
    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
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    MyChocolateDiet wrote: »
    I'd steal/borrow the scarf the man in the pic next to you is wearing.

    HAHAH! :laugh: I wish I could steal the man in the photo that is Alton Brown from the food network, I got to meet him when he was in town and he's wearing a doctor who scarfs. They're like 200 bucks if you buy them online, I wish I had one.

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