Need insights from others: Food Hoarding?
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jess1992uga
Posts: 603 Member
Hey everyone. I am recovering from an eating disorder I have had since I was 6. And sometimes I get confused whether it is my ED (eating disorder) or normal what I do. Sorry this is long, but need insight. Kind of important because I am moving rooms in my on-campus housing and freinds coming who haven't seen my stash.
I get scared over being able to afford groceries and frequently buy things I think I may one day face and I buy it. But I kind of have a stockpile of some things, like oatmeal and unsalted pretzels, etc. Some of it is because people got it for me or it was on sale…but then I got scared if my stock started getting low because was scared wouldn’t be able to afford something that week. That would run out of everything at once. So I keep buying it even though have 4/5 boxes. And now I’m flipping out.
I am moving in December and when people see this stockpile what will they think? Is it normal? I mean some of the things its just like I bought a 12-pack of Snackwells when had the craving, but haven’t had the craving since. Do people keep these? Or do they toss them? I mean I feel that is normal.
But then there is the other food. Like the oatmeals. I get scared I can’t afford it or will run out of it or something. So I keep a large supply built up. Like it literally spikes my anxiety if gets low. I start freaking out.
And then there is the candy. I have candy I got last Christmas, easter, Halloween and I just never ate it, because can’t find place in meal plan and don’t get cravings for it. What do I do with that? Is it normal to keep it. I am just so confused. I’ve been so far from normal for so long.
So what do all my normies do? Do you stock up on things you know you eat? Or should I just keep one back-up not 3 (guess that makes sense). And what about things you buy out of craving, but then don’t crave anymore. Do you just keep it…I mean that seems normal.
I am so black and white…and this seems so grey. And then I guess I also want to judge self. To know if I am being ED or not. But it seems like maybe part of my stockpile ED (ie large amounts of oatmeal etc and fact I buy them again when still have two boxes in stockpile) and other is normal (bought it when craving and stuff leftover). Why do I do this? Any insights?
I get scared over being able to afford groceries and frequently buy things I think I may one day face and I buy it. But I kind of have a stockpile of some things, like oatmeal and unsalted pretzels, etc. Some of it is because people got it for me or it was on sale…but then I got scared if my stock started getting low because was scared wouldn’t be able to afford something that week. That would run out of everything at once. So I keep buying it even though have 4/5 boxes. And now I’m flipping out.
I am moving in December and when people see this stockpile what will they think? Is it normal? I mean some of the things its just like I bought a 12-pack of Snackwells when had the craving, but haven’t had the craving since. Do people keep these? Or do they toss them? I mean I feel that is normal.
But then there is the other food. Like the oatmeals. I get scared I can’t afford it or will run out of it or something. So I keep a large supply built up. Like it literally spikes my anxiety if gets low. I start freaking out.
And then there is the candy. I have candy I got last Christmas, easter, Halloween and I just never ate it, because can’t find place in meal plan and don’t get cravings for it. What do I do with that? Is it normal to keep it. I am just so confused. I’ve been so far from normal for so long.
So what do all my normies do? Do you stock up on things you know you eat? Or should I just keep one back-up not 3 (guess that makes sense). And what about things you buy out of craving, but then don’t crave anymore. Do you just keep it…I mean that seems normal.
I am so black and white…and this seems so grey. And then I guess I also want to judge self. To know if I am being ED or not. But it seems like maybe part of my stockpile ED (ie large amounts of oatmeal etc and fact I buy them again when still have two boxes in stockpile) and other is normal (bought it when craving and stuff leftover). Why do I do this? Any insights?
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What strikes me as "abnormal" (said in a neutral way, not pejorative) is not the quantity of food that you stock, but the anxiety and other feelings that you associate with it.
I do not stock because I live in a tiny apartment and have several groceries in a 10 minutes radius, so I buy as I go.
My mom for instance stocks a lot, because she lives in the country, doesn't like driving in the snow. They have a large house, and heck, she likes a good bargain! But even if she has a fairly large food stock, she does not think much if it, other than being convenient and economical. If she runs out of something, she'd just say : "Oh, no more cereals (or sugar or whatnot)? Let's add it to the shopping list." And that's it.
So getting back to you: it's totally "normal" for a college student to keep some stock of food, especially if your revenues may fluctuate. I remember that I used to stock on some staples, like tuna cans, coffee when it was on sale, pasta, etc. Again, what is really troublesome is that you seem to hide this.
If not already done, please see a specialist. The fact that you seem to be distressed over a low stock of oatmeal is the symptom of something else that no one on the Internet can diagnose.
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When you picture yourself giving away or throwing away the candy, how do you feel? Do you get anxious?
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If you live on campus put the candy and snackwell out in the kitchen with a note saying free to good home. They shouldn't last long.
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Like Isabelle said, your feelings about your behavior is the only off thing here. Your friends probably keep stranger things. I did know a girl who hoarded breakfast cereals (easily 10 or more boxes at a time) and cokes. But none of us really thought much about it and she didn't make a big deal out of it.
However, if the thought of putting your spare food out in a common area makes you very anxious, you might want to talk to a mental health counselor.0 -
I like to stock up on foods I know I like. I get very grumpy if I want my daily portion of something and then I find out I have run out. However, this isn't a source of anxiety, so that would be the concern. If you have foods that you haven't eaten and will not eat, it would be a good idea to toss them or even better give them to a friend who might use them. That would help you practice letting go of food items. I also think you should toss the candy, since most of it probably isn't fresh anyway. At the end of the day, if the anxiety surrounding this issue is severe or affects you on a daily basis, you should consider talking to a doctor about it. Good luck with everything!0
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I stock pile certain things when they're on sale. Tomato products, canned goods, things that take forever to go bad and will get used before that. If it's old I'd get rid of it. *HUGS*0
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Isabelle_1929 wrote: »What strikes me as "abnormal" (said in a neutral way, not pejorative) is not the quantity of food that you stock, but the anxiety and other feelings that you associate with it.
I do not stock because I live in a tiny apartment and have several groceries in a 10 minutes radius, so I buy as I go.
My mom for instance stocks a lot, because she lives in the country, doesn't like driving in the snow. They have a large house, and heck, she likes a good bargain! But even if she has a fairly large food stock, she does not think much if it, other than being convenient and economical. If she runs out of something, she'd just say : "Oh, no more cereals (or sugar or whatnot)? Let's add it to the shopping list." And that's it.
So getting back to you: it's totally "normal" for a college student to keep some stock of food, especially if your revenues may fluctuate. I remember that I used to stock on some staples, like tuna cans, coffee when it was on sale, pasta, etc. Again, what is really troublesome is that you seem to hide this.
If not already done, please see a specialist. The fact that you seem to be distressed over a low stock of oatmeal is the symptom of something else that no one on the Internet can diagnose.
She's not only admitted she's aware she has an eating disorder, but is "recovering" which indicates some sort of counselling and treatment.
I think the OP is just looking for some guidance on what's normal and what's "obsessive" behaviour.
OP, I say do whatever makes you comfortable. If you stock up when you can afford it to guard against going without when you can't, I say that's smart. My uncle lived through the war and still to this day has shelves full of preserved vegetables even though they are quite well off, because it is part of who he is to be afraid of running out of food. It's fine, if it gives him comfort to have it there, there's no harm.
As for the snack food and such, I'm not even sure, as I don't keep that kind of thing in the house. If you don't think you can fit it into your meal plan, and you don't see yourself eating it, then perhaps give it away (common food area at school) or throw it out.0 -
I come from a pretty impoverished background, we had very little food or even personal items when I was growing up. As a young adult it became important to have more than one back up "just in case". I always had extra food in the pantry, more toothpaste than one person could use before it expired, etc. For me, that imaginary catastrophe never came. I now live in a tiny apartment, there is very little room for excess. I learned I didn't need to keep so much. If I do have a need I can just run to the store and pick it up, no biggie. If you are gonna stock pile something have it be money for your retirement.1
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I would go through it and check expiration dates, at the least. The candy, if you're not interested, get rid of it. Throw out any packages of cookies and pretzels and such that have been opened. Donate anything that is going to expire in the next few months unless you know you'll eat it. If you're going to stockpile, do it smart with foods that last a long time.
Personally, I stockpile to the extent that my pantry and freezer space allows because I do a lot of my shopping at a warehouse club.0 -
libbydoodle11 wrote: »I come from a pretty impoverished background, we had very little food or even personal items when I was growing up. As a young adult it became important to have more than one back up "just in case". I always had extra food in the pantry, more toothpaste than one person could use before it expired, etc. For me, that imaginary catastrophe never came. I now live in a tiny apartment, there is very little room for excess. I learned I didn't need to keep so much. If I do have a need I can just run to the store and pick it up, no biggie. If you are gonna stock pile something have it be money for your retirement.
Think this has a lot to do with it too because I grew up not only under the control of an anorexic mom, but also in a financially hard situation. My mom prioritized getting herself designer clothes over getting us groceries, so food ran low. And that is kind of my fear. Will definitely bring this into therapy...thanks for the insight into the means behind the madness.
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I think keeping food you will not eat is abnormal. I would donate or throw away such foods.
I think keeping a couple month's supply of pantry staples is normal for older people with a house but probably not the norm for a college student in a dorm with limited space. Your college age friends will think it is a bit much I am sure. You might pare it down to say a 1 or 2 month supply of things you will actually use and fill up a large storage container. Only buy more when your storage container is at least half empty. You will always have food. Make a 30 day meal plan for yourself so you know you really do have enough to cover your needs for a month.
I have a lot of containers of oatmeal, peanut butter and dry beans that I was given. I donated a bunch of this stuff to a food drive along with a lot of other food but kept a bunch too because I do use it. I actually feel more anxious when the amount of food I have exceeds my storage space and my capacity to use it up before it expires.
My parents were hoarders and they would buy food- among other things- that never got used. They just kept buying even though their cupboards were full. I grew up like that and it was wasteful and frustrating. I'm sure that is why I try to only keep things I actively use as an adult with my own home.0 -
I do it. I'm a single dad with a little girl. I stock up on what she eats. More so near winter when work gets slow. I also have s secret stash of girl scout cookies and candy. I sometimes feel guilty about not sharing with her.0
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I remember being in the dorms a lot of people had extensive stashes of food. They might have had a hard time getting out to buy food, bought when the had money to stockpile or their family loaded them up during a visit. I do not think folks will look sideways at you having extra. Heck, my second roommate had 3 tubs of food under her bed because she loathed the dining hall. She was a fit girl, too.
Glad you will be bringing this up to your counselor to help you handle your anxiety. Bug I would not worry about excessive judgement from your peers.0 -
I also think it is a relief to have some food in the cupboard. I can close my eyes at night and know it is there and I will be okay. Even living in a cramped apartment, I always have at least 20 pounds of rice. When I don't have money and my fridge is empty, I don't panic because I. Have. Rice. If I eat it plain or with salt, I know it will last me more than long enough to get myself sorted again. I don't think anyone will judge you harshly for your compulsion - but it may help ease your anxiety if you can give one or two essential items the focus of your stash instead of trying to keep a bomb bunker supply of many things.0
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jess1992uga wrote: »libbydoodle11 wrote: »I come from a pretty impoverished background, we had very little food or even personal items when I was growing up. As a young adult it became important to have more than one back up "just in case". I always had extra food in the pantry, more toothpaste than one person could use before it expired, etc. For me, that imaginary catastrophe never came. I now live in a tiny apartment, there is very little room for excess. I learned I didn't need to keep so much. If I do have a need I can just run to the store and pick it up, no biggie. If you are gonna stock pile something have it be money for your retirement.
Think this has a lot to do with it too because I grew up not only under the control of an anorexic mom, but also in a financially hard situation. My mom prioritized getting herself designer clothes over getting us groceries, so food ran low. And that is kind of my fear. Will definitely bring this into therapy...thanks for the insight into the means behind the madness.
I had a similar situation growing up in terms of the limited resources, and I often wonder if that was not a component of my getting fat as an adult (I was slim up until age 25). When I started earning a decent income I really indulged as far as food went, and I found myself eating lots of snacks that I wanted to eat as a kid, but did not get.
Now I have stopped doing it, especially since March of this year, when I started to get healthy in body and mind. We have six people in our household, so even when I do buy large quantities of items, they are utilized quickly. I stockpile toilet paper, though, because it is a bummer to run out of that unexpectedly, you know?
Perhaps instead of stocking items, instead stockpile a jar with a few dollars here and there so you know you have the cash on hand, when needed, to buy whatever you like? It might save you money, since you won't have stuff hanging around like Snackwells, which interested you at the time, but which you don't have an appetite for now.
Maybe just pick one or two favorite items and stockpile those, but never more than two or three boxes, and walk around in your new living space and give away your stuff, that's a way to get to know people, and might be even more fun than leaving it out on a counter in a common space.
Good luck and I hope your new living situation is awesome. I think being your age, while great in some ways, is very difficult. I think you have many great years to look forward to-I am 48 and enjoying the best phase of my life ever.
Hugs.
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You hoard food? ._. .-. awkward1
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In my childhood, we weren't allowed sugar. When I moved out on my own I stockpiled candy and junky cereal like there was no tomorrow. The first time I had to lose weight I threw it all out - there was 10 year old candy in there!!! It was really stressful at first, I felt, I guess "exposed"? Like I was living without a net. But day by day living without the stash got easier and easier.
It's still hard though to shake that feeling of needing to exercise my freedom by indulging, even though it's been 25 years since I moved out.
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Man, all the good stuff has already been said.
Get rid of the stuff that doesn't fit into your meal plan. Why hold on to it until it is spoiled? It's a pain to store or to move. I stockpile some things. Oatmeal 
I only buy when it's a really good price, I buy enough to feed my family about 6 months... they usually have a good sale on oatmeal that often. 10 cans gets my family thru 6 months.. so if the sale comes up again and I have 6 cans left I only buy 4 more cans. I have a certain amount of space and can only allot it so much. A person needs variety. Give yourself a reasonable space for storing food and cut it back to that much. I have a large metal cabinet.. some kind of office piece. I like it because we have mice (we live in a barn.. goes with the territory) so when the metal doors are shut the food is safe. So, it's gotta fit in the cabinet. TP and papertowel goes in there too.. because mice love that stuff. Majority of my food hoarding is frozen food. There again, there is a maximum space for it.. if you stuff too much you loose things in the back and they get freezerburned.. spoiled. I believe in only having enough on hand to get to the next sale or 6 months max. One person with a case of tuna = frugal. One person with 5 cases of tuna = Hoarder. 0
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