Diet, Exercise, Hard Work.... and NOTHING is paying off. Needing help guys!

DestinyLittle
DestinyLittle Posts: 14
edited November 8 in Health and Weight Loss
Hello All,
I am writing this post to seek help, encouragement, and friends to can keep me motivated. I have gotten to the point in my life where I am truly just depressed with the way my body looks and just the way I feel health wise! Although I do not at all look like it, I am a whopping 190 pounds, and when I went to my 6 week post partum appointment my doc dropped the news on me. For my height of 5'5" I am the "Big O", yeah thats right, OBESE!!. I am only 20 with two kids so that did NOT make me feel good about myself. I always knew I needed to lose weight but good lord I never thought id be telling myself I needed to lose 60 pounds. Well anyways, I have a 4 year old daughter and a 3.5 month old son. According to the doctor and BMI charts I am supposed to weigh 145 for my height and my goal is to reach exactly that for my health and self conscious. My problem is that I have an extremely difficult time losing weight! I can work my butt off working out, and I can eat veggies all day but nothing has worked yet. In the past I always tried dieting but never tried really hard but now I actually am doing what I need to do and busting my a** to do it. The lowest I have ever weighed is 165 and that was as a freshman in HS. Overtime I managed to move up to 196 , gained with pregnancy, and was back down 197 at my 6 weeks PP check up. I am now 190 at 3 months PP. I am going to the gym between 4 and 5 days a week. I am doing cardio, ab work, and some lifting and what not. I am at about 50% clean eating and trying to work my way up to 100%. It is so difficult for me. I have been working out HARD since 6 weeks PP, so for about 2.5 months now with no weight loss, not even a pound. I just would like some encouragement and a lot of tips on how to lose this weight. Obviously I have now signed up for myfitnesspal and will be watching my calories, attempting to drink 6 bottles of water daily, and have already cut out all sodas and fast food. Can anyone help me with tips? Also Id love to have some friends on here to keep my motivated. Username is DestinyLittle
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Replies

  • njmark72
    njmark72 Posts: 99 Member
    Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The only way you will lose the weight is to put yourself first for the small part of your day to get your body active again. Go out an walk for an hour everyday, walk faster each day.

    Also, stop eating as much as you do, research low cal alternatives. Everyone on here has been in your shoes. Know this... you can do it but you have to take control of the situation and commit to it.

    Good luck!
    Mark
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    DestinyLittle wrote: »
    Hello All,
    I am writing this post to seek help, encouragement, and friends to can keep me motivated. I have gotten to the point in my life where I am truly just depressed with the way my body looks and just the way I feel health wise! Although I do not at all look like it, I am a whopping 190 pounds, and when I went to my 6 week post partum appointment my doc dropped the news on me. For my height of 5'5" I am the "Big O", yeah thats right, OBESE!!. I am only 20 with two kids so that did NOT make me feel good about myself. I always knew I needed to lose weight but good lord I never thought id be telling myself I needed to lose 60 pounds. Well anyways, I have a 4 year old daughter and a 3.5 month old son. According to the doctor and BMI charts I am supposed to weigh 145 for my height and my goal is to reach exactly that for my health and self conscious. My problem is that I have an extremely difficult time losing weight! I can work my butt off working out, and I can eat veggies all day but nothing has worked yet. In the past I always tried dieting but never tried really hard but now I actually am doing what I need to do and busting my a** to do it. The lowest I have ever weighed is 165 and that was as a freshman in HS. Overtime I managed to move up to 196 , gained with pregnancy, and was back down 197 at my 6 weeks PP check up. I am now 190 at 3 months PP. I am going to the gym between 4 and 5 days a week. I am doing cardio, ab work, and some lifting and what not. I am at about 50% clean eating and trying to work my way up to 100%. It is so difficult for me. I have been working out HARD since 6 weeks PP, so for about 2.5 months now with no weight loss, not even a pound. I just would like some encouragement and a lot of tips on how to lose this weight. Obviously I have now signed up for myfitnesspal and will be watching my calories, attempting to drink 6 bottles of water daily, and have already cut out all sodas and fast food. Can anyone help me with tips? Also Id love to have some friends on here to keep my motivated. Username is DestinyLittle

    Can you open your diary?

    You can work out hard as much as you want, but if you're still in a caloric surplus you'll gain weight. Get your calories in check and the weight will come off. Exercise is great for health and aesthetics, but your diet is how you control your weight.

    I'd also adjust to doing cardio, lifting, and some ab work instead of cardio, ab work, and some lifting. Sounds like you're putting more time into isolated ab work than full body strength training.
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
    Weigh your intake. Be diligent. Be patient. Set a reasonable deficit. Be patient.
  • briannadunn
    briannadunn Posts: 841 Member
    I have had five kids and i am 31..it always took me a year to get my weight down.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Eat fewer calories. You can still overeat if you eat too much food in veggies.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    weigh your solid food, and measure liquids. Without doing that you may be eating 10+50% more than you think you are.
  • DestinyLittle
    DestinyLittle Posts: 14
    Thanks everyone. I do go to the gym for 2 hours a day, for 4 to 5 days a week. I was thinking of trying that Couch to 5K app, my goal is to run a 5k by the end of 2015. My main issue is eating as I said and this is my first time actually trying calorie counting so I hope it goes well and works for me. I was introduced to my fitness pal by a woman whom I met at the gym. So this is my first real attempt at calorie counting. I also just read a post here about weighing your food and the importance of it, so I told hubby to get me a scale otw home. I am trying to read as many posts as possible regarding logging since this is my first attempt at logging.

  • tigerblue
    tigerblue Posts: 1,526 Member
    Until we learn, often by logging on a site like this one, we usually eat waaay more than we realize. Also, most women need a whole lot less to maintain a healthy weight than we think. You put those two together, and weight loss is quite challenging!

    You can use the MFP plan here in the way it is set up, and if you log carefully, you should be successful. I would definitely set your weight loss goal at 1/2 a lb per week or 1 lb per week, and not higher than that. It will be better in the long run.

    Also, you can figure out how many calories you burn per day (start with an online calculator like freedieting. com to get you in the ballpark, and then pay attention to what happens. If you lose, then you are eating less than you burn. If you gain, you are eating more. If you stay the same, you are eating just what your body needs to maintain. In that case, eat less than your total burned (referred to on here as TDEE) and you should lose.

    As several have said, exercise will likely not be enough. You will have to change some eating habits.

    It will not be easy. The most difficult thing for me was, and continues to be to some extent, recognizing that I am not hungry just because I want more! I always want more!

    Best of luck!
  • dominicyu
    dominicyu Posts: 14 Member
    Hi how's it going Destiny? Looks like you have a stubborn body like me haha. I also couldn't lose weight either at first no matter how hard i tried. I was putting tremendous work at the gym and my diet was 50% just like you. The thing is diet is the key factor in losing weight no matter how hard you work at the gym and run you won't lose any legitimate weight unless you're committed to a strict diet. Count your macros and put your diet as your priority because once that is in check you will lose weight like nothing trust me it works stick with fitness pal. Log in everyday for at least a month or two of strict dieting. Up your protein intake, moderate fats, and lower carbs as much as possible and you will get your dream body. You can do it! I'm on a harsh cut right now it sucks not being able to go out and eat whatever you like but in the long run you will succeed and overall feel more confident. As a workout regime, I say do cardio 5x a week for at least 30 min to an hour. An hour if you want to see real results with a strict diet and lift too. Most women don't lift because they feel it will make them too masculine but it will tone your body as well as build muscle mass that will then replace the fat making you leaner and more fit. Core lifts to stick to are squats and deadlifts because these our full body workouts that will not only make you stronger but also burn the most calories. Keep it up! We're all going to make it! Prove them wrong.
  • Aditi1310
    Aditi1310 Posts: 10
    You are my age.. and I am sorry to hear that you are struggling.. You can try Zumba work outs.. those r dance workouts.. they are fun.. plus effective.. it has wide range of videos.. from flat abs to cardio.. You can also try HIIT.. high intensity interval training.. I started doing that for my tredmill and cycling sessions.. started sweating like crazy.. you warm up for about 2-3 minutes at a moderate pace.. then go for vry high speed walking for about 2 minutes then return to moderate pace for 1 min break.. if done repeatedly for 10 minutes at a stretch for about 3 times i.e. 30 minutes.. I think the fat will start melting.. its working for me.. doing zumba for 45 minutes helped me shed about 0.80 inches from my abdomen and the nxt day HIIT tredmill + cycling helped me shed 1 inch..

    I also started having light dinner and heavy breakfast.. oats is a great option for dinner..

    Donot get discouraged.. you can do anything if you set your mind for that.. slow and steady wins the race.. it is especially true for weight loss.. and also I would like to be your frnd.. :)
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    1. get a food scale
    2. weigh/log/measure everythiing
    3. Set MFP to one pound per week loss and make sure that you eat that amount of calories. If you exercise, then only eat back half of the calories that you burn. So if MFP gives you 1500 a day and you burn 500 through exercise then you need to eat 1750 - 250 burned = 1500 net for the day.
    4. realize that no foods are "bad" and you can eat the foods that you like and still lose weight, just eat less of them.
    5. continue your exercise regimen
    6. continue until you reach desired goals...
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    it takes a long long time to see big changes.

    the best advice i can give you about logging your food is that you have to log before you eat. the further you plan your day, the better you are. and often times, i'll over log my food, because i often take things away.

    also, i was staying at the same weight for a really long time, but because of doctors orders i cut back on one cup of coffee a day, and no alcohol. i dropped a couple of pounds in a week. in a month i can start drinking more coffee and alcohol again, but i'll probably still limit booze to 2-3 drinks a week, and maybe just a second cup of coffee a day.
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    So you've been here for like a day and haven't actually been able to accurately track calories until today. You very well could have been overeating prior to this.

    And 2 hours in the gym seems excessive, especially at the beginning and without some type of competition coming up (like fitness, marathon, ironman, etc).
  • efisher999
    efisher999 Posts: 3 Member
    Weigh & measure all the food you eat. Count every calorie, even if you lick a spoon. You would be surprised of all the extra calories you consume without being aware. Like RGv2 said, you will not lose lbs. unless your calorie intake is less than you are burning.
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    edited December 2014
    Do you know how many calories you're eating? Do you know how many you *should* be eating to lose weight? I have found this to be the most accurate for me: scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/. It's taken me a long time, patience, and discipline to figure out the right numbers. Hang in there...you will too!

    No need to kill yourself at the gym two hours a day. The key to weight loss is consuming less than you burn. Work out, by all means. It's good for your body and mind. But do it in moderation or else you risk burning out. Focus on CALORIES, first and foremost.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Here's a couple good links that offer a lot of good advice :)

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
    RGv2 wrote: »
    You can work out hard as much as you want, but if you're still in a caloric surplus you'll gain weight. Get your calories in check and the weight will come off. Exercise is great for health and aesthetics, but your diet is how you control your weight.

    I'd also adjust to doing cardio, lifting, and some ab work instead of cardio, ab work, and some lifting. Sounds like you're putting more time into isolated ab work than full body strength training.

    I agree with the first half, but not the second. Appropriate ab work is absolutely (ha!) critical to postpartum moms - more important than full-body strength training until the abdominal muscles are repaired and back to pre-pregnancy strength. Just keep it gentle so you don't strain your back.


  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    603reader wrote: »
    And 2 hours in the gym seems excessive, especially at the beginning and without some type of competition coming up (like fitness, marathon, ironman, etc).

    i was thinking the same thing. i'm a triathlete, and i only do two 90+ min workouts a week.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Read the stickies on the forums and adopt good basic principles into your plan. Am sure others will tell you what they are, but get the basics right and then follow them. You will lose weight.

    You know funnily enough on this site you arent the only one who is overweight and in the process of losing. Some people are 300 and 400 lbs, so dont freak out, its more importnat you know what you are going to do.

    Your description of your difficult time losing weight (assuming its not medical) is simply becayse you are not doing it right and not eating at a deficit. If you burn more than you consume, then you will lose weight, thats it.

    To do that you need to use MFP to track what you consume/ count calories and make it an accurate record to meet your calorie tyraget. That means get a kitchen scale and weigh your food. Have you been doing that? Its most likely you have been eating more than you think. Get organised and plan your meals.

    Clean eating has nothing to do with it although a healthier diet is good imo.

    The exercise then you just have to make sure the burn is accurate, be wary of machines and what MFP says and be on the cautious side. Some people eat back 50-75% of calories burned. No idea if you are working hard, it true then that means you are eating even more than you think as the burned calories are obviously not having an effect. It takes 3500 calories burned to lose 1lb of fat. That could be anywhere from 5-10h cardio.

    My tip is learn how to do things properly and read the forums to pick up on common traits of those who lose weight successfully. It starts with logging and accurate recording.

    Good luck.
  • ngressman
    ngressman Posts: 229 Member
    I just started going to the gym, and one of the most frustrating thing for me has been the scale. Even though I go and workout 1-2 hours per day, the scale wasn't budging. I was taking classes like body pump, Insanity, and Zumba. I would sweat, the classes were hard, and yet the scale would say I lost 1 and sometimes 2 pounds. Try keeping track of measurements, too. I know it sounds cliche, but you will see more of a difference when you are measuring your waist. Judge your success by the way your clothes are fitting and the inches lost. Don't get discouraged. Keep at it. Just writing down what I am eating before I eat it helps me a lot.
  • DestinyLittle
    DestinyLittle Posts: 14
    Thanks everyone.
    I always thought losing weight was about eating healthy. I think everyone has this misconception at first.
    obviously I am new to the sight so I wanted to post and get advice. This is my first day logging, and I am buying a kitchen scale today.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    zarckon wrote: »
    RGv2 wrote: »
    You can work out hard as much as you want, but if you're still in a caloric surplus you'll gain weight. Get your calories in check and the weight will come off. Exercise is great for health and aesthetics, but your diet is how you control your weight.

    I'd also adjust to doing cardio, lifting, and some ab work instead of cardio, ab work, and some lifting. Sounds like you're putting more time into isolated ab work than full body strength training.

    I agree with the first half, but not the second. Appropriate ab work is absolutely (ha!) critical to postpartum moms - more important than full-body strength training until the abdominal muscles are repaired and back to pre-pregnancy strength. Just keep it gentle so you don't strain your back.


    And that's why OP can still do ab work. I didn't say quit it completely.

    My point by the statement: You can't spot reduce. A solid full body routine will hit the abs as well as help maintain overall LBM and be more efficient to lowering overall BF% than isolated ab work.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Hi and welcome!

    First of all, do a little looking around the forums. There are "announcement" posts that are at the top of each forum section and they have some awesome advice to get you started.

    First and foremost, you need to bring yourself to the understanding that losing weight is about calories; eating less of them than your body burns each day. Eating "clean" doesn't matter, drinking lots of water doesn't matter, exercising every day doesn't matter... if you're still eating more calories than you're burning. You can lose weight eating nothing but junk food every day. You can gain weight eating nothing but vegetables and whole grains. Once you have that reality straight, we can move on to the business of actually losing weight. It's something that took me a long time to figure out, probably because when I was your age it wasn't something that was discussed like it is today. We all thought we had to eat cottage cheese and salad and do the Jane Fonda workout to lose weight. :smile:

    So... what's the next step? Log everything you eat and drink. It's as simple as that. Well, not entirely that simple, you also need to make sure that what you're logging is accurate and that means using a food scale and measuring cups. Be honest with yourself about what you are eating. As you're getting started, don't worry about being under or over calories or anything else; just get into the habit of logging everything you put into your mouth including vitamins and gum because it all adds up. You need to spend some time learning about the calorie content of the foods you're eating because, trust me, some things will really surprise you. Weighing and measuring your foods will ensure an accurate calorie account but also acquaint you with what portion sizes for those foods look like. 4 ounces of chicken is probably a lot smaller than you'd think and 200 calories of peanut butter is, too.

    After a few days to a week of logging everything, take a good look at what you've been eating and see where you can make some easy changes to reduce your intake to the calorie goal that MFP sets for you. I'm not saying it's anything you're doing purposefully, but if you've already changed your diet and you're still not losing weight, something is either more calories than you think it is or your neglecting taking something into account. Logging and reviewing your diary will help you to spot those things.

    Trust MFP and the goals it sets for you. Don't try to be too aggressive with that goal, either. The more you learn about how to eat in a way that you are not hungry but can still lose weight, the more likely you are to keep that weight off once you reach your goal.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    DestinyLittle wrote: »
    Thanks everyone.
    I always thought losing weight was about eating healthy. I think everyone has this misconception at first.
    obviously I am new to the sight so I wanted to post and get advice. This is my first day logging, and I am buying a kitchen scale today.


    tumblr_mpw0seFEms1s8a3fyo1_500.gif
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    RGv2 wrote: »
    zarckon wrote: »
    RGv2 wrote: »
    You can work out hard as much as you want, but if you're still in a caloric surplus you'll gain weight. Get your calories in check and the weight will come off. Exercise is great for health and aesthetics, but your diet is how you control your weight.

    I'd also adjust to doing cardio, lifting, and some ab work instead of cardio, ab work, and some lifting. Sounds like you're putting more time into isolated ab work than full body strength training.

    I agree with the first half, but not the second. Appropriate ab work is absolutely (ha!) critical to postpartum moms - more important than full-body strength training until the abdominal muscles are repaired and back to pre-pregnancy strength. Just keep it gentle so you don't strain your back.


    And that's why OP can still do ab work. I didn't say quit it completely.

    My point by the statement: You can't spot reduce. A solid full body routine will hit the abs as well as help maintain overall LBM and be more efficient to lowering overall BF% than isolated ab work.

    ^Completely agree

  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Don't give up before you get started. Utilize the app for a few months and see what kind of progress you make then. I'm sure you will be happily surprised. Even though you have been eating "clean" that doesn't mean you have been eating at a calorie deficit which is really what you need to do to lose weight. Kudos to you for working hard and making the changes you need to to be healthier and happier for yourself and your kids. You are only 3 months postpartum and have already been losing without even counting your calories. Good job.
  • 1moretimetho
    1moretimetho Posts: 33 Member
    Get that kitchen scale and be honest with yourself!! A lot of machines OVER estimate calorie burns and a lot of people UNDER estimate the amount they eat. This = failure. (For that reason, I just stick to a daily calorie amount and I don't "eat back" exercise calories, cause I include them in my day) I'm spoken like a true champion, but truth be told I have quote some weight to lose myself. But that's because I was lazy, didn't care and didn't want it bad enough. I'm back and i'm done playing games. Add me if you want!!
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    dominicyu wrote: »
    Hi how's it going Destiny? Looks like you have a stubborn body like me haha. I also couldn't lose weight either at first no matter how hard i tried. I was putting tremendous work at the gym and my diet was 50% just like you. The thing is diet is the key factor in losing weight no matter how hard you work at the gym and run you won't lose any legitimate weight unless you're committed to a strict diet. Count your macros and put your diet as your priority because once that is in check you will lose weight like nothing trust me it works stick with fitness pal. Log in everyday for at least a month or two of strict dieting. Up your protein intake, moderate fats, and lower carbs as much as possible and you will get your dream body. You can do it! I'm on a harsh cut right now it sucks not being able to go out and eat whatever you like but in the long run you will succeed and overall feel more confident. As a workout regime, I say do cardio 5x a week for at least 30 min to an hour. An hour if you want to see real results with a strict diet and lift too. Most women don't lift because they feel it will make them too masculine but it will tone your body as well as build muscle mass that will then replace the fat making you leaner and more fit. Core lifts to stick to are squats and deadlifts because these our full body workouts that will not only make you stronger but also burn the most calories. Keep it up! We're all going to make it! Prove them wrong.

    I disagree about the strict dieting. Restricting yourself too much can lead to giving up. Simply find your TDEE, and try to eat about 500 cals less (If you're aiming for a lb a week) You can aid the process by excercising. (Which I know you already do) Eat 250 less per day, and burn 250 through excercise. 250 to 500 is not terribly hard to do. Also, If you mess up a day (you probably will, we all do) Just get back on track immediately. Don't beat yourself up or figure all is lost and quit for a week.

  • Geojerm
    Geojerm Posts: 291 Member
    briannadunn wrote: »
    I have had five kids and i am 31..it always took me a year to get my weight down.

    I like this answer : D
    Other posters don't seem to notice OP just had a baby.

    I'd suggest you start walking with your baby every day ... be good for both of you : D

    Hope you're managing to get enough sleep zzzzz

    Keep logging and keep trying. You can do it.


  • stevestaggs
    stevestaggs Posts: 1
    I'd be willing to take a look at your log if you want. The only real way to help you is to see exactly what you are eating. There are so many variables in this game, and people don't seem to realize that calories are only 1 variable (and that variable is not even as important as most others). In addition, most people don't consider their diet to be that bad. How often have you heard, "I can't lost weight, but my diet is not THAT bad." What exactly is "that bad?" It's a relative term. Anyways, let me know if you want me to take a look at your log.
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